A/N: This chapter was written by Crystal Roses, Celtic Goddess of Twilight,
Starlight Quilltwiner, and Mystic Tears.
DISCLAIMER:
Crystal: We own nothing but our minds. And we lost those long ago. *Shakes head sadly*
~~~
Crystal: *Floating around the ceiling with Jin* You and I have a lot in common.
Jin: *Raises an eyebrow* Ey?
Crystal: Yup. I'm Irish too.
Twilight: WHO CARES?
Crystal: ME! *Hissssss*
Twilight: -_- Snake...
Crystal: I'm probably the only other Irish person here.
Twilight: Anti-bingo, anti-bingo, you lost the prize! I am part Irish! MUAHAHAHA!
Crystal:NOOOOOOOO! Oh well, I'm much more Irish than you. =D And I am the Wind Elemental. HA! BEAT THAT, BAKA!
Twilight: -_- I hate you. *Runs away to plot Crystal's destruction*
Hermione: *Walks in, her nose in a book* Harry, you didn't do your...*Looks up* o.O Who are all these people?
Crystal: *Floats around, following Jin*
Jin: *Looks slightly disturbed* Why are you following me?
Crystal: 'Cause I'm a rabid fangirl.
Twilight: HA! I have a solution! *Somehow floats up to Crystal* You're not supposed to talk about that, and I have something even better than that!
Crystal: Yeah, what?
Twilight: =D *Brings imaginary wok down on Crystal's head*
Crystal: *Floats to the floor like a leaf (in circles and stuff)* *Revives self* Grr. The evil fuzzy bunnies possessed me again...*Mutters curses under breath* *Looks up at a VERY disturbed Jin and blushes like mad* I didn't mean what I said! I mean I said what I mean, but...
Jin: Er...forget about it. ^-^;;
Crystal: ^-^;;
Hermoine: -_-' No one answered me.
Harry: That's because I don't know...exactly...o.O
Alex: Time for an anti-depressant! Even though I don't need one 'cause I'm high on caffeine. o.O *Secretly pulls out Happy Rock*
Crystal: *Happy Rock tracking device goes off* HAPPY ROCK!!
Alex: @.@ Darn you...
Everyone but the real life people: Um...?
Crystal: It's the Happy Rock. It makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. You can't believe it 'till you try it! It's addictive too.
Everyone else: o.O Er...
Twilight: *Grabs happy rock*I feel...peculiar all over...I'm...HAPPY!!
Everyone else: *Follows suit*
Twilight: Just to see what would happen...
Hiei: *Poofs out of nowhere* -BLEEP-?!
Twilight: *Stuffs happy rock into his hand*
Hiei: NOOOOO! Stop it! No! I'm...happy! WHEEEEEEEEEE! *Starts running around with his super speed*
Twilight: Maybe I shouldn't have let him have the happy rock.
Starlight: O.o whatever. I have my own happy rock. Actually, I have a whole bowl of them!
Crystal: NUH-UH! THEY'RE IMPOSTERS!
Starlight: You think that...anyways. Let's take these guys to Hogwarts.
Harry: Erm, we ARE at Hogwarts.
Starlight: O.o I KNEW THAT! I WAS JUST...TESTING YOU! Anyway, time for classy!
Harry: But we don't have another class for twenty minutes!
Starlight: *Bops Harry with imaginary wok*
Twilight: STOP STEALING MY WOK! MY WOK! ALL MINE! Besides, I want an omelet!
Starlight: Great for you. Now, Harry, you don't want to be late for class!
Aragorn: And what of us?
Starlight: XD Oh, you're coming too. I enrolled you in Hogwarts! You're sixteen now. *Looks at Legolas, starts to roll on the floor laughing*
Legolas: What?!
Twilight: *Starts making an omelet that smells reeeeeeeeeeeeally appetizing...somehow*
Youko Kurama: *Silently steals the omelet and disappears*
Twilight: Lalalalala...*Looks at her wok* O_O! AH! MY YUMMY OMELETTE IS GONE!
Crystal/Alex: *Patpat*
Twilight: -_- Go away.
Alex: *Hits Sheila on the head, makes her hair all greasy feeling and stuff*
Sheila: STOP IT!
Alex: YEESH! *Hits Sheila's eye with plastic baseball bat*
Sheila: STOP IT!
Alex: YEEEEESH! YOU'RE SO WEIRRRRRRRRRRRRD!
Crystal: AND YOU STOLE MY PENNAME!
Starlight: DID NOT!
Crystal: DID TOO!
Starlight: *Shakes head* Think what you must...
Crystal: *Goes off muttering a bunch of weird things*
Lexie: OOOOOOH! Hermione, I need your help. I need a...oh, never mind! *Closes eyes and a wand pops into her hand* HEY OVER HERE, PROFESSOR SNAPE!
Snape: Tsk, tsk, twenty points from Gryffindor for all this *Gets bopped on head by Lexie, who created a big mallet*
Lexie: BEWARE MY WRATH, SNAPE! YOU ARE OFFICIALLY THE NEXT VICTIM OF THE EVIL SHEEP OF DOOM!!!*pulls out sheep medalion*
Snape: Spare me, spare me, kind and fair Lexie, ruler of all the world! A hundred points to Gryffindor for having you in their house! *Grovels at Lexie's feet*
Starlight: Ooooh, I want to kill Snape, too!
Lexie: NOPE! He's taken! I will now inflict on him all forms of medieval torture. HEhehe! *Rubs hands slyly* Or, better yet, I CALL DIBS ON FILCH!!
Filch: It's the girl with the sheep that ate Mrs. Norris! DIE, GIRLY, DIE!
Lexie: *Headbutts Filch* Take a hundred points from Slytherin! *Headbutts Snape, and examines his hair* Snape, you need to shower more often...
Filch: I take a hundred points from Slytherin for not groveling at your feet! *Grovels at Lexie's feet*
Lexie: Oooooh, Hermione, isn't this fun!! And here comes...Little Bunny Foo Foo!
Everyone: Little Bunny Foo Foo???
Lexie: *Hovering in air* Yes. Little Bunny Foo Foo! C'mere! And now...*Turns Snape and Filch into meecy mice*
Little Bunny Foo Foo: Little bitty mee--ee, hoppin' through the for--oh, look, meecy mice! *Bops them on head, and knocks them out* That was fun!
Starlight: I call dibs on...
Lexie: I get Voldemort!!!
Starlight: Hey, no you...*Lexie hold up evil sheep of doom menacingly* Okay, do whatever you want!!
Lexie: Okay!! Here's two people, Cho...*Cho appears behind Harry* And Voldemort! But, first, he'll have to come with no wand! *Voldemort pops up in front of them*
Harry: Voldemort! Get behind me, Cho!
Cho: Oh, Harry, My hero! *SMOOCH*
Harry: *Faints*
Lexie: Phooey. I wanted Harry. Oh, well! RIDIKULUS! *casts spell at Voldemort*
Voldemort: *In tutu and pink leotard, with pink pinty had and makeup* We represent the Lullaby League, the Lullaby League, the Lullaby League. And in the name of the Lullaby Leeaague, we wish to welcome you to munchkin land! *Pirouettes, and bows*
Lexie: *Winces* Okay, now that is scarier than before! Do it again! *Grabs remote and rewinds, and watches fifty times before Harry wakes up*
Harry: What the he--*Eyes wok suspiciously, which is now full of omelettes* heck...AAH! *Sees Voldemort and Barfs*
Lexie: Cho, lick that up! *Cho cleans up the puke* Now, Harry...*Looks at Harry and grins*
Harry: Help!!! *Suddenly is also wearing a pink tutu and leotard, and is dancing with Voldemort*
Lexie: *Giggles madly* Legolas, Aragorn, Jin, Hiei, Gimli, Yusuke, all the guys in this room, I now declare you all officially GAY! *All are magically wearing pink tutus, leotards, and makeup, and start doing the cancan*
Crystal/Twilight: JIIIIN!
Cho/Hermione: HAARRRYYYY!
Starlight: OKAY, ENOUGH WITH THE ANARCHY!! LEXIE, GO AWAY!!!
Lexie: *Flicks wand and everyone is wearing Hogwarts robes, the teachers are back in place, and all the anime people are back in the other fanfictions* Okay, now, it's time for Herbology!
Legolas: Here's a few questions:
1) Why was I wearing a tutu and leotard?
2) What precisely is a wok?
3) Who is the person who called me gay?
4) Who is Little Bunny Foo Foo?
5) Can I kill Lexie?
6) Where's the toliet?
Lexie: Stupid idiot!! You're a fictional character! Fictional characters never have to go potty! Also, I would imagine that since you're an elf, you just go behind the nearest bit of vegetation! As to the other questions...
1) You were wearing a tutu and leotard for my entertainment.
2) A wok is a big, heavy oriental frying pan that hurts, like so. *Hits legolas on the head with the wok, and now the ommelette is all over him*
3) Me!!
4) Little Bunny Foo Foo is my boyfriend, and don't you dare dis him!!!
5) No! Well, you can try!
Legolas: *Shoots arrow at Lexie*
Lexie: *Turns the arrow into a feather and tickles Legolas until her kisses her feet*
Legolas: DISGUSTING!! *Rinses mouth* Ooh, Listerine! *Throws dagger*
Lexie: GIVE ME THE LISTERINE!!! *Grabs dagger and cuts Legolas's hair*
Legolas: MY HAIR!! WAAAHHHH!! *Cries like a baby*
Lexie:*Blows a raspberry* I hate everyone here! AT least all the fictional characters! We need some romance! Foo Foo! *Starts making out with Little Bunny Foo Foo* Ohh, I love this fanfiction!
Legolas: That's not right. Save the giant pink rabbit from the insane girl! *Pulls away Foo Foo* *Gets bopped on the head* It's still not right!
Harry: Let's join them, Cho!
Cho: Let's not, baka ningen!! *Grabs the wok and bangs Harry on the head* *Disappears from the fanfic*
Harry: *Looks at Hermione and raises eyebrows twice*
Hermione: No way! RON! HARRY'S ABOUT TO MAKE A MOVE ON ME!!
Ron: HARRY!! *Swings in on vine and kills Harry*
Lexie: Okay, Foo Foo! I want to go kill people! *Kills everyone in the fanfic* This is boring. Let's start over again! This time, more ANARCHY!!
Starlight: Okay! Let's take these guys to Defense Against the Dark Arts!
Harry: Okay...
Ron: BLOODY...
Starlight: *Grabs wok and hits Ron on the head*
Ron: OUCH! What was that for?
Starlight: Oh, never mind, Crystal would kill me if I said what...anywho, let's go! And Harry, you're supposed to be dead!
Ron: *Mumbles* That's what I was gonna say...
Legolas: What is this class you speak of?
Starlight: *Winces* Ugh...I needa fix your hair...*Death glare at Lexie*
Lexie: *Brings out the Evil Sheep of Doom*
Starlight: *Brings out the Evil Strawberry Squirrel*
Lexie: FEAR MY WRATH, SQUIRREL!
Squirrel: *Squeaks in attempt to laugh*
Clair: *Shakes her head in pity* Squirrels these days...a disgrace...
Starlight: RAWR! LET'S GET TO CLASS! Oh, and...uh...*Waves wand that makes Legolas's hair back to normal* That's MUCH better...though I DO wonder what he looks like with neon pink hair...
Lexie: BWAHAHAHAHA...Queen of Squirrels, thou has given the Evil Sheep of Doom an idea!
Starlight: *Mock scared voice* Oh-no-please-help...Oh shoot, you mean Legolas's hair, don't you?
Lexie: *Gives the Evil Sheep of Doom stare*
Starlight: *Grins* I gotta get my camera...anyway, LETSGOBEFOREANYONESAYSANOTHERWORD!!!!
~~~Later in class~~~
Harry: I wonder who our teacher is this time...
Ron: Are you a ghost?
Harry: O.o No. That Lexie twit brought me back to life, remember?
Big, booming voice that comes outta nowhere: HELLO, STUDENTS!!!
Students: O.o
Big, Booming Voice: ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF...
Ron: Where have I heard that before?
Hermione/Harry/Ron: *Smirk*
Starlight: *Steps outta nowhere* ME!!!
Harry/Ron: O.o MEEEEEP!
Starlight: Ten points off of Gryffindor for Harry and Ron saying "Meep"! STORY CHARACERS DON'T SAY "MEEP"!
Harry/Ron: O.o
Starlight: NEITHER DO THEY MAKE O.o EYES!!!
Harry/Ron: *Hide under table*
Starlight: On with the class, allow me to introduce three new students!
*Legolas, Gimli, and Aragorn are suddenly standing in the middle of the classroom*
Gimli: Look here, lass! Return us to the land to which we belong! My axe shall be willing to strike if-
Starlight: LET'S HAVE THEM INTRODUCE THEMSELVES, AND THEN SAY THEIR FAVORITE BALLET!
Gimli: Gimli, son of Gloin, at your service. *Bows* What is this ballet you speak of?
Starlight: Wow! I've never heard of that one before! Let's hear from the ditzy blonde, next!
Legolas: I am Legolas, son of Thandruil. As for this ballet, I know nothing of it...
Starlight: Wow! I've never heard of that one either, but it must be great!
Aragorn: I, Aragorn, King of Gondor, demand you to tell us what this "ballet" is!
Starlight: Oh, gosh, there are so many ballets I haven't seen! But I'm pretty sure they aren't in Ballet Weekly...*Checks "Ballet Weekly" magazine*
Pansy Parkinson: I will show you what ballet is! *Bats eyelashes at Legolas* *Giggles a REALLY girly giggle* *Dances like an overweight elephant*
Starlight: Twenty points off of Slytherin!
Slytherins: WHAT?!?!
Pansy: What? But...why?
Starlight: For you, my...dear...*Shudders* You are putting us all in danger of becoming blind!
Pansy: No I'm not!!!
Starlight: Yes, you are! You danced, therefore made us all nearly blind! For raising your voice at the teacher, I shall schedule you in for detention, where you shall clean ALL of my shoes. USING ELBOW GREASE!!!
Pansy: But...that's not fair! I bet you're just saying that...because...because...YOU'RE A FASHION FREAK!
Starlight: *Laughs* Oh no, of course not! I'm doing it to see what you smell like after HOURS cleaning shoes...O.o *Gets out noseplug*
*Yusuke, Jin, and Hiei reappear*
Hiei: *Growls and grabs his katana* I REFUSE TO DRESS LIKE A NINGEN GIRL!
Twilight: *Randomly...is there* Shaddup. You're not a major character in this fic.
Hiei: O_O! WHAT? *Slashes Twilight*
Crystal: *Is also randomly there* She's right, Hiei. Sheila and Lexie would have a fit. Especially Lexie. *Imagines Lexie burning hundreds of pounds of manga* Yup, that's about what she'd do. *Suddenly leaves the room*
Harry: Where'd she go?
Starlighter: Who cares? Just shaddup and pay attention. Anyway, class, today we will be learning how to defend ourselves against the Evil Sheep of Doom!
Lexie: *Pops up outta nowhere* There is no way to defend yourself against the Evil Sheep of Doom!
Starlight: *Bends down and whispers in Lexie's ear*
Lexie: OOOOOOOOOH...*Eyes Malfoy, smirking* OKAY!
Starlight: OKAY, let's get started! Who would like to volunteer to go first?
Malfoy: *Whispers* What kind of a ditzy teacher is thi-
Starlight: Alright! Malfoy, isn't it? We have a volunteer! Come on up, Dracie Poo!
Malfoy: HOW DARE YOU!!! *Charges towards Starlight*
Evil Sheep of doom: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! *Headbutts Malfoy*
Malfoy: That sheep looks familiar...*Faints*
Pansy: So, how do we defend ourselves against that thing?
Starlight: You have to learn by yourselves, Pansy! Can anyone tell me why?
Hermione: *Hand shoots up*
Starlight: Yes, Mrs. Granger?
Hermione: So we have...erm...experience in a sudden attack by a creature we have never seen before, and this creature-who-must-not-be-named is a way to teach us how to suddenly defend ourselves?
Starlight: *tilts head* Erm...too long and too complicated for me to understand, so...
Slytherins: *Sniggering* *Whispering* GASP! Hermione got a question wrong!
Starlight: So, since your answer is so complicated the TEACHER could not understand it, twenty points to Gryffindor, and Gryffindors may leave class now!
Slytherins: O.O
Legolas: And what of us?
Starlight: You guys stay and help the Slytherins fight the Evil Sheep of Doom. Bye, class! Be sure to leave on time!
Everyone still in class: *Curses at teacher who's name they do not yet know*
Crystal: *Appears outta nowhere* BUT WHAT ABOUT HIEI, JIN, AND YUSUKE?
Starlight: *Smiles wickedly* Jin and Yusuke, stay behind, Hiei is dismissed.
Crystal/Jin/Yusuke: O.O NOT FAIR!!!
Starlight: Tough.
Hiei: Hmph. Fools. *Disappears*
Crystal: *Disappears as well*
Yusuke: I hate you. -.-
Starlight: That's nice.
Crystal: *Reappears, burning thousands of dictionaries*
Lexie: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Hikaru: *Appears out of nowhere* I WANNA SEE HIKARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!
Sheila: *Shoves Hikaru in a box* Go away. This is supposed to be a HP/LOTR crossover. *Glares at Crystal*
Lexie: ...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!
DISCLAIMER:
Crystal: We own nothing but our minds. And we lost those long ago. *Shakes head sadly*
~~~
Crystal: *Floating around the ceiling with Jin* You and I have a lot in common.
Jin: *Raises an eyebrow* Ey?
Crystal: Yup. I'm Irish too.
Twilight: WHO CARES?
Crystal: ME! *Hissssss*
Twilight: -_- Snake...
Crystal: I'm probably the only other Irish person here.
Twilight: Anti-bingo, anti-bingo, you lost the prize! I am part Irish! MUAHAHAHA!
Crystal:NOOOOOOOO! Oh well, I'm much more Irish than you. =D And I am the Wind Elemental. HA! BEAT THAT, BAKA!
Twilight: -_- I hate you. *Runs away to plot Crystal's destruction*
Hermione: *Walks in, her nose in a book* Harry, you didn't do your...*Looks up* o.O Who are all these people?
Crystal: *Floats around, following Jin*
Jin: *Looks slightly disturbed* Why are you following me?
Crystal: 'Cause I'm a rabid fangirl.
Twilight: HA! I have a solution! *Somehow floats up to Crystal* You're not supposed to talk about that, and I have something even better than that!
Crystal: Yeah, what?
Twilight: =D *Brings imaginary wok down on Crystal's head*
Crystal: *Floats to the floor like a leaf (in circles and stuff)* *Revives self* Grr. The evil fuzzy bunnies possessed me again...*Mutters curses under breath* *Looks up at a VERY disturbed Jin and blushes like mad* I didn't mean what I said! I mean I said what I mean, but...
Jin: Er...forget about it. ^-^;;
Crystal: ^-^;;
Hermoine: -_-' No one answered me.
Harry: That's because I don't know...exactly...o.O
Alex: Time for an anti-depressant! Even though I don't need one 'cause I'm high on caffeine. o.O *Secretly pulls out Happy Rock*
Crystal: *Happy Rock tracking device goes off* HAPPY ROCK!!
Alex: @.@ Darn you...
Everyone but the real life people: Um...?
Crystal: It's the Happy Rock. It makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. You can't believe it 'till you try it! It's addictive too.
Everyone else: o.O Er...
Twilight: *Grabs happy rock*I feel...peculiar all over...I'm...HAPPY!!
Everyone else: *Follows suit*
Twilight: Just to see what would happen...
Hiei: *Poofs out of nowhere* -BLEEP-?!
Twilight: *Stuffs happy rock into his hand*
Hiei: NOOOOO! Stop it! No! I'm...happy! WHEEEEEEEEEE! *Starts running around with his super speed*
Twilight: Maybe I shouldn't have let him have the happy rock.
Starlight: O.o whatever. I have my own happy rock. Actually, I have a whole bowl of them!
Crystal: NUH-UH! THEY'RE IMPOSTERS!
Starlight: You think that...anyways. Let's take these guys to Hogwarts.
Harry: Erm, we ARE at Hogwarts.
Starlight: O.o I KNEW THAT! I WAS JUST...TESTING YOU! Anyway, time for classy!
Harry: But we don't have another class for twenty minutes!
Starlight: *Bops Harry with imaginary wok*
Twilight: STOP STEALING MY WOK! MY WOK! ALL MINE! Besides, I want an omelet!
Starlight: Great for you. Now, Harry, you don't want to be late for class!
Aragorn: And what of us?
Starlight: XD Oh, you're coming too. I enrolled you in Hogwarts! You're sixteen now. *Looks at Legolas, starts to roll on the floor laughing*
Legolas: What?!
Twilight: *Starts making an omelet that smells reeeeeeeeeeeeally appetizing...somehow*
Youko Kurama: *Silently steals the omelet and disappears*
Twilight: Lalalalala...*Looks at her wok* O_O! AH! MY YUMMY OMELETTE IS GONE!
Crystal/Alex: *Patpat*
Twilight: -_- Go away.
Alex: *Hits Sheila on the head, makes her hair all greasy feeling and stuff*
Sheila: STOP IT!
Alex: YEESH! *Hits Sheila's eye with plastic baseball bat*
Sheila: STOP IT!
Alex: YEEEEESH! YOU'RE SO WEIRRRRRRRRRRRRD!
Crystal: AND YOU STOLE MY PENNAME!
Starlight: DID NOT!
Crystal: DID TOO!
Starlight: *Shakes head* Think what you must...
Crystal: *Goes off muttering a bunch of weird things*
Lexie: OOOOOOH! Hermione, I need your help. I need a...oh, never mind! *Closes eyes and a wand pops into her hand* HEY OVER HERE, PROFESSOR SNAPE!
Snape: Tsk, tsk, twenty points from Gryffindor for all this *Gets bopped on head by Lexie, who created a big mallet*
Lexie: BEWARE MY WRATH, SNAPE! YOU ARE OFFICIALLY THE NEXT VICTIM OF THE EVIL SHEEP OF DOOM!!!*pulls out sheep medalion*
Snape: Spare me, spare me, kind and fair Lexie, ruler of all the world! A hundred points to Gryffindor for having you in their house! *Grovels at Lexie's feet*
Starlight: Ooooh, I want to kill Snape, too!
Lexie: NOPE! He's taken! I will now inflict on him all forms of medieval torture. HEhehe! *Rubs hands slyly* Or, better yet, I CALL DIBS ON FILCH!!
Filch: It's the girl with the sheep that ate Mrs. Norris! DIE, GIRLY, DIE!
Lexie: *Headbutts Filch* Take a hundred points from Slytherin! *Headbutts Snape, and examines his hair* Snape, you need to shower more often...
Filch: I take a hundred points from Slytherin for not groveling at your feet! *Grovels at Lexie's feet*
Lexie: Oooooh, Hermione, isn't this fun!! And here comes...Little Bunny Foo Foo!
Everyone: Little Bunny Foo Foo???
Lexie: *Hovering in air* Yes. Little Bunny Foo Foo! C'mere! And now...*Turns Snape and Filch into meecy mice*
Little Bunny Foo Foo: Little bitty mee--ee, hoppin' through the for--oh, look, meecy mice! *Bops them on head, and knocks them out* That was fun!
Starlight: I call dibs on...
Lexie: I get Voldemort!!!
Starlight: Hey, no you...*Lexie hold up evil sheep of doom menacingly* Okay, do whatever you want!!
Lexie: Okay!! Here's two people, Cho...*Cho appears behind Harry* And Voldemort! But, first, he'll have to come with no wand! *Voldemort pops up in front of them*
Harry: Voldemort! Get behind me, Cho!
Cho: Oh, Harry, My hero! *SMOOCH*
Harry: *Faints*
Lexie: Phooey. I wanted Harry. Oh, well! RIDIKULUS! *casts spell at Voldemort*
Voldemort: *In tutu and pink leotard, with pink pinty had and makeup* We represent the Lullaby League, the Lullaby League, the Lullaby League. And in the name of the Lullaby Leeaague, we wish to welcome you to munchkin land! *Pirouettes, and bows*
Lexie: *Winces* Okay, now that is scarier than before! Do it again! *Grabs remote and rewinds, and watches fifty times before Harry wakes up*
Harry: What the he--*Eyes wok suspiciously, which is now full of omelettes* heck...AAH! *Sees Voldemort and Barfs*
Lexie: Cho, lick that up! *Cho cleans up the puke* Now, Harry...*Looks at Harry and grins*
Harry: Help!!! *Suddenly is also wearing a pink tutu and leotard, and is dancing with Voldemort*
Lexie: *Giggles madly* Legolas, Aragorn, Jin, Hiei, Gimli, Yusuke, all the guys in this room, I now declare you all officially GAY! *All are magically wearing pink tutus, leotards, and makeup, and start doing the cancan*
Crystal/Twilight: JIIIIN!
Cho/Hermione: HAARRRYYYY!
Starlight: OKAY, ENOUGH WITH THE ANARCHY!! LEXIE, GO AWAY!!!
Lexie: *Flicks wand and everyone is wearing Hogwarts robes, the teachers are back in place, and all the anime people are back in the other fanfictions* Okay, now, it's time for Herbology!
Legolas: Here's a few questions:
1) Why was I wearing a tutu and leotard?
2) What precisely is a wok?
3) Who is the person who called me gay?
4) Who is Little Bunny Foo Foo?
5) Can I kill Lexie?
6) Where's the toliet?
Lexie: Stupid idiot!! You're a fictional character! Fictional characters never have to go potty! Also, I would imagine that since you're an elf, you just go behind the nearest bit of vegetation! As to the other questions...
1) You were wearing a tutu and leotard for my entertainment.
2) A wok is a big, heavy oriental frying pan that hurts, like so. *Hits legolas on the head with the wok, and now the ommelette is all over him*
3) Me!!
4) Little Bunny Foo Foo is my boyfriend, and don't you dare dis him!!!
5) No! Well, you can try!
Legolas: *Shoots arrow at Lexie*
Lexie: *Turns the arrow into a feather and tickles Legolas until her kisses her feet*
Legolas: DISGUSTING!! *Rinses mouth* Ooh, Listerine! *Throws dagger*
Lexie: GIVE ME THE LISTERINE!!! *Grabs dagger and cuts Legolas's hair*
Legolas: MY HAIR!! WAAAHHHH!! *Cries like a baby*
Lexie:*Blows a raspberry* I hate everyone here! AT least all the fictional characters! We need some romance! Foo Foo! *Starts making out with Little Bunny Foo Foo* Ohh, I love this fanfiction!
Legolas: That's not right. Save the giant pink rabbit from the insane girl! *Pulls away Foo Foo* *Gets bopped on the head* It's still not right!
Harry: Let's join them, Cho!
Cho: Let's not, baka ningen!! *Grabs the wok and bangs Harry on the head* *Disappears from the fanfic*
Harry: *Looks at Hermione and raises eyebrows twice*
Hermione: No way! RON! HARRY'S ABOUT TO MAKE A MOVE ON ME!!
Ron: HARRY!! *Swings in on vine and kills Harry*
Lexie: Okay, Foo Foo! I want to go kill people! *Kills everyone in the fanfic* This is boring. Let's start over again! This time, more ANARCHY!!
Starlight: Okay! Let's take these guys to Defense Against the Dark Arts!
Harry: Okay...
Ron: BLOODY...
Starlight: *Grabs wok and hits Ron on the head*
Ron: OUCH! What was that for?
Starlight: Oh, never mind, Crystal would kill me if I said what...anywho, let's go! And Harry, you're supposed to be dead!
Ron: *Mumbles* That's what I was gonna say...
Legolas: What is this class you speak of?
Starlight: *Winces* Ugh...I needa fix your hair...*Death glare at Lexie*
Lexie: *Brings out the Evil Sheep of Doom*
Starlight: *Brings out the Evil Strawberry Squirrel*
Lexie: FEAR MY WRATH, SQUIRREL!
Squirrel: *Squeaks in attempt to laugh*
Clair: *Shakes her head in pity* Squirrels these days...a disgrace...
Starlight: RAWR! LET'S GET TO CLASS! Oh, and...uh...*Waves wand that makes Legolas's hair back to normal* That's MUCH better...though I DO wonder what he looks like with neon pink hair...
Lexie: BWAHAHAHAHA...Queen of Squirrels, thou has given the Evil Sheep of Doom an idea!
Starlight: *Mock scared voice* Oh-no-please-help...Oh shoot, you mean Legolas's hair, don't you?
Lexie: *Gives the Evil Sheep of Doom stare*
Starlight: *Grins* I gotta get my camera...anyway, LETSGOBEFOREANYONESAYSANOTHERWORD!!!!
~~~Later in class~~~
Harry: I wonder who our teacher is this time...
Ron: Are you a ghost?
Harry: O.o No. That Lexie twit brought me back to life, remember?
Big, booming voice that comes outta nowhere: HELLO, STUDENTS!!!
Students: O.o
Big, Booming Voice: ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF...
Ron: Where have I heard that before?
Hermione/Harry/Ron: *Smirk*
Starlight: *Steps outta nowhere* ME!!!
Harry/Ron: O.o MEEEEEP!
Starlight: Ten points off of Gryffindor for Harry and Ron saying "Meep"! STORY CHARACERS DON'T SAY "MEEP"!
Harry/Ron: O.o
Starlight: NEITHER DO THEY MAKE O.o EYES!!!
Harry/Ron: *Hide under table*
Starlight: On with the class, allow me to introduce three new students!
*Legolas, Gimli, and Aragorn are suddenly standing in the middle of the classroom*
Gimli: Look here, lass! Return us to the land to which we belong! My axe shall be willing to strike if-
Starlight: LET'S HAVE THEM INTRODUCE THEMSELVES, AND THEN SAY THEIR FAVORITE BALLET!
Gimli: Gimli, son of Gloin, at your service. *Bows* What is this ballet you speak of?
Starlight: Wow! I've never heard of that one before! Let's hear from the ditzy blonde, next!
Legolas: I am Legolas, son of Thandruil. As for this ballet, I know nothing of it...
Starlight: Wow! I've never heard of that one either, but it must be great!
Aragorn: I, Aragorn, King of Gondor, demand you to tell us what this "ballet" is!
Starlight: Oh, gosh, there are so many ballets I haven't seen! But I'm pretty sure they aren't in Ballet Weekly...*Checks "Ballet Weekly" magazine*
Pansy Parkinson: I will show you what ballet is! *Bats eyelashes at Legolas* *Giggles a REALLY girly giggle* *Dances like an overweight elephant*
Starlight: Twenty points off of Slytherin!
Slytherins: WHAT?!?!
Pansy: What? But...why?
Starlight: For you, my...dear...*Shudders* You are putting us all in danger of becoming blind!
Pansy: No I'm not!!!
Starlight: Yes, you are! You danced, therefore made us all nearly blind! For raising your voice at the teacher, I shall schedule you in for detention, where you shall clean ALL of my shoes. USING ELBOW GREASE!!!
Pansy: But...that's not fair! I bet you're just saying that...because...because...YOU'RE A FASHION FREAK!
Starlight: *Laughs* Oh no, of course not! I'm doing it to see what you smell like after HOURS cleaning shoes...O.o *Gets out noseplug*
*Yusuke, Jin, and Hiei reappear*
Hiei: *Growls and grabs his katana* I REFUSE TO DRESS LIKE A NINGEN GIRL!
Twilight: *Randomly...is there* Shaddup. You're not a major character in this fic.
Hiei: O_O! WHAT? *Slashes Twilight*
Crystal: *Is also randomly there* She's right, Hiei. Sheila and Lexie would have a fit. Especially Lexie. *Imagines Lexie burning hundreds of pounds of manga* Yup, that's about what she'd do. *Suddenly leaves the room*
Harry: Where'd she go?
Starlighter: Who cares? Just shaddup and pay attention. Anyway, class, today we will be learning how to defend ourselves against the Evil Sheep of Doom!
Lexie: *Pops up outta nowhere* There is no way to defend yourself against the Evil Sheep of Doom!
Starlight: *Bends down and whispers in Lexie's ear*
Lexie: OOOOOOOOOH...*Eyes Malfoy, smirking* OKAY!
Starlight: OKAY, let's get started! Who would like to volunteer to go first?
Malfoy: *Whispers* What kind of a ditzy teacher is thi-
Starlight: Alright! Malfoy, isn't it? We have a volunteer! Come on up, Dracie Poo!
Malfoy: HOW DARE YOU!!! *Charges towards Starlight*
Evil Sheep of doom: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! *Headbutts Malfoy*
Malfoy: That sheep looks familiar...*Faints*
Pansy: So, how do we defend ourselves against that thing?
Starlight: You have to learn by yourselves, Pansy! Can anyone tell me why?
Hermione: *Hand shoots up*
Starlight: Yes, Mrs. Granger?
Hermione: So we have...erm...experience in a sudden attack by a creature we have never seen before, and this creature-who-must-not-be-named is a way to teach us how to suddenly defend ourselves?
Starlight: *tilts head* Erm...too long and too complicated for me to understand, so...
Slytherins: *Sniggering* *Whispering* GASP! Hermione got a question wrong!
Starlight: So, since your answer is so complicated the TEACHER could not understand it, twenty points to Gryffindor, and Gryffindors may leave class now!
Slytherins: O.O
Legolas: And what of us?
Starlight: You guys stay and help the Slytherins fight the Evil Sheep of Doom. Bye, class! Be sure to leave on time!
Everyone still in class: *Curses at teacher who's name they do not yet know*
Crystal: *Appears outta nowhere* BUT WHAT ABOUT HIEI, JIN, AND YUSUKE?
Starlight: *Smiles wickedly* Jin and Yusuke, stay behind, Hiei is dismissed.
Crystal/Jin/Yusuke: O.O NOT FAIR!!!
Starlight: Tough.
Hiei: Hmph. Fools. *Disappears*
Crystal: *Disappears as well*
Yusuke: I hate you. -.-
Starlight: That's nice.
Crystal: *Reappears, burning thousands of dictionaries*
Lexie: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Hikaru: *Appears out of nowhere* I WANNA SEE HIKARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!
Sheila: *Shoves Hikaru in a box* Go away. This is supposed to be a HP/LOTR crossover. *Glares at Crystal*
Lexie: ...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!