It was 1985 and everyone was walking around talking about this new
kid named Winston Winston the third. I myself was quite taken aback with
the news of this Winston Winston. What in the blazes indeed. I later found
that he was a Phsyical Jerk. Yes, a Physical Jerk. He watched everyone and
everything. I wrote him a note and hastily slipped it into his hand, he
blushed and kept walking. I told him I had loved him. I mean truly I had
known him for all of 10 seconds so this had to be true love. I met with him
earlier and showed him my pet rat, Lindsay. He screamed in horror and
chopped off Lindsay's head. I mourned the loss of this beloved friend and
started to sing, "Underneath the Popcorn Sprinkled in Coffee Tree, I sold
you and you bought me on sale in a two for one special, blue light might I
add..." Suddenly I heard him say "Po=po=ineeks=ser" I GASPED! For this was
the sign that he was a Phsyical Jerk. I cried my eyes out and realized that
in the land of the blind, the one eyed man was king. As I walked down the
prole street I saw a very old and particularly ugly prole named Lindsay.
She was messing many teeth and seemed to be in some kind of stupor. She
shouted TO THE PLACE WHERE TIME HAS NO END and ran into a wall, I kept
walking in fear that the old hag may try and kiss me. And so that day I
learned many valuable lessons, the most important being if the gate is
locked while heading to the track try and fit through the small opening
instead of walking through the opening next to it. I also learned to eat
everyone else's food and make my excuse for not running seem dirty. So
please, don't be alarmed, I am fine.
