Rikku: I didn't get much reviews for the last chapter, but oh well; it seems that since it had taken me awhile to finish chapter 8, people had forgotten about my fic. But I don't want to seem like I want pity or I'm begging, so.... on with the chappy!!
I do NOT own InuYasha.
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Chapter 9: A Disturbing Dream and Denial Starts as Strange Emotions Arise
Rikku: Before I start I should say that Kagome's dreaming, ok?
~*~Kagome's Dream~*~
Kagome, a lonesome girl wandered through a deep forest with her head in the clouds.... all alone. She was in her school uniform which was strange, since she wasn't in it before. Something didn't seem right, something about the forest looked.... old. It looked as if she had traveled 100 years back or something.
**BONK**
Absent-mindedly, she walked into a tree and banged her head on the hard bark, cutting her forehead. Waking up from her absent state she shook her head and buried her face in her hands with pain. As she withdrew her hands from her face she noticed blood on the tips of her fingers. It was extremly awkward, the place she was in, the feeling she felt.... and just then she realized it was a dream. 'But...' she thought. 'If-if this is a dream, then how am I feeling pain?' She was confused, lost, scared... lonely. But she continued on walking, following the only path that laid before her. She place a finger on the cut and quickly pulled it away as it bled more. For a small cut, the pain was extruciating, and as the blood dripped down her face she cupped a hand on it. She began to run, when she noticed that it was no ordinary cut, it was deep... and the pain..... she needed help, or she would bleed to death... (Rikku: Yes, it did bleed that much....ouch!) Kagome was now speeding through the forests, the trees on her sides were all blurred to her vision and her legs were sore, she was in search of a town..... of anything or anyone that could aid her....
But that wasn't what she found, there she stood on the tip of a hill, her eyes widened... shocked of what she had found. Instead of a town or a nearby inhabited house she found a village.... but there weren't houses, there were huts (Rikku: I don't know the proper name, please don't sue me, I'm innocent!!! Well, not really...) and the people that lived there- the villagers- were dressed in unusual clothing. The women were either carrying buckets of water, picking crops or taking care of their children. The men were armed with bows and arrows, spears and some of them had kitanas. It was so..... strange.
"What the hell? Where am I? Wh-what's wrong with all these peop- AHHHH!!!!" Kagome had slipped down the steep hill and landed flat on her hace. All the villagers had turned their heads toward her as she got up quickly, once again, cupping a hand on her cut. 'Ow....' she thought. 'How embarassing....'
The villagers blinked twice and the whispering started.
"Who is she?"
"What is she wearing?"
"Pfft! Kids these days, so clumsy!!" (Rikku: Sounds familiar, ne?)
"She's cute!!"
"Enough...." said a calm voice, discontinuing any further comments from the villagers.
Kagome watched as the town's people made way for an old woman to walk through. She had an eye patch on one eye and wore strange clothing made of red and white cloths. (Rikku: Guess who!!!)
"Who are ye?" she asked Kagome.
Kagome gulped, who was this woman? "My-my name is K-Kagome...." she finally said.
She gave her a stern look. "Tell me Kagome, have ye ever encountered a woman named Kikyo?"
'Kikyo?' Kagome thought. 'How does this woman know her?' "Iie..." she replied. "I have only heard about this Kikyo.... never seen her, I believed she has died."
The woman nodded and studied Kagome for a while. "Your wound..."
"Huh? Wha? Oh!" Kagome had forgotten about her cut and the pain because of the villagers, it seemed to have been bleeding a bit more. "Oh, this.... ya, well it's nothing but a small cut..."
The woman gave Kagome a concerned look. "But you should still get that aided.... come with me."
But before Kagome could take a step, a strong breeze swept by the grounds and everyone had their heads lifted, eyeing a man in red robes, dashing through the skies.
"It's InuYasha!!!" a man cried, causing women and children to shriek in horror.
'InuYasha?' Kagome thought. 'Th-that's InuYasha?' She eyed the man for a bit, but she couldn't see his face properly since he had landed on the tree furthest from her, he was watching all the villagers scream hysterically and run madly like it was all a joke.
"Quick child!" The old woman cried to Kagome. "Hurry up and follow the village men, they shall take you to a safer place."
Kagome nodded, not knowing why she would want to be saved from InuYasha, but thought that it would be wiser to follow the strange people. She ran toward the men, whom were waiting for her, but just as she reached them something rapidly swooped down to her and lifted her from the ground. "Wh-what's going on?" she shrieked, watching the villagers as she drifted away from them. But as she directed her eyes to what was carrying her away from the ground she saw nothing but silver and red. 'Am I in the arms of InuYasha?' she thought. 'But this InuYasha seems different.... and what is he doing to me?'
"Shut up Kikyo, I'm finally gonna get my revenge...." said InuYasha's voice.
So it WAS InuYasha.... but it couldn't be the same InuYasha she met before. 'Kikyo?' Kagome thought. "I'm not Kikyo! My name's Kagome!!! Don't you remember InuYasha?"
"Feh! Don't talk your way out of this."
Kagome blinked. "Whadda mean?? And what revenge?"
"Don't act dumb Kikyo.... you left me a few years back for that pathetic village, you left me to wander the empty forests alone... for all those years, well now you're going to pay...."
Kagome decided not to talk, she was frightened about what InuYasha would do to her and wondered if THIS InuYasha was in love with Kikyo and if her departing with him and caused him heart-break. If so, then.....
"Ok, we're here." he said, setting Kagome down. He looked to the ground and started to speak, not even looking at her. "All those years.... and now I finally know that you are nothing to me.... though you once were my love, I can't forgive you for what you've done...."
Kagome gasped. Once his love? So she was right.... maybe this InuYasha didn't know that Kikyo had died yet. "InuYasha..." she spoke.
"Kikyo, I already said-" but he stopped scolding her when he had finally looked up. "Y-you're not Kikyo!"
Kagome sighed. 'About time....' she thought. "Iie, I'm not, I'm Kagome. KA-GO-ME!! Can your little brain handle remembering that or is that too much I'm asking for?"
"W-why didn't you say anything?"
"I did, you just didn't believe me."
"Feh! Then I have no use for you, I have to find Kikyo."
"Well, she's dead so you might as well give up, you don't need revenge now." Kagome blurted. She couldn't stand InuYasha talking to her like she was nothing compared to Kikyo.
He blinked. "And how do you know that?"
"Y-you told me..." But just then she realized that it wasn't the same InuYasha she met before. "I mean, the villagers told me...."
"Well don't gloat because I don't believe you, so get outta my business and don't worry.... I'll find Kikyo."
"T-then you still love her, don't you?" Kagome felt her eyes water but she held back the tears.
"Didn't I tell you to get outta my business?" And that was the last she heard from him as he turned to walk away.
Kagome blinked and felt her tears fall from her eyes. Even if it wasn't the real InuYasha this all meant that the real one still had feelings for Kikyo.... but InuYasha DID tell her something like this, just not in the same words. His story of Kikyo had made it obvious that he still loved her.... but Kagome had refused to believe it.
And just then something snapped and she felt the floor spin, before her eyes was no longer the mysterious place she had gone to, but instead a mixture of many colours and flashes of light.
~*~End of Dream~*~
She felt her eyes open and found herself in her room again. The cut and pain was gone, like it was erased or something. But she quickly came to her senses when she finally heard the loud bangs that had been sounding for what seemed like a century; someone was knocking on her door fiercely and impatiently.
"I'm coming...." Kagome mumbling. She slowly got up from the bed and made her way to the door, opening it to reveal an angry mother.
"Kagome Higurashi!! Have you been asleep? I have been calling you for the last 15 minutes, it's dinner time young lady. You do not want you're food to get cold! Especially after I spent all afternoon making you're FAVOURITE!!"
Kagome groaned. "Hai, I've been asleep and I'm not hungry, ma. Just save my plate in the fridge or something."
"Kago-"
But she had slammed the door in her mother's face before she could finish with her scolding, without a care. Kagome sat down on the edge of her bed, with her head lowered, studying the floor. That wasn't an ordinary dream, the pain was real, and she had felt every other feeling too. She clutched her bed sheets and shut her eyes tightly as tears dripped. Her dream...... why was InuYasha so desperate to find Kikyo? Why didn't he know Kagome? And if he did, would she be nothing to him? Was it all a sign? And most importantly, WHAT THE HELL DID IT ALL MEAN!?
Kagome felt as if her emotions were going to cause her to burst. She buried her face in her hands as she sulked even more. She wondered why she felt that way though. "What could this all mean?" she asked herself. "Why would I feel this way just because InuYasha doesn't care? How do I even know if that really WAS InuYasha? I was only telling myself that it wasn't because I was afraid that it was...."
Kagome thought for a moment, she needed something to answer all her questions with, and then something (once again) snapped. She hesitated but then pulled out her diary from under her bed. "Maybe it's about time..."
She flipped through the pages rapidly until she reached a blank page, grabbed a pen from her desk and began to write.
"November 15th..." she started. "Dear Diary, It's been awhile... I haven't been able to express my feelings and emotions like before, I've changed in a bit. I guess you can say I got bored of life, about everything that was once so 'exciting', well that's what I thought until I met 'him.' His name is InuYasha, and he's not like any other boy I've ever met. He's strange, but in a cool kind of way. I have to admit, he is arrogant, and has an ego the size of Texas. He doesn't get along with Sango, or anyone else for that matter. Everyone else, except for me. Well, that's what I thought until he revealed the truth about his past and a strange dream I had..."
She continued writing about Kikyo and the dream. Half-way through she found herself holding back tears and confused once again. Kagome had turned to her diary because she had thought that explaining her feelings in words would help her understand what she was going through, but she was wrong. Kagome had become even more depressed when she found the truth in her words.
"....and maybe Miroku's right, about the truth and how I should just tell everyone how I feel. But how can I when I'm not certain about my feelings yet? I'm afraid I'll end up alone.... but since when did I ever feel this way? I have so many questions, but no answers. Does this all mean that my feelings for InuYasha are- 'My feelings for InuYasha?' why does that sound so strange....." Kagome stopped, with her eyes widened. She shook her head to rid her mind of any thoughts of having such feelings, and continued on with writing. "But that all can't be true, maybe I'm afraid I'll lose his friendship to Kikyo, even if she IS no longer living, but still she has a stern spot in InuYasha's heart.... and perhaps he still wants to be with her in some way.... if so, then...." but she refused to finished the sentence and shut the diary. Maybe that was enough of playing with emotions and feelings, anyway she was afraid of digging deeper in her heart, afraid of what she would find.....
Kagome sighed and once again, hid the diary under her bed. "I'll never understand this..." she told herself. "Not in a million years..."
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Rikku: That took awhile, *sigh* I guess I was write about my chapters coming in slowly. Well, I hope at least someone reads this, though I doubt it. After all, I only got like 3 reviews for the last chapter and this story isn't going as sucessful as I thought it would be.... maybe it's better if I don't finish this. *Shakes her head* Iie! Think positive!! Anyway, even if I don't have much readers, I made a promise to finish this fic, and I'm going to keep my word! ^.^ PLEASE REVIEW if you do happen to do this, but it's not my choice, is it? Well think about the best for MY FIRST FIC *hint, hint* and find it in your heart to review. Arigatou!!
P.S. After re-reading this, I realized that this chapter isn't the best and I haven't writen this at the best of my potential. Hai, this is all VERY confusing, but this is a brief explaination:
-The old woman was Kaede and Iie, she is not younger than Kikyo in this, Kikyo had died like 5 years back and Kaede was the OLDER sister this time.
-The dream didn't mean much, it was just something to tell Kagome that InuYasha still loved Kikyo. (But don't worry, Kikyo&Inu AREN'T the pairing in this fic, though I DO think I'm giving her too much credit...)
-The InuYasha she met in the dream wasn't REALLY the InuYasha Kagome met in the previous chapters. He was just InuYasha as a dream, I know, it confuses me too. So therefore, since that wasn't exactly the real InuYasha in this fic, he didn't know Kagome, didn't know that Kikyo had died and doesn't know er- much.
-Even though this is one of the small things, I want to to explain this. The reason why Kagome's cut isn't mentioned a lot is because Kagome was too distracted by what was happening to her, and hai, it DID disappear.
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Rikku: So that was just an explaination, and I promise that my fic won't get this confusing ever again, and if it does, then.... you can slap me for all I care.
I do NOT own InuYasha.
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Chapter 9: A Disturbing Dream and Denial Starts as Strange Emotions Arise
Rikku: Before I start I should say that Kagome's dreaming, ok?
~*~Kagome's Dream~*~
Kagome, a lonesome girl wandered through a deep forest with her head in the clouds.... all alone. She was in her school uniform which was strange, since she wasn't in it before. Something didn't seem right, something about the forest looked.... old. It looked as if she had traveled 100 years back or something.
**BONK**
Absent-mindedly, she walked into a tree and banged her head on the hard bark, cutting her forehead. Waking up from her absent state she shook her head and buried her face in her hands with pain. As she withdrew her hands from her face she noticed blood on the tips of her fingers. It was extremly awkward, the place she was in, the feeling she felt.... and just then she realized it was a dream. 'But...' she thought. 'If-if this is a dream, then how am I feeling pain?' She was confused, lost, scared... lonely. But she continued on walking, following the only path that laid before her. She place a finger on the cut and quickly pulled it away as it bled more. For a small cut, the pain was extruciating, and as the blood dripped down her face she cupped a hand on it. She began to run, when she noticed that it was no ordinary cut, it was deep... and the pain..... she needed help, or she would bleed to death... (Rikku: Yes, it did bleed that much....ouch!) Kagome was now speeding through the forests, the trees on her sides were all blurred to her vision and her legs were sore, she was in search of a town..... of anything or anyone that could aid her....
But that wasn't what she found, there she stood on the tip of a hill, her eyes widened... shocked of what she had found. Instead of a town or a nearby inhabited house she found a village.... but there weren't houses, there were huts (Rikku: I don't know the proper name, please don't sue me, I'm innocent!!! Well, not really...) and the people that lived there- the villagers- were dressed in unusual clothing. The women were either carrying buckets of water, picking crops or taking care of their children. The men were armed with bows and arrows, spears and some of them had kitanas. It was so..... strange.
"What the hell? Where am I? Wh-what's wrong with all these peop- AHHHH!!!!" Kagome had slipped down the steep hill and landed flat on her hace. All the villagers had turned their heads toward her as she got up quickly, once again, cupping a hand on her cut. 'Ow....' she thought. 'How embarassing....'
The villagers blinked twice and the whispering started.
"Who is she?"
"What is she wearing?"
"Pfft! Kids these days, so clumsy!!" (Rikku: Sounds familiar, ne?)
"She's cute!!"
"Enough...." said a calm voice, discontinuing any further comments from the villagers.
Kagome watched as the town's people made way for an old woman to walk through. She had an eye patch on one eye and wore strange clothing made of red and white cloths. (Rikku: Guess who!!!)
"Who are ye?" she asked Kagome.
Kagome gulped, who was this woman? "My-my name is K-Kagome...." she finally said.
She gave her a stern look. "Tell me Kagome, have ye ever encountered a woman named Kikyo?"
'Kikyo?' Kagome thought. 'How does this woman know her?' "Iie..." she replied. "I have only heard about this Kikyo.... never seen her, I believed she has died."
The woman nodded and studied Kagome for a while. "Your wound..."
"Huh? Wha? Oh!" Kagome had forgotten about her cut and the pain because of the villagers, it seemed to have been bleeding a bit more. "Oh, this.... ya, well it's nothing but a small cut..."
The woman gave Kagome a concerned look. "But you should still get that aided.... come with me."
But before Kagome could take a step, a strong breeze swept by the grounds and everyone had their heads lifted, eyeing a man in red robes, dashing through the skies.
"It's InuYasha!!!" a man cried, causing women and children to shriek in horror.
'InuYasha?' Kagome thought. 'Th-that's InuYasha?' She eyed the man for a bit, but she couldn't see his face properly since he had landed on the tree furthest from her, he was watching all the villagers scream hysterically and run madly like it was all a joke.
"Quick child!" The old woman cried to Kagome. "Hurry up and follow the village men, they shall take you to a safer place."
Kagome nodded, not knowing why she would want to be saved from InuYasha, but thought that it would be wiser to follow the strange people. She ran toward the men, whom were waiting for her, but just as she reached them something rapidly swooped down to her and lifted her from the ground. "Wh-what's going on?" she shrieked, watching the villagers as she drifted away from them. But as she directed her eyes to what was carrying her away from the ground she saw nothing but silver and red. 'Am I in the arms of InuYasha?' she thought. 'But this InuYasha seems different.... and what is he doing to me?'
"Shut up Kikyo, I'm finally gonna get my revenge...." said InuYasha's voice.
So it WAS InuYasha.... but it couldn't be the same InuYasha she met before. 'Kikyo?' Kagome thought. "I'm not Kikyo! My name's Kagome!!! Don't you remember InuYasha?"
"Feh! Don't talk your way out of this."
Kagome blinked. "Whadda mean?? And what revenge?"
"Don't act dumb Kikyo.... you left me a few years back for that pathetic village, you left me to wander the empty forests alone... for all those years, well now you're going to pay...."
Kagome decided not to talk, she was frightened about what InuYasha would do to her and wondered if THIS InuYasha was in love with Kikyo and if her departing with him and caused him heart-break. If so, then.....
"Ok, we're here." he said, setting Kagome down. He looked to the ground and started to speak, not even looking at her. "All those years.... and now I finally know that you are nothing to me.... though you once were my love, I can't forgive you for what you've done...."
Kagome gasped. Once his love? So she was right.... maybe this InuYasha didn't know that Kikyo had died yet. "InuYasha..." she spoke.
"Kikyo, I already said-" but he stopped scolding her when he had finally looked up. "Y-you're not Kikyo!"
Kagome sighed. 'About time....' she thought. "Iie, I'm not, I'm Kagome. KA-GO-ME!! Can your little brain handle remembering that or is that too much I'm asking for?"
"W-why didn't you say anything?"
"I did, you just didn't believe me."
"Feh! Then I have no use for you, I have to find Kikyo."
"Well, she's dead so you might as well give up, you don't need revenge now." Kagome blurted. She couldn't stand InuYasha talking to her like she was nothing compared to Kikyo.
He blinked. "And how do you know that?"
"Y-you told me..." But just then she realized that it wasn't the same InuYasha she met before. "I mean, the villagers told me...."
"Well don't gloat because I don't believe you, so get outta my business and don't worry.... I'll find Kikyo."
"T-then you still love her, don't you?" Kagome felt her eyes water but she held back the tears.
"Didn't I tell you to get outta my business?" And that was the last she heard from him as he turned to walk away.
Kagome blinked and felt her tears fall from her eyes. Even if it wasn't the real InuYasha this all meant that the real one still had feelings for Kikyo.... but InuYasha DID tell her something like this, just not in the same words. His story of Kikyo had made it obvious that he still loved her.... but Kagome had refused to believe it.
And just then something snapped and she felt the floor spin, before her eyes was no longer the mysterious place she had gone to, but instead a mixture of many colours and flashes of light.
~*~End of Dream~*~
She felt her eyes open and found herself in her room again. The cut and pain was gone, like it was erased or something. But she quickly came to her senses when she finally heard the loud bangs that had been sounding for what seemed like a century; someone was knocking on her door fiercely and impatiently.
"I'm coming...." Kagome mumbling. She slowly got up from the bed and made her way to the door, opening it to reveal an angry mother.
"Kagome Higurashi!! Have you been asleep? I have been calling you for the last 15 minutes, it's dinner time young lady. You do not want you're food to get cold! Especially after I spent all afternoon making you're FAVOURITE!!"
Kagome groaned. "Hai, I've been asleep and I'm not hungry, ma. Just save my plate in the fridge or something."
"Kago-"
But she had slammed the door in her mother's face before she could finish with her scolding, without a care. Kagome sat down on the edge of her bed, with her head lowered, studying the floor. That wasn't an ordinary dream, the pain was real, and she had felt every other feeling too. She clutched her bed sheets and shut her eyes tightly as tears dripped. Her dream...... why was InuYasha so desperate to find Kikyo? Why didn't he know Kagome? And if he did, would she be nothing to him? Was it all a sign? And most importantly, WHAT THE HELL DID IT ALL MEAN!?
Kagome felt as if her emotions were going to cause her to burst. She buried her face in her hands as she sulked even more. She wondered why she felt that way though. "What could this all mean?" she asked herself. "Why would I feel this way just because InuYasha doesn't care? How do I even know if that really WAS InuYasha? I was only telling myself that it wasn't because I was afraid that it was...."
Kagome thought for a moment, she needed something to answer all her questions with, and then something (once again) snapped. She hesitated but then pulled out her diary from under her bed. "Maybe it's about time..."
She flipped through the pages rapidly until she reached a blank page, grabbed a pen from her desk and began to write.
"November 15th..." she started. "Dear Diary, It's been awhile... I haven't been able to express my feelings and emotions like before, I've changed in a bit. I guess you can say I got bored of life, about everything that was once so 'exciting', well that's what I thought until I met 'him.' His name is InuYasha, and he's not like any other boy I've ever met. He's strange, but in a cool kind of way. I have to admit, he is arrogant, and has an ego the size of Texas. He doesn't get along with Sango, or anyone else for that matter. Everyone else, except for me. Well, that's what I thought until he revealed the truth about his past and a strange dream I had..."
She continued writing about Kikyo and the dream. Half-way through she found herself holding back tears and confused once again. Kagome had turned to her diary because she had thought that explaining her feelings in words would help her understand what she was going through, but she was wrong. Kagome had become even more depressed when she found the truth in her words.
"....and maybe Miroku's right, about the truth and how I should just tell everyone how I feel. But how can I when I'm not certain about my feelings yet? I'm afraid I'll end up alone.... but since when did I ever feel this way? I have so many questions, but no answers. Does this all mean that my feelings for InuYasha are- 'My feelings for InuYasha?' why does that sound so strange....." Kagome stopped, with her eyes widened. She shook her head to rid her mind of any thoughts of having such feelings, and continued on with writing. "But that all can't be true, maybe I'm afraid I'll lose his friendship to Kikyo, even if she IS no longer living, but still she has a stern spot in InuYasha's heart.... and perhaps he still wants to be with her in some way.... if so, then...." but she refused to finished the sentence and shut the diary. Maybe that was enough of playing with emotions and feelings, anyway she was afraid of digging deeper in her heart, afraid of what she would find.....
Kagome sighed and once again, hid the diary under her bed. "I'll never understand this..." she told herself. "Not in a million years..."
***************************
Rikku: That took awhile, *sigh* I guess I was write about my chapters coming in slowly. Well, I hope at least someone reads this, though I doubt it. After all, I only got like 3 reviews for the last chapter and this story isn't going as sucessful as I thought it would be.... maybe it's better if I don't finish this. *Shakes her head* Iie! Think positive!! Anyway, even if I don't have much readers, I made a promise to finish this fic, and I'm going to keep my word! ^.^ PLEASE REVIEW if you do happen to do this, but it's not my choice, is it? Well think about the best for MY FIRST FIC *hint, hint* and find it in your heart to review. Arigatou!!
P.S. After re-reading this, I realized that this chapter isn't the best and I haven't writen this at the best of my potential. Hai, this is all VERY confusing, but this is a brief explaination:
-The old woman was Kaede and Iie, she is not younger than Kikyo in this, Kikyo had died like 5 years back and Kaede was the OLDER sister this time.
-The dream didn't mean much, it was just something to tell Kagome that InuYasha still loved Kikyo. (But don't worry, Kikyo&Inu AREN'T the pairing in this fic, though I DO think I'm giving her too much credit...)
-The InuYasha she met in the dream wasn't REALLY the InuYasha Kagome met in the previous chapters. He was just InuYasha as a dream, I know, it confuses me too. So therefore, since that wasn't exactly the real InuYasha in this fic, he didn't know Kagome, didn't know that Kikyo had died and doesn't know er- much.
-Even though this is one of the small things, I want to to explain this. The reason why Kagome's cut isn't mentioned a lot is because Kagome was too distracted by what was happening to her, and hai, it DID disappear.
*********
Rikku: So that was just an explaination, and I promise that my fic won't get this confusing ever again, and if it does, then.... you can slap me for all I care.