Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing…

-Aerosmith

*`~

It was only when he began to get cold that Kamatari carried the slumbering teenager into their cabin. Misharei was curled up in his lap, clutching the collar of his kimono lightly between his fingers, a peaceful smile spread across his face.

He looks even more beautiful when he's asleep. The man gently settled his friend down on the narrow bed in the ship's cabin. He covered Misha with a light blanket, then sat on the edge of the bed, observing the innocent beauty that was Kataomoi Misharei.

The boy's eyelashes lightly graced his cheeks, as if he were being kissed by butterflies. His thin hair fell across his forehead and over his eyes. His chest rose and fell with every breathe, his smile in his sleep was a deeply satisfied one. He had immediately rolled over on his side, hugging a pillow to his chest.

He sleeps like that a lot…I wonder why. He's always holding something in his sleep. Kamatari brushed back a lock of Misha's hair. Ahhh…To be in his arms…It's wonderful, the way he hugs.

The day I met him, I knew there was something about him. He was relying on me to take care of him and make everything all right. He wanted me to stay with him forever; to never leave the way his parents would. And I promised him…

Misha stirred a little, mumbling something along the lines of "chaa…how happy I am…" which caused a smile to cross Kamatari's face. My Misha-kun, always the dreamer. Even in his sleep he is joyous. How I wish to be the same way…

I love him. I cannot deny that. I love him more than anything in this world. I have always loved him so, from the moment we first met. But only now am I discovering things about the both of us.

He's not a child. He's blossomed into a man before me and I hadn't paid any attention. Kamatari studied the soft curves of his sleeping companion's features. Moonlight threw unusual shadows across Misharei's face, contorting his attractiveness into something less appealing. The person closest to me is all grown up now…

How alike and yet unlike we are. He also did everything out of love, yet he expected nothing in return. He knew my heart was busy elsewhere, yet he loved me anyway. He worked too hard to succeed. I remember…I remember that time he made himself sick. He was about thirteen and had been with me for two years then.

~Flashback~

"Misha-kun, you need to take a break."

"Chaa…I'm fine, Kamatari-sama!"

"Iie, please stop working for a little while and relax."

Something about him that day hadn't looked right. Kamatari knew there was something wrong with his friend, but Misha refused to admit it. He was working hard at making a new chain for the scythe, straining to bend the links just so, and using up what little energy he had fairly quickly.

"I won't stop until I'm finished."

They argued back and forth for a while in this fashion until Misha stood up to get a file and sand one of the link's edges. He rose to his feet, took one step and collapsed on the floor.

"Miru, Misha-kun…I told you." Kamatari said good-naturedly as he picked up the boy. He stroked back his hair -not quite as long then- and pressed his hand against his forehead. "My darling one, you're going to work yourself to death. You're very sick."

He'd carried the child to his bed, tucked him in under the blankets. Misha had slept restlessly for several hours, tossing and turning, mumbling things in his sleep, until he finally jolted awake, his eyes wide and frightened.

"Chaa; I was all alone. I was alone…" He rambled, "I was frightened and Mama and Papa went away. I wanted some one to come and I kept calling, but they only went farther away." Tears ran down his face and his body tremble like a leaf.

"Oh, my poor little Misha…Come here." He had pulled the frail boy into his lap, stroking back his hair, "You don't have to be afraid. I won't ever leave you alone."

Misha rested his head against Kamatari's chest, looking up at him through eyes heavy with sleep. "You won't ever leave me, will you? Not like my mama and papa…" He whispered, tears streaking down his cheeks.

"Iie…Never. We will be together until you decide you no longer need me. Only then will I leave you. Or you will leave me. Whatever comes first…"

~End Flashback~

He was such a frail child. He still is breakable. But now, it's his heart and I'll have to be careful not to break it. I don't want him to ever suffer. But I'm not sure I can give him all he needs right now.

He lightly ran one finger over the boy's cheek, touching that pale skin, enjoying the feel of his friend. Misha was so straightforward; so open. He was inviting; welcoming of touch, the kind of person who would hug you whether you wanted him to or not. The way he kisses…

He yawned, rubbing his eyes with one fist. "I'm tired, Darling." He said softly to the sleeping boy, "But I'm not ready to go to sleep yet. I'd rather tell you everything. I'd rather stay in this moment forever, open my heart and bare my soul to you. I'd do it now," He settled down on the bed beside him, "While you were asleep, so I wouldn't have to be afraid."

Misha rolled over, the pillow still clutched in his arms. Kamatari watched him, studying his face intently. His eyes moved slightly beneath his lids as if he were following something as it passed by. I wonder what he's dreaming about… "Misha, if I were more brave, I would tell you I love you the way you want me to. I would tell you that I want you with me forever and I never want to share you with any one else. I don't even want to sleep now, because I'd rather stay here and watch you. I'm happy just to look at you as you sleep…"

Another yawn escaped his lips. He had no clue what time it was, but he was exhausted. "My darling dearest one, I love you deeply. I always have and I always will." HE gently kissed the boy on the forehead, "And someday, I'll be able to tell you this…"