Cause love's such an old fashioned word
And love dares you to care
For people on the edge of the night
And love dares you to change our way
Of caring about ourselves…

-David Bowie (W/ Queen)

*`~

I don't want to open my eyes…Gods; the sun is so damn bright. I can't…But my head doesn't hurt any more. It feels so much clearer now. Maybe I finally am better. But still…to stay here in bed would be heaven…

"Mmm…"

At the feel of a pair of arms tightening around him, Misharei's eyes flew open. Kamatari had rolled over, hugging him, and it startled him awake. He frowned lightly, blinking against the morning sun, then burrowed down into his companion's embrace. Kamatari was still asleep, his breath coming deep and shallow. A soft smile was on the man's face and he held securely Misha in his arms.

"Itoshii?" The boy whispered, "Itoshii, are you awake?" He kissed Kamatari softly, his lips warm and enticing. He felt his lover tremble with pleasure, and he smiled contentedly. "Ai shiteru, Itoshii."

"…I know…" One of Kamatari's eyes winked open lazily. A slow smile spread across his face and he nestled closer to Misha, "How are you feeling, Dearest?"

"Much better; arigato." Another kiss. Misha had been getting more and more daring as he got more and more comfortable with the more intimate aspects of their relationship. It was as if a floodgate had been opened after the first time they kissed and there was no stopping it now.

"You're sure?" Kamatari held the young man close to him, his face in Misha's hair. The boy always smelled so good. He loved the boy's scent and his taste and everything else about him.

"I'm not sure. But I feel so much better now. My head doesn't hurt any more and I can breathe better. I might not be all better yet, but I don't feel as sick any more. But I think I want to stay here longer. I thought I was well again before and I wasn't. You don't mind, do you?"

"Of course not, Darling. I only want you well. I'll stay here as long as I need to, if it means you getting well." He rolled over on his back and Misha snuggled up beside him, his head on his chest.

"You're so very good to me. I love you so much." Misha looked up at him, a smile on his face.

Kamatari's gaze met that of his lover and he smiled back. Misharei's eyes were clear and bright without that usual haze. He truly was getting better and this made the older man immensely happy. He kissed Misha softly on the forehead, his lips grazing softly across the boy's skin. "I love you too."

"What are we going to do today, Itoshii?" Misha sat up, stretching like a cat. He flexed his fingers; his body was stiff from all the time he had spent in bed. Kamatari slid up into a sitting position and Misha leaned against him, his hand rested on the knee Kaoru had shattered. "How is your knee?"

"Still hurts every now and then. She busted it up pretty well. But you know, I'm glad. I'm glad I lost that fight and glad she and the weasel didn't let me kill myself. I would have missed out on the most wonderful part of my life."

"I'm glad too." One of Misha's hands snaked its way up to Kamatari's cheek, "I do love you so. I would have been lost without you. I need you." He whispered as he kissed the man.

Kamatari looked at him hungrily, his eyes full of lust. "You're certain that you're feeling better, Dearest?" He asked softly.

Misha nodded, wondering what the look in his beloved's eyes meant. His sleepy gaze followed Kamatari as he rose from the bed, wondering what he was doing.

It had begun innocently enough with that kiss. Misharei still had no knowledge of the exact power he held over Kamatari. He was totally oblivious to how much he excited his lover; so innocent and naïve. What started as a kiss, however, quickly became so much more.

Misha watched, almost in awe, as his companion began to shed layer upon layer of clothing. He watched silently from where he sat on the bed, his eyes wide, as Kamatari tweaked his obi, causing it to come loose, the front of his kimono falling open. He drew in a breath as the pale, silky skin was revealed to him, muscles rippling as the silk kimono was drawn back.

He stared, lost in some drunken stupor. This was the first time that Kamatari had initiated anything; usually it was up to the young man to do all the work. He was at a loss, unsure of what to say or do. He was used to being the man in the relationship, the one in control.

"Make love to me." Kamatari said softly, "Make love to me as if it were the first time all over again."

Misha felt his throat constrict. His heart was pounding; he didn't know what to do. A soft whimper escaped his throat as Kamatari crawled on top of him, picking at his clothing. His body trembled beneath the weight of his lover. There was no reason for him to be so nervous; it wasn't like they had never done it before. But something seemed so different this time.

He opened his mouth, but his voice caught in his throat. He managed a little squeak, but Kamatari silenced him by catching his mouth in a kiss. "It's okay, Darling. Don't be afraid. I'll show you love like you've dreamed of." He whispered gently, "You're a good boy, but you're so inexperienced."

"Itoshii…Itoshii, wait." The young man stammered. His eyes were still wide and full of unshed tears.

"I won't hurt you. Just trust me." Kamatari's lips roamed from the boy's mouth to his cheek to his neck, "I love you so much."

"Chaa…I trust you…" Misha finally found his voice, but it trembled as he spoke.

"I'll make you feel good." His lover promised. His mouth had worked its way down to the young man's chest; he was kissing and nipping at the boy's skin.

Misha groaned with pleasure, his body relaxing as euphoria spread through him. He felt as if he were floating. A tingling sensation curled outward from the core of his being. Kamatari was right…It felt beyond good. "Don't stop…Don't stop…" He moaned.

His hands were on the man's shoulders; Kamatari had made his way down to the boy's waist. His tongue swept across the soft flesh of Misha's stomach, circling around his belly button. The ex-Juppon Gatana thought every nuance of his lover's body was beautiful; he wanted nothing more than to enjoy the young man thoroughly. It was odd to him, the idea that he even loved the boy the way he did. He never thought he would get over Shishio and he felt terribly guilty for making Misha wait all that time. Now was the time to make it up. He was going to be in control for once, instead of letting the boy act on his every whim. And it was going to be good.

Misha lay beneath him, his breath coming in gasps as he tried to keep himself composed. His thin body glistened with sweat, his face was flushed and his hair matted to his forehead. His mind was a hazy jumble of thoughts and his heart felt like it would swell and burst, he was so in love. "Kamatari…" He moaned, "Motto…Ai shiteru…"

Kamatari's hands were busy, working expertly, his fingers nimble. He knew exactly what he was doing. He'd done it before, although not quite with so much passion and not quite so meaningful. He knew exactly where to touch, all the right places, to cause the boy to melt into him. He kissed Misha furiously, their nose's bumping together. "Anything you want, Darling."

"All I want is you." Came the whispered response, "All I want is you…"

"You're beautiful, Anata." Kamatari's voice came very low in his ear, a sultry whisper, seductive and enticing. "I love you so; you're beautiful." He was flat on top of Misha, the boy crushed beneath him.

"Iie…You're the beautiful one." Misharei said shyly, his sleepy eyes full of unconditional love, "I'm just a sad little boy."

"Oh no." A kiss; Kamatari's arms were firmly around his lover, "I adore you. You are my heaven on earth, My Love. I thought I would never get on with life and you brought me paradise. Never call yourself a sad little boy again. It makes my heart ache to hear it." He kissed the young man again, tasting heaven, searching for the love his heart had yearned for all those years.

Misha felt like he would melt into the bed. This was heaven, hell and purgatory all in one. How could life possibly be so wonderful? He had never in his wildest dreams imagined it like this. He felt incredibly sinful and naughty, lusting after some one like that. But how could he not, when he was so in love? "Is what we're doing wrong, Kamatari?"

"What do you mean?" Kamatari looked curiously up at his lover. Misha had suddenly gotten very serious and that meant it was time to stop. He hadn't finished, but it was too late. The young man would not allow him to continue. Letting out a sigh, he settled back down on the bed, his arms still around Misha.

"Is it wrong? Is it bad? What would happen to us if the people here somehow found out you were a man also? What would they do to us?" Yahiko's words -Not only is he in love with our enemy, they're both men! There's something wrong with that- rang through his mind. He had never thought it might be wrong before, but everything about America scared him. What would Americans do to him if they found out he was a homosexual?

"Darling, I would never let anything happen to you. I would die before any one could lay a finger on you." Kamatari reassured him. He wondered where this sudden fear had come from, but he knew it was not without reasoning. Americans had different views than the Japanese did. "No one will find out."

"But what if-"

"Darling, My Dearest, please, don't worry. I never want you to worry about anything. It's not good for you, Lover. You're so frail and I don't want you to get sick again." One of his hands brushed across the boy's cheek, "You have to stay healthy."

Misha nodded slightly, yawning. He snuggled up beside Kamatari, nestling against his bare chest. "I don't want to worry, Itoshii. But I do. I can't help it. I love you so." His lips brushed across his lover's satiny skin, "I have always worried about you."

Kamatari rolled over, pulling the boy along with him. Misharei's arms were around his neck, his head against his chest. He loved the feel of their bare skin touching, the taste of their lips together. He wanted to hide Misha away, protect him, keep him safe like he had when he was a child.

"You don't need to worry any more. We'll look out for each other and take care of each other. From this moment on, real life begins."

Misha smiled softly, "That sounds nice." He looked up, his eyes shining. "We will have the best life ever." A pause, "Together."

Kamatari nodded, stroking his companion's long hair. He could smell the scent of Misha, warm, welcoming, like honey and almonds. His hand wandered down to the young man's cheek, brushing against it softly. Then he drew the boy down for a kiss.

I love you more with every breath…