Usual Disclaimers apply. Thanks for all the rave reviews…. Read on and see if your predictions are correct…. Okay, they are, but will Ryan accept?
Ryan had thought telling Dr. Acobas about his dreams would give him at least one nightmare-free night. Instead, they came at him with a vengeance one right after the other, before he could pull himself out of his deep and troubled slumber.
Sitting up in his bed, Ryan tried to shake the image of Dawn coming at him with a raised fist, cigarette dangling from her lips, maggots crawling out of her head, and sunken holes where her eyes once were. He got out of bed and paced the floor, hoping the feeling that Seth, Kirsten, and Sandy would forget him when the new baby was born, would leave him.
When the dreams kept replaying in his head, Ryan tiptoed down the stairs and down to the family room, where he turned on the television and let himself get lost in some inane late night movie. The next thing he knew Kirsten was shaking him awake and telling him to get ready for school.
The following week, when Seth and Ryan were sitting on the couch playing a videogame Sandy and Kirsten walked in together and asked Seth to leave them alone with Ryan. Ryan held his stomach, trying to ease the queasy fluttering. Sandy had taken him off restriction just days after he had tried to run away, when Dr. Acobas had reassured the Cohens that he was cooperating in his therapy sessions. He knew that he had been doing well in school and had had no further incidents with any of the teachers. So Ryan wondered why the Cohens looked so grave.
Sandy sat down first, hitching up his slacks before sitting. Kirsten saw down next to him.
"We have something important to ask you," Sandy started.
"Sandy and I have been talking it over and we suddenly got concerned about what would happen when you turned eighteen and went off to college."
Ryan tilted his head. He still wasn't used to the idea of himself as college material and he really didn't understand where the conversation was going.
"We think of you as part of our family," Kirsten continued. "Yet when you come of age there will be nothing to tie you down here to make sure you return every so often to say hello and let us know how you're doing."
"I'll always be grateful for what you've done for me."
"We know," said Sandy. "It's just that we want you to be part of our family."
"What we're trying to say," Kirsten interrupted, "is would you consider letting us adopt you?"
Ryan's mouth fell open. His stomach churned. For a brief moment, he wondered if it was a joke, but the earnest look on both Sandy and Kirsten's faces made him realize that they were dead serious.
"Before you answer," Sandy interjected hastily, "you might want to consider the legal issues. Since your mother has passed, Kirsten can easily adopt you. But for me to adopt you, we'll need to get your father to sign away his parental rights. I don't know if you want to do that."
"He has legal rights, even though he's in jail?" Ryan asked.
"I'm afraid so," said Sandy.
"Will he sign them away just like that?"
"I don't know."
Ryan chewed his lip.
"You don't have to answer right away," said Kirsten. "Think about it as long as you want."
Sandy and Kirsten started to stand when Ryan finally found the words that had been stuck in his throat.
"Thank you," he said.
Seth came out from the kitchen and asked, "Is that a yes?"
But to Seth's dismay, Ryan hesitated. "I need to think about it some more."
Later that same day, Ryan sat in Dr. Acobas's office. "The Cohens asked to adopt me." It was the first time he had started a session.
The therapist raised his brows in surprise. "What did you say?" asked Dr. Acobas.
"I didn't." Ryan tapped the arm of the couch. "I mean," He commented, "I told them thank you and that I would think about it."
"What are your thoughts?" asked the therapist.
"For one, are they serious? Why would they want to adopt a seventeen-year-old basket case?"
"Because they love you," answered Dr. Acobas simply. "Do you believe that?"
Ryan slowly nodded his head. "I do. I – I love them too."
"So what was the next problem?"
"I don't want to have to face my real father. I don't want to see him."
"Why would you have to?"
"To ask him to relinquish his parental rights. Otherwise, Sandy can't adopt me."
"Why don't you want to face him?"
"Because he was a lousy father. He never stopped Dawn from beating on me. He joined her when he got drunk and then he had to do a stupid ass thing like armed robbery so that he could leave our so-called family for good. Maybe things weren't so great when he was around, but they got a whole lot worse when he left."
"So you're not scared to see him?"
"I'm a little afraid."
"Have you explained this to the Cohens."
Ryan shook his head.
"Why not? Don't you trust them?"
"I do. I'm just not used to his. I'm not used to sharing and talking and being part of a real family. I mean, Seth can really talk to his parents, and they don't jump all over him with fists when says or does something stupid."
"Do you believe you deserve the same treatment?"
"Yes."
"Do the Cohens give it to you?"
"Yes."
Dr. Acobas scribbled something on his yellow legal pad. "Ryan can you think of any reasons for the Cohens not to adopt you?"
"I'm trouble," he answered.
Dr. Acobas frowned. "Do you really believe that? And secondly, don't you think the Cohens considered that?"
Ryan bit the extra skin off his nail and didn't answer.
"Come on," coaxed Dr. Acobas, "answer me."
"I guess they considered it, but yes, I do believe I'm trouble."
When the session ended, Ryan left the office alone. He had convinced Sandy and Kirsten that it was not necessary to take him by the hand to his therapist. Like Marissa, he was capable of going back and forth on his own. He knew they would check with Dr. Acobas's office to make sure he had arrived for his session, but it reassured him that there were adults out there looking out for his well being.
He climbed on his bike and pedaled to the pier, where he had told Marissa he would meet with her. He had refused to loan of the new car since his nights were still choppy and most mornings he was waking up on the couch instead of his own bed. The only difference was that he was quieter about his dreams and disturbed the family less.
Ryan pedaled, half standing on his ancient bike, one of the only relics of his old life. The wind whipped through his hair, as the conversation with Dr. Acobas replayed in his head. Why should he not let Sandy and Kirsten adopt him? He had no good reason to offer them. He had lots of good reason why he should let them, but couldn't understand what they gained from the deal.
He locked his bike near the crab shack and went inside to meet Marissa. He wondered if Sandy and Kirsten would let him take his job back if they adopted him. He had liked working and earning his own money. He still felt funny taking their generous allowance.
"Ryan," Marissa waved, trying to get his attention.
He smiled and walked over to her. He gave her a quick peck on the lips and lid into the booth she had reserved for them.
"Summer and Seth may join us a little later."
"That's okay."
"Are you okay?" she asked.
"Yes. Just thinking."
"You've been preoccupied the last few days."
"Because the Cohens asked to adopt me."
Marissa let out a gasp. "Ryan that's great."
He immediately regretted his words. He didn't want to explain why he was hesitating. She wouldn't understand. But before he could say anything else, Caleb Nichol came over to their table.
He was a tall man, nearly six-feet-tall, and despite his age, Caleb was lean and muscular. Ryan doubted that his youth would give him enough of an edge to take Seth's grandfather in a fight. He bent his balding head towards the teenagers and smiled.
"No homework?" he asked them.
"We have all night to finish it." Marissa told him.
"How's your mother?" Caleb asked.
"Fine." Marissa's tone took a steely edge. While she wasn't on the best terms with her mother, she had been upset at how Caleb had unceremoniously dumped her.
"And Ryan, how are you adjusting to life in Newport."
Ryan hadn't even realized Caleb even knew who he was. He paid him no attention when he came over to the Cohen's house. "Its great, sir." Ryan answered, hating the nervous squeak in his voice.
"Kirsten tells me you have interest in architecture. That you actually can understand what she's talking about when she talks about one of her developments."
"Yes sir, that's true."
"Then maybe you might consider a job at the family company this summer. Seth has shown no interest in real estate development. I always wanted the next generation to join." Caleb slapped the vinyl booth and said, "Think about it."
"I – I will. Thank you."
Ryan looked on as Caleb walked away. He turned back to Marissa and said, "Did you hear what I just heard?"
"It sounds like Caleb Nichol wants you to call him Grandpa."
"I can't even picture calling Sandy and Kirsten mom and dad."
"Who said you have to?"
He shrugged. "It's just very sudden," he explained to Marissa.
"You just have to do what's best for you."
"And what is that?"
"You'll have to decide." Marissa kicked off her shoe and poked her big toe up his pants leg. "Whatever you decide, I'll be there for you."
"Kirsten is pregnant," Ryan told his girlfriend.
"Really? Oh my goodness. Another Seth Cohen. I can't picture it."
Ryan laughed as he tried to imagine a miniature bald and toothless Seth, spouting everything he knew about graphic novels (don't call them comic books). Suddenly, he grew quiet.
"Are you okay with this?"
"What? Of course I am! Why shouldn't I be?"
"Oh…" Marissa's voice trailed off as she traced imaginary circles on the table. "When my mother was expecting Caitlin I was so jealous. I thought that my parents wouldn't have time for me. I thought no one would pay attention to me."
"I'm not six, Marissa," he retorted sharply.
"I know. I-"
"Maybe Seth feels that way. It's his mother."
"Kirsten wants to be your mother."
Ryan threw down his napkin and said, "I shouldn't have told you anything." He slid out of the booth and stalked off.