Heart In Confusion, Resurfacing Memories

"You're coping quite well, Miss.Mazaki, I'm quite happy for you, it is evident from the group hug you gave your friends, you are no longer afraid to be touch by anyone but Ryou" Miss, Misuno spoke. Anzu nodded happily "Yeah, I've been a little better each day, because I have them, my family, helping me" she added to the doctors words.

"Even so, you still have been repressing what the man has looked like, haven't you?" she ask. Anzu remain silent for a couple of moments "I've been trying to see his face, but, I can't see him, for some reason…." she said. The doctor nodded at this "It's all right, maybe it's better this way, sometimes not remembering may be the best thing"

"But….I felt like my footsteps have been cut off from somewhere" she explain. Misuno just mused at this "Do not think much into it, it takes a long time to recover, I'm thankful you have people who love you, especially that Ryou boy."

"Misuno, can I ask you something?"

"yes?"

"I had a dream, about someone I know….Seto Kaiba…." she began. The therapists eyes widen "You know Kaiba of Kaiba corp?" she ask a bit surprised. "More or less, we were at a lake, and he was telling me how he lost his innocence from his father, and he died yet was reborn. He then went on to say that, how you move forward determines the person you are. Because as humans we must move along"

"It's certainly true of what he say, about moving forward I mean , perhaps, your subconscious came in his form, because you can relate to him" she suggested. "Also….I've been seeing a friend telling him about this, he also has problems like I do, so in a way we help each other cope."

"That's good to hear, you can help someone while he helps you along" she said. "Yeah, he saved me from drowning and then from slitting my throat, I'm in his debt forever" she said but a saddened face.

"He'll leave soon….."

"It's all right to feel sad, a friend leaving is hard, so, you must make the time left with him memorable" Misuno spoke. She looked at her watch "I believe our session has ended, Anzu, if you want, you do not have to come tomorrow, you have recuperating splendidly….besides I hear that a carnival is suppose to come tonight for a few days" she added. Anzu smiled at her tiredly "ok thanks" she said. She stood from the chair and began walking to the door.

"Anzu…."

"Yes doctor?"

"Do not search the truth, unless you are ready to take the blows, their may be a reason why you are suppressing his face" she spoke. Anzu only nodded before opening the door, exiting from the therapists office.

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Malik held his sides in pain as he slammed to the floor gasping hard. He clench his eyes and teeth, suffering from the pills and the side effects. He cried out in pain as he felt his head and insides being tear apart.

"ISIS WHERE ARE YOU!?? NEE-SAN!?!!?" He cried out. His sister quickly came running in "What's wrong Malik?" she ask concerned. "S-Something's wrong with me.." he began but was cut off with another cry of pain now holding his head. His eye's widened in fear "The medicine…it's not working anymore?" he thought himself with horror. He had to warn Isis before Marik took control.

"Isis…he's coming out, get away while you still can…" he pleaded. Isis eyes widen in horror. "that can't be….the medication" she began. "Nee-san, it isn't working anymore, go…before he comes out…I can't fight him off….much longer" he pleaded. Isis shook her head "No Malik, you can't just give in like this…you have to fight back!! You need to win this battle" she urged.

"Nee-san please before it's…." he was cut off when she embraced her. "Malik, you have to be strong, I'm here with you, we'll fight him…together" she pleaded holding him tightly against her. "Nee-san…" he trailed off and closed his eyes. The two siblings stayed, silently. Malik brows furrowed, his eyes and teeth clench and he trembled. He held his fists tightly. Isis prayed while holding him close to her.

"Please Ra, help him fight his demon, please, do not let me lose what left of my family…please Ra, please" She prayed hard. Malik opened his eyes and looked to her tiredly "Isis…I did it…." he began and saw her smile down at him, tear brimming across her eyes. "Oh Malik, I knew you could" she spoke hugging him tighter. "I'm sorry….sister, for scaring you"

"It does not matter, you're here still" she replied. Malik just laughed lightly at this. "Lets celebrate" he heard his sister say. Mlaik looked up "Celebrate?" he ask confused.

"yes, for your victory" she answered. "I hear that a carnival is in tonight for a couple of days, and you've never been to one" she added. Malik smiled at her "that be nice, thanks sis" he replied. "We can invite Anzu also if you want" she suddenly said.

"uh, why did you say that?"

"I know you like the girl, you've been spending all your time with her the last week" she commented, Malik's face grew hot "S-So what? We're helping each other out. We're friends, that's it" he said even though he knew that he couldn't admit it.

"Besides, she'll go with Ryou and the others" he said. Isis gave him a playful look "Little brother, are you jealous of Ryou and Bakura?" she ask. "Of course not! I'm grateful Anzu has them to love" he snap unintentionally. Isis shook her head, her brother never experience this before and of course he was trying to act mature to hide his feeling about the girl. Malik sighed and stood up.

"I'm going out for some fresh air, Isis" he said. "Don't be out to late" Isis replied. Malik just nodded before walking out of the door.

Malik look around him, all was alive, vibrant yet he never felt so alone. "It's been happening more recently now" he thought to himself. He put a hand to his chest, he could still feel the strain on it, the medications was taking it's toll on him. He felt tired all the time, sometimes he could barely get out of bed at all, he felt so apathetic, so….

"Dead" he said aloud. He knew that little and little Marik was gaining control, he rolled up a sleeve revealing a long cut on it "Bastard" he thought. Of course he didn't tell his sister but, he knew that Marik was trying a new advance, instead of fighting for control for his own body, he was trying to merge with him to use his persona. "He's winning also…" he mentioned and let a tired sigh finding himself on the bridge where he was first reunited with Anzu Mazaki.

He rested against the railing looking at the now calm river. He became lost in his thought, thoughts he secretly kept in the darkest of his heart. "It's not like I have thought about it before…" he spoke to himself. He closed his eyes.

Do it, Malik, you know you want too…..

Malik remained silent at this, his eyes were slightly glazed, unknown to him, Marik was controlling him, by acting as his subconscious.

Stop causing Isis so much pain, and set her free from the burden that you are, no one will care what happens to you.

"Malik, hey"

Malik turned and saw Anzu running towards to him. He said nothing, he was thinking of what the voice said to him, was it true? "Probably is…" he thought sadly. "Malik? What happen?" Anzu ask concerned seeing the boy acting strange. Malik turned to her with tired eyes "I don't know…if I can be strong no more…" he spoke, his voice distant as he turned back and look down. A estranged smile came unto his features looking down from the railing.

"Anzu, what were your last thought when you tried to drown yourself?" he ask. Anzu slightly turned away "I thought, everything would end….but it didn't….because you saved me" she answered to him. "I see, it's strange, how easily one can end their life, and know peace" he spoke.

Anzu looked at him with growing concerned "He looks so sad…." she thought to herself. Malik softly laughed to himself "I often wonder, if anyone would cry for me? Did people ever truly loved me? My sister? Was I a burden to her all along?" he continued and begin to lean out slightly tilting into the river.

"What would happen if I just let myself fall into the water below, and let the current take me, would you care?" he blurted out. Anzu eyes widened as she saw him jump over the railing holding onto it, in the same manner as she herself did, now leaning dangerously away from the railing.

"If I close my eyes and let go, what would you do?" he ask his voice now heavy and grave. "Malik, stop, this isn't funny" Anzu pleaded and he gave her a sad smile.

"Your sweet Anzu, but cruel….you didn't answer my question"

Malik turned back to face the river below him and took a deep breathe letting the wind blow against him. Then he felt warm arms go around him, pulling him against the railing. "If you were to let go? I wouldn't give you a chance" Anzu spoke. Malik opened his eyes feeling her warmth against his back, while she held him form going to a possible death.

"Isis would be sad…she would cry, Rishid too, but….I would be sad, if you tried to make the same mistake as I did" she confessed to him.

"Why?" he couldn't help but ask. "I care about you….that's why" she answered to him. Malik was suddenly flung back into reality as he realized what he doing. "Oh my god…Marik…" he thought to himself angered and shock. He climb back over the railing, Anzu still holding on to him "Anzu…I didn't mean to make you sad….it's just….I get so tired, I often wonder, what's the point of going on" he spoke. Anzu smiled in sympathy.

"I often wonder that myself…but we can't stop at one place…..humans have to move forward" she quoted. "We've been talking to each other, supporting each other for almost a week you know that…" she ask. Malik nodded in reply "Then why? Why throw all away? If you know it would only make everyone else sad…" she spoke softly.

Malik turn to stare at her. Her blue eyes were full of sadness, loneliness, pain. She suddenly hugged him "I already lost a child….I don't want to lose a friend also" she said. Malik's eyes widened "You were pregnant?" he ask in disbelief. Anzu allowed the tears to stream down "I was, I was pregnant with the child of the man who raped me, but….but….I lost him….." she cried to him. Maliks look at her in shock and sadness.

"Even if it was the result of him raping me, I would have still wanted to keep my child, I would have love my son, with all my heart" she spoke between sobs. "Now I can't…..I had a miscarriage….and now he's dead….I killed him…..that's why, I wanted to end it all here…that day….." she admitted to him.

"Anzu…oh my god Anzu…I'm…I'm…." Malik couldn't find the words, now that he knew why she was doing these things to herself "She's a heart broken mother….." he thought to himself. He felt his own heart grow heavy for her. Anzu please look at me" he suddenly said. Anzu slowly raised her head her eyes meeting his own.

"I….I…." he began. She continue to look to him, her eyes boring into his. One of his hand raise up, putting a stray lock back into place "I….." he stopped and begin to lean towards her. "Malik?" Anzu thought as their lips brushed against each other. Reluctantly he pulled away from her "Forgive me, I didn't mean too….I know how you feel about Ryou and Bakura…." he said.

"I want someone to just cradle me, sometimes, a persons touch, one that isn't my sister, sometimes…" he confessed. Anzu grabbed his hand "It's only human to crave such things Malik" Anzu replied.

it's only human to crave such things…..

Her words suddenly made him think about the dream he had of her that time. He mentally shook his head "No…I can't….Marik…." he thought. He didn't want to hurt her, it was the last thing he wanted. She gave him a assuring smile looking at him. She then felt a sharp pain in her head and fell to the ground clenching her teeth.

"ANZU!! DAIJOKA!?! ANZU!!" Malik screamed out kneeling besides the girl. She begin to hug herself clenching her teeth remembering the memory that made her sick in the pit of her stomach.

When he release his seed within her.

She began to breathe hard remembering it but his face was still blurred….

"No…please…no….."

She held her stomach feeling everything that day, the tears streaming down "B-Bakura……Ryou…." she whimpered for aide. Malik looked at her in horror "Anzu what's wrong!? Tell me" he pleaded. She cried out holding her head in pain, her breath accelerated and her eyes glazed.

"Dir…..ty……he….made…." she stopped their in a dazed, caught in the grip of her vision. Malik began to panic, seeing the state she was in "What do I do? " he thought frantically. "Please Anzu you need to snap out of it!!" he urged. But only received whimpering as a cry. Malik was beyond panicked he didn't know what to do so he decided to follow his impulses which told him to snap her to reality in anyways possible.

"ANZU SNAP OUT OF IT!!" He shouted. He grabbed the girl by the shoulders and kissed her deeply without thinking. Anzu felt the warmth on her lips, but she was still in her daze.

"……Bakura?" she thought, her mind replying the scene where he had kissed her like this. Calm tears escaped thinking Bakura had come back, bringing her back to reality. The two remain in tact for what seemed like hours, until Malik released his hold. He looked to Anzu, her eyes were still closed "Bakura…" she whispered opening them and let out a slight gasp. "Malik?" she whispered. Both looked at each other, the silence was tense between the two. Malik averted his gaze from her "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that…." he spoke. Before Anzu could answer he quickly stood up.

"Malik…." Anzu began. Malik turned to her a worried smile on his face "You had me scared for a moment, please don't do that again" he ask. Anzu nodded slowly "I'm sorry…" she said in a soft voice. Malik outstretch his hand pulling her up, she slightly tripped and lightly fell against him. "I think, I should be going home…." Anzu said.

"Yeah…you should…." Malik replied, letting her hand go. "Malik" she began. Malik look to her and she smiled at him "Thank you ,for bringing me back" she said. Malik nodded at this before the girl walked away from his arms. He watched her, until she disappeared in the distance, his finger tracing his lips, he could still feel the warmth of her.

"But…..it didn't mean anything to her….I'm not the one she wants…….." he thought sadly. He began to walk away from the bridge trying to forget what had conspire there that day. "She's a friend and nothing more…" he spoke to himself yet the words pained him. As he walked a melancholic aura surrounded him, at the truth of it all, he had a disorder, and not many people could cope with it.

"Like she want to date a schizo…" he thought sarcastically. He stopped. All his life he wanted it, something which lingered within, he was happy to have his sister, but, it wasn't enough for him, he wanted to hold someone, touch them, feeling their warmth. He lightly laughed at this, when he had this feeling when he came here and saw a couple kiss. IT was strange five years of preparing and he did not know of intimacy, perhaps because he wouldn't need it.

Boy, was he wrong

He clench his fists at what Anzu told him "That bastard…I'm not going to allow him to get away with this" He thought to himself heading back to the hotel, he knew that Isis brought the tauk with her.

He would find out who did this to her, and he would par dearly for it.

As Anzu walked home, she was lost in her thoughts "Malik…he…kissed me…." she thought to herself. She shook her head "He had too, he didn't know anyway else to snap me out of it" she spoke to herself. She opened the door to her house to find it alone she saw a note on the table.

Anzu,

"I'm sorry we are not here right now but something happened to your Father don't worry, he just had a bit of food poisoning but I'm staying over night at the hospital to make sure he will be fine. The food is already done, and please take care of yourself

With much love

Okasaan

Anzu let out a small sigh, reading it, she was glad that her father wasn't in serious condition but she would be alone, for the rest of the night. She shivered at this, even after all this time, she couldn't trust herself to be alone anymore, after all she was alone….when she first try to kill herself. She looked to the phone "I'll call Yuugi and the others to keep me company for a few hours" she thought.

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"Did you guys ordered two meat lovers one vegetarian, two combo's and mushrooms?"

"Yep!"

"That $32.50"

"Keep the change" Jou grumbled shoving the money into the pizza guy's hand while Honda took the Pizza off his hands. "Who wants some grub!?" Honda exclaimed happily walking to the living room where Yuugi, Mai and Ryou where with Anzu currently playing Snk vs. Street Fighter.

"Damn!! That's the fifth time you beat me Yuugi" Ryou exclaim seeing his Vega take the last hit.

"Heh, No one can beat Terry Bogard" Yuugi stated proudly. Mai just sighed at this "Boys…" she muttered while Anzu just laughed at this. "You know guys you didn't have to bring all of this stuff…" she began.

"Nah, s'ok, we want to spoil you" Jou said between bites of his pizza. Anzu sighed at this

"Now, for our choice of movies we got, Jackass, Rush hour 2, and The Exorcist, for the romance lovers…." he made a wink towards Ryou and Anzu with this while Bakura (in spirit form) made a low threatening growl.

"Lets just watch the movie moron" Bakura snapped . Jou made a threatening gaze at him "All right then, exorcist it is" he said putting in the dvd in.

"Uh Jou?"

"Yeah?"

"You do know that the exorcist isn't a romance, it's a really frightening movie which is based on actual events" Yuugi said a little scared. "Don't be a wimp Yuugi, how bad can it be?"

*2 and a half hours later….*

"Jou, you're cutting the circulation to my arm….." Honda growled while Yuugi and Mai were holding onto each other trembling while Ryou was holding on to Anzu unbeknownst to him and the others, fallen asleep a while ago.. "All that say stop watching the movie say I"

"I!!"

"Nay" Bakura protested, he was actually enjoying this movie, he found it quite entertaining actually, especially when the possessed girl began throwing up on the priest. "Hey" Jou spoke softly and pointed to the sleeping girl.

"She must have had a long day, we should be going then" Mai suggested while the others nodded. "I'll take her up her room" Ryou offered trying to pick her up but couldn't.

/Bakura, a little help here?/

\ Weakling….\

/Would you rather have Yami out best you in strength like he is about to offer right now? /

Bakura growled at this and took place, his ego would not allow him to be over best by the damn pharaoh. Seeing this Jou became a bit anxious as he saw the yami, carry her in her arms. "Someone show me where her room is" Bakura snapped at the mortals. Yuugi just nodded and began leading her up the stairs.

"It's over here" Yuugi spoke opening the door to her room. Bakura stepped in, now walking her to the bed and laying her upon it. "Good night Anzu" Yuugi whispered to the slumbering girl. Bakura looked at him with a solemn look.

"You care much about her, don't you?" he said. Yuugi nodded "To be truthful, I don't want to leave her alone but, I have to go back to grandpa's he isn't feeling well." He spoke he look to Bakura "Can you stay with her please?" he ask. A look of surprise quickly played upon the Yami's features but was change to annoyance "Is this boy mocking me" he thought viciously. Yuugi read his mind "I am not mocking you Bakura, or Ryou neither. It's just that, Anzu, I can't do anything more for her, but you can" he explain. Bakura just snorted at this crossing his arms avoiding Yuugi's gaze. Yuugi only chuckled at this and began leaving the room "Thank you Bakura" he said, before leaving him alone with the girl.

//Aibou, is that a wise decision?//

\\ Yami, Bakura won't hurt Anzu, besides Anzu trust him fully, so he can't be a bad guy like he use to be \\

// But Yuugi….//

\\ Yami, it's all right, she safe, she with the two people who love her and she loves them \\

// ………………..//

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*Clack*

*Clack*

*Clack*

Isis anxiously tapped the wooden table with her fingers, she looked to the clock on the wall, it was close to ten thirty, "Where could he have gone?" she thought to herself worriedly. She heard the door opened and her chest seemed lighter, she quickly stood up and ran to the door.

"Malik, you had me so worried--what happen to your face?"

Malik covered his left cheek where a recently fresh gash was made "I got into some trouble on the way home" he lied. Isis eye's widen in fear" Are you all right? Did you get hurt anywhere else?" she ask and begin pulling up his shirt.

"ISIS!?!?" he exclaimed angrily. Isis stopped, a look of hurt and confusion clouded her gentle blue eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you like that" he apologized. "It's all right, lets get that cut clean" she replied, leading him to the bathroom. Malik wince as the alcohol drench cotton ball made contact on his wound, he made a small hissing sound while it clean the bacteria from it.

Isis then placed a band aide on it "Malik, what happen?" she ask. Malik averted his gaze, he couldn't tell her the truth, the truth that Marik had took control of his body for only a moment, more than enough to make a mark on Malik which would remind him of who was in control.

"I was cornered by a couple of thugs, I handled it. But I got a battle scar" he answered motioning to the now bandaged gash on his face. Isis nodded at this "I'm glad nothing worse had happen, but if there's anything you need let me know" she spoke.

"There is something, Isis" Malik said. Isis look to him, seeing his lavender eyes set in a serious tone "You have your tauk with you, right?" he ask. Isis nodded "Yes, why do you ask that?"

Malik closed his eyes and took a deep breathe.

"Isis, I want you to use the tauk to go back four months ago, after battle city ended" he demanded. Isis look at him confused "But Malik we left four months ago" she began,

"It isn't for me."

"Who?"

"I want you to go back, into Anzu's past"

TbC

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DUN DUN DUNNNNNN!!! Will they discover who is therapist? Well Malik handle the truth? More especially will Anzu be able to handle it after she finds out? To find out you must R/R, But before ending this

WARNING!! I received an e-mail saying that FF.Net is planning to delete all lemon/lime chapters and if a story was completed including lemon/lime it will be deleted, I don't know if this is a joke o r not but beware, the person also mention saying something about a petition coming soon. OK, I understand the NC-17 thing but deleting all Lemon/Lime?? You have to be kidding me!! NO, I'm not saying that b/c I'm a hentai, but for some stories it's very critical to have certain parts be lime/Lemon (Like this story for example, plot development!) so if this is true and a petition comes about keeping Lemon/Lime SIGN IT!!

Y.V.