Disclaimer: The story, Johnny Cage, Sonya Blade etc. all belong to whomever owns Mortal Kombat. Konami, maybe? The particulars all are mine.
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Blade's goon squad led me – and Liu Kang, accompanying me as either a witness or an accomplice – back down belowdecks, and then into a small cabin. Judging by the single, spotlessly clean mattress and the small desk, I hazarded a guess that this was Lt. Blade's room.
"Sit," she commanded, indicating a chair. Obviously used to getting her own way – she's got that whole "aura of command" thing down like a champ. Still, I felt compelled to regain some control of the situation, and I thought maybe I'd try and lighten things up.
"You know, it's not every day that a beautiful woman leads me to her bedroom and expects me to obey her every command," I wisecracked with one of my patented grins. "And never with six other guys watching. Not really my thing, ya know?"
Her expression didn't change, but I thought I saw a sudden blaze of fury fire in her green eyes. I was struck again by how beautiful she was – and then by the realization of how inappropriate that last little comment might have been. She took a step towards me so that the brim of her ball cap was level with my eyes – she was tall, but not quite as tall as ol' Johnny. That didn't make her any less intimidating, by the way.
"Listen up, Johnny. You don't seem to realize the situation you are in. I'm with the US Army, Special Forces, and I'm hunting a dangerous criminal. One who you just happened to have been seen interacting with. Now sit your pretty-boy ass down in that chair and don't try to be clever with me again. I'm going to ask questions, and you are going to answer them. Clear enough?"
Needless to say, I sat down, flushed with outrage. Did she know who she was talking to? I'm the Johnny Cage, international superstar, not to mention one of the fastest and deadliest martial artists in the whole damn world. I wanted my agent, my lawyer, and my publicist. What I got instead, was a good looking woman with a scary attitude and even scarier guns.
"Good. Now, for the record, what is your name?" I was vaguely aware that one of Blade's men was holding a tape recorder next to my head, just outside of my peripheral vision.
"Johnny Cage, international…er, that is, John Carlton."
"Mr. Carlton, you were seen talking with the well-known drug smuggler and crime boss known as Kano." I realized she was talking about old Steel-Mask. "Do you deny this?"
"No, I don't deny it!" There's no way she was allowed to do this. When I got back to the states, I promised myself, she'd be up on so many charges she wouldn't know which was up. "Was I also seen kicking his ass, which should be construed as meaning I'm NOT on his side?"
"Just answer the questions, Mr. Carlton. Why did you initiate the altercation with Kano?"
Was she even speaking English? "Why did I what?"
"Start the fight, Mr. Carlton."
"Because that slimy sonofabitch threatened my associates and insinuated that he was planning on raping my wife! Er, ex-wife. I couldn't let that stand," I explained forcefully. Saying that reminded me that currently the only thing between that plate-faced thug and Sandy was the dubious protection of my manager and my make-up specialist.
"Was that the only contact you've had with Kano since getting on board the ship?"
"Yes! And if I'm lucky, it will stay my only contact with him."
Without breaking eye contact with me, she asked "Can you corroborate that story, Mr. Kang?" Liu didn't say anything, but he must of nodded or something, because she seemed satisfied by his response.
Blade looked up from where she was staring into my eyes, and she nodded at one of the soldiers standing behind me. "He's telling the truth. Let him up." Then she turned back to me. "Thank you for your cooperation, Mr. Carlton. You are free to go. I recommend that you avoid Kano for the remainder of the trip – you have no idea how dangerous he is."
"I'll do my best, thanks," I say, as calmly as I could. After all, wouldn't do to lose one's cool, even after being. "I'm quite dangerous myself," I said, a little bit of bravado back now that it didn't look like she would shoot me on the spot.
"I have no doubt, Mr. Carlton." She smiled tightly at me.
"Call me Johnny, Ms. Blade. Everyone does." Not quite up to my usual standards for a glib remark, but not bad, under the circumstances. She seemed to appreciate the bravado, because her smile became more natural and she shook her head in amused exasperation.
"Really? Well, good luck in the tournament, then, Johnny. You are dismissed. Now get out of here."
The whole squad of soldiers escorted me back abovedecks before breaking out in huge grins. "Man, you are the ballsiest sonofabitch I've ever met. Did you see the El-tee's face when you said that? That was funny, man."
Another one, a slim black guy with a shaven head and sunglasses, clapped me on the back. "I thought she was gonna shoot you on the spot. She was ready to spit fire!"
"'Bout time somebody said that to her." Another guy – black hair, pale, average height, glasses, almost as muscular as I am. "She's been way too serious ever since she hooked up with this unit. Not that I'm allowed to talk about officers like that, but…damn! That was good." He winked at me. "She's hot, huh?"
Ah, kindred spirits. "Yeah, she is," I said casually. "Hey, you all know I'm Johnny Cage, but who are you guys?"
The first guy indicated himself and said "1st Sergeant Joe Henderson. This is Corporal Dyson," indicating the black guy, "Specialist Daniels," glasses, "and Specialists Griggs, Antonio, and Ferris." Three other guys who hadn't talked. "America's finest, right here." I was definitely starting to like these guys – they had that kind of bravado and invincibility that I saw so much in myself.
After chatting for a minute, and signing a photo for Griggs' daughter (who was 17 and madly in love with me, apparently) I excused myself and went looking for my manager, Sam the Weasel. I'd need to pull everybody back to my set of cabins and make sure that we stayed out of the way of that Kano guy. From what the soldiers said (which was damn little, despite my prying) this guy was bad news – ruthless killer, known for his skill with knives and his bare hands, and the head of this huge, evil criminal organization known as the Black Dragon. I thought it sounded like the backdrop for a great movie – maybe I'd mention it to a producer when this tournament was over.
It was only when I got back to my cabin that I realized that Liu Kang had disappeared without saying goodbye.
Well, I'm sure I'll see him at the tournament, I thought briefly. Resigning myself to another day trapped in this tiny cabin with an increasingly bored – and therefore irritating – Sandy, I prayed for the ship to arrive on the shores soon. Then, Lt. Blade and her boys could catch Kano and his criminals, I could win this tournament, and then go back to Hollywood and star in my next movie – Johnny Cage takes on the Black Dragon. That had a real ring to it.