So tonight hold me close to you
And don't give up what's important to you
And as time rolls on
Nothing will stand in our way…

-Styx

*`~

Dominick and Mary were still sitting at the table when Kamatari came shuffling through the door, Misharei in his arms. The young man's eyes were glazed over with sleep, his arms loosely around his lover's neck. His head was rested on Kamatari's shoulder and he looked exhausted.

"Gomen nasai…" The boy whispered, "I should have listened to you…I'm not well yet." He snuggled deeper into his beloved's arms, "I'm so sorry…Making you worry more."

"Shh…Don't worry about it, Darling." Kamatari's delicate fingers ran across the boy's back, soothing him, trying to keep him comfortable. He was terribly worried about Misha, but didn't want him to know. "You just concentrate on getting better. Worrying will only make it worse."

"But-"

"Shh…" He buried his face in the young man's hair, trying to keep himself from crying. I've got to be strong…For him. He needs me to take care of him. He needs me to protect him. He's not very strong. I cannot cry; I have to be strong for him. But if anything happens to him…It'll be the end of my world. "Don't talk now. Just get some rest."

"Is he alright?" Mary rose from her seat, alarm spreading across her face. She crossed the room to the two men, rising on her tiptoes to look at Misha. His face was white, his hair hanging limp around it.

"He'll be fine." Kamatari said, more to reassure himself than the woman.

"He should go right to bed." She insisted, "I can get a doctor for you."

"No, he will be okay. My Misha is very fragile. He's been sick like this before many times. He over exerts himself and he's not used to American weather yet. I'll take care of him and he'll be fine. He hasn't been resting enough."

"If you say so…" She said skeptically. The young man looked terrible.

"I'll take care of him. Don't worry." Kamatari bustled out of the room and up the stairs, carrying his lover with him.

He set Misha down on the bed in their room, trying to make him comfortable. The boy mumbled something incoherent, one of his hands curling into a fist. It broke Kamatari's heart to see him there like that, so weak and helpless. Misha had always seemed breakable, but he was strong in the sense that he had spirit and he knew what he wanted. It wasn't fair for him to be sick like that.

"Dearest one, please get well soon." The man sat on the bed beside him, brushing the hair from his forehead, "I need you to be well. I need you…" He sniffled slightly, still trying to keep from crying. Gulping back tears, he leaned over his lover, kissing the boy's flushed cheek, "Don't get worse…Please."

"Itoshii…Okamainaku…I'll be fine." Misha smiled weakly, rolling over onto his back to look up at Kamatari. His spindly hand found it's way to his beloved's cheek, touching his face as if to make sure he was really there. "You know I always bounce back…" He coughed, his chest heaving.

"Oh, no…Just lay still, Darling. Please, don't move. You shouldn't have been out. We shouldn't have…Oh, I shouldn't have let you!" The cross-dresser fretted, "Damn your attractiveness! Last night was too much for you…"

"It's not your fault, Beloved." A strangled whisper came from the boy. He was wheezing slightly, trying to catch his breath. "I wanted it. I should have known better, but I wanted it anyway. So please, just stay with me now. I don't want to be alone…"

"Anything you want." Kamatari drew his knees up to his chest, one hand resting lightly on Misha's warm forehead. "I'll stay with you forever." He rested his chin on his knees, his free arm wrapped around his legs. His mind was a jumble of thoughts; the past, present and future were blending together. Anji's Buddhist beliefs flitted through his mind…

Truth One: The truth of suffering.

His thoughts drifted back to all his past miseries. Fights and scuffles with Yumi, stares from people who knew the truth, rude comments, hurtful words, Shishio-sama's ever present reminders that he wasn't good enough. Everything then had hurt so much, yet he had greeted the world with a smile, throwing himself wholeheartedly into everything he did.

Truth Two: The truth of the cause of suffering.

He'd been dreadfully unhappy. He'd hated his life; all of the pining away and lusting after Shishio-sama…It wasn't much of a life to begin with. He'd been living a lie back then, drowning in obsession and unhealthy desires. He had known deep down all along that Shishio would never give anything in return for his undying devotion. This had only caused more pain.

Truth Three: The truth of the end of suffering.

Happiness comes when one finds peace with one's self. There had been no peace with the way things were. His heart had been in turmoil as he wasted away, trying to win the heart of a man who would never love him. His suffering would only end when he found what he was looking for.

Love…

Truth Four: The truth of the path leading to the end of suffering.

Healing came in the form of a slight, willowy boy. Everything with Misha became so surreal; the real world and dreams blending as one, as if they had permanently found that place between awake and asleep. Clarity, inner peace, hope…They all were things Kamatari felt when he was with the boy. He needed the young man beside him; needed him to lead his heart to a place where there was no pain.

Misha was his truth.

He looked back down at the boy, sleeping restlessly. He was under a light blanket, curled up on his side. His fingers were wrapped around the sleeve of Kamatari's kimono, as if he were trying to keep the man there with him. I'm not going anywhere, Darling…Kamatari smiled to himself, I won't leave you here alone. I need to be with you as much as you need to be with me.

*`~

"He looked terrible." Mary turned to Dominick, a worried expression on her face, "Has he seen a doctor at all?"

"No…She won't get one. She says he'll be okay. He doesn't look that much different than usual though. He is such a scrawny boy." Dominick ran a hand through his unruly hair, "Kamatari can take care of him. She won't let any one else near him anyway."

"But he's ill. He needs a doctor…"

"Let them alone. She knows what she's doing. They've been together for seven years; she's been taking care of him since he was a child."

Mary sighed. She hated seeing people suffer when there was nothing she could do about it. She hated the helpless feeling of people being sick when there wasn't much that could be done for them. She wanted to be helpful, but it seemed there was nothing she could do.

"The little boy will be okay. She loves him more than her own life. I've never seen two people in love like that. She'll take care of him until he gets well. Her love will give him strength. I was taught to believe that love conquers all."

A faint smile crossed Mary's face and she felt her cheeks growing pink. He was so incredibly handsome and there he was, speaking of love. It made her feel warm and fuzzy inside and her heart pounded wildly. She'd only known him for about a week, but he seemed so familiar; reminded her so much of home. "That's very uplifting, Dominick."

"Thank you." He said slowly. His heart raced wildly at the sight of her there in the afternoon sunlight, a light blush on her cheeks and nose. She was positively beautiful. Is this what it's like to be in love…?

*`~

It was dark. Misha looked around, trying to finds Kamatari. He didn't see the man anywhere and that scared him. "Itoshii?" He whirled around, trying to find his companion, "Itoshii? Where did go? You said you'd never leave…"

Silence greeted him.

"Itoshii? Onegai Shimasu…" His eyes welled with tears. He was so scared about being alone. "Where are you?"

It finally hit him then. He was alone. No one was going to come. Kamatari was gone. He fell to his knees on the ground, sobbing. "I don't want to be alone…I don't want to be alone…"

Kamatari looked down at his sleeping lover. He was mumbling something and the man wondered what he was dreaming about. Then he bolted awake, gasping out "I don't want to be alone!"

"Oh…Darling…" Kamatari pulled the boy into his arms, hugging him tightly, "I'm right here. I didn't go away…" He buried his face in the boy's hair, "I would never leave you alone."

"Oh Kamatari…Oh, I was so scared." He tossed his arms around Kamatari, his face nestled in the silk of his kimono, "I had a terrible dream that I was all alone and it was dark and…and…" He began to cry so hard he couldn't continue.

"It's okay, Darling. Don't cry. I could tell you were having a bad dream…I felt so helpless. I want you to be okay. It kills me to see you suffering, to know you're not well and there's nothing I can do about it. I need you. I need you more than you need me. You saved my life, Dearest. Without you, I would be on my own." He paused, thinking for a moment, "I'm so afraid that something will happen to you."

Misha twisted in his arms, looking up, his face pale and tear-streaked. "Now you know how I felt, so afraid that you would go and never come back. And all those times…You cried tears for some one that wasn't me. And my heart would ache for you. I wanted you to be mine so badly. And I was afraid…"

"Sumimasen, Anata. I never wanted you to be sad or scared." Kamatari leaned over, his hair falling around his face, craning his neck downwards to kiss the boy, "You know I love you and I only want what's best for you. Now you go back to sleep."

"Will you sleep with me?" Misha asked quietly, "I don't want to have any more nightmares…"

A soft smile crossed his lover's face and he kissed the boy's hair. "Of course I'll stay." He sounded relieved; as if things were no longer so hopeless. "Let me change into something more comfortable, Darling, then we'll go to sleep."

"Daijoubu." The young man yawned, releasing Kamatari. He watched as his beloved found himself a light yukata and changed. His heart fluttered wildly at the sight of Kamatari undressing, but he was too tired to do anything about his arousal.

Kamatari crawled back into the bed, settling down on his side beside the boy. Misha snuggled up next to him, curled up in a little ball. He absently stroked the young man's silky hair, his fingers running across his lover's cheek. "I love you…"

Misha smiled wearily, his head nestled against Kamatari's chest. "Do you remember when you kissed me on the boat?" He asked softly.

"Hai…"

"I was terribly frightened. I didn't know what to do. It was my first real kiss and I was scared, but I wanted it any way. When we made love…I was scared then too. I was afraid of messing up or hurting you or doing everything wrong. I was so scared…"

"Ara, Darling, you could never do wrong. I was scared too. I've never felt this way about any one before."

"Not even Shishio?" Misha drew back a little, looking at Kamatari, a serious expression on his face.

"Not even Shishio-sama." The older man confirmed, "I did love him. Maybe I still do in some way. I don't think something like that will ever really go away. But it's different with you, Dearest One; there's something there that I don't quite understand. Sometimes it scares the hell out of me. I'm afraid of failing you. I never want you to think badly of me…"

"You could never disappoint me." Misha yawned, nuzzling his head against Kamatari's chest, "I love you so much I would forgive anything. I told you. We have a lifetime to get it right. And I will love you unconditionally for that entire time…"

"As I will love you. Now try and get some sleep. I want you to get well." He kissed the top of the boy's head, "Sleep well. I love you."

"…Chaa…" The boy mumbled as he dropped off.

Kamatari continued to stroke the young man's hair, peering through the darkness at the sleeping form of his young lover. He wanted to stay with Misha forever and nothing more for their happiness. After all they had been through, they deserved some peace in their lives.

*`~

AN: EEevee- it was 33 times. I counted ^^;; This fic is so sugary it could rot teeth.

unique-starfish- congrats for being reviewer number 100! *throws cherry blossoms and Aoshi plushies around in celebration*

Mary is my great-great-grandmother. I have no clue how she and Dominick really met, but they were married before they came to America from Yugoslavia (or Hungary…We're not really sure. But it *was* somewhere around there). So I twisted the truth a little for creative purposes…I hope Dom and Mary don't haunt me! *looks around suspiciously*