A.N. - Yes, I'm willing to admit that the last chapter was mainly filler, but this isn't. :]

A.N.2 - The bold print is meant to be entries, groups of italics mean flashbackish things.

Also, I was going to start posting the rewrite with this chapter, but, after rereading the rewrite, have decided to again edit it. So, it will be up once I get *my* computer back and can really work with it... which should be soon. I was going to add more to this chapter but I couldn't really think of anything else to write. Nothing seemed fitting.

- Chapter Eighteen -

There's so much, Buffy thought as she worked. She was sitting on the floor of Liz's living room, packing the books her friend would never get the opportunity to read again. She sighed as she traced the cover of the book she had given Liz for her last birthday. Liz's birthday was two days before Passover began, so, naturally, Buffy had given her a book about a Jewish bunny as a gag gift. Unfortunately, the plan had backfired when Liz had liked the gag gift more than the real one.

"Aw!" Liz had blurted out when she'd seen the cover, "That's got to be the cutest thing ever!"

"The cutest thing ever that's not your real present!" Buffy had laughed before producing the red cashmere sweater that had originally been intended for Faith until she realized that Faith would never wear it.

Liz had taken it and stared at the two gifts thoughtfully before meeting Buffy's eyes. "Thanks," she weakly offered.

"That's it? Do you know how much that cost? Please, don't tell me you like the children's book more!" Buffy gawked at her incredulously.

Liz had simply smiled and reached for Faith's gift.

Buffy carefully placed the book in the box before turning her attention back to the bookcase. A small, black journal fell from the shelf and she frowned as she picked it up. She walked over to the leather armchair and arranged herself into a comfortable position before opening the cover.

February 3rd, 2000

Well, today's certainly been interesting. It's my first day of being "Liz - Super Spy!" I feel a little guilty about lying to Buffy and everyone like this, but it's part of his plan. Plus, I kind of feel like a double agent and it's a pretty cool feeling.

Buffy randomly flipped through over half the pages.

March 18th, 2003

Angelus is starting to worry that they'll find me out more than I am. He's the one that told me that there was nothing to worry about. Now, I guess it's my turn to tell him.

Angelus?

She frowned and tried to remember what it was that was nagging her from the back of her mind. Angelus? And Liz?

I was angry about something . . . But what?

She skipped over a few pages.

September 27th, 2003

Someone's been following Buffy and me.

Don't know who.

Can't tell Angelus or Buffy. - They'll worry.

There were no entries until the day Liz had been killed . . .

Riley's been following me. I'm sure he's not the one that I felt before, but that doesn't make it any less unnerving. Yesterday, I received a letter from someone that told me the end was coming soon. I didn't really know what it meant until now . . . Now, I'm afraid I understand. And, if my fears are correct, I'm sorry, Buffy. I'm sorry for lying to you and for basically telling Angelus things you told me in private. But mostly, I'm sorry for betraying your trust. I know that right now, you might not be sure of it but . . . I thought of you as a friend. And I hope you still think of me as one. Even though I don't deserve it, please give my love to the others. I hope that one day, under better circumstances, we meet again . . .

Love, Liz

Buffy shakily placed the journal on the floor beside the chair and drew her knees to her chest. She took deep breaths to regain control over the emotions that wanted to dominate her. Angelus would be back soon with more boxes.

Angelus . . .

Angelus, who had wormed his way back into her confidence . . .

Angelus, who had comforted her when they'd both lost a friend . . .

Angelus, who had used said friend to manipulate her . . .

The grief backed away slowly as the anger returned to her. Like an old friend.

She looked around and decided that she might as well put her adrenaline to work while she waited.

.:.:.:.

An hour later, Angelus strolled in carrying an armload of cardboard and a new roll of masking tape. Once he closed the door, he noticed how bare the living room looked. "Buffy?" He called.

"Back here!" She yelled.

He dropped the supplies to his feet and walked to the end of the hall to find her in the bedroom, surrounded by photo albums and loose pictures. "I thought we were going to do this last."

"Funny story, I got bored and organized everything already. Well, maybe 'funny' was the wrong word."

He studied her carefully, "You look different."

She tilted her head up to look at him. "I think it's because I'm not blinded anymore."

Something in her expression made him take an almost imperceptible step back. "What do you mean?"

She stood, "I mean, that I've finally been lifted out of this haze I've been in for far too long." She sneered, "I hated you so much and all it took was a suggestion here and there by Liz for me to change my mind. Do you really think that if it hadn't been for Liz's manipulation I would have ever let you kiss me? Or, God, touch me?" She shuddered. "But now, this freak show is over."

His eyes narrowed. " 'Freak show?' Oh, I get it, 'freak show' is slang for 'being a whore and actually giving it up with someone else.' Well, guess what Princess, this is hardly the last time we'll ever see each other! Or did you forget that you're hardly an innocent bystander in what happened to poor Riley? I could easily have your ass thrown into jail. I bet you'd get a girlfriend fairly quickly. It's not like you're hideous or anything."

He watched her anger grow and, for a moment, he wondered if steam might literally pour out of her ears. But as soon as the angry burst began, it was over and Buffy dropped back onto the bed. For a long moment, he simply stared at her slouching, defeated form in silence. "Why did you leave?" Her pitiful whisper barely reached his ears.

He ran a hand through his hair, "You know why . . . I'm sure Kate told you."

"Because you didn't like us anymore?" She stared at the floor.

"Is that what she told you? No! It wasn't like that, I . . . I couldn't stand her. I wanted to leave before then, but I stayed because of you. You're practically the center of the universe, you know." A ghost of a smile crossed his lips.

"I trusted you," she continued, her voice shaking.

He tried to think of a way to respond to that but found nothing and chose to, instead, look at the floor uncomfortably.

"We should finish this now," she stood and walked out of the room, leaving him by himself.

.:.:.:.

Yep, that's it. Special thanks to Jess, Tariq, Britt, and Will_ow2002 - [ You lyin' biatch! That was hardly a flame!. ;p]