The Refugee
Chapter 9- Feralae
I stared after Cassie, not knowing what to make of her. My 'Gaydar' had gone off when I'd met this group, but I hadn't suspected Cassie. She was happy with Jake wasn't she?
I actually walked home that night. David had decided to stay in his nest because of the chilly weather. I told him I'd see him tomorrow, left him some cheezits, and walked down the mountain to the hork bajir valley. The hologram was left up and Alloran had decided to stay the night to keep watch.
I made it to bed. The hork bajir were gathering around a campfire for the night. I didn't even bother. I flopped down on the bed, but sleep didn't come. I sighed, leaning back in the bed. Jag and Escalade curled up on the bed with me, keeping me warm.
I slept finally. But it wasn't sound. I kept reliving my parent's capture, begging the past me to be careful! Watch out! Don't leave any loopholes!
But what's past can't be changed. What could be changed was my present, and my future. The Animorphs were going to arrange for their Chee Doppelgangers to take over. They'd help with the move and rest up for the mission on Saturday. It was a week away. A whole week.
The dream went dark. I saw the Ellimist approaching. IT WILL BE ALRIGHT. He told me. IT WILL BE ALRIGHT FOR BOTH OF US. I felt his sadness. I felt his grief.
I woke up slowly. Jag was licking my face. "Hey boy." I said sleepily.
"Are you ready to go Feralae?" Asked one of the twins, Alda. She was bouncing up and down on the tips of her toes. "What will you do? What is that thing?" She pointed to the dogs and the birds.
So I introduced Alda to the animals. She laughed at the name Jag. Escalade was another unusual word. "What is an Escalade?" She asked.
"It's a kind of car. Jag is short for another kind of car, a Jaguar. Then there's Cadillac, which is a kind of car. There's also the Border Collies Firebird and Thunderbird. And mother's Great Dane is called Pontiac. Her puppies are Grand Am and Grand Prix."
"They're all named for cars?" Asked Alda as I pulled a towel and bar of soap out of the pile of plastic bags. "What are those things?"
"A towel and soap." I explained. "Humans use them to clean themselves. Do you know where the nearest lake is?"
"Yup, this way."
I did not consider a five-foot deep beaver pond a good place to wash. I was lucky that the soap was organically made by one of my mother's suppliers. As it was I'd probably have to order some through Erek. Alda followed me to the pond, yammering questions. I rolled my eyes, answering them as patiently as I could. Then Bara did a cannon ball into the pond, causing me to sputter on pond water. "BARA!"
"Whoopsee sorry sorry!" Bara chattered. He dove under water. That was when I noticed that the towel was precariously perched on the bank, a mere inches from the water. I screeched and barely managed to save it from a nastily wet fate. "Why no clothes?" Bara asked. "You have strange lumps on chest!"
I flushed very deep red. "Because I'm bathing Bara and I was HOPING not to have guests!" He sputtered. I frog kicked to the bank and climbed up the bank.
"No join?" Bara and Alda asked, giving me the hork bajir version of a childish pout.
"NO JOIN!" I snapped, wrapping the towel around my chest. "I don't like being intruded on when bathing. It's this thing that we humans have with privacy. I'll be back out in a moment."
The twins seemed to have clung to me all morning. I finally lost them after breakfast by morphing and flying to the cabin. Jara Hame, Toby Hame and Ket Halpak were swarming over the roof of the stables there with extra planks that they'd made from fallen trees. The warm weather had left it in pretty good condition, but the roof was half caved in. A group of four adult hork bajir was discussing where to get the bark for the roof and the beams for the rafters.
David was perched on the huge hole created by the collapsed beam. Okay, I think it's gonna take about twenty feet long by ten inches as a support beam and cross beams extending about four feet beyond the edge of the hole. He slid down the drainpipe.
When they presented me with the timbers to be used. I pointed to this, or that, and we were working on the beams themselves when Alloran, Ax, and Tobias flew in. Alloran had acquired my Harris Hawk. It would be a good morph, because Harris Hawks were social birds. He'd be able to fly in close proximity to me when we were flying without suspicion. I also think that to some degree he was afraid of being captured again. If that were the case he wouldn't want to have a morph more powerful than the others, like Lexus, my Golden Eagle. The other Animorphs flew in from the city. They'd gone ahead with camping equipment. This time it had been Mr. Tidwell who'd helped. They'd mentioned him as a yeerk insider.
I waved. Hi everybody!
Hi Feralae! They called down.
No answer from Cassie. I wasn't surprised. I mean she was probably struggling. Let her struggle. Sexuality is the one thing that you need to figure out for yourself you know? Take if from a bonafide lesbian, you don't fool around with a person's sexuality.
I waited for her to say something as she demorphed. The other animorphs joined me as I explained what was going on. "They've cleared out most of the debris. " I explained as we met outside. "They've also picked dead, dried trees to use for supports. It will be tough, but David and Toby think that they can repair the barn and the fences around it. I don't want to have the animals here though. David might upset them and vice versa. Toby has volunteered to block off some grazing land for the animals. I just want Jag and Escalade with me…"
Jag… David chuckled. I mean, I had a cat named Megadeth and a cobra named Spawn, but I have never met a person who's animals were named after cars! He laughed.
I laughed too. "That was the effect I was hoping for."
Cassie just sighed.
"What's wrong Cassie?" Rachel asked. "Feeling sick?"
"It's nothing Rachel." Cassie answered.
"Don't bother her Rachel. She'll tell you when she's ready." Toby answered. "Okay. We've got the beams together. The sides of the barn have already been repaired, we were up at dawn doing it. We need to move the beams into place. I'm thinking hork bajir morphs, and Marco and Feralae's gorilla."
"Makes sense." Jake was watching the picture that David was drawing in the dust with his claws.
This is what it looks like from above. And Jake, I wouldn't try going up there. The roof is highly unstable. Maybe a bird could make it, but if you get within about two feet from the edge of the hole in human form, and you'd fall a looooong way. David said calmly. You'll have to repair it from above first.
"We're already working on a latice work to support the roof. David had a pretty good design." Toby said calmly. "He may have been a traitor, but he's a smart one."
David ignored her, then climbed up my leg onto my shoulder. Tobias was standing on Rachel's head. That was when Escalade happily landed on Tobias' back.
Tobias jumped. YAH! WHAT IS IT DOING!! He demanded.
"Backstanding." I chuckled. "It's something that Harris Hawks do to stay cool. The one on the bottom has the most shade. I've seen pictures of up to six of them standing like that."
He almost gave me a heart attack!
So he's like the groupie of the bird world isn't he? David asked, looking up at them.
"Either that or Rachel looks like a blonde cactus to him!" Marco joked.
You know, I could almost get used to this. Is it alright if I acquire this guy? Tobias asked. I mean, what you said about Harris Hawks earlier is true right?
"It's what the Falconry instructor back home said." I answered. "Harris hawks are the easiest birds to train because of their social nature. He's even seen some of them swarm a deer."
Cool! I think I could get along with this guy just fine, as long as he doesn't invade my territory.
We got to work on the barn, but it was slower going than the house. By then Ket Halpak was working on washing the barrels and crates that we'd unearthed.
Escalade followed Tobias everywhere. I guess its because Red Tails look so much like Harris Hawks. Tobias liked it at first, but got a bit annoyed after awhile. So I took Escalade and sent him back to the cave.
But finally, between me, Toby, Jara, and Marco, we got the two replacement posts up and the roof lattice hung between them. David carried messages for us up and down the barn poles. Finally, Marco and I made it to the roof. Hey Marco. I said in private thoughtspeak. Something happened last night.
What? He asked. It was almost funny to see a gorilla with nails in his teeth, hammering down hork bajir manufactured shingles. These did not fit in with the original barn. They were made of thin strips of wood taken from just beneath the bark layer of an elm tree that was dying of Dutch Elm Disease. They needed a way to take the wood away from the Valley. This gave them the opportunity. The stump would later be burned by the hork bajir back in the valley.
Well, Cassie and I were talking, and I'm not sure what happened, but suddenly she walks over and kisses me. I said in private thoughtspeak.
Marco almost fell off the roof. You're kidding? Cassie a Lesbian? I just can't parse it.
Niether could I. I told her. But maybe she's bi? I don't know. All I know is what she did. No I don't want this repeated. Just us.
I figured, seeing as you're, we're both, in the closet. Marco let out a thoughtspeak sigh before taking a fresh grip on the hammer. This may cause problems.
Gee you think? I asked. I'm not stupid, and unlike David did when he was chased out, I didn't say, 'Oh poor me.' If I had done the pity party bit I would be a rat too now. But you know, here I am.
I didn't say that. But you know, you do have a point.
So we don't say anything? I asked.
Damn right I won't. Marco answered.
We finished the roof and painted waterproof finish in it. The hork bajir pushed pine sap between the slats of the roof. We slid down and demorphed. "That's done. Now the basement." Toby and Ket followed us down with torches to the basement. We lit candles and proceeded in the dark.
Erek came by with an electric light and a generator to assist with the cleaning. We cleaned out the basement in a similar manner to the upper floors. The crates were adequately stored, but the barrels had to be dismantled. I'd burn their wood for firewood and maybe rework the wrought iron. I could use them as wheels maybe.
We headed down to the hork bajir valley that evening to bathe. The girls went first, then the boys. David was actually happy to be back with reasonably intelligent beings. Erek did not go. He preferred to keep his cover, and there was a Sharing Meeting that night.
Cassie, Rachel, and I dove into the waters of the Beaver pond. Many of the girl hork bajir joined us. It was the girls that I didn't mind, but if Bara pulled off one more cannon ball. "I allowed to come?" Alda asked plaintively.
"Of course Alda, but no boys."
"Males no come why?" Alda asked, slipping in next to Rachel.
"Because males have different body parts that's why Alda." I said as I came up to the top.
"Anybody got any soap?" Rachel asked, shaking out her hair.
"Over by my towel. It's wrapped up in a washcloth. Don't let the younger hork bajir near it. One of them tried to eat it." I told her. "It's organic, made to break down in the environment."
"Okay. I won't ask." Rachel rolled her eyes.
Cassie chuckled, then ducked under the water to rinse off.
"Come here Cassie! I'll wash your hair." Rachel offered. "This stuff smells excellent!"
"Don't let Ax near it, he'll probably do the same thing." Cassie joked. "Try to eat it I mean."
"That is bad for him?" Alda asked, sniffing at the bubbles.
"Eating soap is poison Alda. That and the fact that it's really disgusting." I chuckled. "Come here and have a whiff. Humans use soap to wash with."
"Hork bajir use sap. My mother mother remembers the sap of the stoola tree that she mixed with leaves back on the hork bajir world."
I smiled and sang as I scrubbed. "I will crawl through my past/ over stones blood and glass/ in the ruins/ I will reach under the fence/ as I try to make sense/ In the ruins…"
To my surprise Cassie joined in. "But if I am to heal/ I must first learn to feel/ In the ruins…"
"I've never heard that one." Rachel commented. "Who was it?"
"Melissa Etheridge." I answered. "I absolutely love her music. It's so sad. It's soft and moody."
"Remember Talking to My Angel?" Cassie asked.
"Oh I love that one! Sing it with me? Please Cassie?" I begged.
"Don't be afraid
Close your eyes
Lay it all down
Don't you cry
Can't you see I'm going?
Where I can see the sun rise
I've been talking to my angel
And he said that it's alright." Cassie began.
"I've always had to run
I don't know just why
Desire slowly smoking
Under the Midwest sky
But there's something waiting out there
That says I have to try…" I sang.
Then at once, "I've been talking to my angel
And He said that it's alright."
"This town thinks I'm crazy."
"They just think I'm strange."
"Sometimes they would own me
Sometimes they wish I'd change." I looked into Cassie's eyes, into Rachel's trying to express, what was so inexplicable. How to make Cassie feel better about last night? How to make peace with Rachel, who would most certainly be angry.
And also, how to make peace with myself, with my new reality as an Animorph?
"But I can feel the thunder
Underneath my feet
I sold my soul for freedom
It's lonely but it's sweet."
Cassie smiled, joining in.
"Don't be afraid
Close your eyes
Lay it all down
Don't you cry
Can't you see I'm going?
Where I can see the sunrise
I've been talking to my angel
And he said that it's alright."
Rachel clapped. Alda looked at me curiously. "What is that?" She asked.
"It's music Alda." Rachel answered. She, like Cassie, Alda, and myself shook off the song with difficulty. Ket Halpak and Toby Hame, who had also been present, looked troubled. Toby was interested, but I realized that hork bajir intelligence limited them to stories, probably not songs. An entire world without music? I could barely tolerate life her on Earth with talk radio!
"Teach music?" Alda begged. "Teach music please?"
"I suppose I could. Tell you what, when I finish the house you can come up and visit and I'll teach you music. Okay? We've just got a lot of things to do."
Marco walked backwards over to the pond. "Are you girls done gossiping yet?"
Rachel threw a rock at him. "Give us a second!"
I chuckled, crawling out of the pond and drying off. I slipped into my morph outfit and shook out my hair before putting on my trademark leather jacket.
Jake, Marco, Tobias, Ax, and Alloran with David on his shoulder passed us. Jara and Bara leapt straight from the trees into the water. Tobias took the time to morph. David slipped into the shallows of the beach. I'm actually taking a BATH! He exclaimed. I'm here! I have… friends. I understood his hesitance in using the word friend. It was the same hesitance that Alloran would have used. A former enemy turned friend. That was a reason to be shy alright.
I dug through my pack for a penny whistle. "Right. Alda, this is a whistle." I managed to get through Taps and Hot Cross Buns before exhaustion took over. I went to bed. Cassie pulled up her sleeping bag next to mine. "Feralae?" She asked softly.
I didn't want to answer. I didn't want… "Yeah Cassie?"
"How did… I mean… I'm sorry about last night."
I smiled up at the ceiling of the cave in the dark. "That's okay."
"You aren't angry?" She asked.
I felt my throat choke up, tears filling my eyes in the dark. "No. I'm not at all."
I heard Alda playing with the whistle in the dark near the campfire.
"Great. Thanks…" Cassie yawned and rolled over.
We were asleep before Rachel came in to say goodnight.