Despair
***********************
"How is he doing?"
The doctor look up from his papers looking at the beautiful Egyptian women in front of him and then glancing out at the window, eyeing a tan youth with white blondish hair, dazedly walking around the serene environment.
"He's doing better, the Marik persona comes out less, but it is there" he reported and saw the women lower her head slightly at this. He gave a sympathetic smile at her "The only reason why he is able to keep his original persona is because you come here every day; it's the only thing he looks forward here" he spoke.
Isis nodded at this and smiled at him "Thank you doctor, I should see him right now, it seems he is waiting for me" she replied looking out of the window, seeing Malik looking back at her with tired eyes but they soon lighten up and he waved at her.
"Does he remember anything when he becomes Marik?"
"Usually when people have split personalities, the one persona that becomes submissive does not remember what the dominant persona has done. It's a rare occurrence when they interact with each other. The mind is a very fragile thing. In some cases, the person is lead to suicide, or sometimes they lose all sense of reality around them, and their minds, not being able to take the stress of two different persona's, shatters, but in your brothers case..." he stop when he saw Isis immediately stood up.
"Thank you doctor" she spoke and begin to head towards the door "Isis" the doctor spoke and she stop. "Don't give up, he needs you" she heard him speak and closed her eyes at this.
"I know, thank you doctor" she answered and discreetly exited the office. "Brother," she thought to herself and laid her hand over her heart. After battle city they had returned to Egypt, she thought her brother would be fine, after he got his body back from Marik.
"But..."
Malik begin to act strange, he became distant and he always locked himself in his room, Isis had barely seen him at times. Sometimes, she heard him talking to himself, perhaps remembering what he did or what Marik did in his body. She didn't know, until that fateful day..
*flash*
"Brother I'm home, I've brought some food for us to eat, Malik?" Isis spoke as she opened her door and let out a gasp, seeing the house a complete mess. "Thieves?' she spoke to herself and entered "That cant be, the door was lock? Malik, he must have thought--oh my god" she thought. "Malik?? Answer me! Are you all right? Malik??" She cried out and heard a noise in the kitchen. Cautiously she entered and seeing a shadowed figure resembling her brother.
"Malik are you all right? What--" She gasp suddenly as she saw blood dripping from his face. He turn to her, half his body now in the light, revealing the crimson liquid dripping from his arms and neck. He laugh silently to himself, while holding the stained butcher knife. "Malik...what did you do?' Isis manage to speak out, slightly trembling. He look up and Isis eyes widen in disbelief.
"Nice to see you again, Isis...."
*End flashback*
"I should have noticed sooner...." she thought to herself. After that incident she contacted Shadi in an attempt to banish the evil spirit but it could not be done because Marik wasn't an evil spirit, he was a part of Malik.
Soon after that she placed him in a psychiatric ward that would help him with the personality problem. Though it was hard, especially since his Marik persona took over and began his old way, of killing and torturing. She refuse to give up on her brother, she knew he would come back to being Malik, she just had to be there for him. Little by little she began to notice signs that Malik was fighting to take control again, but she knew it was so hard for him.
"Especially when he found out the truth about how father died.." she spoke to herself and rubbed her arms finding herself outside, much to her surprise.
"Nee-san"
Isis turned and let a warm smile show "Hello, Malik" she replied.
"How is your therapy?"
"It's ok, the doctors say I'm getting better, I'll be able to leave soon" he replied happily, he was grateful his sister came to visit him every day, she was the fragile little balance the kept him from reverting into Marik again. "No, I don't want that, he did so many things when we first came, I couldn't remember but I knew he tortured those patients" he thought to himself, a small chill crawling down his spine and decided to think of something else. "They're trying something new" he continue and Isis gave him a questioning look.
"No Isis they're not using shock therapy, The play music, mostly piano, they say it helps me be calm" he explain and saw her nod. "They say, that Marik comes out when I'm angry or stressed, so I have to be calm and control my anger" he spoke softly.
"Malik, I know it's been hard for you, but I'm very proud, you've become so strong, look how long you've remain in control" she said with pride.
"Isis.."
"What is it brother?"
"I'm sorry, for what I put you through" he spoke and Isis embraced him suddenly. "Malik, you were manipulated, you didn't know, how could you?' she said softly. "What about everyone else I made suffer, Yuugi, his friends, Ryou..I want to apologize, I don't care about forgiveness, I don't deserve it but, I just want to atone for my sins" he express clenching tightly against her.
"I've never had that chance with father and mother, I.."
"Malik, Mother's death is not your fault and father, as much as I hate to admit, he brought his death upon his own self, by encrypting you with a power never meant to be his and resulting in all of this!"
Malik look up, blue eyes met amethyst as his sister gave him a firm but soft look. She brush a few stray locks back in their place. "Malik, do you feel this strong about making amends? They may not forgive you."
"I know, but I am responsible for my actions, and Marik's, and I just want to be at peace, I get so tired of fighting against him..."
"I'll speak to the doctor then"
"You will?"
Isi nodded her head "I will speak to him right now if you want" she said and he nodded his head "Lets go together" he said.
"All right then" she begin and immediately begin walking back to the office and Malik begin to follow her.
/You can't hold me here forever/
\What the fuck do you want?\
/Malik, so harsh/
"Go away, I won't release you" he growled to himself and felt a sharp pain in his head feeling Marik attempting to take over. "No" he said hoarsely clenching his teeth he felt some of his hair begin to spike "Go away" he said over and over. "Calm down Malik, remember the therapy" he spoke to himself remembering the piano music and it's soothing melody and his hair drop back down his shoulders and he gasp in exhaustion clasping his head.
"Marik, you're not coming out, ever," he said to himself and catch up with his sister. "This is a start of a new beginning for me, and I won't let you take that away from me" he thought upon entering the building with his sister.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"How do we feel?"
"..........."
"Miss Mazaki, please"
"Fuck a vibrator" She snapped at the nurse. The nurse look at her with weariness "At least I got her to talk" she thought to herself. "I'll get you you're breakfast then" she replied and left the room. Anzu growled to herself "Why the hell am I still alive" she muttered to herself.
{You're so filthy even death rejected you} the voice taunted once again and Anzu growled at it. "And I thought I'd be rid of you" she spoke back and begin rubbing her arms, even here she still felt the dirt.
"Dirty..." she began. She hugged her self tighter the tears threatening to spill the last thing she remember was trying to wash away the dirt, but, it just wouldn't come off.
"Then I try to O.D. on some pills" she muttered. Damn it all, couldn't she just rest? Why would she live with the stain she had?
"Damn him, Damn him," she screamed mentally the tears falling freely. Because of him she would be nothing but filth but worst of all an empty shell of which she used to be. She would never be the happy girl she once was.
She was shattered.
She would never look at men the same again, she never wanted to be touch by a man either, even her friends the people she could entrust with, what about them?
"No they would never"
{What's stopping them Anzu? What's stopping them from doing it?}
"Shut-up! They're my friends!"
{Oh please, the only reason you're so called friends hang out with you is so they can screw your brains out}
"Stop it" she snapped her voice rising with anger every moment as she heard the voice laughing at her, mocking her.
{It's the truth}
"No it isn't....they're my friends.." she defended weakly, pulling her knees up to her chest.
{Is that so? Tell me this Anzu, where were they when he grabbed you? Where were they when you screamed out while he cut your flesh? Where were they when he shoved his---}
"SHUT-UP!!!" She screamed. She clasp her neck and begin to choke herself while the voice continue to taunt her.
"Shut up, Shut up shut up" she hoarse squeezing tighter and tighter. The door creaked open and the nurse came in with Anzu's breakfast. "Miss. Mazaki you're breakfast--Oh my god, WHAT ARE YOU DOING" she exclaimed. She dropped the plate and ran to her immediately trying to pry Anzu's hands off her neck.
"She's too strong, SOMEONE HELP!!!"
Anzu slowly stopped breathing and she let a smile come on her face "I'll shut you up this time" she thought but soon found herself pinned down on her bed. "LET ME GO!!" She screeched at the two male nurses holding her down. She immediately begin to have the awful flashback. When she was held down like this, before he made her dirty.
Anzu begin to panic, caught in the grip of her memory and she begin to thrash violently.
"NO!!! LET ME GO!!!"
"Miss Mazaki please calm down"
"HELP SOMEONE HELP!! YUUGI, JOUNOUCHI, HELP!!! PLEASE!!" She screamed, her eyes wild with fear. "Damn it, she won't listen, someone bring a tranquilizer," The nurse shouted attempting to calm down the screaming brunette.
"YUUGI!!! YAMI!! HELP ME!!! PLEASE STOP!!! STOP!!!!!!" She cried out tears streaming down her face. "Stop..it hurts..." she choke, her back arching up and she thrash dangerously again and let out a blood chilling scream. She suddenly felt something sharp and slim enter her skin. She looked down seeing a needle in her and she begin to feel tired.
So tired.
"Anzu?" a voice spoke to her and she look at the nurse dazed. "Anzu, we gave something to calm yourself down, so just sleep" the nurse said. "He..made...me....dirty" were her last words before becoming unconscious.
The male nurse let go and left to go back to their duties, only the nurse remained. She look at the girl in sad silence she knew what happen to her; she herself experienced it.
"He shattered you, didn't he?" she spoke to the comatose girl now sleeping peacefully.
"Nurse?"
"Oh, Dr.Reyako" The nurse replied. The doctor came him and studied the girl "Is she the one that attempted to O.D.?" he ask and the nurse nodded. "She should be fine after we pumped her stomach; thank goodness her parents brought her in so soon, so she'll be alright."
"I beg to differ"
Reyako look at the nurse questioningly "What do you mean?" he ask and the nurse began to tell him of the recent happenings. "Oh dear" he replied after hearing this, wiping his glasses with a cloth.
"I think that's why she attempted suicide" the nurse spoke and saw the doctor with a pensive face. "Well, her mother and father know right?"
"........"
"Unfortunately I can't tell them, confidentiality, but I will talk to her when she wakes up tomorrow." he spoke and left the room. Leaving the nurse with her once again. Anzu begin to move once again in her sleep hugging herself, trembling while sniffling timidly.
"No...please....don't...."
"Not even in sleep she can rest......"
TbC
* * * * * * * * * * * *
OK peeps another chappie is done geez I never thought I see the day I would write something so dark, it's usually not me style but then again listening to ten hours of Malice Mizer does that to you
Please review and I would like to get helpful feed back from this thankies
fOX
***********************
"How is he doing?"
The doctor look up from his papers looking at the beautiful Egyptian women in front of him and then glancing out at the window, eyeing a tan youth with white blondish hair, dazedly walking around the serene environment.
"He's doing better, the Marik persona comes out less, but it is there" he reported and saw the women lower her head slightly at this. He gave a sympathetic smile at her "The only reason why he is able to keep his original persona is because you come here every day; it's the only thing he looks forward here" he spoke.
Isis nodded at this and smiled at him "Thank you doctor, I should see him right now, it seems he is waiting for me" she replied looking out of the window, seeing Malik looking back at her with tired eyes but they soon lighten up and he waved at her.
"Does he remember anything when he becomes Marik?"
"Usually when people have split personalities, the one persona that becomes submissive does not remember what the dominant persona has done. It's a rare occurrence when they interact with each other. The mind is a very fragile thing. In some cases, the person is lead to suicide, or sometimes they lose all sense of reality around them, and their minds, not being able to take the stress of two different persona's, shatters, but in your brothers case..." he stop when he saw Isis immediately stood up.
"Thank you doctor" she spoke and begin to head towards the door "Isis" the doctor spoke and she stop. "Don't give up, he needs you" she heard him speak and closed her eyes at this.
"I know, thank you doctor" she answered and discreetly exited the office. "Brother," she thought to herself and laid her hand over her heart. After battle city they had returned to Egypt, she thought her brother would be fine, after he got his body back from Marik.
"But..."
Malik begin to act strange, he became distant and he always locked himself in his room, Isis had barely seen him at times. Sometimes, she heard him talking to himself, perhaps remembering what he did or what Marik did in his body. She didn't know, until that fateful day..
*flash*
"Brother I'm home, I've brought some food for us to eat, Malik?" Isis spoke as she opened her door and let out a gasp, seeing the house a complete mess. "Thieves?' she spoke to herself and entered "That cant be, the door was lock? Malik, he must have thought--oh my god" she thought. "Malik?? Answer me! Are you all right? Malik??" She cried out and heard a noise in the kitchen. Cautiously she entered and seeing a shadowed figure resembling her brother.
"Malik are you all right? What--" She gasp suddenly as she saw blood dripping from his face. He turn to her, half his body now in the light, revealing the crimson liquid dripping from his arms and neck. He laugh silently to himself, while holding the stained butcher knife. "Malik...what did you do?' Isis manage to speak out, slightly trembling. He look up and Isis eyes widen in disbelief.
"Nice to see you again, Isis...."
*End flashback*
"I should have noticed sooner...." she thought to herself. After that incident she contacted Shadi in an attempt to banish the evil spirit but it could not be done because Marik wasn't an evil spirit, he was a part of Malik.
Soon after that she placed him in a psychiatric ward that would help him with the personality problem. Though it was hard, especially since his Marik persona took over and began his old way, of killing and torturing. She refuse to give up on her brother, she knew he would come back to being Malik, she just had to be there for him. Little by little she began to notice signs that Malik was fighting to take control again, but she knew it was so hard for him.
"Especially when he found out the truth about how father died.." she spoke to herself and rubbed her arms finding herself outside, much to her surprise.
"Nee-san"
Isis turned and let a warm smile show "Hello, Malik" she replied.
"How is your therapy?"
"It's ok, the doctors say I'm getting better, I'll be able to leave soon" he replied happily, he was grateful his sister came to visit him every day, she was the fragile little balance the kept him from reverting into Marik again. "No, I don't want that, he did so many things when we first came, I couldn't remember but I knew he tortured those patients" he thought to himself, a small chill crawling down his spine and decided to think of something else. "They're trying something new" he continue and Isis gave him a questioning look.
"No Isis they're not using shock therapy, The play music, mostly piano, they say it helps me be calm" he explain and saw her nod. "They say, that Marik comes out when I'm angry or stressed, so I have to be calm and control my anger" he spoke softly.
"Malik, I know it's been hard for you, but I'm very proud, you've become so strong, look how long you've remain in control" she said with pride.
"Isis.."
"What is it brother?"
"I'm sorry, for what I put you through" he spoke and Isis embraced him suddenly. "Malik, you were manipulated, you didn't know, how could you?' she said softly. "What about everyone else I made suffer, Yuugi, his friends, Ryou..I want to apologize, I don't care about forgiveness, I don't deserve it but, I just want to atone for my sins" he express clenching tightly against her.
"I've never had that chance with father and mother, I.."
"Malik, Mother's death is not your fault and father, as much as I hate to admit, he brought his death upon his own self, by encrypting you with a power never meant to be his and resulting in all of this!"
Malik look up, blue eyes met amethyst as his sister gave him a firm but soft look. She brush a few stray locks back in their place. "Malik, do you feel this strong about making amends? They may not forgive you."
"I know, but I am responsible for my actions, and Marik's, and I just want to be at peace, I get so tired of fighting against him..."
"I'll speak to the doctor then"
"You will?"
Isi nodded her head "I will speak to him right now if you want" she said and he nodded his head "Lets go together" he said.
"All right then" she begin and immediately begin walking back to the office and Malik begin to follow her.
/You can't hold me here forever/
\What the fuck do you want?\
/Malik, so harsh/
"Go away, I won't release you" he growled to himself and felt a sharp pain in his head feeling Marik attempting to take over. "No" he said hoarsely clenching his teeth he felt some of his hair begin to spike "Go away" he said over and over. "Calm down Malik, remember the therapy" he spoke to himself remembering the piano music and it's soothing melody and his hair drop back down his shoulders and he gasp in exhaustion clasping his head.
"Marik, you're not coming out, ever," he said to himself and catch up with his sister. "This is a start of a new beginning for me, and I won't let you take that away from me" he thought upon entering the building with his sister.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"How do we feel?"
"..........."
"Miss Mazaki, please"
"Fuck a vibrator" She snapped at the nurse. The nurse look at her with weariness "At least I got her to talk" she thought to herself. "I'll get you you're breakfast then" she replied and left the room. Anzu growled to herself "Why the hell am I still alive" she muttered to herself.
{You're so filthy even death rejected you} the voice taunted once again and Anzu growled at it. "And I thought I'd be rid of you" she spoke back and begin rubbing her arms, even here she still felt the dirt.
"Dirty..." she began. She hugged her self tighter the tears threatening to spill the last thing she remember was trying to wash away the dirt, but, it just wouldn't come off.
"Then I try to O.D. on some pills" she muttered. Damn it all, couldn't she just rest? Why would she live with the stain she had?
"Damn him, Damn him," she screamed mentally the tears falling freely. Because of him she would be nothing but filth but worst of all an empty shell of which she used to be. She would never be the happy girl she once was.
She was shattered.
She would never look at men the same again, she never wanted to be touch by a man either, even her friends the people she could entrust with, what about them?
"No they would never"
{What's stopping them Anzu? What's stopping them from doing it?}
"Shut-up! They're my friends!"
{Oh please, the only reason you're so called friends hang out with you is so they can screw your brains out}
"Stop it" she snapped her voice rising with anger every moment as she heard the voice laughing at her, mocking her.
{It's the truth}
"No it isn't....they're my friends.." she defended weakly, pulling her knees up to her chest.
{Is that so? Tell me this Anzu, where were they when he grabbed you? Where were they when you screamed out while he cut your flesh? Where were they when he shoved his---}
"SHUT-UP!!!" She screamed. She clasp her neck and begin to choke herself while the voice continue to taunt her.
"Shut up, Shut up shut up" she hoarse squeezing tighter and tighter. The door creaked open and the nurse came in with Anzu's breakfast. "Miss. Mazaki you're breakfast--Oh my god, WHAT ARE YOU DOING" she exclaimed. She dropped the plate and ran to her immediately trying to pry Anzu's hands off her neck.
"She's too strong, SOMEONE HELP!!!"
Anzu slowly stopped breathing and she let a smile come on her face "I'll shut you up this time" she thought but soon found herself pinned down on her bed. "LET ME GO!!" She screeched at the two male nurses holding her down. She immediately begin to have the awful flashback. When she was held down like this, before he made her dirty.
Anzu begin to panic, caught in the grip of her memory and she begin to thrash violently.
"NO!!! LET ME GO!!!"
"Miss Mazaki please calm down"
"HELP SOMEONE HELP!! YUUGI, JOUNOUCHI, HELP!!! PLEASE!!" She screamed, her eyes wild with fear. "Damn it, she won't listen, someone bring a tranquilizer," The nurse shouted attempting to calm down the screaming brunette.
"YUUGI!!! YAMI!! HELP ME!!! PLEASE STOP!!! STOP!!!!!!" She cried out tears streaming down her face. "Stop..it hurts..." she choke, her back arching up and she thrash dangerously again and let out a blood chilling scream. She suddenly felt something sharp and slim enter her skin. She looked down seeing a needle in her and she begin to feel tired.
So tired.
"Anzu?" a voice spoke to her and she look at the nurse dazed. "Anzu, we gave something to calm yourself down, so just sleep" the nurse said. "He..made...me....dirty" were her last words before becoming unconscious.
The male nurse let go and left to go back to their duties, only the nurse remained. She look at the girl in sad silence she knew what happen to her; she herself experienced it.
"He shattered you, didn't he?" she spoke to the comatose girl now sleeping peacefully.
"Nurse?"
"Oh, Dr.Reyako" The nurse replied. The doctor came him and studied the girl "Is she the one that attempted to O.D.?" he ask and the nurse nodded. "She should be fine after we pumped her stomach; thank goodness her parents brought her in so soon, so she'll be alright."
"I beg to differ"
Reyako look at the nurse questioningly "What do you mean?" he ask and the nurse began to tell him of the recent happenings. "Oh dear" he replied after hearing this, wiping his glasses with a cloth.
"I think that's why she attempted suicide" the nurse spoke and saw the doctor with a pensive face. "Well, her mother and father know right?"
"........"
"Unfortunately I can't tell them, confidentiality, but I will talk to her when she wakes up tomorrow." he spoke and left the room. Leaving the nurse with her once again. Anzu begin to move once again in her sleep hugging herself, trembling while sniffling timidly.
"No...please....don't...."
"Not even in sleep she can rest......"
TbC
* * * * * * * * * * * *
OK peeps another chappie is done geez I never thought I see the day I would write something so dark, it's usually not me style but then again listening to ten hours of Malice Mizer does that to you
Please review and I would like to get helpful feed back from this thankies
fOX