A Fullmteal Fanfiction
By asa-chan
Note: This is a humor drabble. Don't take this seriously. Also this fic isn't proof-read. Sorry.
Warning: PG, bad humour, hints of shonen ai
Disclaimer: Don't own it.
___________________________________
The day after he passed the National Alchemist Qualification Exam, Edward Elric, youngest Alchemist who ever passed the exam, found himself standing before the desk of the Lieutenant Colonel Roy Mustang, eagerly awaiting the silver clock, the sign of being a National Alchemist.
Mustang with a frown on his face, opened his drawer and took out the clock, gazing intently at it. He furrowed his eyebrows, but mentally he was smirking.
Roy looked up and threw the clock at the blonde in front of him. "Here, take it!"
"Eugh!" Edward struggled to catch it and gazed at the gleaming silver object in his gloved hands, awestruck.
'Finally', he thought and let out a sigh of relief.
Edward looked up and smirked nervously.
"Isn't there a more dramatic way to give it to me?" He asked, clutching the clock tightly in his hands.
"Congratulations. You are now officially a dog of the military." Roy replied evenly, his eyes focused on the report in his hands, ignoring his charge. 'More dramatic? You can have that. Hehe.'
Edward gulped, a pout on his face, 'Assed Bastard.' He thought, sulking. Then he shrugged and slowly opened the clock, wanting to see the inside.
"Lieutenant Havoc, guide him out." Mustang said, eyes darting up from his report, watching the golden-haired boy.
Ed froze, after fully opening the clock. His right eyebrow twitched and he started to shake slightly, a vein popping up.
'One, two three..., here it comes' Roy counted.
"You perverted pedophile! I hope you burn yourself to death, you bastard!!!" Edward screeched, blushing to his roots and threw the clock at Roy's head with his right arm, so that Roy was knocked back, almsot falling off his chair. The blonde turned around, huffing and stomped out of the room, muttering things like pervert under his breath.
Roy snickered slightly, clutching his head, but stopped after seeing Hawkeye's face, who had picked up the clock. "Chusa." Hawkeye deadpanned and slowly took out her gun.
"Hehehe, it was just a joke...?"
Havoc who had watched the whole spectacle, shrugged his shoulders and looked curiously at the open clock. His cigarette fell out of his gaping mouth and his eyes nearly bulged out of his head.
Inside the lid was a picture of Roy without a shirt on, winking suggestivly. On the picture stood: Whenever you feel lonely, think of me, call me and I will make your dream come true. My number is: 666-777. I can't wait honey. Smooch.
-------------------
And the moral of this story? An author, who likes weird humor and Yaoi, should never write a FMA fic, after watching Mounty Phyton. This sucked. I know.