*Disclaimer: I do not own digimon the characters or the creatures.
~Author note: If you are big into the whole Takari bit hopefully this story is half way decent ((Crosses fingers in hope)). To all those who have reviewed my work from pervious writing experiences- Thank you. To those who are willing to read this fic, Thank you too. Reviews are always so nice, and try giving it a try. You might be surprised what I can come up with. Well, I guess I should let you read! Enjoy!
Category: Romance/Drama
**The poem in which this story contains is my own creation. I've wrote it on my own and therefore I put claims to that.
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Things I Wish I Said
When things get tough, do you sit down and cry? Do you pray to god that things will only get better? Does anything really get better? ~Takeru Takaishi
Feeling the suns rays press against my face I closed my eyes and engulfed a fresh aroma of Sakura blossoms blooming in the spring air. Close by was a ranch full of trees, with white and pink blooms spread all across the field from the Sakura blooms that was about to shed out freshly new blooms. Reopening my eyes I gazed around watching the grass slowly move to one side. Wrapping my arms around my legs as I leaned my head against the tree bark I sighed heavily and looked up at the greenery that was spreading on the tree that I sat under. It was like new life for it. Almost like I could feel a presence of happiness and joy coming from the tree. As weird as that may sound, it was the truth.
I looked down at my two books that lied next to me, as the wind slowly began to open the soft covered book that lied on top of the other up and flipped through pages and pages of it. I only watched hopelessly. Feeling depressed and unhappy I looked over and seen two couples holding hands under a different tree on the other side of the street. I felt almost… Jealous. Is that real love that the two couples shared amongst one another? Or is it just something that I consider a fling? Sometimes I wonder, but other times I don't. I can only just smile weakly and go on with my ordinary, lonely, life.
I could feel my heart beat hard against my chest but made no noise as I watched the two laugh and peek one another on the cheek to show their love. How Jealous and selfish I am, I can't even be happy for others to love someone. Was this really what life's all about? Being Jealous? Was there some kind of significant towards this? Does this show that I really have feelings? Is this what it's suppose to be like? How am I suppose to tell? No one's ever told me they've loved me. No one has ever told me they've cared. How am I suppose to know? I've showed kindness and love ((So I think so anyways)) towards other's but why can't they show it back? Has the world actually became this… terrible? No, it's just me that's actually became this terrible.
Slowly creeping my way up from off the ground I wiped my backend off and turned around to make sure no grass particles was pressed up against my rear end or even the back of my legs. Brushing the last bit off I bent over and grabbed a hold of the books that had sat next to me. Gripping a hold of them and raising up I sighed heavily and slumped over with me head titled down, as I could see my blonde bangs flatten down on my forehead. I didn't care, I don't care anymore really. I stopped caring a long time ago. It wasn't like I had a fighting chance to do something about myself. What's happened, happened. I can't change the past. But if I could, I surely would.
I slowly made my way down the sidewalk with my head still tilted in my own little thought. I couldn't help it. I have no real life. I have no life at all. I sometimes wonder if this feeling that fills my heart is hatred and if it is, then why, why do I live to this very day? I just make myself miserable. Doesn't anyone see it anymore? Isn't there anyone that cares? No, I doubt it. No one cares anymore about me. I'm just an ordinary boy anymore. I have no life or hope whatsoever. Why do I have to live? Why couldn't something tragic happen to me as it happens to others?! Is it because god wants to punish me? Because he thinks that I'm not a good child anymore?! Have I really screwed everything up? Yes, I have screwed everything up. Yes this is punishment from god to me. I tried living my life in agony and now look where it has gotten me… a miserable human-being. I only ask for one thing, love. is that so hard to ask for? Is it that hard to say? Why can't anyone answer me? Why does it always have to be up to me?!
I could feel tears pierce my eyes and my nose began to run. I took my fingers and slowly caressed the water particles away from my eyes. I never wanted to live like this. I just wish someone was there for me. Why am I having a hard time with this?!
"T-Takeru?" I heard a voice spoken from behind me. I must of stopped during some time and rested my body against a large willow tree. I sniffled and caressed back my tears. "Are you alright? You've been acting strange for a little while. I'm just…"
"I'm fine Hikari, Just-Just a little tired that's all." I interrupted her rudely wiping away the tears that fell from the corner of my eyes.
"Are you sure Takeru? I'm worried about you. I mean, you are my friend you know. And well I want to know what's wrong. You've been acting very strange lately. Like something has been bothering you. And your crying. Why are you crying T.K?" Hikari asked cocking her head to one side trying to gaze into my eyes with her crimson ones. I felt my heart sake upon her presence.
"Allergies." I muttered with a weak smile. I always could count on Hikari being there for me when the going gets tough. But there are times we don't always talk. She's became more different than what she was when she was younger. She has grown up, just like all the rest of my friends. They've all grown up. Kari was normally busy with extracurricular activities like cheerleading, photograph club, high school newspaper, honor society, almost anything she could get her hands onto. The only thing I had was… basketball.
Placing her hands on her hips I knew I was being examined on closely. "Takeru Takaishi! You are one bad liar! Allergies, Huh, you might wish it was allergies, but I know better than that. Your sounding more and more like Davis almost everyday you know that?! What has been with you Takeru. You know I'm worried sick about you and everything! It's almost like you don't care anymore." Hikari protested as her crimson eyes gave off a more red glow than anything.
"Why do you care Hikari? Why does anyone care anymore?! You guys call yourselves friends? What has happened to all of us?! The digidestines that's what we called each other! What happened to be destined with friendship and hope? Have we all forgotten those things Hikari?! When was the last time we've all really hanged out together?" I yelled feeling rag build within my soul. I couldn't take it anymore. I just… I just want things back to normal. That's all I want.
I could see tears fill her eyes, "I'm sorry Takeru if your not certain of attention! But you have to look at your friends point of view! We have feelings too! And it's not our fault we don't have time to stick together like we used too. So what do you want it to be Takeru?! Huh tell me!" Tears crossed down her cheeks.
Stun was the action I was possibly in. Hikari. The girl I once knew. Crying in front of me. Was this possible? How could I stoop so low. Am I become this thing that's uncontrollable? I couldn't help but drop my books and look blankly at her. She buried her face deeply within her hands. I almost had a notion to reach out and touch her. Just one touch. That's all I really wanted. I couldn't. No, I can't do it. I just wanted to fall straight down and cry, even if it meant to cry right in front of Hikari. I didn't care. I just wanted to be held as much as anyone else did. I could have cared less if someone or anyone in that fact was watching me.
Tears stung my eyes as I muttered, "I'm sorry Hikari."
"Your becoming more and more like your bother has become. Why Takeru? What happened to the boy I once used to be able to get along with? What happened to him? What happened to that heart that was so hopeful and was willing to wait for anything? Have you really changed that much Takeru?" Kari said as she swung her arms out to the side to hit my hand away. I gasped and my eyes widen to extreme. I felt my eyes quiver in fear and remorse set in me.
I tilted my head down in shame, "I'm sorry Hikari." I had muttered, watching people slowly going by, feeling their eyes upon me, upon us.
"What's wrong with you Takeru? Why have you been acting so different?" Hikari asked with a small sniffle while looking at me with wet eyes. It was a question that I wasn't sure of really to tell the truth. I'm just a normal human being. I just want someone there to talk to just like anyone else would like. But my friends are always busy so who can I talk to? Matt is always at band practice, Tai is at college, Mimi… well Mimi is to busy with hair and all of that sort of stuff, Sora is to busy with school, Joe, well Joe would go into this great big detail about everything, Izzy is always working on computers. Yolei is always with Ken, and Davis is to busy to even care about anything. There's Cody, but Cody is normally with his grandfather.
"I guess-I guess I just want to talk to someone so bad that it actually made me kind of depressed all of the sudden and I don't want to be around anyone." I began still with my head tilted down.
"Why do you say that Takeru?" Hikari asked. I felt her hand grab a hold of my own. I felt my face turn hot. Hotter than what it's ever been.
"I-I honestly don't know Hikari. It's like we've all split up and don't want anything dealing with one another. Maybe it's me, but the old way was much better." I muttered as I heard her giggle. I couldn't help but look up. "What?" I said.
She pointed at the top of my head. I didn't know what to think, so I ran my hand through my hair and seen white and pink petals fall. I smiled as she giggled, "Takeru, listen. We're not ignoring you or anything and we're just busy I guess you can say. But you know that we all care for you." Hikari exclaimed to me.
"Ya, your right Hikari. What was I thinking. I guess we can all at least try to find time right? I mean we all might seem so busy but we can try to find some time for one another can't we?" I asked feeling all weight lift away from my shoulders.
"Ya! Hey do you wanna come with me to my house T.K? I mean I don't have nothing planed and all and I was just curious. That is if you'd like too." She asked bending down picking up my books and handing them to me. I nodded to her gesture.
"Sure, it couldn't hurt anything. Plus you can then help me in my Math… I'm kind of falling behind I guess you could say. I'm not a math person." I muttered placing my hands behind my head as we began to walk along side the sidewalk.
Laughing and giggling all the way, I never felt anything so wonderful before. It was almost like a new life. Like a new me. Sure, I've done this with Hikari before, but something felt… different. Maybe it's me. I'm just assuming something felt different.
"You know Takeru, with your quietness lately I figured that you forgot all about me to be honest with you." Hikari exclaimed as I seen to small blush symbols come across her face.
I cleared my throat. "Why do you say that Hikari?" I asked smiling as we came up to her apartment building. It was a large apartment in Odiaba. It was across from where we all used to live. It was actually different going back up to her house after all of us digidestines actually went our own separate ways. The last time I came to her apartment was… when Tai and Matt was in high school and was still arguing over the most stupidest stuff a person could ever hear.
"Well." Hikari began, "it's just that you've been quiet and normally your always ready to go. I guess you can say I've been really worried about you Takeru." She exclaimed as we went on the elevator to the seventh floor.
"I'm sorry Hikari." I said feeling shameful for my actions that I've been pulling. Life has a big toll on people. When they say your life changes in high school they really do mean it changes. I don't know what half the people would do in my case. I guess I shouldn't have become so selfish with myself and also with others.
"It's alright Takeru. But you know if you need anyone to talk to you can come and talk to me. I don't mind it. Even after school and everything. Hey if you want you can just sit in the classes with me." She giggled, "It's not like we talk about anything major in these activities I'm in. They won't mind if your there. Actually, I think you might be some big help." She exclaimed, pressing her finger tips under her chin as she looked up at the elevator ceiling.
"You won't mind?" I asked blinking hesitantly.
"Nah. I don't blame you for being upset with any of us. I actually kind of was jealous of you because well, you was talking to that girl."
"Girl?" I interrupted as my head quickly turned to Hikari.
"Yeah, the other day you was talking to that new girl and well I kind of gotten jealous and I don't know I guess maybe it's me." She said softly, tilting her head down and then smiled up at me, "Well that's in the past now isn't it? So lets start the present off good shall we?" She said with a slight giggle in her tone of voice.
I smiled, "Yeah. Oh Hikari." I said once we reached the seventh floor of the elevator, "She just asked me where the gym room was that's all." I said with a grin spread across my face.
"I kind of figured that once I got home that night. I figured that maybe she was asking you for directions and everything. I mean it's not like you not to help someone out Takeru." She exclaimed.
"Yeah." I exclaimed as we both set foot out of the elevator and made our way down the long stretched hallway of the apartment. "So do you think you can help me in calculus?" I asked as we reached her door and searched desperately for her keys in her jacket.
"Yeah, I don't see why not. I understand the materials pretty well. I mean we both are in the same class. If you ever need any help or anything stop by I'll give you some tutoring." She exclaimed pulling out her keys and inserting a round one in the hole and the door clicked and she opened it.
Slowly walking In and placing her backpack down next to the door she walked towards her bedroom as I remembered it to be. Not as girly but as more sophisticated and more outgoing. "Don't worry Takeru, I'll be back. I just wanna get out of these cloths. Make yourself at home. I'll be back soon." She said walking into her room and closed the door behind her.
I slowly walked towards the couch. I slowly sat down and slumped over. I looked at a picture that was of her mother, father, and Tai and herself when they was younger. Hikari had her hands crossed behind her and her brother was giving her a mean look and her parents both was looking at the two of them with their mouths open as if they was getting ready to say something. I couldn't help but smile at the next picture that lied on the coffee table. It was a picture of me and her when we was in junior high. That goofy hat of mine. I still got that thing but never wear it anymore. Only because I've grown up from it.
As I heard the doorknob of Hikari's room unlatched I quickly sat up start and looked out the window for a brief moment. Looking at the sky that was light blue and the sun crept through the window.
"Are you read?" Hikari asked plopping down next to me. I looked over at her and smiled slightly.
"Hikari, have you ever felt the need to cry? I mean for no reason what so ever? At least you don't think there's a reason." I asked sniffling-gazing over at her.
"Many of time Takeru, why?" She asked puzzled a bit by my question.
"I just… I just feel like crying." I said looking down feeling tears fill my eyes.
I could hear a gasp coming from her. It was a quivering sound, "Takeru." She softly said brushing her hands against my face, "if there's ever a time that you feel like you need to cry you know you can. It's not going to hurt you."
I closed my eyes and reopened them looking at her, "Yeah."
"You just want to feel like a man right?" She hit it smack dab on the head I only nodded to her statement. "Takeru you know what, I think if you can cry your more of a man than anything." She said with a smile. "You know what, this is the Takeru I remember. You was always so sweet and innocent. You still are. That's what makes me lo… like you as much as I do." She stuttered and smiled as her patches of red on her cheeks appeared once more.
I smiled back, "Ya but back then I was considered the biggest cry baby."
"That was all Tai's talk. He was probably just jealous because everyone liked you so much. I sometimes wondered how my bother got to be the leader sometimes." She said with a slight giggle.
"Why's that?" I asked.
"Have you seen Tai lately?" She asked with a laughter, as I shook my head, "he hasn't changed all that much but he's still got his Tai ways with your brother. They fight all the time still. He acts so immature!" Hikari said, "One day your brother and Tai was over when mom and dad was out and they was listening to music… they both got into a big fight over what channel should be played. It was pathetic! I was sitting on the couch watching them poke each other on the shoulder like a bunch of little kids and then Tai crosses his hands over his chest and told Matt that it's his radio and that he can do whatever he wants to do. Then your brother had a comment that was like he was the guest and he should at least have some say so in what they listen too."
"What did you do?" I asked finding myself amused into my brother and her brothers behavior. They always seem to find me amused at the slightest times.
"What could I do. I turned it off and told them both to sit down on the couch. So what do they do… they both sat down on the couch next to one another with their arms crossed in front of them with a baby pouting look on their face and turned their face away from one another. You wanna talk about some pathetic guys… those two are big babies compared to anyone I've ever seen!"
I laughed, "Well at least they haven't changed that much over the time."
"I don't know about that. Tai one day thought that he'd do something different with his hair. Well lets just say his hair isn't brown anymore like it used to be. He had a bad experience with some die. Thinking that he'd put some blonde highlights in. Well, it's not the blonde he wanted it to be."
"Why's that?" I asked making myself comfortable on the couch…
***
As the day past by and night had fallen I yawned. "What time is it?" I asked feeling my eyes grow heavier. As I looked over at Kari.
Looking down at her silver watch that wrapped around her wrist she gasped, "Takeru, it's five minutes past midnight!"
I couldn't tell if my eyes just widen or just stayed the way they was, "Your kidding me?"
"No, you've been here all evening practically." Hikari exclaimed. "You've better get home Takeru. You look really exhausted."
I nodded to her comment and slowly gotten up and stretched my arms above my head, "Yeah your right." I yawned smacking my lips together feeling my eyes droop down.
"Takeru are you going to be alright walking home by yourself?" I heard Hikari ask as I made my way slowly to the door.
"Ya, I should be fine. I wouldn't see how I could get hurt during this time of night. And plus Hikari it's not like anything bad is going to happen. So no need into worrying about me." I said with a small shrug, smiling at her.
"I guess you right." She said wrapping her arms around her body and looked over to one side. She's as beautiful as I remembered her to be back in seventh grade. Her hair straight and still cut off around her face. Her body grown more curves during her ageing process and her eyes… her eyes became sweet and softer than what I once knew them to be. I couldn't help but walk over to her.
She gasped slightly as I grabbed her hand. "Don't worry Hikari. Everything will be alright. I'll call you when I get home alright? If I don't call you at…" I paused and looked at the clock, "One then call to make sure everything is okay, alright? Can you do that." I looked at her in her eyes. They looked glassy but she smiled hesitantly.
"Alright Takeru, I'll do that. But just promise me you'll be careful." She exclaimed, grasping a hold of my hands tightly while looking up at me.
I nodded, "I'll try to be careful." I said playfully with a wink.
"That's not funny Takeru. I just worry about you that's all." She said tilting her head down towards the ground as her hair had fallen all around her face. I slowly tilted her head up with my thump and index finger to get one good look at her before I left. Her eyes glistered in the light, and I couldn't help but feel so joyful, so liked, so much there was to be there that even I couldn't explain.
I slowly bent down and kissed her on the cheek and whispered, "I promise." and turned my back and slowly walked out the door. I could feel her eyes gaze at my back as if it was about to burn an hole of some sort there. I figured that if I turned around I wouldn't want to leave her.
"T.K?" I heard her say. I stopped as I had the door knob in my hand and was about to shut it behind me.
"Ya Kari." I said still with my back towards her as I could feel my heartbeat give a large thump on my chest. As much as I wanted to hear her say the three letter words I knew not to get my hopes up too soon. But to always remember when the day comes… it comes and that will be the happiest day of my life. But as far as now. I know not to expect anything to come to surprise. I've always admired Kari. I've always had something felt for her. Was it love? I'm not to sure. I knew it was something. Something even the gods above probably couldn't tell a person what they felt. I just knew what I felt for Kari at this very moment… it's real.
"I-I…" She stuttered for her words.
"It's alright Kari. I'll talk to you in a bit alright?" I said slowly closing the door behind me. Once closed I leaned my head against the door, closed my eyes and sighed and smiled. My time spent with her was well worth it.
~~~
Walking home, I wouldn't stop yawning. It was as if my body was almost willing to give up and just crawl on a bench somewhere and go straight to sleep. But that wouldn't work, no. I had to keep awake. I don't want to sleep out in the muggy nights air. I kept blinking to stay awake. It was almost moments until I could actually fall asleep.
My eyes slowly gazed down at my watch to see what time it was… It was half past midnight. As I kept my eyes at my watch that's when it hit me…
My body began to ache and I couldn't feel any movement what so ever. My eyes was closed everything was… dark. I tried crying out… nothing. I felt cold, I felt something warm thought swarm around my body as I heard a woman yell for help. What's going on? Is everything alright? How come my eyes won't open? Why can't I move? Why can't I feel my legs? Am I asleep? Is this a dream? Is this a nightmare? My mind wouldn't stop thinking as I heard siren and paramedics arrived. It was minutes later when I felt my body being lifted up. I didn't know what was going on.
"Is he alright? Is he?" I heard a familiar voice, a woman's voice beside me asked.
"We're not sure Ms. Takaishi." I heard one man say.
Mom. That was what ran through my mind. mom, I'm alright. I'm alright. Just get me out of here! Mom can you hear me? Please mom! I'm scared! I'm really scared now! I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's happening. Please mom help me! Please. My mind cried desperately, but no one answered.
My lungs felt crushed, they almost felt like they stopped moving there for a moment. My mind screamed in horror. What's happening to me?! I wanted to see. I wanted to know what was going on. Where was they taking me, what happened.
"He's, he's not going to die is he?" My mom asked as I heard her sniffle and I felt someone grab a hold of my hand and squeezed tightly as I heard sirens began to roar. Oh my head.
"I don't know Mamma'. He punctured his right lung and fractured bones in his ribs and vertebrate, if he lives through this… it'll be a miracle." I heard a man with a deep voice explain. Was I… was I… dying? NOO!
I can't be dying. Not yet. I have so much to live for. I still haven't told Hikari everything! Not yet… Please god not yet! I can't die! I just can't! Please you have to listen to me! I don't want to die! I don't want to die! Please you got to listen to me! If I die now, then, then, I don't know what will happen! I gotta get up! I gotta call Hikari! Doesn't anyone hear me?! Can't anyone listen to me?! Am I oblivious?! I'm scared! I'm so scared and so cold. Please… not yet! My mind cried out. I couldn't die. I won't allow myself to die. Not now. Not until I can get everything out I wanted to say! Isn't there someone that's listening!
"I'm listening." A soft males voice had said. I finally noticed something… a light… ahead was a light that glowed. I could almost touch it… almost feel it… just a little more… there!
"Who-Who are you?" I stuttered looking around as I could only see the brightness of only white light surrounding me and the boy, man, spiritual creature, angel… whatever you wish to call it stand in front of me.
"I am gods angel. Sent to take you away." he exclaimed as he smiled. With his hands together and slowly tilted his head down and look back up, "will you let me take you Takeru?"
"No, please no. I can't die yet. I have so much to live for!" I yelled at him as I could feel tears swell in my eyes. I knew maybe my times come. But not yet. If I can only give it a try. I won't every die! I promised Hikari. I am suppose to keep my promise!
"Yes, we all have things we wish to live for, yours in particular is for that girl am I right? Kamiya, Hikari is it?" I nodded to his question, crying like a baby. Wiping my tears.
"If you remember Takeru, one time ago you even said yourself you wish you could be dead. Isn't that true?"
I paused. I could feel my eyes grow blank, and I could hear people talking in my mind and surgery being done to me. It was all colliding together. I could feel myself even through my spiritual form ach so much. I fallen to my knees holding my chest.
"What is this? Some joke?" I asked quivering holding on my chest.
"No Takeru. This is no joke at all. You see, your not dead… yet. You see, part of your spirit still lives within your body as of right now. And some of you is here… with me. Would you like to see what they are doing to you? Would you like to see everything?" He asked with a monotone voice.
I looked at him slowly creeping my way up to my feet, "What do you mean everything?"
"How things was before, after, and the future. Everything shall be your choice." He said holding his hand out. I wasn't certain if this was some trickery of some sort or if this angel was for real. But the way I felt, the way I wanted things, I couldn't help but to hold my hand out and grasp on to his own.
As a ball of light shot in front of me I could see me and Kari when we was little holding hands, laughing at one another while picking flowers on top of a hill.
"Such a young beauty isn't she? You always enjoyed her company." I heard him say as I slowly walked over to her and… me.
"Come on Hikari! That's not far!" I heard myself whine looking over at her with my blue eyes.
"Why isn't it Takeru?" She exclaimed sticking out her tongue at me and giggling.
"I don't know, it just isn't!"
"Hey you guys what are you doing?" I watched as Davis slowly waddled his way over with his pants dragging the ground as he slowly begin to trip on the bottom of them, "Whoa, whoa, whoa…" Thump. Rolling down the hill I watched me and Kari go after him.
"Davis. Davis! Are you alright?!" I heard Kari yell. We was just about five years old. I didn't know I knew Davis at that age.
"See, you have even forgot that you knew the young Daisuke." The angel said coming up to my side.
"I remember this, I wanted to pick that red flower that was in Kari's hand to give to her. But instead she picked it and gave it to me. That's what we was arguing about. I didn't know…"
"You didn't know what?" The angel interrupted rudely.
"I didn't know that before Kari and I became digidestines that we knew Davis. I wonder if…"
"Kari remembers?" Again he interrupted rudely, "Well, of course she does. It's you and Davis that doesn't remember. Kari always tried to get you two to become friends. But it was more like rivalry. You two was suppose to end up as best friends." He immediately said looking down at a watch that wrapped around his waist, "Well we shall be heading off again."
"No wait. Not yet." I said holding my hand out towards the three children as they all gathered around.
"To late. Times up here. On to the next time! When you was… ten." He said grabbing a hold of my hand as I starred out blankly.
As we came to the next destination I looked around. Noticing that it was the park… what was we doing at the park. That's when I seen Kari waiting under a Sakura tree. "What is she doing under there?" I asked pointing.
"You'll see."
As I waited, here came a blonde hair boy. Holding what looked like a dozen books and sat them down beside her.
"There. You'd think for what we plan on doing it wouldn't contain all of these!" he said plopping down right next to her.
She giggled, "Whys that Takeru, getting Tired?" I smiled watching me and her each grabbing a book pointing at pictures.
"I wasn't even old enough to really understand what all those words meant so me and Kari just pointed at some of the pictures that was in them. I guess that's how we both actually learned. We both was to fascinated with pictures and then we tried to say a few words that ended up in a mambo Jumbo mess." I said to the Angel.
"Yup, that's when Davis accidentally came over and spilt his milk shake all over you. You got so mad at him but when you seen Kari laughing you sat down and laughed with her." He exclaimed. I couldn't help but glance over at him.
"So you've been watching me this whole time?" I asked. Then realized that Kari ran over towards me. I couldn't help but smile but then that's when it happened. She didn't notice I was standing there. She ran right through me. My body stun for a moment, like my breath was taken.
"I have been watching you Takeru. That's why I'm considered… your guardian angel." He said gripping a hold of my arm and added, "Looks like we have to go quickly."
As the light came faster than ever I noticed that it was me, just a few hours ago… at Kari's house. Sitting there talking and laughing with her. That's when I realized something. "Everything that I've ever had. Was dealing with Kari." My eyes gazed at myself and Kari as they talked.
"Your right Takeru. Would you like to see what's going on now?"
"I-I don't know. If it's as hard as this. I don't know." I muttered feeling my palms turn sweaty.
"Come Takeru. Let me show you." The angel gripped a hold of my arm once more and I was standing there. In the hospital. Looking at myself lying on the bed lifelessly.
"What-What happened?" I asked slowly walking towards myself. Seeing bandages wrapped around my head and my chest. My hand had bandages from my thumb to what looked like my elbow.
"You was in a car accident Takeru. You didn't know what hit you. The sudden impact was so fast that it knocked you out."
"Am, am I…"
"Dead? Not quite. You still have some life. But barely." He said tilting his head down.
" Will I…"
Die, that's your own choice. I'm just here to give you a detour of your life from the past to the future." He exclaimed raising his head up to see a person walk in. Crying harshly.
I turned to see Hikari standing there in front of my face. Crying, just crying her heart out. I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. Not me, but her.
"T.K." She muttered taking a seat next to me in the room and gripped a hold of my hand that lied lifeless at the side of my bed, "please T.K, don't die. You can't die. Not now. Please T.K" She said crying in my hand. I couldn't watch anymore. I turned my head to see the heart monitor slowly giving my heartbeat.
"T.K there is something I have to show you though. It's from Kari. She made it. It's a few days from now. But I think you should read it." The angel said searching desperately in his pockets of his… white gown. You'd never expect angels to have pockets but… they do.
"What-What is it?" I asked hesitantly as he slowly handed me a piece of paper.
"It's a poem that Kari made just for you." He said.
I opened it as I began to read it:
Running through those bushes,
Holding your hands
Don't you remember
Those one night stands?
Your eyes so soft
Your heart so sweet
Don't you remember
All the times we meet?
Under the stars
Under the moon
Don't you remember
The first step you took?
Your eyes gazed in mine
Your heart so amazed
Don't you remember
The night we sang.
Have you forgot all those things we once shared?
Have they really disappeared into thin air?
Can't you remember?
The first time you met up with me in the hallways of our Junior high year?
Have you forgotten everything?
Can it be really true?
When love is there
Your heart will never disappear?
I won't forget the words you told me
You'll never forget me
Whether you lost all memory
Or all sight
You'll always be there
Have you really forgotten your promise?
You once told me
You'll always be there
Whether I'm scared.
Where are you at now?
I'm so scared.
The chills running up my spin
It's not suppose to be this way
Your suppose to be here.
I'll never forgive you
Not until you remember
I can't look at you
Your eyes are blank with no sight.
You promised me
You won't give up on me
So where is your promise at now?
You've gave up on yourself.
What am I suppose to do now?
Am I suppose to cry every day
Every time at night?
Is that what you want me to do?
Is that what you want me to say?
Can't you see…
My tears swell and I weep.
Rain falls hard on the roof
I just want to scream
My eyes so red
My heart feels so dead
Can't you see?
How much pain this is causing me?
Am I considered Jealous?
Am I considered a brat?
What am I?
Please tell me.
Why can't you just wake up
Just at least for one night?
Just to say…
Everything is alright.
Is it that hard?
Is it that complicated?
Why can't you wake up
I want to see you one more time.
Please don't make this complicated
Please don't take this from us
Please I'm almost down on both knees.
Crying so hard
Not so sure
What's going to happen
In the near future as far as I'm concerned.
Please don't leave me
Please don't leave this world
I don't know what I'd do
Without you in my arms this very night.
It was never suppose to happen this way
It wasn't suppose to end this way.
I just want your eyes to awaken,
As if you was asleep and wanted to see everyone.
Do you know how much I care?
How much I should be the one beside you, lying there?
You shouldn't be going through all of this pain.
Not today, not ever.
Please don't give up on me
And I won't give up on you.
Promise me you will see if you do…
The light that guides your way.
When that guidance finds you
The first things you'll know…
I might of not ever say it…
But the three little words that I wish I did
A long time ago.
Has it really ended?
Has it really came down to this?
How can you be gone yet?
I can only wish it was me
Who took the plunge to eternity.
Life to my very own death.
You was close to ones heart.
My heart…
I won't forget you.
Please remember that one of these sometimes…
I'll meet up with you…
Maybe not today
Maybe not tomorrow
But when the time comes
Promise me you'll be waiting…
Promise me you'll be there.
Promise me you'll be standing by the opening
By that one gate…
The gateway to paradise
The gateway to heavens light.
I'll never forget those words you said
That one night
You sat and cried
Before my very eyes.
Am I suppose forgive you?
Am I suppose to handle this?
Your promises was so deep
Your love was so sweet.
Now I'm not looking forward
To the days to come
And the nights that goes.
Can't you see
The pain all of this is causing me?
Am I oblivious to your actions?
Am I just another person with no emotions?
Don't you see…
What you truly mean to me?
Please don't go.
Please stay.
Let me be the one
To take your place.
You don't know what you mean to me
You don't know what you are to me
You are everything I could ask for
You are the one I wish I could be.
Your friends cry
Your mother weeps
Your father and brother turns away
Just to cry in so little shame.
Don't you see?
How much I want you?
How much I love you?
Please come back to me.
Tears stung my eyes. Crumbling the piece of paper in my hand and crying hard I said, "Tell me there's no more. Please tell me there's nothing else you want me to see. I don't know if I can handle this." I sobbed, feeling the angels hand press on my shoulder.
"There's more." He said.
"Do we have to?" I choked out loud.
"If you wish not too." He said with a small sigh. "But have you made your choice up yet?"
"No." I cried out.
"Then we have to see more. You have to be brave T.K. Listen to what Kari is telling you…"All things became mute. I could only hear the sobs of Kari crying.
"T.K, I know your braver than this. I know you're a lot better than dying on me. Please T.K I-I don't want anything to happen to you! There's so much I want to tell you. Please! Don't do this to me! I need you." Her words was somewhat hard to make out but enough for me to understand. I nodded wiping away my tears that fell from the side of my face.
"I'm ready." I muttered as I noticed in no time we was already in the future. I watched kids play in a backyard wondering what was this.
"This T.K, is your last one. See those children over there." He pointed.
"Yes what about them?" I asked watching a blonde hair girl with my eyes run around playing with a basketball away from her brother.
"Those are yours." He said with a smile.
I shook my head. My, my children. "Hikaru Takaishi, be nice and play far with your brother do you understand me young lady?" I heard a woman's voice call out.
"Is that…"
"Your wife? You better believe it. And you want to know something, your daughter, will be just like you." The angel said with a smile.
"This isn't a bad life." I exclaimed happily.
"No, but wait until you see yourself."
I looked over to see me, or a person that's suppose to be me five years from now. "That's that's me?" I exclaimed.
"Yes it is you."
"Is that what the accident caused to me?" I exclaimed watching myself slowly ease my way up to my wife.
"Yes it is. But if you are want to…"
"I want to live. It's worth living! I'm not giving up a day to see my children not play basketball or anything else. I want to live. I don't care what it costs me when I get back. In pain or anything. I don't care! I just want to be with her!" I pointed at the woman standing with a dish towel in her hand. I knew exactly who that was… Hikari. My wife.
The angel smiled, "If that's what you want."
"Wait!" I cried out. The angel stopped and looked over at me, "There's always miracles isn't there? I mean I can change that around can't I? I mean walking?" I asked.
"That's all up to you Takeru." The angel said and slowly walked away out of sight.
"WAIT! What am I…"As I began to talk a big ball of light banished before my eyes I felt a tremendous pain in my chest as soon as it happened. It hurt so bad that I could feel tears fall to the side of my cheek.
"T.K… Please wake up, I love you." She said resting her hand in my own.
I slowly opened my eyes and felt tears of joy and pain stream down the side of my face. I tried to speak but only gasped a large air filled my lungs. I struggled for a moment but calmed down. I slowly turned my head and looked at Hikari as her head was buried deeply on my bedside. I tried squeezing her hand but it wasn't much of a squeeze. Nothing much for her to really feel.
I slowly opened my mouth, and muttered Hikari's name. I wasn't sure if she heard me but as soon as she risen her head, I knew for a fact I wasn't dead.
"T.K." She muttered, tears still streaming down her face a smile was given and a choking sob came out.
"Hey." I said inhaling a large amount of oxygen.
"Shh." She said to me rubbing my hand, "Don't talk."
"Kari…" I began feeling a sharp pain insert through my ribs. "I want to… I want to tell you something."
"No, not right now T.K. You need your rest." She sincerely said.
"No I got too. I want to tell you, I-I love you and I'm sorry." I muttered.
"Sorry for what." She spattered out still tears streaming down her face. I slowly let my hand free from her grip and slowly wipe a tear away that made it's way down the side of her cheek.
"Sorry that I didn't call you."
"T.K, rest alright. Don't you worry about that. You just sleep alright? It's been two days since you've been in the hospital sleeping and everything. You need to build up your strength." Kari exclaimed. Two days of sleeping… wow. I didn't expect to wake up two days later. Such a strange matter but that's not important…
"Kari, I want to tell you, when we're together and everything lets not name our daughter Hikaru. It's to close to your own name alright." I smiled inside the mask and eased my hand down on my wet sheets.
"Daughter?" Hikari gave a confused expression.
"Don't worry about it." I muttered feeling my lips become dry, "Kari, I-I won't be able to walk."
"Don't say such a think Takeru." She said with a gasping cry.
"It's true Kari. But, Help me to walk. I want to walk. I want to be able to hold your hand, walk down that isle with you when we get married and be able to do all the things I wish I could of done and say to you a long time ago. Please Kari, I want. Your. Help." I said feeling exhausted from speaking. And a sharp pain from my chest gave in.
"I will T.K. I will." She said with a smile and moving strands of my sweaty hair pieces from my side as I slowly fallen asleep. "I won't let nothing like this happen to you again. That will be my promise." She whispered in my ear. "I love you."
The End…
Author note: I'm hoping ((HOPING)) This fic was at least somewhat sad. If not I didn't do my job… dang. But this is all up to you all of what you think of my story and everything. Please give me a review, and tell me what you think. I don't know if I've improved or what. It's been so long since I wrote a takari… that, I don't know. Well any criticism is allowed! Thank you for reading!
Please Review!!!