Hello reckless people who venture this far into my fic! This chapter is a
bit rubbish but I am sue the next one will be better so KEEP READING and
review!! Pllleeeeeessseee!!! Thanx to Chi Yagami and Yami-Aj Yu-Yu-
InuCaptor and this chapter is for you guys cause I know you'll read it.
Bakura's dumpster residence....
Bakura was very bored. After all, what fun stuff is there to do in a dumpster? He had
tried counting rubbish, bloodstains, squashed cockroaches on the ceiling, and that had
entertained him for a couple of hours, but then he decided to stop mooching and do
something worthwhile... like go on fan fiction.net. (yeeeeessssss) He went and
poured himself a glass of something the bottle called 'Red 'n Delicious'. "I just love
Red 'n Delicious!" he said happily. "I don't mind sparkling plasma, and I love that
new coca cola vampire export, but my favourite drink just has to be Red 'n
Delicious!!" After Bakura had finished this really interesting little speech to himself,
he went and logged onto his computer. (How come Bakura has a computer? Who
knows? He is a 5000 year old spirit who has no money. Consequently he has never
even seen a computer, let alone the internet. So he has never been on fan fiction.net
so the reason he was going on it now is a complete mystery. Never mind, its just
another case of lazy fan fiction authors who want to get on to the bloody Anzu
murders making computers appear in peoples dumpsters so the story works. What a
mouthful. Must continue.)
"Lets see, fanfiction.net, R rated!! Yaio, yuri, lemons, scandilous Japanese swearing
and buhloooood!!! WHAT???!!!!! YAMI HAS HIS OWN STYLIST??!!! NO
FAIR!!!!" Bakura, you see, had strayed out of the R section and into the PG-13,
where he foolishly clicked on my fic (which he reviewed. HINT HINT!!!) The news
that Yami had his own stylist was the most disturbing thing he had read so far.
Bakura was very resentful of Yami's seemingly perfect hair which was so much better
than his own permanent bad hair day. Sometimes he went to sleep with his head in
the rubbish and dreamed of throwing cannonballs at Yami's hair, in the dreams it was
rock hard and the cannonballs bounced off in glorius slow motion and hit him hard in
the face, he would wake up with his head under a rubbish bin, laughing like a sugar
crazed jackass.
It was time to act. He grabbed his knife and a nearby cannonball and rushed out.
Then he rushed back in and protectively grabbed the bottle of Red 'n Delicious. I
mean, what if Malik came by and stole it?
"Hey, that's not fair!!! Why does Bakura have a section in my story?!!! I demand
you remove him THIS MINUTE!!!"
"Er, Yami, this isn't your story, you know, didn't you read the summary?" said the
stylist, snipping. "Here it is!!!" She shoved a grubby piece of paper in his face. "It
says, 'random hair related incidents in the Yu-gi-oh, not 'Yami's private story about
when his hair gets mutilated, killed and otherwise destroyed, no Bakuras allowed!!'
But if it was your private story, you'd let me in, wouldn't you Yami darling??" she
said, grinning. Yami couldn't see her her grinning because she was behind him,
which was probably a good thing, two of her teeth were missing from when the last
customer had punched her in the face after seeing his hair, meaning her grin was so
ugly it would have stunned a charging Anzu.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY HAIR GETS MUTILATED, KILLED AND...
WHAT ARE YOU DEOING TO IT??!!! WHERES A MIRROR??!!!!"
"Sorry, this dumpster.. I mean salon has no mirrors" said the stylist. "I didn't have
enough money to put them in."
"Oh yeah? And yet you somehow have enough for a lifetime supply of Red 'n
Delicious" said Yami, waving his hand at the endless red bottles behind the counter.
"I know!!! And its so delicious!!" said the stylist, closing her eyes in ectasy and
snipping off a huge spike of Yamis hair, which dropped like a stone and cracked the
floor even more.
"You do know it's blood, don't you?" asked Yami sardonically.
"Blood? Oh.. well.. yeah." said the stylist, who was right now more worried about the
floor. And a little bit about what Yami was going to say when he noticed the missing
hair, but mostly about the floor.
"I know, I'll stick it back on with Malik's hairgel!!" she thought. "Then I can do a
very covenient advert at the same time, and I will get some floor money from the
director!! Kill two Anzus with one harpoon gun!! I'm sooo clever!!!!"
"Yeah right Kimera" the directors boomed out of the intercom. "I'm fed up with your
lazy attitude!! Just for that, you have to advertise Anzus frienship water!! And no
complaining!!!!!!!"
"NOOOOOOOOOO" screamed the stylist whos name was Kimera, and with one
massive snip she sliced off the remains of Yami's hair, which broke the floor into
shards. "OH SHIT!!!!" CUT!!! Hahahahahaha the stylist was me all along!!!! I'm so stupid hahahahahahahahah!!!!! The director's gonna kill me hahahahaha!!! Why am I laughing when I'm gonna die!! Answer, THAT HILARIUS PUN, GET IT, CUT!!!!!! Ok so that chapter wasn't that funny, nor did it have bloody Anzu deaths, but the NEXT chapter will I PROMISE!!!! And if it does not you can kill me if you get there before the director does.
Bakura was very bored. After all, what fun stuff is there to do in a dumpster? He had
tried counting rubbish, bloodstains, squashed cockroaches on the ceiling, and that had
entertained him for a couple of hours, but then he decided to stop mooching and do
something worthwhile... like go on fan fiction.net. (yeeeeessssss) He went and
poured himself a glass of something the bottle called 'Red 'n Delicious'. "I just love
Red 'n Delicious!" he said happily. "I don't mind sparkling plasma, and I love that
new coca cola vampire export, but my favourite drink just has to be Red 'n
Delicious!!" After Bakura had finished this really interesting little speech to himself,
he went and logged onto his computer. (How come Bakura has a computer? Who
knows? He is a 5000 year old spirit who has no money. Consequently he has never
even seen a computer, let alone the internet. So he has never been on fan fiction.net
so the reason he was going on it now is a complete mystery. Never mind, its just
another case of lazy fan fiction authors who want to get on to the bloody Anzu
murders making computers appear in peoples dumpsters so the story works. What a
mouthful. Must continue.)
"Lets see, fanfiction.net, R rated!! Yaio, yuri, lemons, scandilous Japanese swearing
and buhloooood!!! WHAT???!!!!! YAMI HAS HIS OWN STYLIST??!!! NO
FAIR!!!!" Bakura, you see, had strayed out of the R section and into the PG-13,
where he foolishly clicked on my fic (which he reviewed. HINT HINT!!!) The news
that Yami had his own stylist was the most disturbing thing he had read so far.
Bakura was very resentful of Yami's seemingly perfect hair which was so much better
than his own permanent bad hair day. Sometimes he went to sleep with his head in
the rubbish and dreamed of throwing cannonballs at Yami's hair, in the dreams it was
rock hard and the cannonballs bounced off in glorius slow motion and hit him hard in
the face, he would wake up with his head under a rubbish bin, laughing like a sugar
crazed jackass.
It was time to act. He grabbed his knife and a nearby cannonball and rushed out.
Then he rushed back in and protectively grabbed the bottle of Red 'n Delicious. I
mean, what if Malik came by and stole it?
"Hey, that's not fair!!! Why does Bakura have a section in my story?!!! I demand
you remove him THIS MINUTE!!!"
"Er, Yami, this isn't your story, you know, didn't you read the summary?" said the
stylist, snipping. "Here it is!!!" She shoved a grubby piece of paper in his face. "It
says, 'random hair related incidents in the Yu-gi-oh, not 'Yami's private story about
when his hair gets mutilated, killed and otherwise destroyed, no Bakuras allowed!!'
But if it was your private story, you'd let me in, wouldn't you Yami darling??" she
said, grinning. Yami couldn't see her her grinning because she was behind him,
which was probably a good thing, two of her teeth were missing from when the last
customer had punched her in the face after seeing his hair, meaning her grin was so
ugly it would have stunned a charging Anzu.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY HAIR GETS MUTILATED, KILLED AND...
WHAT ARE YOU DEOING TO IT??!!! WHERES A MIRROR??!!!!"
"Sorry, this dumpster.. I mean salon has no mirrors" said the stylist. "I didn't have
enough money to put them in."
"Oh yeah? And yet you somehow have enough for a lifetime supply of Red 'n
Delicious" said Yami, waving his hand at the endless red bottles behind the counter.
"I know!!! And its so delicious!!" said the stylist, closing her eyes in ectasy and
snipping off a huge spike of Yamis hair, which dropped like a stone and cracked the
floor even more.
"You do know it's blood, don't you?" asked Yami sardonically.
"Blood? Oh.. well.. yeah." said the stylist, who was right now more worried about the
floor. And a little bit about what Yami was going to say when he noticed the missing
hair, but mostly about the floor.
"I know, I'll stick it back on with Malik's hairgel!!" she thought. "Then I can do a
very covenient advert at the same time, and I will get some floor money from the
director!! Kill two Anzus with one harpoon gun!! I'm sooo clever!!!!"
"Yeah right Kimera" the directors boomed out of the intercom. "I'm fed up with your
lazy attitude!! Just for that, you have to advertise Anzus frienship water!! And no
complaining!!!!!!!"
"NOOOOOOOOOO" screamed the stylist whos name was Kimera, and with one
massive snip she sliced off the remains of Yami's hair, which broke the floor into
shards. "OH SHIT!!!!" CUT!!! Hahahahahaha the stylist was me all along!!!! I'm so stupid hahahahahahahahah!!!!! The director's gonna kill me hahahahaha!!! Why am I laughing when I'm gonna die!! Answer, THAT HILARIUS PUN, GET IT, CUT!!!!!! Ok so that chapter wasn't that funny, nor did it have bloody Anzu deaths, but the NEXT chapter will I PROMISE!!!! And if it does not you can kill me if you get there before the director does.