Disclaimer: I don't own Will and Grace or its characters. Okay there are 4
songs in this chapter: 'Out of My Head' by Fastball, 'Lonestar' by Norah
Jones, 'Walk On' by U2 and 'Somebody Who Cares' by Paul McCartney. The
chapter title isn't a song title but an album title from an album from U2.
The French excerpt if from an actual French book.
Chapter Sixty
All That You Can't Leave Behind
Katherine woke up and realized instantly that she was in a strange bed. She turned over and saw Christopher was asleep, his arms around her waist. Closing her eyes, Katherine thought back to the night before and she sighed. It was almost time for her to leave. She moved the covers off her gently so she wouldn't wake Christopher up.
"Is it morning already?" Christopher asked sleepily as Katherine sat up in the bed.
"Yes," Katherine said softly. She got out and stood there, looking down at Christopher as he sat up. "Paul, I'm sorry-"
"It's okay Emma," Christopher said, waving his hand in the air. "You don't need to apologize."
"I had a dream last night," Katherine said softly, sitting on the edge of the bed. "You and I were engaged... and I was pregnant with our child, a boy."
"Oh Emma," Christopher said. He scooted over the mattress to her and wrapped his arms around her. "You can't pay attention to that."
"I wouldn't mind that happening in real life," Katherine said, staring at the wall. "Even if it isn't possible," she said, placing a hand on her stomach. She closed her eyes tightly, and then her chin shook.
"Everything will be okay Emma," Christopher said, pulling her head down so it rested on his shoulder. He ran his hand up and down her bare back as she cried softly. "You'll be happy soon, I promise you that. Even if it's without me."
~~~
A few hours later, at eight o'clock, Katherine stepped out of the shower in Christopher bathroom and proceeded to get dressed. Once she had stopped crying earlier, they had made love one last time before falling asleep curled up together. As Katherine was buttoning her blouse, she smiled a little, thinking of how Christopher had insisted on putting on another condom himself before they had made love earlier.
There was a knock on the bathroom door and Christopher said, "Breakfast is ready Emma."
"I'll be right out," Katherine said. The small smile had disappeared from her face, and she brushed out her hair. After they were finished with breakfast, she would have to go.
Christopher sat down at the small table in his kitchen and glanced at the front page of the New York Times. He heard the bathroom door open and then the sound of footsteps coming over to where he was.
"Thank you for letting me shower," Katherine said as she set her overnight bag next to the door. "Listen Paul, I've been thinking... should we not see each other anymore after this?"
"I was going to mention that," Christopher said as she sat down across from him and began to eat. "I think it's probably best if we don't."
Katherine nodded and then picked up her fork. She only could stand to eat a little bit of the meal he had made for her; the sadness was coming off of Christopher in waves. Finally, she put her fork down with a small clatter and said, "I can't really eat much Paul. I should go and get my kids."
"Sure Emma," Christopher said.
They both stood up and then walked over to the front door.
"Thank you for everything Paul," Katherine said as she picked up her bag. She placed her hand on his cheek and then leaned forward, giving him a small kiss on the lips.
"Thank you Emma," Christopher said, hugging her gently. "I love you."
"I love you too," Katherine whispered. She then let him go and opened the door, leaving the apartment and Christopher.
Leaning against the door, Christopher broke down, sobbing heavily over his loss. Now there was only one thing for him to do, so he pushed himself towards the kitchen and to the phone.
~~~
Katherine was let into Jack and Karen's apartment by Amber, who threw her arms around her mother when she realized who it was.
"Mummy! Auntie Karen said not to expect you so soon," Amber said as she let Katherine walk into the entryway.
"Well, it's always nice to surprise you," Katherine said. "Where are your aunt and uncle?"
"Oh, they're in the living room," Amber said, taking her mother's hand. She led her to the doorway of the room and said, "Auntie Karen, Uncle Jack, Mummy's here."
Karen looked over and saw that Katherine was looking back at her with a tiny smile on her face. "Come in Kath," she said, standing up off the couch.
"Thanks for watching the kids, I hope they weren't too much trouble," Katherine said as she sat down with her sister.
"None at all Sister Katherine," Jack said from the piano where he had been playing.
"Amb, Patrick, why don't you guys go and play with your cousins for a little bit?" Karen said to her niece and nephew.
Patrick and his sister glanced at their mother, when she nodded to them; they hurriedly left the room, closing the door behind them.
As soon as they were gone, Katherine seemed to just collapse, letting her body fall over and her head rest on her sister's lap.
"Do you want to talk about it at all?" Karen asked, putting the back of her hand on Katherine's cheek.
"Not really," Katherine said. "But I know you guys want to."
"Did he hurt you at all?" Karen asked.
"No," Katherine sighed. "He didn't do anything mean or horrible. He gave me the best sex I ever had in my life," she said as she stood up and walked over to a window, her cheeks turning red.
"Are you still staying with Eddie though?" Jack asked gently after the room was silent for a long time.
"Yes, I still love him," Katherine said.
"I hope you and Christopher are going to stop spending time together," Karen said. "Even if you guys are going to stay friends."
"That was it Kare," Katherine said. She walked over to the piano and sat down on the bench next to Jack. "We're never going to see each other, ever again."
"How can you be so sure?" Jack said. He saw that Katherine was putting her fingers on the keys and so he got up.
"I don't want to go back to that again. If I did, I'd never be able to leave him," Katherine said. She hummed the song she was playing on the piano, closing her eyes.
"You know you can sing if you want to," Karen said as Jack sat down next to her.
Katherine nodded and then stopped playing. "Do you guys mind if the kids and I stay over tonight?" she asked glancing back briefly at her sister and brother in law. "It's too lonely without Edward there."
"Sure Kat," Jack said before Karen could answer.
"Stay the rest of the week if you want to honey," Karen then said, smiling at her sister gently.
"No, I won't burden you both that long," Katherine said. "A couple of days are enough for me." And with that she turned back to the piano and started to play.
Round 'n' round
Carousel
Has got you under its spell
Moving so fast...but
Going nowhere
Up 'n' down
Ferris wheel
Tell me how does it feel
To be so high...
Looking down here
Is it lonely?
Lonely
Lonely
Did the clown
Make you smile
He was only your fool for a while
Now he's gone back home
And left you wandering there
Is it lonely?
Lonely
Lonely
~~~
Dinner that night was actually a very lively affair at the penthouse. Amber and Patrick were enthusiastic at getting to stay two more days and even more so since their mother was going to stay too.
Karen, who had been watching her sister since she had arrived earlier, was surprised to see that Katherine was acting very happy. She didn't want her sister to be sad because of what had happened and what was going on, but it was a little unsettling to her.
When Katherine took Sophia and Elizabeth to the media room, following her own children, Jack pulled Karen into the living room so he could talk to her.
"What's wrong?" he asked as he closed the door so they could have some privacy.
"Doesn't it seem weird that Kath is so happy?" Karen asked.
"Oh, you noticed that too," Jack said, leading her over to the couch. They sat down together and he put his arm around her shoulder. "Maybe she's just trying to forget about Christopher."
"You're right Jackie-boy," Katherine said, walking into the living room. She smiled weakly and then motioned for them to follow her. "You're daughters are wondering where you are."
Jack and Karen glanced at each other and then got up from the couch.
As she passed Katherine, Karen grabbed her hand and said, "Sorry Kath, but I'm worried about how you're doing emotionally now."
Katherine shook her head and walked away from Karen. "I'll be just fine, I need sometime to be on my own though," she said. She glanced over at the piano and said, "I'm going to stay in here for a little bit."
"Okay, we'll be with the kids in the media room," Jack said, taking Karen's hand. He pulled her out of the room, but she stopped walking in the middle of the entryway. "What is it?"
"I think I'm going to stay with her," Karen said. She hugged Jack tightly and said, "I know I should go with you and spend time with our girls but-"
"Don't worry Karebear," Jack said, touching her lips with his index finger. "It's okay with me. And besides, Kat probably needs someone to be near her, someone that she loves a lot."
"That would be Eddie," Karen said wryly.
Jack sighed and then said, "All right, then the sister she loves the most. Which is you."
"Honey, I'm her only sister," Karen said.
"No, she's got Sara," Jack said, smiling slightly.
"But Sara..." Karen started to say. She stopped and then shook her head as she started to laugh. "Poodle, one of these days... you're going to kill me."
"Hopefully making love to you," Jack said, whispering in her ear.
Karen smiled and then kissed him deeply, letting his tongue into her mouth.
After a few minutes, Jack pulled away from the kiss and said, "You should go in there now Kare."
"And you should be with the kids," Karen said. She kissed his cheek and then turned to leave.
Watching her walk to the living room doors, Jack called out to Karen before she closed the doors. "Love you Kare," he said with a wide smile on his face.
Karen gave him a wink and then blew him a kiss just before closing the doors so she and her sister could have as much privacy as they could.
"I don't mean to be rude Kare," Katherine said as her sister walked towards her. "But I wanted to be alone."
"I know, but I wanted to spend some time with you," Karen said as she sat next to her sister on the piano bench.
Katherine sighed and then nodded, meaning that Karen could stay in the room.
"Thank you Kath honey," Karen said, kissing her sister's cheek. "So what are you going to do?"
"Well, I was planning on practicing some of Bach's pieces, but since you're here, I suppose I'll need to sing some modern songs," Katherine said, smiling at her sister.
"Ooo, sounds like fun," Karen said, smiling brightly. "Let me pick the songs for you." She took the songbook that was on the piano, it was Amber's, and flipped through it until she stopped at one. "Here," she said, setting up the book for her sister.
Studying the lyrics, Katherine placed her fingers on the keys. "Good choice Kare," she said.
Sometimes I feel
Like I am drunk behind the wheel
The wheel of possibility
However it may roll
Give it a spin
See if you can somehow factor in
You know there's always more than one way
To say exactly what you mean to say
Was I out of my head? Was I out of my mind?
How could I have ever been so blind?
I was waiting for an indication
It was hard to find
Don't matter what I say only what I do
I never mean to do bad things to you
So quiet but I finally woke up
If you're sad then it's time you spoke up too
~~~
At around nine o'clock, Katherine walked into the room where Amber was going to be sleeping in. She was surprised to see that her son was sitting on the bed next to his sister.
"Mummy, we want you to read this book to us," Amber said, handing her mother a thing book.
"What is it?" Katherine asked, looking at the cover. She flipped through the pages and asked, "Where did you get this?"
"Amber asked Jack to get it when he went to Borders last night," Karen said from the doorway.
"Oh, well I suppose I can read a bit of it to you both," Katherine said.
"Do you mind four more?" Jack said as Elizabeth entered the room and he stood next to Karen, Sophia in his arms.
"You guys want to hear this too?" Katherine said a little laughingly. When they walked over to the bed and sat down on it along with Amber and Patrick, she chuckled and then went over to the window seat. "All right then." She opened the book and was about to read the first page when Karen stopped her.
"What's the book called Kath?" she asked her sister.
"'La Belle et la Bête,'" Katherine said. She then turned her attention to the page in front of her and started to read.
"'Il y avait une fois un marchand qui était extrêmement riche. Il avait six enfants, trois garçons et trois filles, et comme ce marchand était un homme d'esprit, il n'épargna rien pur l'éducation de ses enfants, et leur donna toutes sortes de maîtres...'" Katherine read in French with a French accent.
It took almost an hour for Katherine to read at least three pages of the first chapter. She had to stop at every paragraph in order to read the same passage again in English for Karen and Jack and their daughters. When she reached the end of the third page, she closed the book and said it was time for her children to get some sleep.
Karen picked up Elizabeth after she and Jack had gotten off the bed and together they went to Sophia's room first.
"Night sissy," Elizabeth said when her mother had instructed her to kiss her sister good night.
Jack allowed Karen to kiss Sophia next and then he placed the baby in her crib, covering her with the blankets. He kissed the top of Sophia's head and whispered, "Good night sweetie." With that done, he put his hand on Karen's back and then led her out of the room.
Inside Elizabeth's bedroom, Karen gave their older daughter a long hug before kissing her on both cheeks and then forehead. "Night honey, sweet dreams," she said as she gave her to Jack.
"Good night little one," Jack said, throwing Elizabeth up into the air slightly. He then carried her over to the bed and set her down.
Karen then moved the covers for her daughter and then pulled them back up over Elizabeth.
"Night Mama, Daddy," Elizabeth said sleepily in the middle of a yawn.
Jack and Karen left the room, closing the light and then the door gently. As they walked to their bedroom, Karen turned to Jack.
"Poodle, I think I-" she started to say.
"Should sleep with Kat tonight," Jack finished for her. "I know, go ahead Karebear, she'll be glad for the company."
"What about you?" Karen asked, looking up at him.
"Well, as much as I would like to join you two, I'm afraid that I'd start making love to you at some point," Jack said with a smile.
"You're horrible honey," Karen said, laughing. She put her arms around his neck and then gave him a deep kiss. When she pulled away, she said, "I'm sorry Jackie, but I'll make it up to you tomorrow night, I promise."
"Can't wait," Jack said, letting her go. "Night Kare."
"Good night Jackie," Karen said. She kissed his cheek before turning and going back down the hallway to the room her sister was staying in. She knocked on the door and then let herself in a second later.
"Anything wrong Kare?" Katherine asked in surprise as her sister walked into the room.
"Nothing, I wanted to stay with you tonight, if it's okay," Karen said, walking over to Katherine. She sat down on the bed next to her and looked at Katherine with an expectant expression on her face.
"Well, no I, yeah it's fine if you stay," Katherine said, a little taken aback. She stood up and then took the ponytail holder off of the bottom of her braid. She undid the braid and was about to brush her hair.
"Here Kath, let me do that for you," Karen said, grabbing her sister's hairbrush off the nightstand.
"You've got to be ill Kare," Katherine said, looking at her sister with shock in her face. "You actually want to brush my hair?"
"Why not? It's very relaxing and I thought you would like it," Karen said. "Now come here so we can get some sleep."
Katherine shrugged and then sat on the floor in front of her sister. She started to hum a little as Karen brushed out her hair.
"That's pretty Kath, what song is it?" Karen asked.
"Just a song," Katherine answered quietly.
"Does it have words to it?" Karen asked. When her sister nodded, she then said, "Why don't you sing it?" Katherine seemed to hesitate, so Karen said, "You have a beautiful voice honey, go on and sing."
Sighing, Katherine closed her eyes and then started to sing the short song while her sister finished brushing her hair.
Lonestar, where are you out tonight?
This feeling I'm trying to fight
It's dark and I think that I would give anything
For you to shine down on me
How far are you I just don't know
The distance I'm willing to go
I pick up a stone that I cast to the sky
Hoping for some kind of sign
Karen stopped brushing her sister's hair, but it didn't matter since she was finished. "Does that mean you're going to go to England?" she asked after thinking for a few moments.
"I'd like to," Katherine answered, thinking of her husband. "But I have things, too many things, to do here."
"But to wait until Christmas..." Karen started to say.
Katherine stood up suddenly, interrupting her sister. "Kare, I know you wanted to sleep here, but it would be best if you went back to Jack," she said.
"But Kath, you need-" Karen began.
"Go to your husband Kare," Katherine said, helping her sister stand up. "I want to really be alone right now."
Hesitating for a second, Karen sighed and then handed her sister the hairbrush. "If you have a bad dream or something... um, just knock on our door," she said a little awkwardly.
"I'll be fine Kare," Katherine said, hugging her sister tightly. "Kare... thank you."
"For what honey?" Karen asked surprised, pulling back a little from her sister.
"Just being there for me," Katherine said softly.
Karen smiled and kissed her sister's cheek after giving her another quick hug. "Good night Kath," she said as she walked to the door.
"I'd say the same to you, but I doubt you and Jackie-boy will get any sleep," Katherine said saucily.
As she opened the bedroom door, Karen turned to her sister and made a face at her, which her sister then returned. She giggled a little as she closed the door behind her and then she all but ran down the hall to hers and Jack's room.
Jack was lying in the bed, tossing and turning as he tried to go to sleep. He had been trying to do so for about fifteen minutes now. Finally, he gave up and sat up against the headboard, turning on the lamp on the nightstand.
"Can't sleep?" a voice said from the doorway.
His head looking up so quickly that he hit it against the headboard, Jack was surprised and pleased to see it was Karen. "Ouch!" he said, putting his hand on the back of his head. He looked up again and saw that his wife was walking to him.
"Are you okay Jackie?" Karen asked worriedly. "I'm sorry if I scared you."
"It's okay, I'll survive," Jack said, moving his hand. "What are you doing here though; you said you were going to sleep with Kat tonight."
"She told me to come back here, she wanted to sleep alone," Karen said. She lifted up her nightgown and then got on the bed, straddling Jack's lap.
"Okay, well are you still going to make it up to me?" he asked as he put his arms around her waist.
"I don't know," Karen said, looking thoughtful. "I meant to make up not sleeping with you tonight, but now that I'm-"
Jack quickly silenced her by pressing his lips against hers roughly. He tilted his head to the side slightly and then pressed his tongue against Karen's lips. He was surprised and a little shocked when Karen didn't open her mouth to let him in. He pulled back and looked at her, a confused look on his face. "What's wrong?"
"Shh Jackie, you're too impatient sometimes," Karen said. She leaned forward and then nipped lightly at his ear lobe before flicking her tongue over the bite.
Shuddering, Jack took the hem of her nightgown into his hands and then pulled it up over her body. He smiled when he saw that she was only wearing a pair of black silky panties. His expression then turned serious as he pulled her even more close to him and he kissed her deeply.
Karen sighed with pleasure when Jack broke off the kiss and trailed his lips down to her neck. She was aware of his erection as he started to suck on her breasts a few minutes later and then said, "Poodle, you should let me help you."
"Wif wha?" Jack asked, his mouth still on her breast.
"This," Karen said, reaching between them and stroking the bulge in his pajama pants. When he groaned, she smiled and then got off his lap, lying out on the mattress next to him. "Here Jackie," she said, helping him as he tried to take off his pants.
As soon as his boxers were off, Jack lay on top of Karen's body and allowed his member to press against her panties, causing Karen to throw her head back and moan.
"Tease," Karen gasped out as Jack reached down and slipped his fingers inside her.
"You know you love it," Jack said, a smirk on his face. He moved his fingers in and out for a long time. When he could tell that she was nearing her edge, he sat up and removed his fingers.
"Damn it Jackie, what the hell was that for?" Karen asked, her faced flushed and a little sweaty.
Jack took off his pajama top and threw it over to the floor. He then took off Karen's panties, tossing them over the side as well. Now that she was naked, Jack gave her an evil grin and then kissed his way up her leg, going as slowly as possible. When he reached her entrance, he kissed her leg once more before putting his mouth on her and stroking her with his tongue.
Karen hissed as Jack went slowly at first. As he moved faster and faster, she closed her eyes tightly and then clenched her hands as she felt her orgasm approaching. She almost screamed in anger when Jack sat up again before she was satisfied. "Jackie!" she cried out, whining a little bit.
"And you said I was impatient?" Jack asked, looking at her with another smirk on his face.
"That's it, you are so dead poodle!" Karen cried. She sat up at then knocked Jack backwards so he was laying on top the mattress now. She lowered his head to his bare chest and then literally attacked his nipples, sucking on them and biting them lightly. After a few minutes of this, she moved down his body, pausing here and there to kiss his skin and then lick some of the sweat that was breaking out on his body. When she reached his member, she ran her index finger around it for a long time, touching it softly and caressing it sometimes.
"Kare, would you let me fuck you if I said I was sorry?" Jack asked, gasping out the words.
"I doubt it honey," Karen said. She moved her finger away and then took his member into her mouth, teasing it now with her tongue.
Jack groaned as the pleasure started building up in his body from Karen's ministrations. He felt his orgasm was about to start, and he closed his eyes, bracing his body. He wasn't expecting Karen to pull away and then sit up. He opened his eyes and stared up at her.
"Sorry Jackie," Karen said, resisting the urge to finish him. She was sorely tempted to do so; the look in his blue eyes was killing her. "But you can't expect to do that to me and not get it back."
"Damn, but it's too much fun to bring you to the edge," Jack said, sitting up.
"So what do you want to do now?" Karen asked, her eyes wandering down to his erect shaft.
Jack was smiling as he helped Karen back onto his lap. He put his hands on her ass and hen lowered her down onto his member. "I dunno Karebear, what do you want to do?" he asked with a huge grin on his face.
"Oooh, okay, stupid question," Karen said, throwing her head back slightly.
"I love you Kare," Jack said as he helped her move up and down on him.
"Hmm, l-love you too," Karen whispered, pulling his mouth down to her breasts. When he placed his forehead in between them, she put her hands on either side of his head, and titled his head up.
"What?" Jack said, his eyelids half closed.
"When I put your mouth there," Karen said, still furiously moving up and down on his shaft. "It means I want you to suck my breasts Jackie."
Jack moaned and then moved his lips down to her right breast, enveloping the nipple in his mouth, sucking on it eagerly and furiously.
Karen let out a little scream and then bit her bottom lip as she felt her orgasm come back little by little.
"Here, this will h-help," Jack said, stumbling a little on the last word. He flipped Karen around onto the mattress and then started to pump in and out of her body furiously.
Clutching at Jack's shoulders, Karen closed her eyes tightly and then cried out his name as she climaxed a few minutes later.
With a small shuddering sigh, Jack thrust into Karen one more time and then climaxed, moaning around her breast.
A few minutes later, they had lain back on the pillows, Karen stretched across Jack's body.
"Love you," Jack said, kissing her forehead.
"Love you too poodle," Karen said, snuggling on his chest. She sighed a little and then closed her eyes.
~~~
The next morning, Katherine walked into the kitchen and made herself a cup of coffee, much to the surprise of the help that was there.
"Miss Katherine, can I get something for you?" Rosario said.
"No thanks, I'm just fine," Katherine said, smiling.
"M-Miss Katherine," a young maid said, coming up to her. "You're husband called an hour ago, he told me to give you this message."
Katherine took the folded piece of paper and then left the kitchen, going into the dining room. She sat down at the head of the table and then read the note.
'I have tried calling your cell phone, but it's not on. Call me soon; I want to talk to you. - Edward'
"My phone..." Katherine whispered, she gasped and then jumped up from her seat, running out of the room. She ran into her bedroom and then started going through all of her clothes in her overnight bag; she threw her clothes out and then stepped back.
"Forgot to pack something?" Karen asked, coming into the room, Jack behind her.
"I don't know where my cell phone is," Katherine said anxiously. She took her purse and then dumped its contents onto the bed. Her phone was not there. "Oh no," she groaned.
"What's wrong?" Jack said.
"You left it at Christopher's place, didn't you?" Karen asked knowingly.
"Oh god, I'm so stupid," Katherine said as she started to put everything back into her purse. "I know I said I wasn't going to go back..."
"Just go quickly," Jack suggested as Katherine walked past him.
"Tell my kids I went to the store," Katherine cried as she ran down the stairs to leave. ~~~
Katherine got out of the taxi, literally throwing the money into the front seat, she ran into Christopher's apartment building. She ran up the stairs to the sixth floor and then went over to apartment six twenty three. She knocked on the door hurriedly, trying to slow down her breathing. After waiting two minutes, she knocked again and was a little disappointed, he wasn't home.
"Locked out ma'am?" a man asked, walking up to her.
"Oh... no I- this is my friend's place," Katherine said, startled. "I left my cell phone in there and I really need to get it back."
"I can help you there," the man said smiling. "I'm the super for this building, and I came to get Mr. Stiles rent."
"He hasn't paid it?" Katherine said, surprised.
"No, which is very odd," the super said, scratching the back of his head. "He's always paid on time."
"Do, do you mind if I go in with you?" Katherine asked, feeling a little impatient.
"Sure thing, let me just get the key," the super said. He pulled a key from his jacket pocket and then unlocked the door. "Hello?" he said, stepping inside. He turned to Katherine and shrugged, holding the door open for her.
"Paul, are you here?" Katherine called out. She set her purse on the table next to the door, putting her cell phone that was there, and then spotted his apartment and office keys there also. "Paul?" she said, now very worried. She hurried into the living room, seeing no one there, she hurried to the kitchen. No one there.
"Holy shit!" the super called from the bedroom.
Katherine turned and ran out of the kitchen, the super meeting her in the living room.
"Call nine one one!" the man yelled at her, grabbing her arms.
"What's happened?"
"I have to call the police!" the super screamed. He shoved himself past Katherine and ran into the kitchen.
Running to the doorway of the bedroom, Katherine paused when she saw that nothing was out of the ordinary. She walked over to his closet, and very slowly opened the door wide. When she saw what was inside, she started to scream horribly.
Christopher was hanging on a short noose from the steel bar in his closet, he was dead.
"Paul, no, no, no!" Katherine screamed, digging her nails into her cheeks. She wrenched herself backwards and then started tugging at her hair hard. "Jesus, God no, why!"
The super, having called the authorities, ran into the bedroom and saw Katherine's eyes roll into the back of her head and then she fell to the floor.
~~~
A strange, horrible smell was being waved under her nose and Katherine's eyes opened wide, coughing and choking slightly. She tried to sit up, but was pushed back down.
"Take it easy Mrs. O' Neill," a man said from above her. "You've had quite a shock."
"Where am I?" Katherine asked, whispering slightly.
"At St. Stephen's hospital," the man, obviously a doctor said.
Hearing the word hospital, Katherine was suddenly bombarded by images of Christopher in his closet, hanging from a noose. "Oh god, Paul!" she screamed.
"Mrs. O' Neill, please calm yourself!" the doctor yelled as a few nurse came in, having to hold down Katherine as she started to move around violently.
One of the nurses hurried over to the side of the room and prepared a syringe. She came back to the bed and then injected Katherine with what turned out to be a sedative.
Katherine almost instantly stopped moving, and before her eyes closed, she murmured, "Karen McFarland, my sister... call her."
~~~
Jack had a hard time keeping up with Karen as she ran down the hallway to Katherine's hospital room. They had been called to the hospital ten minutes ago, and he'd had to grab Karen before she fell to the ground, her knees buckling.
"Mrs. McFarland?" a doctor said, coming out of Katherine's room. When Karen nodded he then said, "You're sister is going to be fine. She's in a slight state of shock, but she'll recover fully."
"Why is she in shock?" Karen asked, her voice trembling slightly.
"She saw her friend's body," the doctor said, after looking at Jack. "Dr. Stiles he... killed himself, hanging."
"Kath saw that?" Karen asked, her eyes wide.
"Yes," the doctor said.
"I have to see her," Karen said suddenly, walking past him and into the room. She saw that her sister's eyes were opened and she almost ran to the bed. "Oh Kath..." she said softly, sitting down on the edge of the bed. She placed her hand on her sister's cheek gently.
Katherine didn't answer, her eyes staring straight ahead.
"Don't do this honey, please," Karen said, her throat swelling up. She waited to see some reaction from her sister, but there was none. She burst into tears then and hugged Katherine, putting her head down on her shoulder.
This action seemed to shake up Katherine and her body started to shake with heavy sobs.
Karen sat up and then rested her forehead against her sister's. "We'll get through this Kath, I promise I'll help you," she said, wiping away her sister's tears and then her own.
"Me too, in any way I can," Jack said, walking up to the other side of the bed.
Katherine cried harder and tried to push Karen away from her. "Just leave me alone for now," she whispered hoarsely.
"No, I'm no-" Karen began to say.
"Excuse me, Mrs. O'Neill?" a policeman said from the doorway. When Karen got off the bed and then went over to Jack, he walked to Katherine and then handed her a letter in a plastic bag. "We've looked at this and I think you should see it."
Taking the letter, Katherine wiped her tears and nodded at the police officer. When he had gone, she turned her attention to the letter and read it.
Emma,
I know by now you'll have been told by the police what has happened to me. I have a feeling that you will be heart broken, but don't weep for me. I am not worth the tears.
You could not stay with me, and I hate to say that that is the reason I killed myself. It's very selfish of me to lay the blame all on you, but it's partially true. I am to blame as well, I could have pushed you harder to be with me, but I resisted.
I will be in a much happier place after I die, even though it's going to be without you. I worry about you though, I know you're not stable emotionally either, so I'm going to leave you with this song. Take these words seriously, and stay happy with Edward and your children.
I will love you forever,
Paul
And love is not the easy thing
The only baggage you can bring...
And love is not the easy thing...
The only baggage that you can bring
Is all that you can't leave behind
And if the darkness is to keep us apart
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second you turn back
Oh no, be strong
Walk on, walk on
What you got that can't steal it
No they can't even feel it
Walk on, walk on...
Stay safe tonight
And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on
Leave it behind
You've got to leave it behind
All that you fashion
All that you make
All that you build
All that you break
All that you measure
All that you steal
All this you can leave behind
All that you reason
All that you sense
All that you speak
All that you dress up
All that you scheme...
The tears flowed down Katherine's cheeks, miniature rivers on her face, and the letter; suicide note; drifted to the floor. He had killed herself, because she wouldn't be with him. She had caused his death.
"Kath," Karen asked hesitantly.
"Get out," Katherine whispered. When her sister and brother in law didn't moved, she sat up and screamed, "Get out! Get out! Get out!"
"Come on, let's go," Jack said, his eyes wide. He took Karen's hands and pulled her hurriedly out of the hospital room.
"He killed himself, because Kath wouldn't leave Eddie for him," Karen said as they walked to the elevators.
"Yeah, I think that's what happened," Jack said softly.
"I've just lost her Jackie," Karen said as they went down to the first floor in the elevator. Tears welled up in her eyes, and she threw her arms around his neck. "She's going to try suicide again and she'll make sure she dies."
~~~
In the middle of the night, Jack woke up with a start, feeling that something was wrong. He turned over and saw why; Karen wasn't in bed next to him. He got off the mattress and then left the room to find her.
He went first into Sophia's room and then Elizabeth's with out seeing Karen there. He went down the stairs and into the living room, seeing that she was sitting on the floor under a window, her arms around her knees. Her body was shaking, and he knew that Karen was crying. He walked over to her and sat down next to her, pulling her onto his lap.
"I hate crying," Karen whispered as he placed her head on his shoulder. She put her arms around him and tried to stop crying.
"You have a right to cry," Jack said, stroking her damp cheek softly with his hand. "She's the only family you've got at this point."
Karen sniffed and then got up; she went to the piano bench and sat down on it. "I love her so much Jackie," she said. "She's my sister, her blood is my own."
Jack sat down next to her and put his arm around her waist. "I would be surprised if you didn't Karebear," he said, brushing a strand of hair behind her left ear and kissing her temple gently.
Smiling through her tears at his nickname for her, Karen leaned against him and sighed. "What can I do to help her poodle?" she asked.
"I don't know Kare, I honestly don't know," Jack said after thinking for a minute seriously.
"Oh Jackie, I'm so sorry!" Karen suddenly cried, throwing her arms around his neck.
"For what Kare," Jack said, pushing her away from him gently so he could look at her face.
"All these problems... you don't need them poodle, you're so much more better then that," Karen said, looking extremely sad.
"Kare, I married you because I love you, and when I married you, your problems became my problems; your sadness is my sadness," Jack said, tilting his head up to hers. "If I didn't want that or didn't think I could stand that, I wouldn't have married you."
"I love you poodle," Karen said, hugging him tightly.
"I love you to Kare," Jack said, kissing the top of her head.
They remained on the piano bench hugging for a long time before Karen pulled away slightly.
"What?" Jack asked before he leaned down and kissed the tears off Karen's cheeks.
"I know it's late but..." Karen said, and she pointed to the song book on the piano.
"Anything for you Karebear, whatever you want," Jack said, kissing her lips. He faced the piano and then waited for her to do so too. He turned the book open to a page marked by a small red flag and then kissed Karen's temple. "Love you," he whispered before he played and then sang.
When your body is coming
Apart at the seams
And the whole things feeling low
You're convincing yourself
That there's nobody there, I know
I know how you feel
Like somebody has taken
The wheels off your car
When you had somewhere to go
Well it's annoying
Not going to get very far
I know
But somebody cares
There's always someone, somewhere
You should know by now
Always somebody who cares
It's happening day in, day out
Well you know by now
Always somebody who cares
If you don't know it
How will it find you?
How will we know your whereabouts?
But I know how you feel
I know how you feel
There's always someone, somewhere
You should know by now
Always somebody who cares
It's happening day in day out
Well you know by now
Always somebody who cares
Karen reached down and took Jack's hand into her own as the final note died away. She lifted the palm and nuzzled it with her cheek. "I love you so much Jackie," she whispered.
"And I love you with all of my soul," Jack said. He stood up and then lifted her up into his arms. "May I show you?"
"Yes," Karen said simply, giving him a small smile. She put her arms around his neck as he carried her up the stairs and then to their room.
Jack carried her to the bed and laid her down on the mattress. Sitting down next to her, he asked, "You're sure Kare?"
Nodding, Karen put her hands on his cheeks and then pulled him down to her lips, kissing him deeply.
While they were busy kissing, Jack reached down between them and then unbuttoned Karen's pajama top. He pulled away from the kiss gently and then kissed his way down to her breasts. He took her left nipple into his mouth and ran his tongue around it as he let his hand drift down to her pants. He slipped his hand under them and then her panties, brushing his fingers at the entrance to her sex a few times.
"Not like that tonight Jackie," Karen murmured, arching her back to his body. "I want you to be in me when I come."
"I wanted to pleasure you," Jack said softly. He drew his hand away and then pulled away her clothes as she did the same to him.
"You being inside me is the most pleasurable thing I can feel Jackie," Karen said as she reached down and grabbed his member, guiding it to her entrance.
Jack, concentrating on entering her, nodded and then settled on her body, fully sheathed in her.
Karen sighed in satisfaction, putting her arms around his neck. "I love you poodle," she said softly.
"I love you," Jack answered. He kissed her passionately as he started to thrust in and out of her. He wanted to give her as much pleasure as possible, so he moved slowly. Kissing her cheeks and lips gently, he reached down and fondled her breast, running his thumb over the nipple.
"Oooh Jackie," Karen said, running her fingertips through his hair and gently rubbing his scalp. "You, you can go fast if you want to."
"No," Jack whispered. After about forty minutes or so, he spoke again, "Open you're eyes Kare. Look at me."
Karen immediately looked up at Jack and she arched her body up to him and started to cry out in a state of euphoria. "Oh Jackie... yess... JACKIE!" she screamed as she climaxed around him.
"Ugh you're so g-gorgeous Kare," Jack said as he felt his own orgasm starting a second later. He thrust into her one last time and then climaxed deep inside of her. "God... oh my god... KARE, KARE!"
As they both were recovering, Karen reached down and then titled Jack's face up. "Thank you so much for comforting me honey," she said, brushing his damp hair off of his forehead.
"I love you Kare," Jack said emotionally.
"I love you," Karen said back immediately.
Jack smiled and then brought his lips to Karen's, kissing her deeply. He then got off of her and lay down on the mattress. He pulled her close to him and then ran his fingers through her hair.
"Good night Jackie," Karen said, getting as close to his body as she could. She sighed with contentment and then closed her eyes.
"Sweet dreams my beautiful Karebear," Jack whispered, kissing her temple.
Karen looked up at him, a large smile on her face. She put her hand on the back of his head and then kissed him passionately.
"Night," Jack said when they pulled apart. He smiled as Karen returned to her position she had been in before and then closed his own eyes, the smile staying on his face.
Chapter Sixty
All That You Can't Leave Behind
Katherine woke up and realized instantly that she was in a strange bed. She turned over and saw Christopher was asleep, his arms around her waist. Closing her eyes, Katherine thought back to the night before and she sighed. It was almost time for her to leave. She moved the covers off her gently so she wouldn't wake Christopher up.
"Is it morning already?" Christopher asked sleepily as Katherine sat up in the bed.
"Yes," Katherine said softly. She got out and stood there, looking down at Christopher as he sat up. "Paul, I'm sorry-"
"It's okay Emma," Christopher said, waving his hand in the air. "You don't need to apologize."
"I had a dream last night," Katherine said softly, sitting on the edge of the bed. "You and I were engaged... and I was pregnant with our child, a boy."
"Oh Emma," Christopher said. He scooted over the mattress to her and wrapped his arms around her. "You can't pay attention to that."
"I wouldn't mind that happening in real life," Katherine said, staring at the wall. "Even if it isn't possible," she said, placing a hand on her stomach. She closed her eyes tightly, and then her chin shook.
"Everything will be okay Emma," Christopher said, pulling her head down so it rested on his shoulder. He ran his hand up and down her bare back as she cried softly. "You'll be happy soon, I promise you that. Even if it's without me."
~~~
A few hours later, at eight o'clock, Katherine stepped out of the shower in Christopher bathroom and proceeded to get dressed. Once she had stopped crying earlier, they had made love one last time before falling asleep curled up together. As Katherine was buttoning her blouse, she smiled a little, thinking of how Christopher had insisted on putting on another condom himself before they had made love earlier.
There was a knock on the bathroom door and Christopher said, "Breakfast is ready Emma."
"I'll be right out," Katherine said. The small smile had disappeared from her face, and she brushed out her hair. After they were finished with breakfast, she would have to go.
Christopher sat down at the small table in his kitchen and glanced at the front page of the New York Times. He heard the bathroom door open and then the sound of footsteps coming over to where he was.
"Thank you for letting me shower," Katherine said as she set her overnight bag next to the door. "Listen Paul, I've been thinking... should we not see each other anymore after this?"
"I was going to mention that," Christopher said as she sat down across from him and began to eat. "I think it's probably best if we don't."
Katherine nodded and then picked up her fork. She only could stand to eat a little bit of the meal he had made for her; the sadness was coming off of Christopher in waves. Finally, she put her fork down with a small clatter and said, "I can't really eat much Paul. I should go and get my kids."
"Sure Emma," Christopher said.
They both stood up and then walked over to the front door.
"Thank you for everything Paul," Katherine said as she picked up her bag. She placed her hand on his cheek and then leaned forward, giving him a small kiss on the lips.
"Thank you Emma," Christopher said, hugging her gently. "I love you."
"I love you too," Katherine whispered. She then let him go and opened the door, leaving the apartment and Christopher.
Leaning against the door, Christopher broke down, sobbing heavily over his loss. Now there was only one thing for him to do, so he pushed himself towards the kitchen and to the phone.
~~~
Katherine was let into Jack and Karen's apartment by Amber, who threw her arms around her mother when she realized who it was.
"Mummy! Auntie Karen said not to expect you so soon," Amber said as she let Katherine walk into the entryway.
"Well, it's always nice to surprise you," Katherine said. "Where are your aunt and uncle?"
"Oh, they're in the living room," Amber said, taking her mother's hand. She led her to the doorway of the room and said, "Auntie Karen, Uncle Jack, Mummy's here."
Karen looked over and saw that Katherine was looking back at her with a tiny smile on her face. "Come in Kath," she said, standing up off the couch.
"Thanks for watching the kids, I hope they weren't too much trouble," Katherine said as she sat down with her sister.
"None at all Sister Katherine," Jack said from the piano where he had been playing.
"Amb, Patrick, why don't you guys go and play with your cousins for a little bit?" Karen said to her niece and nephew.
Patrick and his sister glanced at their mother, when she nodded to them; they hurriedly left the room, closing the door behind them.
As soon as they were gone, Katherine seemed to just collapse, letting her body fall over and her head rest on her sister's lap.
"Do you want to talk about it at all?" Karen asked, putting the back of her hand on Katherine's cheek.
"Not really," Katherine said. "But I know you guys want to."
"Did he hurt you at all?" Karen asked.
"No," Katherine sighed. "He didn't do anything mean or horrible. He gave me the best sex I ever had in my life," she said as she stood up and walked over to a window, her cheeks turning red.
"Are you still staying with Eddie though?" Jack asked gently after the room was silent for a long time.
"Yes, I still love him," Katherine said.
"I hope you and Christopher are going to stop spending time together," Karen said. "Even if you guys are going to stay friends."
"That was it Kare," Katherine said. She walked over to the piano and sat down on the bench next to Jack. "We're never going to see each other, ever again."
"How can you be so sure?" Jack said. He saw that Katherine was putting her fingers on the keys and so he got up.
"I don't want to go back to that again. If I did, I'd never be able to leave him," Katherine said. She hummed the song she was playing on the piano, closing her eyes.
"You know you can sing if you want to," Karen said as Jack sat down next to her.
Katherine nodded and then stopped playing. "Do you guys mind if the kids and I stay over tonight?" she asked glancing back briefly at her sister and brother in law. "It's too lonely without Edward there."
"Sure Kat," Jack said before Karen could answer.
"Stay the rest of the week if you want to honey," Karen then said, smiling at her sister gently.
"No, I won't burden you both that long," Katherine said. "A couple of days are enough for me." And with that she turned back to the piano and started to play.
Round 'n' round
Carousel
Has got you under its spell
Moving so fast...but
Going nowhere
Up 'n' down
Ferris wheel
Tell me how does it feel
To be so high...
Looking down here
Is it lonely?
Lonely
Lonely
Did the clown
Make you smile
He was only your fool for a while
Now he's gone back home
And left you wandering there
Is it lonely?
Lonely
Lonely
~~~
Dinner that night was actually a very lively affair at the penthouse. Amber and Patrick were enthusiastic at getting to stay two more days and even more so since their mother was going to stay too.
Karen, who had been watching her sister since she had arrived earlier, was surprised to see that Katherine was acting very happy. She didn't want her sister to be sad because of what had happened and what was going on, but it was a little unsettling to her.
When Katherine took Sophia and Elizabeth to the media room, following her own children, Jack pulled Karen into the living room so he could talk to her.
"What's wrong?" he asked as he closed the door so they could have some privacy.
"Doesn't it seem weird that Kath is so happy?" Karen asked.
"Oh, you noticed that too," Jack said, leading her over to the couch. They sat down together and he put his arm around her shoulder. "Maybe she's just trying to forget about Christopher."
"You're right Jackie-boy," Katherine said, walking into the living room. She smiled weakly and then motioned for them to follow her. "You're daughters are wondering where you are."
Jack and Karen glanced at each other and then got up from the couch.
As she passed Katherine, Karen grabbed her hand and said, "Sorry Kath, but I'm worried about how you're doing emotionally now."
Katherine shook her head and walked away from Karen. "I'll be just fine, I need sometime to be on my own though," she said. She glanced over at the piano and said, "I'm going to stay in here for a little bit."
"Okay, we'll be with the kids in the media room," Jack said, taking Karen's hand. He pulled her out of the room, but she stopped walking in the middle of the entryway. "What is it?"
"I think I'm going to stay with her," Karen said. She hugged Jack tightly and said, "I know I should go with you and spend time with our girls but-"
"Don't worry Karebear," Jack said, touching her lips with his index finger. "It's okay with me. And besides, Kat probably needs someone to be near her, someone that she loves a lot."
"That would be Eddie," Karen said wryly.
Jack sighed and then said, "All right, then the sister she loves the most. Which is you."
"Honey, I'm her only sister," Karen said.
"No, she's got Sara," Jack said, smiling slightly.
"But Sara..." Karen started to say. She stopped and then shook her head as she started to laugh. "Poodle, one of these days... you're going to kill me."
"Hopefully making love to you," Jack said, whispering in her ear.
Karen smiled and then kissed him deeply, letting his tongue into her mouth.
After a few minutes, Jack pulled away from the kiss and said, "You should go in there now Kare."
"And you should be with the kids," Karen said. She kissed his cheek and then turned to leave.
Watching her walk to the living room doors, Jack called out to Karen before she closed the doors. "Love you Kare," he said with a wide smile on his face.
Karen gave him a wink and then blew him a kiss just before closing the doors so she and her sister could have as much privacy as they could.
"I don't mean to be rude Kare," Katherine said as her sister walked towards her. "But I wanted to be alone."
"I know, but I wanted to spend some time with you," Karen said as she sat next to her sister on the piano bench.
Katherine sighed and then nodded, meaning that Karen could stay in the room.
"Thank you Kath honey," Karen said, kissing her sister's cheek. "So what are you going to do?"
"Well, I was planning on practicing some of Bach's pieces, but since you're here, I suppose I'll need to sing some modern songs," Katherine said, smiling at her sister.
"Ooo, sounds like fun," Karen said, smiling brightly. "Let me pick the songs for you." She took the songbook that was on the piano, it was Amber's, and flipped through it until she stopped at one. "Here," she said, setting up the book for her sister.
Studying the lyrics, Katherine placed her fingers on the keys. "Good choice Kare," she said.
Sometimes I feel
Like I am drunk behind the wheel
The wheel of possibility
However it may roll
Give it a spin
See if you can somehow factor in
You know there's always more than one way
To say exactly what you mean to say
Was I out of my head? Was I out of my mind?
How could I have ever been so blind?
I was waiting for an indication
It was hard to find
Don't matter what I say only what I do
I never mean to do bad things to you
So quiet but I finally woke up
If you're sad then it's time you spoke up too
~~~
At around nine o'clock, Katherine walked into the room where Amber was going to be sleeping in. She was surprised to see that her son was sitting on the bed next to his sister.
"Mummy, we want you to read this book to us," Amber said, handing her mother a thing book.
"What is it?" Katherine asked, looking at the cover. She flipped through the pages and asked, "Where did you get this?"
"Amber asked Jack to get it when he went to Borders last night," Karen said from the doorway.
"Oh, well I suppose I can read a bit of it to you both," Katherine said.
"Do you mind four more?" Jack said as Elizabeth entered the room and he stood next to Karen, Sophia in his arms.
"You guys want to hear this too?" Katherine said a little laughingly. When they walked over to the bed and sat down on it along with Amber and Patrick, she chuckled and then went over to the window seat. "All right then." She opened the book and was about to read the first page when Karen stopped her.
"What's the book called Kath?" she asked her sister.
"'La Belle et la Bête,'" Katherine said. She then turned her attention to the page in front of her and started to read.
"'Il y avait une fois un marchand qui était extrêmement riche. Il avait six enfants, trois garçons et trois filles, et comme ce marchand était un homme d'esprit, il n'épargna rien pur l'éducation de ses enfants, et leur donna toutes sortes de maîtres...'" Katherine read in French with a French accent.
It took almost an hour for Katherine to read at least three pages of the first chapter. She had to stop at every paragraph in order to read the same passage again in English for Karen and Jack and their daughters. When she reached the end of the third page, she closed the book and said it was time for her children to get some sleep.
Karen picked up Elizabeth after she and Jack had gotten off the bed and together they went to Sophia's room first.
"Night sissy," Elizabeth said when her mother had instructed her to kiss her sister good night.
Jack allowed Karen to kiss Sophia next and then he placed the baby in her crib, covering her with the blankets. He kissed the top of Sophia's head and whispered, "Good night sweetie." With that done, he put his hand on Karen's back and then led her out of the room.
Inside Elizabeth's bedroom, Karen gave their older daughter a long hug before kissing her on both cheeks and then forehead. "Night honey, sweet dreams," she said as she gave her to Jack.
"Good night little one," Jack said, throwing Elizabeth up into the air slightly. He then carried her over to the bed and set her down.
Karen then moved the covers for her daughter and then pulled them back up over Elizabeth.
"Night Mama, Daddy," Elizabeth said sleepily in the middle of a yawn.
Jack and Karen left the room, closing the light and then the door gently. As they walked to their bedroom, Karen turned to Jack.
"Poodle, I think I-" she started to say.
"Should sleep with Kat tonight," Jack finished for her. "I know, go ahead Karebear, she'll be glad for the company."
"What about you?" Karen asked, looking up at him.
"Well, as much as I would like to join you two, I'm afraid that I'd start making love to you at some point," Jack said with a smile.
"You're horrible honey," Karen said, laughing. She put her arms around his neck and then gave him a deep kiss. When she pulled away, she said, "I'm sorry Jackie, but I'll make it up to you tomorrow night, I promise."
"Can't wait," Jack said, letting her go. "Night Kare."
"Good night Jackie," Karen said. She kissed his cheek before turning and going back down the hallway to the room her sister was staying in. She knocked on the door and then let herself in a second later.
"Anything wrong Kare?" Katherine asked in surprise as her sister walked into the room.
"Nothing, I wanted to stay with you tonight, if it's okay," Karen said, walking over to Katherine. She sat down on the bed next to her and looked at Katherine with an expectant expression on her face.
"Well, no I, yeah it's fine if you stay," Katherine said, a little taken aback. She stood up and then took the ponytail holder off of the bottom of her braid. She undid the braid and was about to brush her hair.
"Here Kath, let me do that for you," Karen said, grabbing her sister's hairbrush off the nightstand.
"You've got to be ill Kare," Katherine said, looking at her sister with shock in her face. "You actually want to brush my hair?"
"Why not? It's very relaxing and I thought you would like it," Karen said. "Now come here so we can get some sleep."
Katherine shrugged and then sat on the floor in front of her sister. She started to hum a little as Karen brushed out her hair.
"That's pretty Kath, what song is it?" Karen asked.
"Just a song," Katherine answered quietly.
"Does it have words to it?" Karen asked. When her sister nodded, she then said, "Why don't you sing it?" Katherine seemed to hesitate, so Karen said, "You have a beautiful voice honey, go on and sing."
Sighing, Katherine closed her eyes and then started to sing the short song while her sister finished brushing her hair.
Lonestar, where are you out tonight?
This feeling I'm trying to fight
It's dark and I think that I would give anything
For you to shine down on me
How far are you I just don't know
The distance I'm willing to go
I pick up a stone that I cast to the sky
Hoping for some kind of sign
Karen stopped brushing her sister's hair, but it didn't matter since she was finished. "Does that mean you're going to go to England?" she asked after thinking for a few moments.
"I'd like to," Katherine answered, thinking of her husband. "But I have things, too many things, to do here."
"But to wait until Christmas..." Karen started to say.
Katherine stood up suddenly, interrupting her sister. "Kare, I know you wanted to sleep here, but it would be best if you went back to Jack," she said.
"But Kath, you need-" Karen began.
"Go to your husband Kare," Katherine said, helping her sister stand up. "I want to really be alone right now."
Hesitating for a second, Karen sighed and then handed her sister the hairbrush. "If you have a bad dream or something... um, just knock on our door," she said a little awkwardly.
"I'll be fine Kare," Katherine said, hugging her sister tightly. "Kare... thank you."
"For what honey?" Karen asked surprised, pulling back a little from her sister.
"Just being there for me," Katherine said softly.
Karen smiled and kissed her sister's cheek after giving her another quick hug. "Good night Kath," she said as she walked to the door.
"I'd say the same to you, but I doubt you and Jackie-boy will get any sleep," Katherine said saucily.
As she opened the bedroom door, Karen turned to her sister and made a face at her, which her sister then returned. She giggled a little as she closed the door behind her and then she all but ran down the hall to hers and Jack's room.
Jack was lying in the bed, tossing and turning as he tried to go to sleep. He had been trying to do so for about fifteen minutes now. Finally, he gave up and sat up against the headboard, turning on the lamp on the nightstand.
"Can't sleep?" a voice said from the doorway.
His head looking up so quickly that he hit it against the headboard, Jack was surprised and pleased to see it was Karen. "Ouch!" he said, putting his hand on the back of his head. He looked up again and saw that his wife was walking to him.
"Are you okay Jackie?" Karen asked worriedly. "I'm sorry if I scared you."
"It's okay, I'll survive," Jack said, moving his hand. "What are you doing here though; you said you were going to sleep with Kat tonight."
"She told me to come back here, she wanted to sleep alone," Karen said. She lifted up her nightgown and then got on the bed, straddling Jack's lap.
"Okay, well are you still going to make it up to me?" he asked as he put his arms around her waist.
"I don't know," Karen said, looking thoughtful. "I meant to make up not sleeping with you tonight, but now that I'm-"
Jack quickly silenced her by pressing his lips against hers roughly. He tilted his head to the side slightly and then pressed his tongue against Karen's lips. He was surprised and a little shocked when Karen didn't open her mouth to let him in. He pulled back and looked at her, a confused look on his face. "What's wrong?"
"Shh Jackie, you're too impatient sometimes," Karen said. She leaned forward and then nipped lightly at his ear lobe before flicking her tongue over the bite.
Shuddering, Jack took the hem of her nightgown into his hands and then pulled it up over her body. He smiled when he saw that she was only wearing a pair of black silky panties. His expression then turned serious as he pulled her even more close to him and he kissed her deeply.
Karen sighed with pleasure when Jack broke off the kiss and trailed his lips down to her neck. She was aware of his erection as he started to suck on her breasts a few minutes later and then said, "Poodle, you should let me help you."
"Wif wha?" Jack asked, his mouth still on her breast.
"This," Karen said, reaching between them and stroking the bulge in his pajama pants. When he groaned, she smiled and then got off his lap, lying out on the mattress next to him. "Here Jackie," she said, helping him as he tried to take off his pants.
As soon as his boxers were off, Jack lay on top of Karen's body and allowed his member to press against her panties, causing Karen to throw her head back and moan.
"Tease," Karen gasped out as Jack reached down and slipped his fingers inside her.
"You know you love it," Jack said, a smirk on his face. He moved his fingers in and out for a long time. When he could tell that she was nearing her edge, he sat up and removed his fingers.
"Damn it Jackie, what the hell was that for?" Karen asked, her faced flushed and a little sweaty.
Jack took off his pajama top and threw it over to the floor. He then took off Karen's panties, tossing them over the side as well. Now that she was naked, Jack gave her an evil grin and then kissed his way up her leg, going as slowly as possible. When he reached her entrance, he kissed her leg once more before putting his mouth on her and stroking her with his tongue.
Karen hissed as Jack went slowly at first. As he moved faster and faster, she closed her eyes tightly and then clenched her hands as she felt her orgasm approaching. She almost screamed in anger when Jack sat up again before she was satisfied. "Jackie!" she cried out, whining a little bit.
"And you said I was impatient?" Jack asked, looking at her with another smirk on his face.
"That's it, you are so dead poodle!" Karen cried. She sat up at then knocked Jack backwards so he was laying on top the mattress now. She lowered his head to his bare chest and then literally attacked his nipples, sucking on them and biting them lightly. After a few minutes of this, she moved down his body, pausing here and there to kiss his skin and then lick some of the sweat that was breaking out on his body. When she reached his member, she ran her index finger around it for a long time, touching it softly and caressing it sometimes.
"Kare, would you let me fuck you if I said I was sorry?" Jack asked, gasping out the words.
"I doubt it honey," Karen said. She moved her finger away and then took his member into her mouth, teasing it now with her tongue.
Jack groaned as the pleasure started building up in his body from Karen's ministrations. He felt his orgasm was about to start, and he closed his eyes, bracing his body. He wasn't expecting Karen to pull away and then sit up. He opened his eyes and stared up at her.
"Sorry Jackie," Karen said, resisting the urge to finish him. She was sorely tempted to do so; the look in his blue eyes was killing her. "But you can't expect to do that to me and not get it back."
"Damn, but it's too much fun to bring you to the edge," Jack said, sitting up.
"So what do you want to do now?" Karen asked, her eyes wandering down to his erect shaft.
Jack was smiling as he helped Karen back onto his lap. He put his hands on her ass and hen lowered her down onto his member. "I dunno Karebear, what do you want to do?" he asked with a huge grin on his face.
"Oooh, okay, stupid question," Karen said, throwing her head back slightly.
"I love you Kare," Jack said as he helped her move up and down on him.
"Hmm, l-love you too," Karen whispered, pulling his mouth down to her breasts. When he placed his forehead in between them, she put her hands on either side of his head, and titled his head up.
"What?" Jack said, his eyelids half closed.
"When I put your mouth there," Karen said, still furiously moving up and down on his shaft. "It means I want you to suck my breasts Jackie."
Jack moaned and then moved his lips down to her right breast, enveloping the nipple in his mouth, sucking on it eagerly and furiously.
Karen let out a little scream and then bit her bottom lip as she felt her orgasm come back little by little.
"Here, this will h-help," Jack said, stumbling a little on the last word. He flipped Karen around onto the mattress and then started to pump in and out of her body furiously.
Clutching at Jack's shoulders, Karen closed her eyes tightly and then cried out his name as she climaxed a few minutes later.
With a small shuddering sigh, Jack thrust into Karen one more time and then climaxed, moaning around her breast.
A few minutes later, they had lain back on the pillows, Karen stretched across Jack's body.
"Love you," Jack said, kissing her forehead.
"Love you too poodle," Karen said, snuggling on his chest. She sighed a little and then closed her eyes.
~~~
The next morning, Katherine walked into the kitchen and made herself a cup of coffee, much to the surprise of the help that was there.
"Miss Katherine, can I get something for you?" Rosario said.
"No thanks, I'm just fine," Katherine said, smiling.
"M-Miss Katherine," a young maid said, coming up to her. "You're husband called an hour ago, he told me to give you this message."
Katherine took the folded piece of paper and then left the kitchen, going into the dining room. She sat down at the head of the table and then read the note.
'I have tried calling your cell phone, but it's not on. Call me soon; I want to talk to you. - Edward'
"My phone..." Katherine whispered, she gasped and then jumped up from her seat, running out of the room. She ran into her bedroom and then started going through all of her clothes in her overnight bag; she threw her clothes out and then stepped back.
"Forgot to pack something?" Karen asked, coming into the room, Jack behind her.
"I don't know where my cell phone is," Katherine said anxiously. She took her purse and then dumped its contents onto the bed. Her phone was not there. "Oh no," she groaned.
"What's wrong?" Jack said.
"You left it at Christopher's place, didn't you?" Karen asked knowingly.
"Oh god, I'm so stupid," Katherine said as she started to put everything back into her purse. "I know I said I wasn't going to go back..."
"Just go quickly," Jack suggested as Katherine walked past him.
"Tell my kids I went to the store," Katherine cried as she ran down the stairs to leave. ~~~
Katherine got out of the taxi, literally throwing the money into the front seat, she ran into Christopher's apartment building. She ran up the stairs to the sixth floor and then went over to apartment six twenty three. She knocked on the door hurriedly, trying to slow down her breathing. After waiting two minutes, she knocked again and was a little disappointed, he wasn't home.
"Locked out ma'am?" a man asked, walking up to her.
"Oh... no I- this is my friend's place," Katherine said, startled. "I left my cell phone in there and I really need to get it back."
"I can help you there," the man said smiling. "I'm the super for this building, and I came to get Mr. Stiles rent."
"He hasn't paid it?" Katherine said, surprised.
"No, which is very odd," the super said, scratching the back of his head. "He's always paid on time."
"Do, do you mind if I go in with you?" Katherine asked, feeling a little impatient.
"Sure thing, let me just get the key," the super said. He pulled a key from his jacket pocket and then unlocked the door. "Hello?" he said, stepping inside. He turned to Katherine and shrugged, holding the door open for her.
"Paul, are you here?" Katherine called out. She set her purse on the table next to the door, putting her cell phone that was there, and then spotted his apartment and office keys there also. "Paul?" she said, now very worried. She hurried into the living room, seeing no one there, she hurried to the kitchen. No one there.
"Holy shit!" the super called from the bedroom.
Katherine turned and ran out of the kitchen, the super meeting her in the living room.
"Call nine one one!" the man yelled at her, grabbing her arms.
"What's happened?"
"I have to call the police!" the super screamed. He shoved himself past Katherine and ran into the kitchen.
Running to the doorway of the bedroom, Katherine paused when she saw that nothing was out of the ordinary. She walked over to his closet, and very slowly opened the door wide. When she saw what was inside, she started to scream horribly.
Christopher was hanging on a short noose from the steel bar in his closet, he was dead.
"Paul, no, no, no!" Katherine screamed, digging her nails into her cheeks. She wrenched herself backwards and then started tugging at her hair hard. "Jesus, God no, why!"
The super, having called the authorities, ran into the bedroom and saw Katherine's eyes roll into the back of her head and then she fell to the floor.
~~~
A strange, horrible smell was being waved under her nose and Katherine's eyes opened wide, coughing and choking slightly. She tried to sit up, but was pushed back down.
"Take it easy Mrs. O' Neill," a man said from above her. "You've had quite a shock."
"Where am I?" Katherine asked, whispering slightly.
"At St. Stephen's hospital," the man, obviously a doctor said.
Hearing the word hospital, Katherine was suddenly bombarded by images of Christopher in his closet, hanging from a noose. "Oh god, Paul!" she screamed.
"Mrs. O' Neill, please calm yourself!" the doctor yelled as a few nurse came in, having to hold down Katherine as she started to move around violently.
One of the nurses hurried over to the side of the room and prepared a syringe. She came back to the bed and then injected Katherine with what turned out to be a sedative.
Katherine almost instantly stopped moving, and before her eyes closed, she murmured, "Karen McFarland, my sister... call her."
~~~
Jack had a hard time keeping up with Karen as she ran down the hallway to Katherine's hospital room. They had been called to the hospital ten minutes ago, and he'd had to grab Karen before she fell to the ground, her knees buckling.
"Mrs. McFarland?" a doctor said, coming out of Katherine's room. When Karen nodded he then said, "You're sister is going to be fine. She's in a slight state of shock, but she'll recover fully."
"Why is she in shock?" Karen asked, her voice trembling slightly.
"She saw her friend's body," the doctor said, after looking at Jack. "Dr. Stiles he... killed himself, hanging."
"Kath saw that?" Karen asked, her eyes wide.
"Yes," the doctor said.
"I have to see her," Karen said suddenly, walking past him and into the room. She saw that her sister's eyes were opened and she almost ran to the bed. "Oh Kath..." she said softly, sitting down on the edge of the bed. She placed her hand on her sister's cheek gently.
Katherine didn't answer, her eyes staring straight ahead.
"Don't do this honey, please," Karen said, her throat swelling up. She waited to see some reaction from her sister, but there was none. She burst into tears then and hugged Katherine, putting her head down on her shoulder.
This action seemed to shake up Katherine and her body started to shake with heavy sobs.
Karen sat up and then rested her forehead against her sister's. "We'll get through this Kath, I promise I'll help you," she said, wiping away her sister's tears and then her own.
"Me too, in any way I can," Jack said, walking up to the other side of the bed.
Katherine cried harder and tried to push Karen away from her. "Just leave me alone for now," she whispered hoarsely.
"No, I'm no-" Karen began to say.
"Excuse me, Mrs. O'Neill?" a policeman said from the doorway. When Karen got off the bed and then went over to Jack, he walked to Katherine and then handed her a letter in a plastic bag. "We've looked at this and I think you should see it."
Taking the letter, Katherine wiped her tears and nodded at the police officer. When he had gone, she turned her attention to the letter and read it.
Emma,
I know by now you'll have been told by the police what has happened to me. I have a feeling that you will be heart broken, but don't weep for me. I am not worth the tears.
You could not stay with me, and I hate to say that that is the reason I killed myself. It's very selfish of me to lay the blame all on you, but it's partially true. I am to blame as well, I could have pushed you harder to be with me, but I resisted.
I will be in a much happier place after I die, even though it's going to be without you. I worry about you though, I know you're not stable emotionally either, so I'm going to leave you with this song. Take these words seriously, and stay happy with Edward and your children.
I will love you forever,
Paul
And love is not the easy thing
The only baggage you can bring...
And love is not the easy thing...
The only baggage that you can bring
Is all that you can't leave behind
And if the darkness is to keep us apart
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second you turn back
Oh no, be strong
Walk on, walk on
What you got that can't steal it
No they can't even feel it
Walk on, walk on...
Stay safe tonight
And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on
Leave it behind
You've got to leave it behind
All that you fashion
All that you make
All that you build
All that you break
All that you measure
All that you steal
All this you can leave behind
All that you reason
All that you sense
All that you speak
All that you dress up
All that you scheme...
The tears flowed down Katherine's cheeks, miniature rivers on her face, and the letter; suicide note; drifted to the floor. He had killed herself, because she wouldn't be with him. She had caused his death.
"Kath," Karen asked hesitantly.
"Get out," Katherine whispered. When her sister and brother in law didn't moved, she sat up and screamed, "Get out! Get out! Get out!"
"Come on, let's go," Jack said, his eyes wide. He took Karen's hands and pulled her hurriedly out of the hospital room.
"He killed himself, because Kath wouldn't leave Eddie for him," Karen said as they walked to the elevators.
"Yeah, I think that's what happened," Jack said softly.
"I've just lost her Jackie," Karen said as they went down to the first floor in the elevator. Tears welled up in her eyes, and she threw her arms around his neck. "She's going to try suicide again and she'll make sure she dies."
~~~
In the middle of the night, Jack woke up with a start, feeling that something was wrong. He turned over and saw why; Karen wasn't in bed next to him. He got off the mattress and then left the room to find her.
He went first into Sophia's room and then Elizabeth's with out seeing Karen there. He went down the stairs and into the living room, seeing that she was sitting on the floor under a window, her arms around her knees. Her body was shaking, and he knew that Karen was crying. He walked over to her and sat down next to her, pulling her onto his lap.
"I hate crying," Karen whispered as he placed her head on his shoulder. She put her arms around him and tried to stop crying.
"You have a right to cry," Jack said, stroking her damp cheek softly with his hand. "She's the only family you've got at this point."
Karen sniffed and then got up; she went to the piano bench and sat down on it. "I love her so much Jackie," she said. "She's my sister, her blood is my own."
Jack sat down next to her and put his arm around her waist. "I would be surprised if you didn't Karebear," he said, brushing a strand of hair behind her left ear and kissing her temple gently.
Smiling through her tears at his nickname for her, Karen leaned against him and sighed. "What can I do to help her poodle?" she asked.
"I don't know Kare, I honestly don't know," Jack said after thinking for a minute seriously.
"Oh Jackie, I'm so sorry!" Karen suddenly cried, throwing her arms around his neck.
"For what Kare," Jack said, pushing her away from him gently so he could look at her face.
"All these problems... you don't need them poodle, you're so much more better then that," Karen said, looking extremely sad.
"Kare, I married you because I love you, and when I married you, your problems became my problems; your sadness is my sadness," Jack said, tilting his head up to hers. "If I didn't want that or didn't think I could stand that, I wouldn't have married you."
"I love you poodle," Karen said, hugging him tightly.
"I love you to Kare," Jack said, kissing the top of her head.
They remained on the piano bench hugging for a long time before Karen pulled away slightly.
"What?" Jack asked before he leaned down and kissed the tears off Karen's cheeks.
"I know it's late but..." Karen said, and she pointed to the song book on the piano.
"Anything for you Karebear, whatever you want," Jack said, kissing her lips. He faced the piano and then waited for her to do so too. He turned the book open to a page marked by a small red flag and then kissed Karen's temple. "Love you," he whispered before he played and then sang.
When your body is coming
Apart at the seams
And the whole things feeling low
You're convincing yourself
That there's nobody there, I know
I know how you feel
Like somebody has taken
The wheels off your car
When you had somewhere to go
Well it's annoying
Not going to get very far
I know
But somebody cares
There's always someone, somewhere
You should know by now
Always somebody who cares
It's happening day in, day out
Well you know by now
Always somebody who cares
If you don't know it
How will it find you?
How will we know your whereabouts?
But I know how you feel
I know how you feel
There's always someone, somewhere
You should know by now
Always somebody who cares
It's happening day in day out
Well you know by now
Always somebody who cares
Karen reached down and took Jack's hand into her own as the final note died away. She lifted the palm and nuzzled it with her cheek. "I love you so much Jackie," she whispered.
"And I love you with all of my soul," Jack said. He stood up and then lifted her up into his arms. "May I show you?"
"Yes," Karen said simply, giving him a small smile. She put her arms around his neck as he carried her up the stairs and then to their room.
Jack carried her to the bed and laid her down on the mattress. Sitting down next to her, he asked, "You're sure Kare?"
Nodding, Karen put her hands on his cheeks and then pulled him down to her lips, kissing him deeply.
While they were busy kissing, Jack reached down between them and then unbuttoned Karen's pajama top. He pulled away from the kiss gently and then kissed his way down to her breasts. He took her left nipple into his mouth and ran his tongue around it as he let his hand drift down to her pants. He slipped his hand under them and then her panties, brushing his fingers at the entrance to her sex a few times.
"Not like that tonight Jackie," Karen murmured, arching her back to his body. "I want you to be in me when I come."
"I wanted to pleasure you," Jack said softly. He drew his hand away and then pulled away her clothes as she did the same to him.
"You being inside me is the most pleasurable thing I can feel Jackie," Karen said as she reached down and grabbed his member, guiding it to her entrance.
Jack, concentrating on entering her, nodded and then settled on her body, fully sheathed in her.
Karen sighed in satisfaction, putting her arms around his neck. "I love you poodle," she said softly.
"I love you," Jack answered. He kissed her passionately as he started to thrust in and out of her. He wanted to give her as much pleasure as possible, so he moved slowly. Kissing her cheeks and lips gently, he reached down and fondled her breast, running his thumb over the nipple.
"Oooh Jackie," Karen said, running her fingertips through his hair and gently rubbing his scalp. "You, you can go fast if you want to."
"No," Jack whispered. After about forty minutes or so, he spoke again, "Open you're eyes Kare. Look at me."
Karen immediately looked up at Jack and she arched her body up to him and started to cry out in a state of euphoria. "Oh Jackie... yess... JACKIE!" she screamed as she climaxed around him.
"Ugh you're so g-gorgeous Kare," Jack said as he felt his own orgasm starting a second later. He thrust into her one last time and then climaxed deep inside of her. "God... oh my god... KARE, KARE!"
As they both were recovering, Karen reached down and then titled Jack's face up. "Thank you so much for comforting me honey," she said, brushing his damp hair off of his forehead.
"I love you Kare," Jack said emotionally.
"I love you," Karen said back immediately.
Jack smiled and then brought his lips to Karen's, kissing her deeply. He then got off of her and lay down on the mattress. He pulled her close to him and then ran his fingers through her hair.
"Good night Jackie," Karen said, getting as close to his body as she could. She sighed with contentment and then closed her eyes.
"Sweet dreams my beautiful Karebear," Jack whispered, kissing her temple.
Karen looked up at him, a large smile on her face. She put her hand on the back of his head and then kissed him passionately.
"Night," Jack said when they pulled apart. He smiled as Karen returned to her position she had been in before and then closed his own eyes, the smile staying on his face.