A/N: This chapter was written by Starlight Quilltwiner, Celtic Goddess of
Twilight, and Crystal Roses.
DISCLAIMER:
Starlight: I am not J.K.Rowling, merely a fan of the Harry Potter series. If I were J.K.Rowling, I would use the money to give the Humane Society $1,000,000 and buy myself an art studio. And, obviously, I am not Tolkien. If I was Tolkien, I would.... SCREAM OF JOY!!!
~~~
Starlight: *Lies on bed, listening to Diana sing*
Diana: OO-SHA-LA-LA-OO-OO-SHA-LA-LA-LA...
Starlight: Diana, do you now any other words?
Diana: I CAN SING!!!
Starlight: Yes, I know but-
Diana: OO-SHA-LA-LA-OO-OO-SHA-LA-LA-LA...
Starlight: *Runs out of the room* *Returns two minutes later with duct tape*
Diana: *Walks up to duct tape* Duct tape is my friend!
Starlight: Diana, what I am about to do is something that seems to be a tradition with this generation in our family. Sangeeta did it to me twice, and once to you, now I shall do it to you.
Diana: WHAT, WHAT, WHAT???
Starlight: TIE YOU UP AND STICK YOU IN A CLOSET!!!
Diana: *Laughs* OKAY! THIS SOUNDS LIKE FUN!!!
Starlight: *Shakes head in pity* *Ties Diana up, sticks her in a closet, and flops onto bed* WHY IS THERE NEVER ANYTHING TO DO AROUND HERE???? *Picks up fifth Harry Potter book* *Smiles devilishly* BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Meanwhile, in Harry Potter's bedroom...
Harry: *Pacing around the room*
Starlight: *Pops out of nowhere* BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! THE QUEEN OF SQUIRRELS SHALL RULE ALL!
Harry: WHAT THE HE-?
Starlight: *Bops Harry on the head with Twilight's imaginary wok* Now, Harry! Watch your language! Think of all the youngsters who look up to you!
Harry: Who the he-?
Starlight: THAT MEANS DON'T CURSE! *Roars*
Alex: *Pops up* HEY! THAT'S MY ROAR! *Hisses*
Starlight: *Stuffs Alex in a cardboard box, and throws the box out of the window* I've been dying to do that for ages!
Harry: WHO THE...*Remembering the wok*...HECK ARE YOU?
Starlight: I am the one of the authors of this story! My sole purpose is to embarrass you in front of everyone!
Harry: ONE of the authors? *Faints, and falls onto a beanbag with Luna- Lovegood-patterned cloth*
Twilight: *Mysteriously pops up and takes back her wok* Hi, Starlight!
Starlight: YO! Wanna help me take half the characters from LOTR and put them in our time?
Twilight: Why don't we put Harry in Middle Earth?
Starlight: *Evil smile* Oh, no...it will be MUCH more entertaining watching Aragorn trying to learn how to use a microwave. ^-^
Twilight: -_-'
Starlight: LET'S GO!
*Few minutes later*
Starlight: WWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Twilight: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHERE THE HECK ARE WE?
Starlight: We're in Middle Earth! I think...I hope...ANYWAY, where is the Fellowship? Hmm...*Starts thinking*
Twilight: *Picks up magnet off ground* Hey, what's this? *Squints and reads* Fellowship of the Ring Superstrength Magnet?
Starlight: Do you hear that?
Twilight: Hear what?
*Screaming in the distance, sound of dragging feet*
Gimli: CURSE THAT BLASTED MAGNET!!!
*Two seconds later*
*Thump, thoof*
*Legolas and Aragorn get pulled towards magnet*
Twilight: Is this all?
Starlight: For now.... ^-^ BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Legolas: *Fits arrow in bow* Release us!
Starlight: Watch it! I'M ONE OF THE AUTHORESSES HERE! *Evil glare that somehow makes that bow stop working* o.O
Twilight: *Glomps Legolas* I have a neighbor who says you're hot!
Legolas: O_O Okay.
Starlight: *GASP!* YOU SAID OKAY! YOU DON'T SAY OKAY! YOU SAY ALL RIGHT! ELVES DON'T SAY OKAY!
Everyone but Starlight: -_-'
Starlight: *GASP!* PEOPLE FROM MIDDLE EARTH DON'T HAVE ANIME TEARDROPS! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Crystal: *Pops up out of nowhere* IT'S AN ANIME SWEATDROP, ONNA NO KO NO BAKA!
Starlight: Whateva...*Pushes Crystal away*
Twilight: So, what should we do?
Starlight: LET'S GO THEN! *Puts a collar on Legolas and Aragorn, smirks, grabs Gimli* WE'RE OUTTA HERE!
*Back in Harry's bedroom*
Harry: *Just woke up* That was a strange dre-BLOODY-
Starlight: *Steals imaginary wok, bangs him on the head* *In mocking, sugarcoated voice* Remember the children, Harry!
Harry: *Glares*
Starlight: *Evil squirrel laugh that no one else can copy or they shall die*
Everyone else, even Hedwig: O.o
Legolas: "Mistress", may I take this...foul collar off my neck?
Starlight: *Throws knife that somehow amazingly cuts through both collars without beheading Legolas and Aragorn*
Aragorn: Where are we?
Starlight: Earth, in the year of 2004!
Aragorn: *Silently stares in wonder*
Legolas: *Takes out knife* Take us back to Mid-
Starlight: Oy, Elf boy! I know the Wielder of the Almighty Duct Tape. Don't mess with us. *Evil squirrel stare*
Crystal: *Walks back in wearing an "I Love Jin" shirt* YAY FOR ANARCHY! *Cough* Yeah...-.-
Twilight: *Takes wok back* STOP STEALING MY WOK! I need to make omelette.
Everyone except Twilight: -_-'
Starlight: AAAAAAAH! THERE YOU GO AGAIN WITH THE ANIME SWEATDROPS! *Grabs Gimli* Don't worry, midget, I will protect you.
Gimli: MIDGET?! *Starts swinging ax but cannot hit Starlight because she's behind him*
Crystal: Right. Anyway, the stupidity/anarchy is not complete without Yusuke. And Jin. 'Cause I say so. xD
Harry: Who the he-?
Crystal: Oh shut up. It's getting old.
Harry: ( Grr.
Crystal: *Turns to Legolas* *Glaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare* o.O
Legolas: O_O
Crystal: *Glaaaaaaaaare* O.o
Starlight: ...Something wrong?
Crystal: YES! LEGOLAS HAS TOO MANY FANGIRLS! *Grabs Legolas' shoulders and shakes him like mad* THEY SHOULD ALL BE JIN FANGIRLS, DARN YOU!!!!!!!
Legolas: @.@
Twilight: Onna no ko no baka, if they were, there would be too much competition!
Crystal: *Looks contemplative* Hmm...
Twilight: *Suddenly looks unnaturally happy* Come on peoples, let's torture the characters! =D
Crystal/Starlight: =D
Crystal: *Summons Yusuke 'cause he's fun to torture* ^________^
Yusuke: -_-' Great. Another psycho idiot has transported me to a random fanfic.
Crystal: Yup. ^-^;;
Yusuke: This sucks.
Crystal: O.O Shh, shh! My mom will get mad at me!
Yusuke: Sucks for you. -_-'
Crystal: -_- *Thwack*
Yusuke: Itai...@.@
Legolas/Aragorn: *VERRRYYY confused* o.O
Twilight: *Smiles that Crystal is occupied with Yusuke and summons Jin* Yay Jin!
Crystal: *Jin tracking device goes off* *Grabs Jin's right arm and starts pulling him away*
Twilight: *Grabs Jin's left arm* He's mine, I say!
Twilight/Crystal: *Start playing tug of war*
Jin: OW!
Starlight: I CALL DIBS ON TORTURING KUWABARA!
Legolas: And why, may I ask, are you torturing these men?
Starlight: CURSE YOU, DON'T ASK QUESTIONS!
Aragorn: Stop at once!
Starlight: Why?
Aragorn: Do you question King of Gondor, girl?
Starlight: Yes, I do.
Aragorn: How dare you?!
Twilight: Wheeeeeee! *Jumps behind Aragorn and pulls down his ears*
Starlight: *Shakes head* I'm going to torture Harry....
Harry: Shoot. I thought you forgot I was here.
Starlight: Keep on dreamin', hun.
Twilight: Did she just call him hun? O.o
Crystal: Yeah. Scaryyy. *Shivers* Anyway, I call dibs on Jin.
Jin: Please spare me! O.O
Crystal: Not to torture you! If anyone touches you, they die. *Hisssssss*
Twilight: I didn't know you were a snake, Crystal.
Starlight: *Stops time for everyone except for the real people* We need a plot.
Twilight: Plot?
Starlight: Story plot, baka ningen.
Twilight: Bingo, bingo, you win the prize. I am an onna no ko no baka!
Starlight: Twilight, you have my pity.
DISCLAIMER:
Starlight: I am not J.K.Rowling, merely a fan of the Harry Potter series. If I were J.K.Rowling, I would use the money to give the Humane Society $1,000,000 and buy myself an art studio. And, obviously, I am not Tolkien. If I was Tolkien, I would.... SCREAM OF JOY!!!
~~~
Starlight: *Lies on bed, listening to Diana sing*
Diana: OO-SHA-LA-LA-OO-OO-SHA-LA-LA-LA...
Starlight: Diana, do you now any other words?
Diana: I CAN SING!!!
Starlight: Yes, I know but-
Diana: OO-SHA-LA-LA-OO-OO-SHA-LA-LA-LA...
Starlight: *Runs out of the room* *Returns two minutes later with duct tape*
Diana: *Walks up to duct tape* Duct tape is my friend!
Starlight: Diana, what I am about to do is something that seems to be a tradition with this generation in our family. Sangeeta did it to me twice, and once to you, now I shall do it to you.
Diana: WHAT, WHAT, WHAT???
Starlight: TIE YOU UP AND STICK YOU IN A CLOSET!!!
Diana: *Laughs* OKAY! THIS SOUNDS LIKE FUN!!!
Starlight: *Shakes head in pity* *Ties Diana up, sticks her in a closet, and flops onto bed* WHY IS THERE NEVER ANYTHING TO DO AROUND HERE???? *Picks up fifth Harry Potter book* *Smiles devilishly* BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Meanwhile, in Harry Potter's bedroom...
Harry: *Pacing around the room*
Starlight: *Pops out of nowhere* BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! THE QUEEN OF SQUIRRELS SHALL RULE ALL!
Harry: WHAT THE HE-?
Starlight: *Bops Harry on the head with Twilight's imaginary wok* Now, Harry! Watch your language! Think of all the youngsters who look up to you!
Harry: Who the he-?
Starlight: THAT MEANS DON'T CURSE! *Roars*
Alex: *Pops up* HEY! THAT'S MY ROAR! *Hisses*
Starlight: *Stuffs Alex in a cardboard box, and throws the box out of the window* I've been dying to do that for ages!
Harry: WHO THE...*Remembering the wok*...HECK ARE YOU?
Starlight: I am the one of the authors of this story! My sole purpose is to embarrass you in front of everyone!
Harry: ONE of the authors? *Faints, and falls onto a beanbag with Luna- Lovegood-patterned cloth*
Twilight: *Mysteriously pops up and takes back her wok* Hi, Starlight!
Starlight: YO! Wanna help me take half the characters from LOTR and put them in our time?
Twilight: Why don't we put Harry in Middle Earth?
Starlight: *Evil smile* Oh, no...it will be MUCH more entertaining watching Aragorn trying to learn how to use a microwave. ^-^
Twilight: -_-'
Starlight: LET'S GO!
*Few minutes later*
Starlight: WWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Twilight: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHERE THE HECK ARE WE?
Starlight: We're in Middle Earth! I think...I hope...ANYWAY, where is the Fellowship? Hmm...*Starts thinking*
Twilight: *Picks up magnet off ground* Hey, what's this? *Squints and reads* Fellowship of the Ring Superstrength Magnet?
Starlight: Do you hear that?
Twilight: Hear what?
*Screaming in the distance, sound of dragging feet*
Gimli: CURSE THAT BLASTED MAGNET!!!
*Two seconds later*
*Thump, thoof*
*Legolas and Aragorn get pulled towards magnet*
Twilight: Is this all?
Starlight: For now.... ^-^ BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Legolas: *Fits arrow in bow* Release us!
Starlight: Watch it! I'M ONE OF THE AUTHORESSES HERE! *Evil glare that somehow makes that bow stop working* o.O
Twilight: *Glomps Legolas* I have a neighbor who says you're hot!
Legolas: O_O Okay.
Starlight: *GASP!* YOU SAID OKAY! YOU DON'T SAY OKAY! YOU SAY ALL RIGHT! ELVES DON'T SAY OKAY!
Everyone but Starlight: -_-'
Starlight: *GASP!* PEOPLE FROM MIDDLE EARTH DON'T HAVE ANIME TEARDROPS! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Crystal: *Pops up out of nowhere* IT'S AN ANIME SWEATDROP, ONNA NO KO NO BAKA!
Starlight: Whateva...*Pushes Crystal away*
Twilight: So, what should we do?
Starlight: LET'S GO THEN! *Puts a collar on Legolas and Aragorn, smirks, grabs Gimli* WE'RE OUTTA HERE!
*Back in Harry's bedroom*
Harry: *Just woke up* That was a strange dre-BLOODY-
Starlight: *Steals imaginary wok, bangs him on the head* *In mocking, sugarcoated voice* Remember the children, Harry!
Harry: *Glares*
Starlight: *Evil squirrel laugh that no one else can copy or they shall die*
Everyone else, even Hedwig: O.o
Legolas: "Mistress", may I take this...foul collar off my neck?
Starlight: *Throws knife that somehow amazingly cuts through both collars without beheading Legolas and Aragorn*
Aragorn: Where are we?
Starlight: Earth, in the year of 2004!
Aragorn: *Silently stares in wonder*
Legolas: *Takes out knife* Take us back to Mid-
Starlight: Oy, Elf boy! I know the Wielder of the Almighty Duct Tape. Don't mess with us. *Evil squirrel stare*
Crystal: *Walks back in wearing an "I Love Jin" shirt* YAY FOR ANARCHY! *Cough* Yeah...-.-
Twilight: *Takes wok back* STOP STEALING MY WOK! I need to make omelette.
Everyone except Twilight: -_-'
Starlight: AAAAAAAH! THERE YOU GO AGAIN WITH THE ANIME SWEATDROPS! *Grabs Gimli* Don't worry, midget, I will protect you.
Gimli: MIDGET?! *Starts swinging ax but cannot hit Starlight because she's behind him*
Crystal: Right. Anyway, the stupidity/anarchy is not complete without Yusuke. And Jin. 'Cause I say so. xD
Harry: Who the he-?
Crystal: Oh shut up. It's getting old.
Harry: ( Grr.
Crystal: *Turns to Legolas* *Glaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare* o.O
Legolas: O_O
Crystal: *Glaaaaaaaaare* O.o
Starlight: ...Something wrong?
Crystal: YES! LEGOLAS HAS TOO MANY FANGIRLS! *Grabs Legolas' shoulders and shakes him like mad* THEY SHOULD ALL BE JIN FANGIRLS, DARN YOU!!!!!!!
Legolas: @.@
Twilight: Onna no ko no baka, if they were, there would be too much competition!
Crystal: *Looks contemplative* Hmm...
Twilight: *Suddenly looks unnaturally happy* Come on peoples, let's torture the characters! =D
Crystal/Starlight: =D
Crystal: *Summons Yusuke 'cause he's fun to torture* ^________^
Yusuke: -_-' Great. Another psycho idiot has transported me to a random fanfic.
Crystal: Yup. ^-^;;
Yusuke: This sucks.
Crystal: O.O Shh, shh! My mom will get mad at me!
Yusuke: Sucks for you. -_-'
Crystal: -_- *Thwack*
Yusuke: Itai...@.@
Legolas/Aragorn: *VERRRYYY confused* o.O
Twilight: *Smiles that Crystal is occupied with Yusuke and summons Jin* Yay Jin!
Crystal: *Jin tracking device goes off* *Grabs Jin's right arm and starts pulling him away*
Twilight: *Grabs Jin's left arm* He's mine, I say!
Twilight/Crystal: *Start playing tug of war*
Jin: OW!
Starlight: I CALL DIBS ON TORTURING KUWABARA!
Legolas: And why, may I ask, are you torturing these men?
Starlight: CURSE YOU, DON'T ASK QUESTIONS!
Aragorn: Stop at once!
Starlight: Why?
Aragorn: Do you question King of Gondor, girl?
Starlight: Yes, I do.
Aragorn: How dare you?!
Twilight: Wheeeeeee! *Jumps behind Aragorn and pulls down his ears*
Starlight: *Shakes head* I'm going to torture Harry....
Harry: Shoot. I thought you forgot I was here.
Starlight: Keep on dreamin', hun.
Twilight: Did she just call him hun? O.o
Crystal: Yeah. Scaryyy. *Shivers* Anyway, I call dibs on Jin.
Jin: Please spare me! O.O
Crystal: Not to torture you! If anyone touches you, they die. *Hisssssss*
Twilight: I didn't know you were a snake, Crystal.
Starlight: *Stops time for everyone except for the real people* We need a plot.
Twilight: Plot?
Starlight: Story plot, baka ningen.
Twilight: Bingo, bingo, you win the prize. I am an onna no ko no baka!
Starlight: Twilight, you have my pity.