I know you've seen all your dreams turn to dust
I know your heart's been left in the rain to rust
But you wont be lonely now…

-Billy Ray Cyrus

*`~

"Chaa…The ocean breeze is so refreshing." Misharei stood at the side on the ship, leaned over the railing. His hair was pulled back in that short ponytail; his long bangs blowing around his face, which held a very pleased expression.

Kamatari watched him, resisting the urge to reach over and brush back Misha's hair when the boy looked over his shoulder at him. He wanted to touch his companion; to share all the profound wisdom of what Misha was. "Hai. It is refreshing." But only half as refreshing as being with you…

"The sky is so blue. I find that you can see everything so much more clearly under a blue sky." He tilted his head back to regard Kamatari, sunlight glinting off the small gold hoop in his ear.

The steamer gave a sudden lurch, causing the thin boy to lose his balance. He stumbled, falling backwards into Kamatari, who caught him and set him back upright. "Chaa…" He drew in a breath. Kamatari had not released him; his back was up against his chest. "Gomen." His pale face flushed pink.

"Iie; don't apologize. It's not your fault." He loosened his grip but did not entirely let go of the boy. It felt right; holding him safe and warm; watching him shine while protecting him from harm.

Misha smiled lightly, his head back against his friend's chest. This…This is what I have been waiting for. Hai; I do love him so. I am so pleased. He looked up, feeling his friend tense at his movement. "Do you love me?"

He was so innocent. The older man relaxed slightly, his arm crossing Misharei's chest and reaching up to caress the boy's cheek. "I do love you. You have always held a special place in my heart."

"Iie, that's not what I mean. Do you want to share your soul with me? I want to be with you forever."

"Hai…" Kamatari whispered, "I understood." He spoke into the boy's hair, his face buried in the soft tresses. "I want to be with you also. But there are things I need to make sure of before I can give you my heart and soul."

"I want to be there to help you; chaa." The young man smiled softly, "That's what loving another person is. You care so much for another person that it doesn't matter how much they make you hurt. I will always be by your side; I love you so." He reveled in the thought of being in the other man's arms. Perhaps it was a small triumph, the two of them together like that, but it was the most he could hope for at present.

"Misha-kun, I care for you very much as well. You are truly the only person who has ever loved me. I will try my hardest to love you back."

A sweet smile crossed Misha's face. "You needent try. If you truly love me, there will be no try. It will just happen. And I do believe that you already love me. You enjoyed that kiss, didn't you?"

"Hai…Very much so. But I never knew you were so bold, kissing me like that in front of other people. Where is the shy little boy I raised?"

"I would do it again in a minute, Itoshii Hito. Chaa; I would. But only for you. Besides, it was fun making the little boy angry. He amused me so. He was frightened of me, Kamatari, as if he were worried I would make him like us."

A hint of a smile crossed Kamatari's face. "Ah…I did frighten him terribly. The weasel girl too. She was so upset that I'm sexier than her."

"Hai; much sexier." The teen nodded in agreement, twisting around in Kamatari's embrace so that they were face to face. He wrapped his arms around the ex-Juppon Gatana's waist, rested his chin against his chest as he looked up at him. "No one could ever be more sexy than you."

"Ai suru, Misha…" He stroked back the boy's hair, smiling fondly down at him. You are the love of my life. I adore you. But I don't know if I can tell you this yet. Broken hearts need time to heal. Everything will change soon; I promise you. But there's no rush, though I need your touch…

"Hai…I know." The grin on Misha's face was all-knowing. His natural beauty was highlighted by the red and orange rays of the setting sun, casting a golden glow around him. "Kamatari?" The man was looking at him lovingly, his ginger eyes soft and warm.

"Ara?"

"Are you going to kiss me?" His voice was a gentle whisper as he looked up expectantly at his beloved friend. One of his hands was rested flat against Kamatari's chest, the other was still around his waist. Their eyes were locked together; their hearts both pounding wildly.

"…Hai…" He took a step back, leaning towards Misha; his hand braced on the teen's shoulder. This will either be the smartest or stupidest thing I've ever done…

The kiss was sweet like honey; a time stopping, soul-stirring kiss. Misha leaned back, his eyes closed as he accepted bliss; he felt as if he was going to melt. He could have become a pool of goo right there on the deck of the ship. Chaa…I always dreamed it would be like this…

Like rain…Kamatari's eyes fell shut and he prayed to every conceivable god he wasn't making the biggest mistake of his life. He was well aware that if this didn't work out, Misha would be devastated. I never want to hurt him…I never want him to cry again like that day in the prison…Seeing him cry hurt me more than anything. He broke the kiss, albeit reluctant, and drew back slightly.

"Stay with me…" Misharei's chin trembled and he grasped the sleeve of Kamatari's kimono between his fingers. Such passion…I've never known anything like it before. I'm not ready for him to leave me yet.

"So dêsu…Don't cry, Misha." Kamatari's fingers ran through his hair, pushing it back from his face. "Shuzuku ni naru…" He held the boy to him protectively, his lips brushed against his forehead, "I'm not going anywhere."

"Ai shiteru." The warm feel of their bodies pressed together was making the boy somewhat sleepy. He yawned, his head once again rested against the older man's chest. I don't think I could be any more happy than this…

Kamatari settled down on the deck, Misha beside him. Twilight was a beautiful time of day and he wanted them to share it. The young man leaned his head on his shoulder, his bangs falling lightly into his eyes. Kamatari put an arm around his friend, hugging him close. My darling dearest one…I hope you're happy with all of this. I want you to stay happy. Seeing you pleased makes me happy.

The stars began to come out and still they sat there together. Misharei snuggled closer to Kamatari, nestling up next to the man. He smiled, his gaze drifting up to the sky. This is all I've waited for and I could not ask for more. A chill ran up his spine. "I'm cold." He said softly.

"Come here…" Kamatari pulled the scrawny boy into his lap, his arms around him securely. "Of course you're cold." He chided, "You don't dress well. Look at you, wearing that same haori you've had since you were eleven."

"You gave it to me. It has special meaning. Wearing this, I feel close to you." His head fit perfectly under Kamatari's chin. He felt safe and warm, as if nothing could harm him ever. "You're my only friend and you are wonderful." His arm was around the other man's neck in a hug.

"You are my only friend also. All those times…I was very alone until I met you." The back of his hand ran across one of Misha's cheeks, causing old memories to come rushing back in both their minds. "You were just a child, but how I loved you…I wanted to watch you shine; to watch you grow. I was proud to see you grow up so polite and thoughtful. It made me feel as if I had done something right in my life."

"Chaa…" Misha sighed, "I wanted to glow for you. I wanted you to be proud of me." His hair rustled on the breeze and he snuggled farther into Kamatari's embrace, "Itoshii Hito, you were my everything. I lived for you."

"I…" Kamatari blinked, looking down at the young man. "I don't deserve that. I've killed people. I shouldn't be with some one so innocent as you. Your past isn't streaked with blood."

"Hai…Every time I so lovingly mended the chain; every time I repaired a nick in the blade, I was helping you kill some one. You were able to take life because of what I did for you." A frown crossed his face, causing it to darken slightly.

"Ne, don't frown. I hate to see you unhappy. You become very ugly when you are angry. And you should be nothing but beautiful."

"You think I'm beautiful?"

"So dêsu; the most beautiful person I know. I have always seen you as such, because you are so free. You are such a free spirit. Your soul is empty and that makes you beautiful." He brushed back his friend's hair, peering into his eyes, trying to draw from their depths some sort of meaning.

"Chaa…You are beautiful to me too. You saved my life and gave me love. How could you not be beautiful?" He took one of Kamatari's hands in his, holding his palm to his lips. "Chaa; the one I love could never be anything but beautiful."

I don't understand how he does this to me…Kamatari's fingers trembled as Misha's kiss sent a tingling sensation through his palm. He makes me feel as no one before ever has. I didn't even feel this way about Shishio-sama. Perhaps there is something deeper than I ever imagined…He says all the right things at exactly the right times, as if he knows my very heart.

"Itoshii Hito…America will be very different from home, ne?" Misharei held the cross-dresser's hand to his heart as he stared up at him earnestly. "There will be things like we have never seen before. Are you frightened?"

"A little, hai. But you and I will be together." The man smiled, "And together, there is nothing we can't do."

"We will be together forever, chaa?" Please let him say yes…I do not think I would be able to make it on my own in America…

"So dêsu. You are mine forever. Ai shiteru itsumo. You're my Misha-kun. I would be lost without you, probably still rotting away in that jail cell. You were the only reason I had to live after I lost everything else important to me. You called me back from darkness and I will never let you go now."

"Music to my ears, Itoshii." He rested his head back against Kamatari's chest, "Music to my ears; chaa…Because that's all I want." He yawned, relaxing into the other's warm embrace, "I want to give you everything you need and be with you. I promise, you won't be lonely now."

"Go to sleep. I'll keep you safe and warm through the night." He kissed the boy's forehead, a silent act of all his emotions. Now that you're here in my arms I'm alive…For the first time in a long time, I know what it is to truly live…