Title: Love vs Hina

Chapter: #3 – Growing Epidemic

Author: Murto (*Ignites Lightsaber* Is there life after Darth?)

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Myuu: No.

Murto: *Synthesised Breathing* Join me. It is your Desss-tiny.

Myuu: *Smacks him upside the head* Try hard.

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Notes: Here you go, installment number 3. I hope you have as much fun reading it as I had writing it.

Legal Crap: You know the drill. If you read the previous 2 chapters you know what should be written here. I should only have to write it once per story, not every chapter, so I entrust that you'll remember the legal crap for the next few chapters, ne?

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Love vs Hina

Chapter 3: Growing Epidemic

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"Okay Corporal, get down there and do what has to be done!" Kanako yelled.

"Yes Kanako-senpai! I mean sir. Sorry, I meant madam. I mean~" Shinobu acknowledged meekly, running off inside the flag building to defend what was most precious.

"Otohime!! Get down to the shed and get whatever tanks and stuff down there ready for action!!" Kanako continued, her yelling making the 5 stars on each shoulder shake on her new outfit.

"Ara, this is kinda fun. Hai hai, General-sama!" the turtle girl replied, wearing a pair of overalls and carrying a toolbox in her hands.

"Kanako-san, now that you've appointed yourself Chief-Commanding-Lieutenant-Major-General, I have a question to ask." Kitsune said. #1

"Permission to ask a question granted, Konno." The evil General informed.

"Well, it's regarding your uniform. What is the go with those pants?"

Kanako blinked.

"What's wrong with my pants?"

"Well, let me say this. Those pants are those brown riding pants like what movie directors, generals or people riding horses wear."

"And?" Kanako interjected.

"Well I'd say they're living up to their name"

Kanako blinked again.

Then face-faulted.

"You'd better fix yourself girl, you've got a camel toe.

Mmm hmm, that's right, ah huh, OH NO!

Fix yourself girl, you've got a camel toe."

"NO SONGFICS!!!!! Konno, if you don't get your ass down into that bunker over there I'm gonna castrate you!!!

"But I'm female" the fox girl replied.

"I DON'T CARE!"

Kitsune uttered a slight meep and ran off.

"But seriously, it is a growing epidemic, that really ain't fly." She muttered

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Meanwhile, at the hopefully more sane Blue Base.

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"So what are we gonna do, Haruka-san?" Naru asked, unloading a dozen bullets from her .303 sniper rifle and reloading a new clip.

"Well, I think Suu wants us to capture the enemy's flag. The winner probably wins the argument over Murto's tip money." Haruka replied.

"If I had my sword that wouldn't be such a difficult task, however this is kinda fun." Motoko said, launching 6 grenades from her grenade launcher then drawing a glock from her holster and emptying it's clip.

"Ah, do you really think this is a good idea." Haruka asked, still expressionless with an unlit cigarette in her mouth as usual.

"Nah, its fine Haruka." Naru said reassuringly, pulling the pin out a grenade with her teeth and throwing it.

"HEY! THIS IS REALLY UNFAIR!" Keitaro complained.

"Hey, sit still!" Motoko ordered.

Keitaro was up against a concrete wall with dozens of bullet holes surrounding him with the odd larger hole made by the grenades.

"Isn't this fun?" Seta said holding a huge, smoking gatling gun; wearing a green singlet, camo pants and a thousand rounds of ammunition draped over his shoulders.

"Yeah! It's like this one episode of Liddo-kun where Liddo-kun went skirmish and practised shooting paintballs at all the Liddo-chans and they all died and got compensation. Yeah, like that." Mutsumi said, holding two Beretta 9mm pistols.

"NO, NOT LIKE THAT!" Naru yelled back.

"Hang on, aren't you on Red team? What are you doing here?" Motoko asked.

"Oh my, I don't remember" Mutsumi replied.

Everyone fell on the ground in a classic anime fall. Then, a few hundred meters away, three shadowy figures were hiding amongst the mist.

"Playing games I see" said Elder #1

"Yes, a great way to waste time." Said Elder #2

"Capture the flag at the Hinata" Elder #3 remarked.

"I'll bring the guns" Elder #2 commented.

"Screencheating is not allowed" Elder #1 stated.

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The end, for now.

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End Notes: Ok, so how was chapter #3? Don't worry, the action will start soon. I'm just about to get things started. I can't really just jump straight in, ne?

#1 – Remember, Lieutenant is pronounced 'Lef-tenant'. ^_^

The riding pants is based on a scene from 'Angry Beavers'

The songfic however isn't.

Keitaro against the wall being used as target practise is based on an episode of 'Red vs Blue'

Keitaro's line 'Hey, this is really unfair' was thrown in partly because I was originally gonna call this episode "Really Unfair". Then I thought of the songfic…

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So~

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How the hell did Mutsumi get to the Blue base?

When is Suu, the minor characters as well as the odd FanFic Author gonna make their appearances?

Who WILL Capture the Flag?

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Murto: Please, remove my mask. I want to look upon you with my own eyes.

Myuu: But you'll die. *Blinks* ALRIGHT!!!!

*Removes the shiny black mask, Murto dies*