Disclaimer: These characters are owned by Marvel, etc. I do not own any of these characters. I only fantasize. Don't sue me.
Author's Note: Please review. I feed off of reviews. Without them I would not be living and you would have committed a crime. So review for the sake of one's life and one's happiness. This takes place when Scott and Jean have only been in the mansion for a few months. They are young teens, about fourteen. This is JOTT!!! I love JOTT!!! Logan, Storm, and the Professor included. For more details, keep reading. :) Thanks to all those readers out there. If you like this story, please read others in the X-men movie section and in the Evolution section. Also, if you like this story, please read Pinkchick's stories. They are really good. A special thanks to my sister for helping me carry on with writing stories. Thank you. Thanks to all those readers. REVIEW & ENJOY!!!
My Angel
"You'll get through it. Time will help you. I will help you. Don't worry. Please don't worry."
Scott heard the voice. The voice within his soul. The one he heard almost every night. He had his eyes shut tightly, afraid to open them for fear of destroying anything or anyone in his path.
"It's ok," the sweet voice of a female spoke with generosity. "You can open your eyes."
Scott shook his head with a terrified expression. "No," he whispered. "I can't."
He heard soft footsteps approach him and delicate hands touch the sides of his face. "Why?"
"Fear……it's the plague in people's lives."
"Fear," the voice said with a small laugh. "Don't have fear. In the end, I'll be there for you." The voice spoke with so much passion, so much love. He felt as if his soul was melting into this voice. So slowly.
"I'm my own worst enemy," Scott said as he bent his head down. A tear slipped down his cheek from his shut eyes as he fell to his knees.
He buried his face in his hands. He felt soft hands touch his skin tenderly and take his hands away from his face. She placed her fingertip on the tip of his tear in the middle of his cheek, just barely. The tear stopped falling. It suddenly froze over with ice as she pushed it off of his face.
Scott could hear the loud thud the tear made when it hit the floor. He could also hear it evaporating into the warm air……
Scott jolted up in his bed as he came back into complete consciousness, careful not to move his eyes in an open position. He was back to reality. He laid his head back down on his pillow as he thought of the dream. He wished he could keep it going forever. His eyes were shut tightly as he brought his hands up to his face to make sure the secured wrapping around them was still there.
"Kid," a gruff voice spoke as he knocked on the open door. Scott recognized the voice as Logan's, a.k.a. Wolverine. He hadn't seen how the man looked like yet ever since he met him when he first arrived at the Xavier Institute four months ago. But he always imagined his appearance in his mind. He imagined he had a thick black beard with long black hair, a six foot ensemble, and bulging muscles. Logan had been helping Scott with finding where things in the mansion were and he had a couple of beginning training sessions with him about using his ears as his strength in self-defense. "It's time."
Scott shuddered at those words. He feared them so much, even though he knew that this day would finally come. He knew anyone would be confused as to why he was so afraid to receive the specially made glasses that Professor Xavier had been working on. It's been four months since Professor Xavier had brought him to the mansion, but he's been like this before that. This was so new to him.
Why couldn't he have come to this warm, welcoming place before, when he developed his powers as a small child. Why now, when he was fourteen?
"Scott," Ororo Munroe's voice spoke from the doorway now too. "What are you still here for? The professor is waiting for you." Scott uncovered his covers and hopped out of bed. He grabbed a shirt off of his chair and pulled it over his undershirt.
"Does this match?" Scott asked as Storm stifled a giggle. Logan grabbed his shoulders and led him out of the room, down the hall, and towards Professor Xavier's office.
"Come in Scott," Professor Xavier said calmly and kindly from his wheelchair as Storm and Logan entered behind him. "Come closer." Scott approached step by step, very slowly. His breathing abruptly stopped, and returned with intensity and hardness. This was it. Suddenly, Scott felt Professor Xavier's hands on his wrist. "There. You made it," he said kindly as Scott felt Logan's hands taking off the wrapping around his eyes.
Scott clenched his jaw tightly and squeezed his eyes hard. He tried to breathe easily. Gladly, no one noticed his fast beating heart at the nerve-wrecking moment. The moment that would change his life.
"Are you positive this is safe?" Scott asked with caution.
"Absolutely," Storm said from behind. "We have tested it and double checked many times Scott."
He felt Professor Xavier hand him something that pretty much felt like glasses. He suddenly felt goose bumps form on his cold skin. He tried to give a small smile to Professor Xavier for understanding that he wanted to be the one to put them on, but the smile could not get the courage to appear on his small, now pale face.
The glasses he felt in his hands didn't move. He stood there silently with a blank expression on his face as he heard silence echo in the room. He reached forward to the desk where he had heard Logan place the wrapping from his eyes. He grabbed it and ran out of the room with shaking hands. Leaving his glasses on the floor.
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Jean brushed the red hair that was hanging from a high-ponytail away from her shoulder. She breathed in the warm air through her nose slowly and exhaled from her mouth. She closed her eyes to contemplate the questions running through her head.
Why wasn't I the one that had their life taken away by a speeding car? Why did I have to feel my friend's pain before she died in front of my eyes? She thought helplessly as her green eyes darted left and right across the open green area in front of her. Why do I live? I don't deserve to. The swaying back and forth on the swing intensified as she remembered the horrible images and feelings she had seen and felt this same day, about a year ago.
She stopped her swing abruptly as she kicked the dirt beneath her and folded her arms across her chest to restrain herself from crying. She couldn't. Every time she was alone to remember the terrible car accident she would break out in sobs. Sometimes she cried too much, so she promised herself to control her emotions.
The image that took place exactly a year ago flashed through her head like a speeding bullet. The car had come at such a speed. Jean could not do anything but stare. Could not hear anything but the sound of the fast car's motor. Could not feel anything but the guilt of accidentally throwing the frisbee into the middle of the road and allowing her friend to retrieve it. Could not touch anything but the hard cemented sidewalk that she had fell on when she was trying to race towards her friend. She could not get herself to turn around. She could not get herself to open her eyes, in fear of what she would see. She could not open her eyes.
But when she finally did, her eyes saw bloodshed everywhere. Jean suddenly came back into reality and realized tears were streaming down her face forcefully. Her face quickly scrunched up and her eyebrows knitted with a deep crease in them. Tears started multiplying as she buried her face in her hands and broke out into sobs. She sat there for a long while, sobbing. Sobbing out loud where no one could here her.
No. I can't, a voice suddenly rang in Jean's head as she jolted up. It was a familiar voice that she sensed was nearby. Her telepathy had actually gone smoothly this time around, not the usual everyday chaos she goes through with her powers. Although Professor Xavier was helping her with her telepathy along with her telekinesis, he has only been doing so for the past two months. Not enough to take all the stress and un-controlling feeling away.
She quickly wiped her tears away and sniffed shortly. She looked around to see who it was, when she spotted a boy her age to the side of the wide quad, holding on to the rail of the stairs to help guide him. "Scott?" Jean asked with concern in her voice. She has only known the boy for two months, but he has become a genuine friend. But she felt like she's known him forever somehow, even though he keeps to himself a lot. A trait that they both shared.
She got off her swing and jogged over to where he was stiffly standing. "Hey Scott," Jean said in a less cheerful tone than usual. Scott just nodded as to say hello back. Jean sensed something inside him. Fear. "You want to join me on those swings?"
"Sure," Scott said with slight hesitation. He didn't mind being with Jean at all. It's just that he wanted to have some time alone to sort out everything going on in his crowded mind. But it was too late now to turn back and refuse her offer.
Jean led him to the swings and escorted him to the swing next to the one she had been sitting on. She sat on the swing next to him and to her surprise, sat quiet. She heard Scott take in a pool of air and swallow it silently. She felt a breeze of wind blow past her and her heart felt like something had washed over it quickly and escaped, leaving different feelings behind. "Are you ok?" Jean felt the need to say.
"Yeah," Scott said quickly as he held on to the chains on the side of the swing. The silence that followed the lie that he had blurted out sliced through him like a hot knife through butter. Who was he kidding? He couldn't lie to Jean, not in a million years. "Uhh…no, no I'm not."
"What's bothering you, Slim?" Jean asked with nothing but kindness in her voice.
"I can't do it……"
"You're talking about your glasses, aren't you?"
"How'd you know?" Scott questioned. "Professor Xavier told you, didn't he? Or Logan? It was Storm who spilled the beans, wasn't it?"
"No Scott. No one told me," Jean said as another long silence hung in the air. She had not read his mind. He knew she had not because he knew it was not safe for her to be doing so too much yet. For a few moments Jean just enjoyed being with a friend, even in silence. To know one was there for her. "Fear."
"I……" Scott paused then tightened his jaw. "What if…what if the glasses don't work on me and I hurt someone? The people that are my friends, my only family. How many more people am I going to hurt?"
"Only yourself if you don't put those glasses on," Jean said quietly.
"Jean, you don't understand," Scott started. "I can't, I don't want to hurt anyone ever again."
"Scott, don't be afraid," Jean said with a laugh as she lightly put her hand on his shoulder. "You've shut your eyes for too long. Maybe it's time to face the fear of what you will see when you open them."
Scott suddenly tensed a little for some weird reason and moved his hand to stretch it out. His hand reached out to her tear-stained face lightly as he outlined her feminine and soft features with his fingertips. "Don't cry," Scott said as Jean looked at him, confused. How would he know she had been crying?
Jean moved her green eyes towards Scott's face. She got up and walked behind him. "Jean?" Scott asked as his breathing increased heavily when he felt Jean's hand unwrapping the wrapping around his eyes. She put it in her pocket and gave him a light push to start the swinging of the swing.
Scott shut his eyes tightly, but his body was relaxed. Jean felt a breeze blow by her and she closed her eyes.
Why do I live? The words rang through her head as if she had just been hit with a hard bat. She looked to Scott who was allowing her to push his swing.
She kept her gaze on him for a long while as she held her head high today and smiled……for she knew the answer to that question.
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"LOGAN!!!" Jean screamed with enthusiasm as she giggled over Logan's shoulders. "PUT ME DOWN!!!"
"Oh for goddess' sake Logan, put her down," Storm said with a small grin. Logan nodded at the weather witch and placed Jean on the ground. "Your wish is my command."
"Then go get us some ice cream," Jean said with a giggle.
"Hey Jeannie, I was talking to 'Ro," Logan said gruffly with the tiniest smile ever. Jean noticed he never fully smiled. She couldn't wait until Scott can laugh at it with her.
Scott smiled when he heard the laughter in the room. He felt everyone's presence and bit his lip. Then he heard Jean's voice near him and relaxed. There was something about her voice.
"Go on, remove your hands young man," Jean said sweetly with a laugh as she took her hands, placed them on his, and pushed his away from his face.
She gently placed the glasses on his face as he felt them with his hands. His hands shook slightly as his lip quivered. "It's ok. I'm here. You can open your eyes."
Scott slowly opened his eyes to see a red-head standing in front of him with the biggest smile ever. "Beautiful," Scott whispered as he looked upon a face of an angel.
"What?" Jean asked with happiness in her eyes.
"Um……seeing the light is beautiful," Scott said as he looked around at Logan. Hmm……not as tall as he expected, but definitely muscular. Elegant and nurturing looking Storm and fatherly Professor.
"What did I tell you," Jean said with satisfaction. "Didn't turn out that bad now did it."
"Not bad at all."
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