And I meant every word I said
When I said that I love you I meant
That I love you forever
-REO Speedwagon
*`~
Sunlight glinted off the snowy white rooftops of the buildings in Steamtown and poured through the window of a small, third-floor apartment, spilling across the bed beneath the window. A mound of blankets atop the bed shifted slightly as the occupant of the nest pulled the blankets further over his head, trying to block out the brilliant morning sun.
The other occupant of the apartment smiled, noticing his young lover's reluctance to face the morning. "Darling, come out from there." Kamatari poked at the tangle of blankets and auburn hair, which was the only sign that Misharei was indeed cocooned inside the mess of bedding.
"Chaa…" Came the boy's sleepy reply. He moved a little more, blankets rustling, so that he was peeking out from somewhere in the snuggly warmth. "It's cold." He yawned.
The older man's smile widened to a grin. "You don't have any clothes on, do you?" His voice took on an amused tone as he teased his lover.
Misha huffed for a moment, trying his best to glare at Kamatari, but only resulting in a wide-eyed stare, his bottom lip stuck out in a pout. "It's not my fault you tire me out and I didn't have the energy to get up and put my clothes back on. Besides, you kept me nice and warm, Itoshii." His soft brown eyes sparkled as the pout gave way to a pleased smile, "You could come back in here with me…"
"Iie, Misha. I need to go soon. I just wanted to see you before I leave." Kamatari sat on the edge of the bed, one hand resting atop Misharei's silky hair. His expression softened as he stroked the young man's reddish-brown locks, finger's trailing down and caressing the boy's cheek.
Misha instantly leaned into the caress, practically purring with contentment. "I wish you could stay with me today." He said softly, "I don't like when you go to work everyday. I feel lonely." He sat up, the blankets still wrapped tightly around his naked body, "I know you need to do it, Itoshii, but I wish…"
Kamatari blinked, long lashes sweeping across his cheeks. Misha was not usually so clingy. It had been a year or so since he started working to make sure they would always have plenty to eat and a nice enough place to live and the younger man had never so much as complained once before. He looked at his lover thoughtfully for a moment, pushing a lock of hair back to study his face fully. "I didn't hurt you last night, did I?"
"Iie." Came a quiet reply, "I just want you here with me. That's all."
The transvestite's brow furrowed as he continued to stare into the eyes of the man he was so deeply in love with. "You are not feeling ill, Misha?"
"I'm okay." The boy's voice was firm this time, "I am not a child, Kamatari. If I were ill, I would certainly tell you. Is it so wrong for me to desire a day with my beloved?" One small hand reached upwards, pulling the other's face down close for a kiss, "Is it so terribly wrong of me to be selfish?" The second question was a dying whisper as their lips met a second time.
"Ara, Darling…" Kamatari breathed, completely forgetting his train of thought. He pulled the smaller man into his arms, blankets and all, holding him close to his chest. "Ai shiteru itsumo, my darling dearest one."
Misha's eyes closed as he snuggled into the warmth of Kamatari's embrace. "As if I didn't know." He murmured. As much as he hated to admit it, he did need to get up and Kamatari did need to leave for work. McKernon-san had been kind to them both at times when Misharei was sick and needed Kamatari, but she was adamant about the "woman" in her service showing up on time for work. Promptness and punctuality were two qualities she valued highly.
"Are you going to get up and have breakfast with me before I go?" Kamatari drew back, once again studying the young man in his arms.
"Can you get me something to wear?" Misha looked pleadingly at his lover, eyes watering and lip pushed out in a childish pout.
"Get it yourself." Kamatari's hand ruffled his hair teasingly.
"Iie; you wouldn't want me to get cold, would you?" The boy's eyes widened slightly.
"I spoil you, you know." The other muttered as he moved towards the bureau. He rummaged through the drawer, looking for something for Misha to wear.
"I know!" Came the cheerful reply.
"Bah." Scowling, Kamatari tossed a garment at his lover and it landed on the boy's head.
"Arigato, Itoshii." The young man chirped. He knew Kamatari wasn't really mad at him. Kamatari was never mad at him. He was just teasing.
Misha pulled the soft fabric off his head, pulling hair down into his eyes in the process. He squirmed into the flannel yukata, knowing he would be plenty warm wearing that. While he and Kamatari had kept with their old style of dress, there wasn't silk readily available and they had gotten creative with the makings of Japanese clothes. Most of Misharei's winter wardrobe was made of flannel, while Kamatari preferred cotton or wool.
He crawled out of bed as he fastened the robe around his waist, wandering barefoot into the kitchen and seating himself at the table. "Itoshii, do you want me to bring you lunch today?"
"Of course I do." Kamatari set a plate before the boy. He again studied Misha's face, noticing the sleepiness still present in his brown eyes and wondering if the boy was getting sick again. "You're certain you're okay, Dearest?"
"I'm fine. It's not my fault you make me tired. You wear me out so easily." The boy rubbed his eyes and yawned, as if trying to prove his point. "Gomen nasai if this upsets you. I wish I weren't so-"
"Don't say it, Misharei. I wouldn't want you any way but the way you are." The older man leaned across the table, kissing his young lover on the forehead. "If you were different, you simply wouldn't be my little Misha." He pushed back the boy's hair, smiling at him softly. "I love you for exactly what you are."
"Sumimasen." Misha's head bowed for a moment, then he looked up, eyes lit with seriousness. "Ai shiteru. I don't mean to worry you."
"I know. Now eat your breakfast and stop fretting over it."
"Daijoubu."
*`~
Misharei took the steps two at a time as he ran to deliver Kamatari's lunch. He loved seeing his beloved happy and at work; he knew Kamatari enjoyed his job and he was proud of him for working so hard to take care of him.
His lover was a salesclerk at McKernon's General Store, a small, family owned business around the block. Kamatari was surprisingly good at what he did; his charming personality and attractive features were a big help in the business. Every one assumed, of course, he was a woman and Misha was his husband and the two weren't about to tell them otherwise, for fear of what would happen if they found out. Most of the customers were pleased with the service the "woman" offered and both men were well liked in the community.
Misha himself was doted on by the motherly woman who ran the store with her husband. Being young and looking even younger, and also still not able to speak or read English very well, McKernon-san had decided she would look after the boy and make sure he kept out of trouble. In order for the young man to have some spending money of his own (used mostly on gifts for Kamatari, just because), she allowed Misha to do odd chores for her, such as sweeping floors, cleaning display cases or running to the post office.
He pushed open the door of the building and paused for a moment when hit with a frosty blast of winter air. It was nearly his birthday -he would be twenty soon- and it was extremely cold in Steamtown. He had spent his first American winter there, along with celebrating his nineteenth birthday there the year before. He liked the little city, in which all life revolved around the railroad depot, even if it was different from his home in Kyoto.
The activity of the bustling street was not hindered at all by the cold; Misha had to be just as cautious making his way around the block as when there was no snow. People were everywhere, children running on their way home from school for lunch, women on their way to do the grocery shopping, men heading out for a noon break. Sometimes the young man was intimidated by the masses, all in a hurry, all speaking different languages that he didn't understand. But he would not be deterred from his job; taking Kamatari lunch was an important task.
"Konnichi wa." The bells on the shop's door tinkled merrily as Misha pushed it open. McKernon-san and her husband knew the boy usually made an appearance around that time of day and both were pleased to see him. No one else would come through that door greeting them in such a manner, not even Kamatari. He saved his Japanese for Misha and Misha alone; to him, it was something special between them.
"Hello, Dear." McKernon-san couldn't help but smile when she saw the boy. He was so childlike, even though Kamatari had informed her he was nearly twenty and enough of a man where it counted, to which the woman had blushed. Misha was bundled up warmly, wrapped in an ancient looking green overcoat of sorts and a pale blue scarf knitted from thick wool. He smiled up at the woman, brown eyes sparkling, cheeks rosy from the cold.
"Konnichi wa, McKernon-san." He bowed politely, "Where is my Kamatari?" Tucked under his arm was the older man's lunch, wrapped up in brown paper, same as always. As a creature of habit, Misharei had a ritual he underwent every time he set foot in the store. He greeted the proprietors respectfully, inquired after his lover, delivered the lunch, then did any chores or errands offered to him.
"He's in the same place as always, Misharei." Came the amused reply.
"Arigato, McKernon-san." Another bow and the boy ran off in the direction of the shelf full of fabrics, trimmings and dress patterns. "Kamatari!" He exclaimed breathlessly, "Here's your lunch."
"Ah, thank you, Dearest." The older man smiled at him from over the counter. "I'm glad you come and see me. I miss you when we're apart."
"I miss you too." Misha grinned expectantly, "Now do I get a kiss before I leave?"
"Of course."
*`~
"Darling, are you happy?"
"I am."
Kamatari smiled at the young man folded in his arms. Misha had his head leaned against his lover's shoulder, his auburn hair down loose and falling across his forehead. He was wrapped in the same blanket that had been his shroud that same morning, his eyes once again blurred by sleep, exhaustion fueled by the more intimate events of the evening. "You don't regret anything?"
"Not a thing." He snuggled deeper in the man's arms, sighing contentedly. They had been together -really together- for over a year and the boy couldn't imagine a better life than the one they shared. He loved everything about Kamatari, from his looks (gorgeous) to his attitude (kind, caring, wise, determined, loyal) to his actions (he would risk his life for the ones he loved) to the way he…Well, Misha loved him unconditionally. He could never imagine being without the transvestite and had never had a single regret about anything he had done in his quest for love.
They were both silent for a moment as Kamatari shifted on the bed, then Misha looked up at him, his eyes lidded, "Are you happy, Itoshii?" He asked seriously. He blinked, a yawn escaping his lips, his sleepy gaze meeting Kamatari's.
"Dearest One, two years ago I was the most unhappy man on the face of the earth. I thought that I was unloved; that no one cared for me at all. I was pining away after a man who didn't love me. And you ask me if I'm happy…" He smiled softly, "For the first time in my life, my feelings are returned." His fingers teased through the young man's hair, "You loved me even when I did not love you and I am so grateful." He kissed Misha, who willingly returned the affection, "I found the most wonderful thing I could ever possess without looking for it."
Misharei smiled gently, his watery brown eyes falling shut. "I'm glad." His spindly arms wound around the other man, "Ai shiteru itsumo. And we will be together forever, ne?"
"Forever." Kamatari nodded, falling backwards onto the bed, Misha -and the blanket- on top of him. "Now that I am yours and you are mind, I would never want us to be apart." He nuzzled against the boy. "Ai shiteru. Eien ni."
"Chaa…"
~Owari~