Background: Hey guys this is lobster and friendscrazeed. This is our
first joint fanfic. Ross and Rachel have been dating again for almost two
years. Six months ago, they moved into a house across the street from
Monica and Chandler's, outside the city. Phoebe and Mike still live in NY
and they have a daughter named Sophie who is two years old. Monica and
Chandler have twins, Daniel and Megan (Meggie) who are four, and Joey has
been married for one year to Carmen Scism, and he has two stepkids from her
first marriage named Audrey (5) and Mary Claire (3), and his wife is
pregnant with their first child. Emma is five years old. That's all ya
need to know, the beginning might be a lil confusing, but please READ AND
REVIEW
Rachel stared incredulously at Mark. "The job is where?"
"Paris."
Her mind whirled. "Paris, France?"
Marks eyes were amused as he sarcastically answered, "No, Rach, Paris, California. Or if you prefer, Paris, Utah." She gave him a look showing she wasn't amused. "No? Paris, Maine? Paris, North Carolina?"
She shook her head. "Try Paris, Manhattan. No, there's. . .there's no way."
Mark gave her a surprised look. "Rachel, did you not hear what I said? Didn't you hear the salary? Didn't you hear the terms of this job? This is an amazing opportunity for you! Why wouldn't you take it?"
Rachel shot him a cold look. "Because of my daughter. And my boyfriend."
Mark rolled his eyes slightly. Thanks to Ross' attitude toward him, Mark wasn't overly fond of Ross, either. "Emma could go with you."
"I don't want to raise my daughter in France. I don't want to leave Ross."
Mark held up his hands. "Okay, okay. I'm just telling you what we have available."
Rachel sat forward in her seat, breathing a sigh of relief. "Okay, what else is there."
"Nothing."
She groaned. "I'm sorry, Mark, this is really nice of you, but I just can't." It wasn't like she was unemployed or anything. She and Ross had run into Mark on the street, and he'd asked her about her job. It turned out Louis Vuitton had some big openings, 'if she was interested' so she'd agreed to hear about it. "Thanks, Mark, but no."
Mark nodded, but it was clear by the look on his face he thought she was making a huge mistake. Doubt crept into Rachel's mind, making her uncomfortable.
Mark spoke slowly and deliberately. "Rachel. This money. . .it's a lot more then you were making at Ralph Lauren. This is an amazing opportunity for you. If you don't take this job, you're going to be unemployed. Who knows how long you're going to be unemployed. Is it fair to rely on Ross to support your daughter?"
Rachel felt a flash of irritation-that comment was unnecessary-but then she realized he was right.
Her voice faltering slightly, she hesitantly said, "Maybe, but I don't. . .know. . ."
"You're not going to get another job like this, you know. Most companies are going to make you start at the bottom."
Rachel poked absently at her salad, Mark's words circling in her mind, mixing with images of Ross and Emma. Ross' face settled into her mind and she quickly replied. "No, Mark! No, I'm sorry, and thank you, but I can't leave Ross."
Mark looked disappointed. "Oh. Well, I GUESS I can understand that." He sighed. Then he smiled again. "Unless he comes with you."
"I can't ask him to do that."
"Look, Rach, when you two dated back when I was working at Bloomingdale's, I saw how crazy he was about you. I saw the 'love bug'." Rachel's lips tightened and her eyes narrowed. "He was crazy about you."
"And?"
"So if he loves you half as much as you say, then he'll move for you in a minute."
Rachel shook her head. "I can't ask him for that!"
Mark sat back, exhaling slowly, frustrated. "Okay, okay. Just. . .don't say no until you talk to him."
"But-"
"Please. Rach, you need to think about this. Don't make a split decision you know you'll regret."
Rachel hesitated. She was fairly certain she wouldn't change her mind. But still, it couldn't hurt to wait and talk to Ross.
"Okay."
Mark grinned. "Great." He seemed to think Ross would insist she take it, insist on coming with her. She fought the urge to roll her eyes.
The dinner ended shortly after the matter of the job was dropped, and when Rachel got back to her and Ross' house in Scarsdale, the one they'd moved into together a year ago-Ross was waiting.
"How, how was the dinner? Was Mark nice was he great?"
"Yeah, he's really nice."
Ross gritted his teeth. "Really? I can't imagine what that swarmy letch could possible want with you-"
Rachel was caught between amusement and exasperation. "Wow, you don't hold a grudge do you?" She told him sarcastically. "FYI, he's happily married. His wife just had twins."
Relieved, Ross collapsed into a chair. "Should we send something?"
Rachel couldn't help but smile. "Where's Emma?"
"Sleeping." Ross motioned for Rachel to sit down on his lap, and she did. He put his arms around her and took her hands. "So how did it go?"
"Well. . ." She hesitated. It didn't seem like a good time. "He's going to see about some jobs and stay in touch with me."
Ross rolled his eyes. "So Mark will be calling here constantly? Great."
"HAPPILY married, Ross."
"Yeah well, he strikes me as the type that would cheat on his wife."
Rachel hit him playfully on the shoulder. She then leaned back, lying against his chest, closing her eyes and enjoying the moment.
"By the way, I'm going to be working late tomorrow again. Honey and I have to go over some-"
"What?!" Rachel interrupted him, sitting up from his chest and turning around the face him. "You and Honey are working late together again? That's like the fourth night this week."
Ross nodded. "I know, it's crazy."
Rachel glanced at him. "You never worked late until you started mentoring this Honey person."
"Rach. . ."
"I'm just saying!" Honey was a young, blonde, blue-eyed new professor who Ross' boss had asked him to mentor. Ever since he'd agreed, he'd been working late with her constantly.
Ross got a taunting look on his face, causing Rachel's annoyance to build. "Are you jealous of Honey?"
In a mocking tone, Rachel said, "No I'm not jealous of Honey." Ross looked doubtful. "I'm just mad because you're always out late. I never get to see you anymore." She wrapped her arms around Ross and kissed him. "How late is late?"
"Midnight-ish."
She drew back. "Ross!"
He got a guilty look on his face. "I'm sorry, Rach, I can't help it."
Rachel sighed and turned, walking into the kitchen, wanting to avoid an argument.
Ross followed, alarmed that she was seriously angry. "Rach, c'mon. You don't actually believe something's going on with Honey, do you?"
"No. I mean. . .NO! I'm sorry, sweetie, but, um . . .I just didn't want. . ." She trailed off.
"What?"
In a rush, she said, "I don't want history to repeat itself."
Ross' eyes narrowed. "So now you're throwing that in my face? I thought when we got back together we agreed it was over and forgiven."
"It is Ross!" At his look, she quickly dismissed it. "I'm sorry, okay, I shouldn't have mentioned it."
Doubt crept across his face, and he shook his head, then turned and went into the bathroom. "Ross!" She followed him quickly, but he slammed the door. Seconds later, she heard the shower cut on.
Sighing, Rachel went into Emma's room. She smiled down at the sleeping five year old. Dark hair like her father's, bright blue eyes like her mom's.
Rachel crept out, walking into her and Ross' bedroom. She was suddenly exhausted. After putting on flannel pants and the Frankie Say Relax T-shirt, Rachel crawled into bed, waiting for Ross, staring at the ceiling.
He came into the room soon, not bothering to turn on the light as he put on some sweat pants. Silently, he crawled into bed next to Rachel, not bothering to say anything to her.
She was quiet for a second, waiting for him to speak. Finally, she whispered, "Ross?"
He didn't answer.
"Ross!"
He shifted, facing the wall. Tears pooled in Rachel's eyes. "Ross, I'm sorry." Her voice shook slightly.
He sighed, turning back, pulling himself up on one elbow. "I know, Rach, but. . .I don't want to feel like you're accusing me of something. I don't want to be constantly reminded of Chloe."
Rachel nodded silently.
"I don't want you using that against me every time something else happens. That's not fair. You agreed to move on, to forgive and forget. You're not doing that, Rach. And I need you to trust me, and to understand that I have to think of my job, and just because it's with Honey doesn't mean something is going to happen."
Rachel shook her head, tears streaming down her face, glad it was dark so Ross couldn't see. She hated arguing with him. She was always afraid it would lead to something bigger. "I know. I'm sorry, Ross, I just. . .after everything that happened before, it's hard for me to believe that I'm not going to, to l-lose you again." Her voice faltered, and Ross' anger melted.
He wrapped his arms around Rachel. "Don't cry, sweetie. I'm sorry. I know it's hard but. . ." He trailed off, kissing her hair.
Later, they drifted off to sleep, Rachel still in Ross' arms. A dream came and troubled her.
Ross and Rachel's wedding:
Joey: Repeat after me. I Ross. . .
Ross: I Ross. . .
Joey: Take thee Rachel. . .
Ross: Take thee Honey . . .
Rachel woke up, sick with guilt, fear and jealousy. Ross would never do that to her. Cheat with Honey, that is. . .
A nagging voice told her, "That's what you thought last time when Gunther told you about Chloe, remember?"
It was true.
~Flashback~
Rachel was giddy with relief as she walked into the coffee house. She had woken up hating herself for making the worst mistake of her life: telling Ross they needed to take a break.
As soon as he'd slammed the door last night, she'd regretted it. She'd spent the night waiting by the phone, desperately trying to call him, until Mark had come over, despite protests.
That, of course, had been the moment Ross chose to call. He heard Mark and drew his own conclusions.
Rachel had spent the rest of the night waiting, desperately calling his house listening to it ring until the machine came on, hanging up. She'd finally given in to the fact that he didn't want to talk to her. So she finally left a message, went to bed, and cried herself to a desperate sleep.
It was okay now. She'd gone to see him that morning, and everything was okay. He didn't seem mad. A little nervous, but Rachel didn't care. . .they were back together.
"Hey Gunther." She said cheerfully. "Double Mocha Chino."
He began to fix it, and commented, "Bummer about you and Ross."
"No, no, it's all okay. Everything's fine now, just a mistake."
Gunther looked surprised. "I'm surprised you could take him back after what he did."
Protesting, she said quickly, "He didn't do anything! I'm the one who wanted that break."
Gunther looked at her skeptically. "That still doesn't seem like an excuse for him to sleep with that Xerox girl Chloe."
The mug fell to the floor and shattered. Rachel stood in numb shock as Gunther calmly got a broom and began sweeping up the glass.
"Wh-what?"
"yeah. They met up at some party last night, go a little drunk, and ended up at his apartment. My roommate's brother works with Chloe and she told him."
He fixed her another mocha chino and Rachel walked numbly over the window, dazed. Tears stung her eyes, but she fiercely told herself, "No way. Ross loves you, and he would never do that to you. He's not that kind of person."
No sooner had she decided that, that Ross tore into the coffee house, "Gunther! Gunther! Please tell me you didn't say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the copy place."
And right in that moment, Rachel's heart and her world shattered. . .like the coffee mug.
~End of Flashback~
Rachel shook her head. It was over, she couldn't think about that anymore. She'd agreed: forgive and forget.
But could she really forget something that had changed her entire life in the worst way? Could she really forget what had caused the worst night of her life?
The next morning, Rachel and Ross didn't mention the fight from last night, until Ross was about to leave for work and Emma had gone to brush her teeth before Rachel took her to kindergarten.
Ross put his arms around Rachel and kissed her gently. She smiled up at him, "Ross, I'm really sorry about last night. I shouldn't have-"
He put a finger over her lips. "It's okay, Rach, forget it." He kissed her once more, longer this time. "I love you. I'll try to get done as soon as I can tonight."
"What's the latest you'll be home?"
"Midnight. No later. I promise."
"Okay. I'll be waiting."
"Rach, you don't have to stay up and wait for me."
"If I go to sleep, wake me up."
He grinned. "Promise."
"Thanks. I love you."
"Love you, too."
Emma came down then, and Ross picked her up and swung her around. "Bye Angel."
"Bye Daddy. Love you."
"Love you more. Have fun at school." He kissed her on the forehead.
"Okay, Daddy."
Ross kissed Rachel quickly again, then left for work. Rachel sighed as he left. Then she turned to Emma. "Okay, girlie, let's get ready for school."
After Emma had been dropped off at kindergarten, Rachel went on to work, trying to concentrate and not think about Ross and Honey.
The rest of the day was fairly normal. She'd gone to lunch with Monica at her restaurant, then returned to work. After that, she picked Emma up at school, helped her with her "homework", and got a report done for her boss that afternoon.
About suppertime, she'd taken Emma over to Chandler's where he was watching her and the twins, Daniel and Meggie, who were four and a half, while Monica and Rachel went to dinner with Phoebe in The City.
They met Phoebe at a restaurant they'd all used to go to together. The three of them tried to do something together often, so they could keep in touch.
The usual chatting was going on, but it seemed like Rachel was barely chiming in. Monica and Phoebe both noticed, and they glanced at each other, speaking with their eyes. Monica asked carefully, "Rach, is everything okay?"
Rachel glanced up, taking in the concerned faces of her best friends. She slowly shook her head. "Yes. . . no. . .I don't know."
"What's wrong, sweetie?"
"Yeah, your auras all dark and troubled."
Rachel drew a shaky breath. "It's just Ross." She slowly told them about Honey, how late he was working, and about the fight last night. "I know it's crazy, but I just keep thinking about Chloe and everything that happened with that."
Monica gave her a sympathetic look. "Rach, I know it seems hard right now, but I really don't think you have anything to worry about. Ross loves you, and he learned his lesson big time."
"I guess."
After several more minutes of reassurance by Phoebe and Monica, Rachel told them she didn't want to talk about it anymore and they moved on.
The rest of the dinner was fun, but Rachel was glad when it was over, and she picked Emma up and they went home.
As she tucked her daughter into bed, Emma looked up at her. "Mommy? Why is Daddy never here to tell me goodnight anymore?"
Rachel swallowed hard, looking into Emma's big blue eyes, and she struggled to explain. "Daddy's work is having him do a lot of extra things for them, sweetie. Hopefully, thought, it will be over soon, and he'll be here all the time to kiss you goodnight."
"Okay, Mommy. Love you."
Rachel smiled. "Love you, too, angel." She kissed Emma on the forehead and pulled the covers up over her.
"Mommy? Tell Daddy I said I love him and goodnight, okay?"
"Okay, sweetie."
Rachel turned out the light and walked out of Emma's room, leaving the door cracked like Emma always wanted it.
The rest of the night crept by. Rachel started watching for Ross around eleven, since he'd promised midnight at the latest.
Midnight came, and there was no sign of him.
Rachel waited another fifteen minutes and tried his cell phone. It rang seven times before his voice mail picked up. Rachel didn't bother leaving a message, just hung up angrily.
She fell asleep about fifteen till one.
"Mommy?" A small voice said, shaking Rachel out of a light sleep. She stared into the darkness and saw Emma standing at the foot of her bed.
"Hey sweetie what's wrong?" Rachel glanced at the bright digits on her alarm clock: 3:48. The side of the bed next to her was empty.
Emma sounded close to tears. "Mommy, I had a, a bad dream. Can I sleep with you?"
"Sure, baby." Emma slid up into bed next to Rachel, snuggling under her arm.
"Mommy, where's Daddy? Why isn't he home yet?"
Rachel's voice shook slightly. "I don't know sweetie. I guess he's still working."
Emma's breathing soon became steady, showing she was asleep. Rachel's eyes filled with tears, which flooded down her face in the darkness. Ross had lied. It was WAY past midnight and he was still at the office with that Honey person.
She closed her eyes, choking back a sob, pressing her face into a pillow, trying to get her hurt and anger under control. She finally pushed Ross' pillows off the bed and slowly eased Emma to the other side of the bed, and Rachel lay down in the middle, making it impossible for anyone else to join her in the bed.
She lay on her back, tears sliding down the side her face and clinging to her hair and she finally fell asleep again, just minutes before the headlights of Ross' car lit up the window.
Rachel woke up at six thirty, feeling like she'd barely slept at all. Ross was already gone. . .he'd apparently not wanted to face her that morning. There was note stuck on the mirror.
Rach-sorry I was so late last night, we need to talk. I love you. Be home at nine tonight. –Ross.
Rachel fought tears back and went into the bathroom to take a shower.
Later, after she'd gotten Emma off to kindergarten, Rachel left for work. She was feeling lousy about Ross, obsessing with what might have happened last night, and constantly found herself close to tears.
She finally decided to take the afternoon off "sick" and went home. Exhausted, Rachel lay down on the couch and instantly fell asleep.
That night, Emma was in bed and Rachel was in the kitchen, working on a marketing report, when she heard keys turn in the door.
Ross entered, a look of dread on his face. "Hey, Rach."
She didn't answer him, just glared.
"Listen, please don't be mad. I'm sorry I was so late-"
"Why?" Her voice was cold.
"The work ran over, there was more to do then I'd figured on." He gave her a desperate look.
"That's awfully convenient, Ross."
"Rachel what else could it possibly be!"
There was silence. Then Rachel told him. "Think back to when we were first going out. What ended that, Ross?"
"Rachel, no. I would never do that. Rach, I love you, how could you not trust me?"
Choked with tears, Rachel raised her voice, yelling, "Because of past experience of what happens when I trust you, Ross! You betray that trust!" She started to sob.
Desperately, Ross grabbed her shoulders. "Rach, I swear I didn't. I swear to God I wouldn't. . ."
Rachel shook her head, pulling away. "This probably isn't even the first time, Ross! You've probably done it all these nights you were 'working late'."
"How can you not trust me more then this????"
Rachel just shook her head.
Ross was angry now. "FINE! But you know what you hated that I did to you when we were going out the first time?"
"SLEEPING WITH SOMEONE ELSE?"
"NO! Accusing you of betraying me with Mark. Being obsessively jealous of him when nothing was going on. Now you're doing the same thing, Rachel. I'm not the one repeating history. YOU ARE. And do you also remember the reason Emily and I divorced? She couldn't trust me. If you don't trust me, then this is never going to work. And you clearly don't."
Rachel stood there, just staring at him.
"I got to get out of here." Ross grabbed his coat and left slamming the door. Rachel followed.
"Ross!"
He cranked his car and pulled away, speeding up the street.
Rachel started sobbing. She suddenly felt horrible about herself. Ross was right, she was doing exactly what he'd done with Mark. Were they breaking up?
She couldn't stand the thought of being the cause of a break up. She loved Ross so much, she thought they were finally together.
She went and picked up a sleeping Emma. Emma was a deep sleeper, so Rachel wasn't worried about waking her up.
She carried her across the sleep to Monica and Chandler's. Monica answered the door and Rachel walked in without a word.
"Rach what's wrong?"
Rachel choked back another sob. "Ross-"
Monica put an arm around her best friend. "Chandler, put Emma in the guest bed." Chandler obeyed, gently taking his niece and walking to the guest room.
Monica led Rachel to the couch. "Sweetie, what happened?"
Through sobs, Rachel told Monica about how late Ross had gotten in the night before, how she had been sure he'd cheated on her again, about the fight, and about what Ross had said.
"M-Mon I've ruined this. This is the best thing that had ever happened to me, Mon, getting back together with Ross, and now I've blown it."
"Rach, no you haven't."
"He, he said it couldn't work if I don't trust him! Mon, I'm a terrible person. I did to him exactly what he did to me years ago."
While Monica consoled Rachel, Ross was driving away from it all, angry and driving faster then HE'D ever driven before.
He finally pulled into the university, which was empty, and unlocked the door and walked up the stairs and into his empty office.
Ten minutes later, Honey Kimble was driving down the road, on her way back from her friends house, where they'd had a party. She was fresh out of college, working as a professor for mere amusement, and she had her eye on Ross Geller.
She saw his car at the office and sensed an opportunity. She pulled into the parking lot and let herself into the building, heading up to Ross' office.
"Ross?"
He stared up at her, looking exhausted, angry and depressed. "Oh, hey Honey. What are you doing here?"
She casually walked into his office and leaned over his desk. "I was just driving by and saw your car. . .I was making sure nothing had happened at work."
"No, no, everything's. . .everything's fine."
"So why are you here?"
"Rachel and I had a fight, that's all."
"Aw, I'm so sorry."
"It's okay."
"Do ya want something to drink? I've got a cooler in the car."
He shook his head. "Nah, you don't have to go back to your car-"
She reached out into the hallway and drug in a huge cooler. "It's okay. I just came from a friends house, a little get together. I was bringing some drinks to restock my mini fridge but, um, there's plenty to spare."
Ross grabbed a beer gratefully and downed it in a few gulps. HE took another without even asking.
Honey grinned. This was her lucky day.
It had been almost three hours since Ross had left. Rachel and Monica had been talking, and Rachel wanted to apologize to him.
"I have to tell him I'm sorry Mon, I have to make him believe I trust him. Where do you think he went?"
Monica thought and shrugged. "A hotel, maybe? Just drive around, look for his car. He's probably near his office."
"Thanks, Mon. I'll go look. Can Emma stay here?"
"Sure." They stood, and Rachel gave her best friend a grateful smile.
"Thanks, Mon. You're the best." They hugged. "I don't know what I'd do without you."
"Aw, Rach, it's no problem. Good luck."
"Thanks."
Soon, Rachel was driving past Ross' office, trying to think of which hotel he would go to.
She froze as she pasted the university, and she pulled her car into the parking lot in disbelief. Ross' car was there, and there was a red sports car next to it.
Rachel's heart was pounding as she ran up the stairs, toward the offices. Ross' was open, and their was a light on. But it was empty-except for the empty beer bottles scattered everywhere.
Suddenly she noticed a light on down the hall.
The Lounge.
Rachel ran down the hall, and froze in the doorway, staring in horror at what was her worst nightmare.
Clothes were everywhere on the room. Ross and Honey were lying on the couch, asleep, under a blanket, nude.
Rachel put a hand over her mouth, and she started to sob. It was true. She turned, her head spinning, her body shaking with sobs, and she knocked over a lamp.
Ross and Honey woke up. Ross stared at her, realized he wasn't wearing any clothes, realized how drunk he was, and realized Rachel was there, sobbing in shock.
"Rach, no, it's not-"
But she turned and ran down the hall, sobbing uncontrollably, realizing it had happened again, he'd cheated on her
Ross pulled on his underwear, ignoring Honey's smirk, and pants as he ran after Rachel. She was just about to run downstairs, when she ran into his office, and grabbed an empty bottle of beer and Ross' car keys
Ross ran after her, yelling desperately. "Rach, no, please. Give me another chance, this is the first time, it was a drunken mistake, honest, Rach, I love you. It was a drunken mistake."
They were outside by then and Rachel turned, furious and still sobbing. "Another one? Ross this-this is the second time it's happened! THAT I KNOW OF! Oh my God, how could you do this to me!" She broke down completely.
"Rach, I'm sorry. . .I love you-"
"I'm really starting to hate how you use those words." Rachel whispered. "Because I don't think they mean anything anymore. I think it's just supposed to get you out of stuff. Well ya know what Ross? Forget it. It's too late. You don't get a second chance, okay?"
Ross put a hand on her shoulder and she jerked away. "No, Ross. It's over."
She turned and got into her car, still holding his keys. She threw the empty bottle of beer on the ground, and it shattered into pieces.
As it shattered, Rachel's heart shattered. Her life shattered. "Here. That's a little something to remind you of what caused this. I hope that time with Honey was worth it. Congratulations."
She cranked the car, pressed a foot on the accelerator and sped off, leaving Ross standing in the parking lot.
Rachel went into her house, sobbing hysterically, dragging out suitcases and throwing things in bags.
In an hour, she'd hastily packed everything that was hers and Emma's. She called Mark's cell phone. His voice was groggy.
"Hello?"
"Mark it's Rachel. Sorry to call you so late-"
"It's okay, I was up with the twins anyway."
"Oh. Um, listen I am going to take that Paris job. Did you say there was a large apartment included."
"Yes, Rach, I can let them know tomorrow."
"When's the soonest I can leave?"
"Tomorrow."
"I'm going."
"Excellent. Rach, you won't regret it. Call me tomorrow morning and we'll finalize everything."
"Okay."
Trembling, she hung up the phone, grabbed the suitcases and loaded them into her car. She drove across the Monica's and pulled the car into the backyard.
She rang the doorbell countless times before Monica opened the door, blinking against the light. She saw Rachel, her eyes red and swollen, face wet with tears. "Oh my God, what happened?"
Rachel started to cry again, and Monica led her to the couch. Sitting with an arm around her, Monica gently asked. "Rach what happened?"
Rachel slowly choked out everything. She told Monica what had happened when she went to Ross' office.
Monica's mouth hung open. "Oh my God. I can't believe he would do that. Rach, sweetie I'm so sorry."
"I'm, I'm moving to Paris."
"Wh-what?"
"M-Mark he offered me a job in Paris, and I'm going to take it. Emma and I are leaving tomorrow."
Monica felt like she'd been slapped in the face. "Rachel, no, don't. Please don't move, you can't, Rach."
"I have to."
Monica protested for awhile, but then Rachel started to cry again, and Monica let it go. She put her arms around her best friend, and Rachel sobbed into Monica's shoulder.
Later, Rachel was asleep in the guest room next to Emma, and Monica went back up to her and Chandler's room.
Chandler stared at her, confused. "What happened?"
Monica took a deep, shaky breath. "Ross cheated on Rachel."
"WHAT???!!!"
"SSShhh, the twins are in the next room."
"I know. But whhhhhhhaaaaaaaatttt?"
"Rachel went to find him, and he was in the office lounge with Honey...clothes everywhere. . .sleeping."
"Sleeping?"
"They were probably tired from all the sex."
"Oh God."
Monica bit her lip. "Rachel's moving to Paris." She quickly explained to Chandler about Mark and the job.
Tears streamed down Monica's cheeks and she started to cry. "Chandler she can't leave. She'd my best friend."
"I know." Chandler wrapped his arms around his wife, and she cried in his chest.
Downstairs, Rachel was bent over a notebook, writing a letter to Ross.
Ross,
I guess you know now I'm in Paris. Mark offered me a job there, and I wasn't going to take it. I changed my mind. I need to leave. I was coming to find you to tell you I'm sorry for not trusting you. I thought I was way out of line, and I felt terrible. I guess I was right.
I love you, Ross, but I can't trust you anymore. You're the only man I ever really love, and probably the only one I ever will. I love you so much I would never do anything to lose you, or to hurt you. I guess you don't.
It hurts to leave. I'm not sorry for leaving, but I'm sorry for doing this to Emma. I'll write you a letter about custody arrangements.
That's all I can say. What else is there? I want to hate you, Ross, but I can't. I love you. And that just makes it worse.
Rach
She put the pen down, reread the letter and folded it up. She'd give it to Monica and Chandler the next day to give to him.
Rachel stared down at Emma. She put her arms around the little girl, kissing her hair. Tears dripped off Rachel's face into Emma's dark hair. She whispered. "Baby girl, I love you so much. I'm sorry about doing this to you. You don't deserve it." She kissed her again, then lay her back down on the pillow. Rachel lay next to her, and started to sob silently, and she turned and cried herself to sleep.
Rachel stared incredulously at Mark. "The job is where?"
"Paris."
Her mind whirled. "Paris, France?"
Marks eyes were amused as he sarcastically answered, "No, Rach, Paris, California. Or if you prefer, Paris, Utah." She gave him a look showing she wasn't amused. "No? Paris, Maine? Paris, North Carolina?"
She shook her head. "Try Paris, Manhattan. No, there's. . .there's no way."
Mark gave her a surprised look. "Rachel, did you not hear what I said? Didn't you hear the salary? Didn't you hear the terms of this job? This is an amazing opportunity for you! Why wouldn't you take it?"
Rachel shot him a cold look. "Because of my daughter. And my boyfriend."
Mark rolled his eyes slightly. Thanks to Ross' attitude toward him, Mark wasn't overly fond of Ross, either. "Emma could go with you."
"I don't want to raise my daughter in France. I don't want to leave Ross."
Mark held up his hands. "Okay, okay. I'm just telling you what we have available."
Rachel sat forward in her seat, breathing a sigh of relief. "Okay, what else is there."
"Nothing."
She groaned. "I'm sorry, Mark, this is really nice of you, but I just can't." It wasn't like she was unemployed or anything. She and Ross had run into Mark on the street, and he'd asked her about her job. It turned out Louis Vuitton had some big openings, 'if she was interested' so she'd agreed to hear about it. "Thanks, Mark, but no."
Mark nodded, but it was clear by the look on his face he thought she was making a huge mistake. Doubt crept into Rachel's mind, making her uncomfortable.
Mark spoke slowly and deliberately. "Rachel. This money. . .it's a lot more then you were making at Ralph Lauren. This is an amazing opportunity for you. If you don't take this job, you're going to be unemployed. Who knows how long you're going to be unemployed. Is it fair to rely on Ross to support your daughter?"
Rachel felt a flash of irritation-that comment was unnecessary-but then she realized he was right.
Her voice faltering slightly, she hesitantly said, "Maybe, but I don't. . .know. . ."
"You're not going to get another job like this, you know. Most companies are going to make you start at the bottom."
Rachel poked absently at her salad, Mark's words circling in her mind, mixing with images of Ross and Emma. Ross' face settled into her mind and she quickly replied. "No, Mark! No, I'm sorry, and thank you, but I can't leave Ross."
Mark looked disappointed. "Oh. Well, I GUESS I can understand that." He sighed. Then he smiled again. "Unless he comes with you."
"I can't ask him to do that."
"Look, Rach, when you two dated back when I was working at Bloomingdale's, I saw how crazy he was about you. I saw the 'love bug'." Rachel's lips tightened and her eyes narrowed. "He was crazy about you."
"And?"
"So if he loves you half as much as you say, then he'll move for you in a minute."
Rachel shook her head. "I can't ask him for that!"
Mark sat back, exhaling slowly, frustrated. "Okay, okay. Just. . .don't say no until you talk to him."
"But-"
"Please. Rach, you need to think about this. Don't make a split decision you know you'll regret."
Rachel hesitated. She was fairly certain she wouldn't change her mind. But still, it couldn't hurt to wait and talk to Ross.
"Okay."
Mark grinned. "Great." He seemed to think Ross would insist she take it, insist on coming with her. She fought the urge to roll her eyes.
The dinner ended shortly after the matter of the job was dropped, and when Rachel got back to her and Ross' house in Scarsdale, the one they'd moved into together a year ago-Ross was waiting.
"How, how was the dinner? Was Mark nice was he great?"
"Yeah, he's really nice."
Ross gritted his teeth. "Really? I can't imagine what that swarmy letch could possible want with you-"
Rachel was caught between amusement and exasperation. "Wow, you don't hold a grudge do you?" She told him sarcastically. "FYI, he's happily married. His wife just had twins."
Relieved, Ross collapsed into a chair. "Should we send something?"
Rachel couldn't help but smile. "Where's Emma?"
"Sleeping." Ross motioned for Rachel to sit down on his lap, and she did. He put his arms around her and took her hands. "So how did it go?"
"Well. . ." She hesitated. It didn't seem like a good time. "He's going to see about some jobs and stay in touch with me."
Ross rolled his eyes. "So Mark will be calling here constantly? Great."
"HAPPILY married, Ross."
"Yeah well, he strikes me as the type that would cheat on his wife."
Rachel hit him playfully on the shoulder. She then leaned back, lying against his chest, closing her eyes and enjoying the moment.
"By the way, I'm going to be working late tomorrow again. Honey and I have to go over some-"
"What?!" Rachel interrupted him, sitting up from his chest and turning around the face him. "You and Honey are working late together again? That's like the fourth night this week."
Ross nodded. "I know, it's crazy."
Rachel glanced at him. "You never worked late until you started mentoring this Honey person."
"Rach. . ."
"I'm just saying!" Honey was a young, blonde, blue-eyed new professor who Ross' boss had asked him to mentor. Ever since he'd agreed, he'd been working late with her constantly.
Ross got a taunting look on his face, causing Rachel's annoyance to build. "Are you jealous of Honey?"
In a mocking tone, Rachel said, "No I'm not jealous of Honey." Ross looked doubtful. "I'm just mad because you're always out late. I never get to see you anymore." She wrapped her arms around Ross and kissed him. "How late is late?"
"Midnight-ish."
She drew back. "Ross!"
He got a guilty look on his face. "I'm sorry, Rach, I can't help it."
Rachel sighed and turned, walking into the kitchen, wanting to avoid an argument.
Ross followed, alarmed that she was seriously angry. "Rach, c'mon. You don't actually believe something's going on with Honey, do you?"
"No. I mean. . .NO! I'm sorry, sweetie, but, um . . .I just didn't want. . ." She trailed off.
"What?"
In a rush, she said, "I don't want history to repeat itself."
Ross' eyes narrowed. "So now you're throwing that in my face? I thought when we got back together we agreed it was over and forgiven."
"It is Ross!" At his look, she quickly dismissed it. "I'm sorry, okay, I shouldn't have mentioned it."
Doubt crept across his face, and he shook his head, then turned and went into the bathroom. "Ross!" She followed him quickly, but he slammed the door. Seconds later, she heard the shower cut on.
Sighing, Rachel went into Emma's room. She smiled down at the sleeping five year old. Dark hair like her father's, bright blue eyes like her mom's.
Rachel crept out, walking into her and Ross' bedroom. She was suddenly exhausted. After putting on flannel pants and the Frankie Say Relax T-shirt, Rachel crawled into bed, waiting for Ross, staring at the ceiling.
He came into the room soon, not bothering to turn on the light as he put on some sweat pants. Silently, he crawled into bed next to Rachel, not bothering to say anything to her.
She was quiet for a second, waiting for him to speak. Finally, she whispered, "Ross?"
He didn't answer.
"Ross!"
He shifted, facing the wall. Tears pooled in Rachel's eyes. "Ross, I'm sorry." Her voice shook slightly.
He sighed, turning back, pulling himself up on one elbow. "I know, Rach, but. . .I don't want to feel like you're accusing me of something. I don't want to be constantly reminded of Chloe."
Rachel nodded silently.
"I don't want you using that against me every time something else happens. That's not fair. You agreed to move on, to forgive and forget. You're not doing that, Rach. And I need you to trust me, and to understand that I have to think of my job, and just because it's with Honey doesn't mean something is going to happen."
Rachel shook her head, tears streaming down her face, glad it was dark so Ross couldn't see. She hated arguing with him. She was always afraid it would lead to something bigger. "I know. I'm sorry, Ross, I just. . .after everything that happened before, it's hard for me to believe that I'm not going to, to l-lose you again." Her voice faltered, and Ross' anger melted.
He wrapped his arms around Rachel. "Don't cry, sweetie. I'm sorry. I know it's hard but. . ." He trailed off, kissing her hair.
Later, they drifted off to sleep, Rachel still in Ross' arms. A dream came and troubled her.
Ross and Rachel's wedding:
Joey: Repeat after me. I Ross. . .
Ross: I Ross. . .
Joey: Take thee Rachel. . .
Ross: Take thee Honey . . .
Rachel woke up, sick with guilt, fear and jealousy. Ross would never do that to her. Cheat with Honey, that is. . .
A nagging voice told her, "That's what you thought last time when Gunther told you about Chloe, remember?"
It was true.
~Flashback~
Rachel was giddy with relief as she walked into the coffee house. She had woken up hating herself for making the worst mistake of her life: telling Ross they needed to take a break.
As soon as he'd slammed the door last night, she'd regretted it. She'd spent the night waiting by the phone, desperately trying to call him, until Mark had come over, despite protests.
That, of course, had been the moment Ross chose to call. He heard Mark and drew his own conclusions.
Rachel had spent the rest of the night waiting, desperately calling his house listening to it ring until the machine came on, hanging up. She'd finally given in to the fact that he didn't want to talk to her. So she finally left a message, went to bed, and cried herself to a desperate sleep.
It was okay now. She'd gone to see him that morning, and everything was okay. He didn't seem mad. A little nervous, but Rachel didn't care. . .they were back together.
"Hey Gunther." She said cheerfully. "Double Mocha Chino."
He began to fix it, and commented, "Bummer about you and Ross."
"No, no, it's all okay. Everything's fine now, just a mistake."
Gunther looked surprised. "I'm surprised you could take him back after what he did."
Protesting, she said quickly, "He didn't do anything! I'm the one who wanted that break."
Gunther looked at her skeptically. "That still doesn't seem like an excuse for him to sleep with that Xerox girl Chloe."
The mug fell to the floor and shattered. Rachel stood in numb shock as Gunther calmly got a broom and began sweeping up the glass.
"Wh-what?"
"yeah. They met up at some party last night, go a little drunk, and ended up at his apartment. My roommate's brother works with Chloe and she told him."
He fixed her another mocha chino and Rachel walked numbly over the window, dazed. Tears stung her eyes, but she fiercely told herself, "No way. Ross loves you, and he would never do that to you. He's not that kind of person."
No sooner had she decided that, that Ross tore into the coffee house, "Gunther! Gunther! Please tell me you didn't say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the copy place."
And right in that moment, Rachel's heart and her world shattered. . .like the coffee mug.
~End of Flashback~
Rachel shook her head. It was over, she couldn't think about that anymore. She'd agreed: forgive and forget.
But could she really forget something that had changed her entire life in the worst way? Could she really forget what had caused the worst night of her life?
The next morning, Rachel and Ross didn't mention the fight from last night, until Ross was about to leave for work and Emma had gone to brush her teeth before Rachel took her to kindergarten.
Ross put his arms around Rachel and kissed her gently. She smiled up at him, "Ross, I'm really sorry about last night. I shouldn't have-"
He put a finger over her lips. "It's okay, Rach, forget it." He kissed her once more, longer this time. "I love you. I'll try to get done as soon as I can tonight."
"What's the latest you'll be home?"
"Midnight. No later. I promise."
"Okay. I'll be waiting."
"Rach, you don't have to stay up and wait for me."
"If I go to sleep, wake me up."
He grinned. "Promise."
"Thanks. I love you."
"Love you, too."
Emma came down then, and Ross picked her up and swung her around. "Bye Angel."
"Bye Daddy. Love you."
"Love you more. Have fun at school." He kissed her on the forehead.
"Okay, Daddy."
Ross kissed Rachel quickly again, then left for work. Rachel sighed as he left. Then she turned to Emma. "Okay, girlie, let's get ready for school."
After Emma had been dropped off at kindergarten, Rachel went on to work, trying to concentrate and not think about Ross and Honey.
The rest of the day was fairly normal. She'd gone to lunch with Monica at her restaurant, then returned to work. After that, she picked Emma up at school, helped her with her "homework", and got a report done for her boss that afternoon.
About suppertime, she'd taken Emma over to Chandler's where he was watching her and the twins, Daniel and Meggie, who were four and a half, while Monica and Rachel went to dinner with Phoebe in The City.
They met Phoebe at a restaurant they'd all used to go to together. The three of them tried to do something together often, so they could keep in touch.
The usual chatting was going on, but it seemed like Rachel was barely chiming in. Monica and Phoebe both noticed, and they glanced at each other, speaking with their eyes. Monica asked carefully, "Rach, is everything okay?"
Rachel glanced up, taking in the concerned faces of her best friends. She slowly shook her head. "Yes. . . no. . .I don't know."
"What's wrong, sweetie?"
"Yeah, your auras all dark and troubled."
Rachel drew a shaky breath. "It's just Ross." She slowly told them about Honey, how late he was working, and about the fight last night. "I know it's crazy, but I just keep thinking about Chloe and everything that happened with that."
Monica gave her a sympathetic look. "Rach, I know it seems hard right now, but I really don't think you have anything to worry about. Ross loves you, and he learned his lesson big time."
"I guess."
After several more minutes of reassurance by Phoebe and Monica, Rachel told them she didn't want to talk about it anymore and they moved on.
The rest of the dinner was fun, but Rachel was glad when it was over, and she picked Emma up and they went home.
As she tucked her daughter into bed, Emma looked up at her. "Mommy? Why is Daddy never here to tell me goodnight anymore?"
Rachel swallowed hard, looking into Emma's big blue eyes, and she struggled to explain. "Daddy's work is having him do a lot of extra things for them, sweetie. Hopefully, thought, it will be over soon, and he'll be here all the time to kiss you goodnight."
"Okay, Mommy. Love you."
Rachel smiled. "Love you, too, angel." She kissed Emma on the forehead and pulled the covers up over her.
"Mommy? Tell Daddy I said I love him and goodnight, okay?"
"Okay, sweetie."
Rachel turned out the light and walked out of Emma's room, leaving the door cracked like Emma always wanted it.
The rest of the night crept by. Rachel started watching for Ross around eleven, since he'd promised midnight at the latest.
Midnight came, and there was no sign of him.
Rachel waited another fifteen minutes and tried his cell phone. It rang seven times before his voice mail picked up. Rachel didn't bother leaving a message, just hung up angrily.
She fell asleep about fifteen till one.
"Mommy?" A small voice said, shaking Rachel out of a light sleep. She stared into the darkness and saw Emma standing at the foot of her bed.
"Hey sweetie what's wrong?" Rachel glanced at the bright digits on her alarm clock: 3:48. The side of the bed next to her was empty.
Emma sounded close to tears. "Mommy, I had a, a bad dream. Can I sleep with you?"
"Sure, baby." Emma slid up into bed next to Rachel, snuggling under her arm.
"Mommy, where's Daddy? Why isn't he home yet?"
Rachel's voice shook slightly. "I don't know sweetie. I guess he's still working."
Emma's breathing soon became steady, showing she was asleep. Rachel's eyes filled with tears, which flooded down her face in the darkness. Ross had lied. It was WAY past midnight and he was still at the office with that Honey person.
She closed her eyes, choking back a sob, pressing her face into a pillow, trying to get her hurt and anger under control. She finally pushed Ross' pillows off the bed and slowly eased Emma to the other side of the bed, and Rachel lay down in the middle, making it impossible for anyone else to join her in the bed.
She lay on her back, tears sliding down the side her face and clinging to her hair and she finally fell asleep again, just minutes before the headlights of Ross' car lit up the window.
Rachel woke up at six thirty, feeling like she'd barely slept at all. Ross was already gone. . .he'd apparently not wanted to face her that morning. There was note stuck on the mirror.
Rach-sorry I was so late last night, we need to talk. I love you. Be home at nine tonight. –Ross.
Rachel fought tears back and went into the bathroom to take a shower.
Later, after she'd gotten Emma off to kindergarten, Rachel left for work. She was feeling lousy about Ross, obsessing with what might have happened last night, and constantly found herself close to tears.
She finally decided to take the afternoon off "sick" and went home. Exhausted, Rachel lay down on the couch and instantly fell asleep.
That night, Emma was in bed and Rachel was in the kitchen, working on a marketing report, when she heard keys turn in the door.
Ross entered, a look of dread on his face. "Hey, Rach."
She didn't answer him, just glared.
"Listen, please don't be mad. I'm sorry I was so late-"
"Why?" Her voice was cold.
"The work ran over, there was more to do then I'd figured on." He gave her a desperate look.
"That's awfully convenient, Ross."
"Rachel what else could it possibly be!"
There was silence. Then Rachel told him. "Think back to when we were first going out. What ended that, Ross?"
"Rachel, no. I would never do that. Rach, I love you, how could you not trust me?"
Choked with tears, Rachel raised her voice, yelling, "Because of past experience of what happens when I trust you, Ross! You betray that trust!" She started to sob.
Desperately, Ross grabbed her shoulders. "Rach, I swear I didn't. I swear to God I wouldn't. . ."
Rachel shook her head, pulling away. "This probably isn't even the first time, Ross! You've probably done it all these nights you were 'working late'."
"How can you not trust me more then this????"
Rachel just shook her head.
Ross was angry now. "FINE! But you know what you hated that I did to you when we were going out the first time?"
"SLEEPING WITH SOMEONE ELSE?"
"NO! Accusing you of betraying me with Mark. Being obsessively jealous of him when nothing was going on. Now you're doing the same thing, Rachel. I'm not the one repeating history. YOU ARE. And do you also remember the reason Emily and I divorced? She couldn't trust me. If you don't trust me, then this is never going to work. And you clearly don't."
Rachel stood there, just staring at him.
"I got to get out of here." Ross grabbed his coat and left slamming the door. Rachel followed.
"Ross!"
He cranked his car and pulled away, speeding up the street.
Rachel started sobbing. She suddenly felt horrible about herself. Ross was right, she was doing exactly what he'd done with Mark. Were they breaking up?
She couldn't stand the thought of being the cause of a break up. She loved Ross so much, she thought they were finally together.
She went and picked up a sleeping Emma. Emma was a deep sleeper, so Rachel wasn't worried about waking her up.
She carried her across the sleep to Monica and Chandler's. Monica answered the door and Rachel walked in without a word.
"Rach what's wrong?"
Rachel choked back another sob. "Ross-"
Monica put an arm around her best friend. "Chandler, put Emma in the guest bed." Chandler obeyed, gently taking his niece and walking to the guest room.
Monica led Rachel to the couch. "Sweetie, what happened?"
Through sobs, Rachel told Monica about how late Ross had gotten in the night before, how she had been sure he'd cheated on her again, about the fight, and about what Ross had said.
"M-Mon I've ruined this. This is the best thing that had ever happened to me, Mon, getting back together with Ross, and now I've blown it."
"Rach, no you haven't."
"He, he said it couldn't work if I don't trust him! Mon, I'm a terrible person. I did to him exactly what he did to me years ago."
While Monica consoled Rachel, Ross was driving away from it all, angry and driving faster then HE'D ever driven before.
He finally pulled into the university, which was empty, and unlocked the door and walked up the stairs and into his empty office.
Ten minutes later, Honey Kimble was driving down the road, on her way back from her friends house, where they'd had a party. She was fresh out of college, working as a professor for mere amusement, and she had her eye on Ross Geller.
She saw his car at the office and sensed an opportunity. She pulled into the parking lot and let herself into the building, heading up to Ross' office.
"Ross?"
He stared up at her, looking exhausted, angry and depressed. "Oh, hey Honey. What are you doing here?"
She casually walked into his office and leaned over his desk. "I was just driving by and saw your car. . .I was making sure nothing had happened at work."
"No, no, everything's. . .everything's fine."
"So why are you here?"
"Rachel and I had a fight, that's all."
"Aw, I'm so sorry."
"It's okay."
"Do ya want something to drink? I've got a cooler in the car."
He shook his head. "Nah, you don't have to go back to your car-"
She reached out into the hallway and drug in a huge cooler. "It's okay. I just came from a friends house, a little get together. I was bringing some drinks to restock my mini fridge but, um, there's plenty to spare."
Ross grabbed a beer gratefully and downed it in a few gulps. HE took another without even asking.
Honey grinned. This was her lucky day.
It had been almost three hours since Ross had left. Rachel and Monica had been talking, and Rachel wanted to apologize to him.
"I have to tell him I'm sorry Mon, I have to make him believe I trust him. Where do you think he went?"
Monica thought and shrugged. "A hotel, maybe? Just drive around, look for his car. He's probably near his office."
"Thanks, Mon. I'll go look. Can Emma stay here?"
"Sure." They stood, and Rachel gave her best friend a grateful smile.
"Thanks, Mon. You're the best." They hugged. "I don't know what I'd do without you."
"Aw, Rach, it's no problem. Good luck."
"Thanks."
Soon, Rachel was driving past Ross' office, trying to think of which hotel he would go to.
She froze as she pasted the university, and she pulled her car into the parking lot in disbelief. Ross' car was there, and there was a red sports car next to it.
Rachel's heart was pounding as she ran up the stairs, toward the offices. Ross' was open, and their was a light on. But it was empty-except for the empty beer bottles scattered everywhere.
Suddenly she noticed a light on down the hall.
The Lounge.
Rachel ran down the hall, and froze in the doorway, staring in horror at what was her worst nightmare.
Clothes were everywhere on the room. Ross and Honey were lying on the couch, asleep, under a blanket, nude.
Rachel put a hand over her mouth, and she started to sob. It was true. She turned, her head spinning, her body shaking with sobs, and she knocked over a lamp.
Ross and Honey woke up. Ross stared at her, realized he wasn't wearing any clothes, realized how drunk he was, and realized Rachel was there, sobbing in shock.
"Rach, no, it's not-"
But she turned and ran down the hall, sobbing uncontrollably, realizing it had happened again, he'd cheated on her
Ross pulled on his underwear, ignoring Honey's smirk, and pants as he ran after Rachel. She was just about to run downstairs, when she ran into his office, and grabbed an empty bottle of beer and Ross' car keys
Ross ran after her, yelling desperately. "Rach, no, please. Give me another chance, this is the first time, it was a drunken mistake, honest, Rach, I love you. It was a drunken mistake."
They were outside by then and Rachel turned, furious and still sobbing. "Another one? Ross this-this is the second time it's happened! THAT I KNOW OF! Oh my God, how could you do this to me!" She broke down completely.
"Rach, I'm sorry. . .I love you-"
"I'm really starting to hate how you use those words." Rachel whispered. "Because I don't think they mean anything anymore. I think it's just supposed to get you out of stuff. Well ya know what Ross? Forget it. It's too late. You don't get a second chance, okay?"
Ross put a hand on her shoulder and she jerked away. "No, Ross. It's over."
She turned and got into her car, still holding his keys. She threw the empty bottle of beer on the ground, and it shattered into pieces.
As it shattered, Rachel's heart shattered. Her life shattered. "Here. That's a little something to remind you of what caused this. I hope that time with Honey was worth it. Congratulations."
She cranked the car, pressed a foot on the accelerator and sped off, leaving Ross standing in the parking lot.
Rachel went into her house, sobbing hysterically, dragging out suitcases and throwing things in bags.
In an hour, she'd hastily packed everything that was hers and Emma's. She called Mark's cell phone. His voice was groggy.
"Hello?"
"Mark it's Rachel. Sorry to call you so late-"
"It's okay, I was up with the twins anyway."
"Oh. Um, listen I am going to take that Paris job. Did you say there was a large apartment included."
"Yes, Rach, I can let them know tomorrow."
"When's the soonest I can leave?"
"Tomorrow."
"I'm going."
"Excellent. Rach, you won't regret it. Call me tomorrow morning and we'll finalize everything."
"Okay."
Trembling, she hung up the phone, grabbed the suitcases and loaded them into her car. She drove across the Monica's and pulled the car into the backyard.
She rang the doorbell countless times before Monica opened the door, blinking against the light. She saw Rachel, her eyes red and swollen, face wet with tears. "Oh my God, what happened?"
Rachel started to cry again, and Monica led her to the couch. Sitting with an arm around her, Monica gently asked. "Rach what happened?"
Rachel slowly choked out everything. She told Monica what had happened when she went to Ross' office.
Monica's mouth hung open. "Oh my God. I can't believe he would do that. Rach, sweetie I'm so sorry."
"I'm, I'm moving to Paris."
"Wh-what?"
"M-Mark he offered me a job in Paris, and I'm going to take it. Emma and I are leaving tomorrow."
Monica felt like she'd been slapped in the face. "Rachel, no, don't. Please don't move, you can't, Rach."
"I have to."
Monica protested for awhile, but then Rachel started to cry again, and Monica let it go. She put her arms around her best friend, and Rachel sobbed into Monica's shoulder.
Later, Rachel was asleep in the guest room next to Emma, and Monica went back up to her and Chandler's room.
Chandler stared at her, confused. "What happened?"
Monica took a deep, shaky breath. "Ross cheated on Rachel."
"WHAT???!!!"
"SSShhh, the twins are in the next room."
"I know. But whhhhhhhaaaaaaaatttt?"
"Rachel went to find him, and he was in the office lounge with Honey...clothes everywhere. . .sleeping."
"Sleeping?"
"They were probably tired from all the sex."
"Oh God."
Monica bit her lip. "Rachel's moving to Paris." She quickly explained to Chandler about Mark and the job.
Tears streamed down Monica's cheeks and she started to cry. "Chandler she can't leave. She'd my best friend."
"I know." Chandler wrapped his arms around his wife, and she cried in his chest.
Downstairs, Rachel was bent over a notebook, writing a letter to Ross.
Ross,
I guess you know now I'm in Paris. Mark offered me a job there, and I wasn't going to take it. I changed my mind. I need to leave. I was coming to find you to tell you I'm sorry for not trusting you. I thought I was way out of line, and I felt terrible. I guess I was right.
I love you, Ross, but I can't trust you anymore. You're the only man I ever really love, and probably the only one I ever will. I love you so much I would never do anything to lose you, or to hurt you. I guess you don't.
It hurts to leave. I'm not sorry for leaving, but I'm sorry for doing this to Emma. I'll write you a letter about custody arrangements.
That's all I can say. What else is there? I want to hate you, Ross, but I can't. I love you. And that just makes it worse.
Rach
She put the pen down, reread the letter and folded it up. She'd give it to Monica and Chandler the next day to give to him.
Rachel stared down at Emma. She put her arms around the little girl, kissing her hair. Tears dripped off Rachel's face into Emma's dark hair. She whispered. "Baby girl, I love you so much. I'm sorry about doing this to you. You don't deserve it." She kissed her again, then lay her back down on the pillow. Rachel lay next to her, and started to sob silently, and she turned and cried herself to sleep.