Stay tonight in...
Ever after, this love in time
And if you save your love
Save it all
Don't push me too far
Don't push me too far
Tonight
Tonight
Tonight...
-U2
*`~
"Are you sleepy, Anata?"
"Hai; a little."
Kamatari was sitting in the grass, leaned back, his body braced by his hands. Misharei lay next to him, his head rested on his lap. A gentle breeze blew, rustling the blades and causing a green ripple to dance across the field. Dusk was falling and stars were beginning to come out. They had been sitting there all afternoon, neither one of them wishing to move.
"We should go back soon." The older man shifted a little, brushing back his companion's hair, "You haven't fully recovered your strength and I'm sure Dom-san must be worried about us both."
"But…Itoshii Hito…I only want to be here with you." Misharei pouted, his sleepy gaze flickering up to Kamatari's face. He rolled over, his thin arms wrapping around the older man's waist, his face nestled in the silk of his kimono. "Besides, I don't think Dominick-san will be too worried about me. He would probably be happier if I were gone." One of his spindly fingers ran expertly up and down Kamatari's spine and he smiled deviously when he felt the other man shudder with pleasure.
Kamatari looked down at him, his velvet eyes widening at the Misha's touch. Where had he learned that? He seemed to have the ability to turn Kamatari into some sort of ravenous beast simply by touching him. It was getting harder and harder to keep himself composed around his young friend. "Misha," His voice came out a squeak as the young man's finger hit an extremely sensitive spot on his lower back, "Wherever did you learn to be so bold?"
The boy smiled slyly, his hand traveling around so that it was under his chin in Kamatari's lap. "Yumi-san." He said, mirth evident in his voice.
"Yumi taught you that?" Kamatari blinked. It made sense, Yumi teaching him to be that way. The woman had been quite…loose with her morals. But to teach little Misha…His eyes narrowed down.
"So dêsu." A nod confirmed the statement.
"Why?"
"She wanted me," His smile widened, "To keep you away from Shishio. I suppose she thought my seducing you would be a good way to do it. I wasn't about to argue with her."
The former Juppon Gatana began to laugh. His companion was so blasé about it and that amused him to no end. "You think you would be able to succeed, Anata?" He giggled, pulling Misha closer to him, leaning over him in an attempt to stop laughing.
"There's only one way to find out, ne?" Misha smiled sweetly, "Let's go back. I'll show you how tempting I can be."
*`~
Dominick was eating dinner when he heard the familiar laughter of Misharei flit into the room. The young man's laugh was light and airy, something that would vanish on the breeze and leave you unsure that you had even heard it. He looked up just in time to see the young man scamper through the door, Kamatari at his heals.
"You found him, no?" He asked quietly.
"Oh, yes." Kamatari replied breathlessly, brushing his hair out of his face, "Now, if you'll excuse us, we have some business to attend to." He smiled slightly, winking at the Yugoslavian man as he followed behind his friend.
A frown crossed Dominick's face. He had an idea of what their "business" was and it unnerved him. Isn't the little boy sick still? Is this how the Japanese do things? He stroked his chin thoughtfully. But they seem so happy with one another…I suppose this is the best. And I laughed at the idea that they were lovers.
Shaking his head, he rose from his seat, handing his plate and mug to the young woman who had served him dinner. Then he mounted the stairs to his own room, hoping the happy couple wouldn't keep him awake all night.
*`~
"Are you sure this is the right thing to be doing?" Kamatari frowned slightly, having stopped after closing the door, "You are still sick and-"
"Chaa; I feel much better, thank you." Misha replied indignantly, "Now come over here, you." He held out a hand to his beloved, beckoning him to the bed where he sat among the crisp white sheets. "I want to experience every little bit of you; to know you inside and out."
"Darling, I…" The older man was at a loss for words. Never before had he thought he would be so hesitant. But then, this was Misharei, the boy he had reared for the past seven years. The one who had willingly done everything he asked. The man he was madly in love with.
"Please; do not do this any longer." The young man's voice came very soft, "I know you are still afraid. You don't want either of us to be hurt. But Itoshii Hito, you will not hurt me. So long as you love me and I love you, we will forgive each other's short-comings. My love for you is unconditional. You have hurt me already, and I do not stray from your side."
This could not be denied. Kamatari thought quickly back over the past several months' events. He had hurt Misha countless times because of his own uncertainty and self-doubt, yet there was the boy, still willing to give himself freely. And you give your heart away…He took a deep breath, crossing the room to the boy.
He leaned over, their faces only an inch or so apart. "You're right, Anata. You are always right about everything." His hand ran across the boy's cheek, his finger working up and around the young man's ear. Misha trembled with desire as Kamatari drew his chin up, their lips meeting in a tender kiss.
Misha groaned softly, his mind a haze of emotions that all seemed to center back in one place: I want him.
Now.
He fluidly pushed Kamatari down onto the bed, clutching at the collar of his kimono, crawling on top of him, kissing, touching, exploring. Pale, willowy Misha was tracing the contours of Kamatari's firm chest, his spindly fingers examining every last inch of the other man's skin. His lips followed the path of his fingers, trailing up towards the nape of Kamatari's neck.
Is this heaven? Kamatari felt like he was drowning in desire. He flexed his fingers, pulling Misha closer, desperate for his touch. He was hungry for the boy; all of his pent-up emotions ready to come out. As much as he hesitated to admit it, it had been extremely hard not to take the boy sooner. Misharei was so surreal, so fragile, so beautiful. But he was cunning and strong and so wonderful…
All thoughts left the cross-dresser's mind as he kissed the boy. There was nothing he wanted more at that moment than to be with Misha. "Ai shiteru. Ai shiteru; ai shiteru; ai shiteru." He whispered, "Ai shiteru itsumo, Anata."
"Hai…" Misha's voice was a gentle moan as he nipped at Kamatari's ear, "I have known that for so very long. It was you who did not know. It was you-" He gasped as Kamatari's hands found what they had been searching for. A slow smile spread across his pale face, "I love you, Itoshii. You finally seem to understand…"
"I have always understood. But I was afraid. Kitto kowaku nai." He sat up, Misha on his lap, the boy's legs wrapped around his waist. He held the young man to his bare chest, their lips meeting in a smoldering kiss. "We will always be together forever."
"Chaa…I'm glad." Misha fell back as Kamatari continued to kiss him. The sheets were rumpled; the two of them glistening with sweat, naked and totally wrapped up within one another. I could die right now and have no regrets…
*`~
It was late night. They had lost track of the time. Kamatari lay there, staring into the depths of the darkness, Misharei asleep, curled up on top of him. The boy had worn himself out and fallen asleep there, his head on Kamatari's bare chest. But the older man, he was too exhilarated for sleep. The dream world eluded him so he lay there, pondering the events of the evening.
What we did…it felt good, there's no doubt about that. But was it right? I love him and the gods know he loves me. I want to be with him forever and the rest of time. But was it right? I've made so many mistakes in my life; killed so many people. He is naïve, he doesn't understand. The past won't go away. And Shishio-sama…Just because he is dead doesn't mean I will just forget. How will that affect him?
I only want him, Kamatari looked down at his new lover, to be happy. The boy was sleeping soundly, his mouth curled up into a smile, one hand clenched into a fist and under his chin. He seems happy right now, but will it last? Why am I so afraid of hurting him, even when he says he won't ever leave me?
Because without him, I'll have nothing.
If something happened to him, I would be alone. There would be no one else. I could never love any one else the way I love him. Even Shishio-sama…It was different with him. That sort of love was an obsession. An infatuation. I cannot deny that I loved him. But Misha…I don't think I would have the strength to go on living if I also lost him.
The young man mumbled something, rolling over so that he was no longer on top of Kamatari. His feathery hair still tickled the other man's chest and his frail form fit perfectly into the contours and curves of Kamatari's body. The former Juppon Gatana's arm circled around Misha's chest, holding him close. I don't think he's going anywhere any time soon…A smile crossed his face and he turned so that Misha's back was up against his chest. Never leave me…
As if responding to the man's silent request, Misha rolled over again, his arms twining around Kamatari's body. A fleeting memory of the boy asleep on the steamer, that pillow clutched tightly in his arms, crossed his mind. So that's it…The pillow was supposed to fill the void I made in his life. Well, no more of that. He won't be hugging anything other than me for a long time. He kissed the boy's forehead softly, a yawn escaping his lips. I love him so much…
*`~
In the next room over, Dominick also lay awake, staring into the infinite darkness. The couple next door, thankfully, had kept fairly quiet. Their bedroom antics were not what kept him up; it was simply the fact that he had too much on his mind. His thoughts were a big jumbled mess as he lay there, pondering over the state of his life.
I came here to start a new life. To get married and have children. I've been here for over two months and have accomplished nothing other than rejection from a beautiful woman. What a waste…
Although…That waitress has been paying attention to me. I believe her name is Mary. We've been here a week already and she always speaks to me when I eat. She is from somewhere in Europe; perhaps even Yugoslavia. I can tell by her accent. Perhaps she will give me a chance.
He rolled over on his side, wondering what it would be like to be in love and have children. To belong to a family. Dominick hadn't had any class of a family for quite some time. I did come here, after all, to find a wife and have a good life…I will talk to Mary tomorrow.
This decided, the young man shut his eyes in an attept to sleep. He knew it would be a while before the sandman finally found him, but there was nothing else he could do but wait for sleep.
*`~
Mou…I dun like how I ended this chapter. BAH! . But it needed updating…*sighs* I'm in a slump, okay???