Reoccurring Nightmares
Disclaimer- me no own T_T
Warnings- slight shonen ai, Rand/Mat
Summary- takes place during book one when Rand and Mat are trying to join
up with Moraine, Egwene, Perrin and the others. After being separated at
Shador Logoth.
//Thoughts//
"Talking"
A.N. I'm such a yaoi-addictie, I just had to write this. I was reading the
books and I thought, "Hey I could write a fanfic!" But then I looked under
the WoT category and I didn't see any pairings like this. So I think I will
be the 1st. If any one else wrote one before me, I apologize. I didn't see
it. Try not to flame me. If you really want to I suppose you could. Anyways
onto the fic!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mat awoke with a start and sat up. He was dreaming again. He dreamt of
blood, killing, slaughter. The recollection made him shiver. It was because
of the dagger.
//Why, why did I take it? I hate it. I hate it! Why didn't I listen to
Moraine? She warned me, and I was foolish, no more than foolish, much more
than foolish. And it's going to cost me my life, I can feel it, I just
know.//
Mat outwardly grimaced. The images of his dream flashed by again.
//I had killed. Killed them all and laughed! I killed Egwene and Nynaeve
and Moraine and Perrin and, and Rand.//
Mat shivered and curled up with his face resting on his knees and his arms
tightly wrapped around his legs. //I feel so helpless and weak, I'm noting
but a burden to Rand. To everyone. I hate the bloody dagger! And, and...//
Mat slowly looked up and whispered, "And I hate myself, for what I've done
to everyone, the trouble I've caused, everything. I'll bet they hate me
too."
"Mat, how can you say that?"
Startled, Mat turned around "Rand you scared me!"
"Who else would it have been?"
Mat laid back down "Forget you heard anything."
"Mat, honestly,"
"......"
"Mat?" Rand paused, "Mat, I know, I know its hard, but" He was cut off as
Mat sat up
"You think you know? Are you the one who's cursed by the dagger? Are you
the one that wakes up from nightmares about killing people you care about?
I killed them Rand! I KILLED them all! I killed YOU! And you know what
else, as much as it hurt, I laughed the whole time! Blood and ashes Rand!
Do you know how much this hurts me? To kill the ones I love? Do you know
how..." he started to cry. "I hate it, and I hate myself for causing you so
many burdens. I can't take it! I..." Sobs racked through his body.
Rand was shocked. He knew Mat was hurting but he had no idea it was this
much. "Mat, I"
"Don't try and act nice, I know you hate me!"
"No Mat, no, that's not true at all!" Rand wrapped his arms around Mat.
"That isn't true at all, You are my best friend, I couldn't hate you. I
would do anything to make sure you were safe, I would do anything for you"
Mat sniffled and looked Rand in the face. "What?"
"You heard right, I would do anything for you" Rand pulled him closer.
"I bet you would do the same for Perrin or Nynaeve or, Egwene" He said
Egwene's name with just a tiny hint of jealousy.
Rand smiled "I would go to many lengths to ensure their safety as well, but
Mat, your special to me. I can't describe it in words. You're different
then them." He stroked Mat's hair "You are, well, I don't know what I
would do if I lost you. I couldn't keep on living without you."
Mat smiled and rested his head against Rand's chest. It felt so good to be
loved especially when the feeling was mutual. "I know what you mean Rand,
you are so special to me too." He looked up at Rand, who was still smiling.
"I love you"
"As do I Mat," There was a long pause as both of them just enjoyed the
feeling of being in each other's arms.
"We should probably get some sleep, we have a long day ahead of us," Rand
said.
"Yeah, but now, I think I can do it, as long as you are here with me."
Rand quickly hugged him and laid down.
Mat yawned and did the same, scooting a little closer to Rand.
There was another long pause before Rand said "And if you ever have another
nightmare, you know who to come to"
Mat smiled and drifted off to sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A.N. *chokes on fluff* Well how was it? Please review if it wouldn't be too
much trouble. Please go easy though, this is my 1st WoT fanfic.
Disclaimer- me no own T_T
Warnings- slight shonen ai, Rand/Mat
Summary- takes place during book one when Rand and Mat are trying to join
up with Moraine, Egwene, Perrin and the others. After being separated at
Shador Logoth.
//Thoughts//
"Talking"
A.N. I'm such a yaoi-addictie, I just had to write this. I was reading the
books and I thought, "Hey I could write a fanfic!" But then I looked under
the WoT category and I didn't see any pairings like this. So I think I will
be the 1st. If any one else wrote one before me, I apologize. I didn't see
it. Try not to flame me. If you really want to I suppose you could. Anyways
onto the fic!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mat awoke with a start and sat up. He was dreaming again. He dreamt of
blood, killing, slaughter. The recollection made him shiver. It was because
of the dagger.
//Why, why did I take it? I hate it. I hate it! Why didn't I listen to
Moraine? She warned me, and I was foolish, no more than foolish, much more
than foolish. And it's going to cost me my life, I can feel it, I just
know.//
Mat outwardly grimaced. The images of his dream flashed by again.
//I had killed. Killed them all and laughed! I killed Egwene and Nynaeve
and Moraine and Perrin and, and Rand.//
Mat shivered and curled up with his face resting on his knees and his arms
tightly wrapped around his legs. //I feel so helpless and weak, I'm noting
but a burden to Rand. To everyone. I hate the bloody dagger! And, and...//
Mat slowly looked up and whispered, "And I hate myself, for what I've done
to everyone, the trouble I've caused, everything. I'll bet they hate me
too."
"Mat, how can you say that?"
Startled, Mat turned around "Rand you scared me!"
"Who else would it have been?"
Mat laid back down "Forget you heard anything."
"Mat, honestly,"
"......"
"Mat?" Rand paused, "Mat, I know, I know its hard, but" He was cut off as
Mat sat up
"You think you know? Are you the one who's cursed by the dagger? Are you
the one that wakes up from nightmares about killing people you care about?
I killed them Rand! I KILLED them all! I killed YOU! And you know what
else, as much as it hurt, I laughed the whole time! Blood and ashes Rand!
Do you know how much this hurts me? To kill the ones I love? Do you know
how..." he started to cry. "I hate it, and I hate myself for causing you so
many burdens. I can't take it! I..." Sobs racked through his body.
Rand was shocked. He knew Mat was hurting but he had no idea it was this
much. "Mat, I"
"Don't try and act nice, I know you hate me!"
"No Mat, no, that's not true at all!" Rand wrapped his arms around Mat.
"That isn't true at all, You are my best friend, I couldn't hate you. I
would do anything to make sure you were safe, I would do anything for you"
Mat sniffled and looked Rand in the face. "What?"
"You heard right, I would do anything for you" Rand pulled him closer.
"I bet you would do the same for Perrin or Nynaeve or, Egwene" He said
Egwene's name with just a tiny hint of jealousy.
Rand smiled "I would go to many lengths to ensure their safety as well, but
Mat, your special to me. I can't describe it in words. You're different
then them." He stroked Mat's hair "You are, well, I don't know what I
would do if I lost you. I couldn't keep on living without you."
Mat smiled and rested his head against Rand's chest. It felt so good to be
loved especially when the feeling was mutual. "I know what you mean Rand,
you are so special to me too." He looked up at Rand, who was still smiling.
"I love you"
"As do I Mat," There was a long pause as both of them just enjoyed the
feeling of being in each other's arms.
"We should probably get some sleep, we have a long day ahead of us," Rand
said.
"Yeah, but now, I think I can do it, as long as you are here with me."
Rand quickly hugged him and laid down.
Mat yawned and did the same, scooting a little closer to Rand.
There was another long pause before Rand said "And if you ever have another
nightmare, you know who to come to"
Mat smiled and drifted off to sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A.N. *chokes on fluff* Well how was it? Please review if it wouldn't be too
much trouble. Please go easy though, this is my 1st WoT fanfic.