Lost Cause
Hey again! OK this is...different from what I usually write about well not really, Normal Living is kind of like this. But hey! If this is my first story you have read of mine please read my others. There all 1xR not many people like them any more...
I got inspired to write this after reading "War" by Demoness Mark. Go read it, it's very good and is very different. I also got inspired by the song "Lost Cause" by Beck and you might see a quote or two from the song in these fic, anyway ONWARD!!
Rating: Please don't read this if you don't like to talk/read about suicide, drugs, depression, mental illnesses, and or any other of the same topic. Please before reading this, it is extremely mature. Read, don't flame.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 1-Heero Yuy
I sit. Every day I sit, watching the heat from the fake sun bake the fake ground in this fake place were I have a fake home. Yeah, I'm fake, what do you care?
I watch. Damn do I see everything. I see the orphans dying from disease, looking for a place to sleep, to work, to steal from. I see the mother's hand that hits the child. I see the fighting between drunks, the helpless whores walking looking for a good ole' time. I see everything and more. I see the business man pick up the whores in a SUV with a baby-sit in the back. I see the drinks hurt other's for kicks. I see the orphans being slowing picked up to be killed, to go to church, to end up like us.
Us. The Kamikaze 5. 5 of "us." 5 is just way to many. Nothing good ever comes from five. Add one more, there would be six. Look ma, I can add! Oh, wait, nevermind you aren't here. You never were. Where did you go? What did you do? I hope you had fun. I know I didn't. Were are you father? Don't you care that I'm a strong big boy? Don't you care that I know the difference between a .55 and a .5? Aren't you proud that I know how to blow shit up? Aren't you proud of your big boy? Guess not. The 5 of "us" damn, that's only 2 pair of parents. No wonder we are wanted dead. The "Shinigami." The Killer. The Pacifist. The Knowledge. The Silencer. That's 5, looked I did it again. I really should stop that, I might depress someone.
Yup, we're wanted dead, or at least we want to die. When you sit for as long as we have sat, you have to be out of your mind. Maybe we shouldn't be known as "Shinigami", killer, pacifist, knowledge, silencer. Maybe The Druggie. The Schizo. The Popper. The Pyro. The Cutter. Those names fit us much better. We are no more then the underdogs.
I have no more reason to seen as a hero. I have reduced myself to long days of listening to the "mes" in my head. To the voices that I was taught to ignore. Yes, people, here me. Your biggest "hero", the person that saved you meaningless lives, is no more then the person you lock up for being "mental." I am nether I nor me. Or maybe I'm a she? I have lost my identity long ago, I am no longer myself for I am everyone, and everyone is me.
I've gotten tried of people in general. Maybe it's because deep down were all fake, and we are all no more then everyone else. I've served my purpose, I'm ready to go. Are is that we? That's what they say. We. I only want to be one.
People say you can only love one person. Maybe that's why I can't love Relena, for I am more then one, I am me, you, him, her, old, new. I don't know who I am, and if myself don't know who I am how should she?
It's time they tell me. Time for what? My last Will and Testament.
I love no one, no one loves me. I can't find myself. I'm tired of fight, for nothing at all. I'll take my wounds, and walk to the door. My gun is no longer you're problem. There is to many people, in this crazy old town. One less, none lost. Yeah it's about time one of us went away.
01, out...
~~~~~
Review please. ~Bama
Hey again! OK this is...different from what I usually write about well not really, Normal Living is kind of like this. But hey! If this is my first story you have read of mine please read my others. There all 1xR not many people like them any more...
I got inspired to write this after reading "War" by Demoness Mark. Go read it, it's very good and is very different. I also got inspired by the song "Lost Cause" by Beck and you might see a quote or two from the song in these fic, anyway ONWARD!!
Rating: Please don't read this if you don't like to talk/read about suicide, drugs, depression, mental illnesses, and or any other of the same topic. Please before reading this, it is extremely mature. Read, don't flame.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 1-Heero Yuy
I sit. Every day I sit, watching the heat from the fake sun bake the fake ground in this fake place were I have a fake home. Yeah, I'm fake, what do you care?
I watch. Damn do I see everything. I see the orphans dying from disease, looking for a place to sleep, to work, to steal from. I see the mother's hand that hits the child. I see the fighting between drunks, the helpless whores walking looking for a good ole' time. I see everything and more. I see the business man pick up the whores in a SUV with a baby-sit in the back. I see the drinks hurt other's for kicks. I see the orphans being slowing picked up to be killed, to go to church, to end up like us.
Us. The Kamikaze 5. 5 of "us." 5 is just way to many. Nothing good ever comes from five. Add one more, there would be six. Look ma, I can add! Oh, wait, nevermind you aren't here. You never were. Where did you go? What did you do? I hope you had fun. I know I didn't. Were are you father? Don't you care that I'm a strong big boy? Don't you care that I know the difference between a .55 and a .5? Aren't you proud that I know how to blow shit up? Aren't you proud of your big boy? Guess not. The 5 of "us" damn, that's only 2 pair of parents. No wonder we are wanted dead. The "Shinigami." The Killer. The Pacifist. The Knowledge. The Silencer. That's 5, looked I did it again. I really should stop that, I might depress someone.
Yup, we're wanted dead, or at least we want to die. When you sit for as long as we have sat, you have to be out of your mind. Maybe we shouldn't be known as "Shinigami", killer, pacifist, knowledge, silencer. Maybe The Druggie. The Schizo. The Popper. The Pyro. The Cutter. Those names fit us much better. We are no more then the underdogs.
I have no more reason to seen as a hero. I have reduced myself to long days of listening to the "mes" in my head. To the voices that I was taught to ignore. Yes, people, here me. Your biggest "hero", the person that saved you meaningless lives, is no more then the person you lock up for being "mental." I am nether I nor me. Or maybe I'm a she? I have lost my identity long ago, I am no longer myself for I am everyone, and everyone is me.
I've gotten tried of people in general. Maybe it's because deep down were all fake, and we are all no more then everyone else. I've served my purpose, I'm ready to go. Are is that we? That's what they say. We. I only want to be one.
People say you can only love one person. Maybe that's why I can't love Relena, for I am more then one, I am me, you, him, her, old, new. I don't know who I am, and if myself don't know who I am how should she?
It's time they tell me. Time for what? My last Will and Testament.
I love no one, no one loves me. I can't find myself. I'm tired of fight, for nothing at all. I'll take my wounds, and walk to the door. My gun is no longer you're problem. There is to many people, in this crazy old town. One less, none lost. Yeah it's about time one of us went away.
01, out...
~~~~~
Review please. ~Bama