The Legend of Link: Ocarina of Time—Part II
Chapter XI: The Hero of Time
Link (just waking up): Huh? Where am I?
He looks around and sees lots of surreal blue waterfalls.
Link: Am I in heaven?
He then sees a familiar blue ball-like figure.
Link: AH!! Navi's here! This must be the other place!
Navi: Hasn't changed much, has he Rauru?
Rauru: No, I don't believe so.
Link: Huh? Who said that?
He looks around.
Link: AHHH!!!!!!!!!!! BIG FAT GUY!!!!!!!!!
Rauru: I am Rauru. And for being the Hero, you do not seem to have any respect for your elders.
Link: Well, you are old, but you are fat too.
Rauru: Be silent and listen! You have come to the Sacred Realm, the resting place of the Golden Power, the Triforce. I built this place to protect it from those who were not worthy to obtain and use its awesome power. The Master Sword, the blade of evil's bane that you pulled from the Pedestal of Time was the key to this world. But only the one who has obtained the three Spiritual Stones and the Ocarina of Time is able to claim the sword. That one person is you, Link. You have come to this place to protect the Triforce from one who is evil at heart. But it has turned ill. For even though you opened the door of Time in good will, Ganondorf, King of Thieves used you as a guide to the Golden Power and claimed it for his own. But since you were too young to use that which you pulled out of the pedestal, you were trapped here and put to rest for seven years. Now Link, do not be alarmed. Look at yourself!
Link: snore
Navi: Nope, hasn't changed a bit. Bacon!
Link: Bacon! Where?
Navi: Look at you!
Link: Huh?
He looked at himself and was extremely surprised!
Link: I have pants!!!!!!!
Navi: Arghhhh!!!!!!
Link: Oh, and I guess I'm…I'M FAT!!!!!!! WHAT HAPPENED!!!!!???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Navi: You went to sleep for seven years.
Link: WOW!!! New record! The most I've ever slept in before was till twelve!
He touched his ears.
Link: HEY!!!!!!! WHY DO I HAVE EARRINGS!!!!!!!!!?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Navi: Oh, um, well…I got board, you see and…
Link: YOU GAVE ME EARRINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Navi: Yeah.
Link: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I look like a girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Navi: I thought they were kinda cute.
Link: I DON"T WANT TO BE CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AARRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rauru: You may deal with you petty fashion problems later. We have more important matters to address at the moment.
Link: More important that me having holes in my earlobes!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Navi: Oh stop it. They'll heal after awhile.
Rauru: Now listen carefully. After you came here, Ganondorf took the Triforce and claimed himself king of Hyrule. He became known as Ganon, King of Evil. Hyrule is now in a time of evil and suffering. Monsters roam the land and tyrants claim lordship over towns and realms. The people wait for a hero to save them from the evil that has spread over all the vastness of Hyrule. (Link starts to fall to sleep, but Navi keeps him awake by constantly hitting him) You are that hero, Link. You are the Hero of Time, chosen by the Master Sword. With the title also comes the great responsibility of protecting the people of Hyrule; not only the Hylians, but also the Gorons, Zoras, and all the other races of this land. Even Ganon's homeland, the deserts of the Gerudo, awaits the coming of the Hero. But you cannot succeed in this task alone. You must awaken the six Sages in order to be given the aid needed to capture Ganon forever in this realm. I am one of those Sages, Rauru, the Sage of Light. Link, take this medallion. In it contains what is left of my strength. May it help you on you quest.
A golden medallion appears out of nowhere and drops into Link's hands.
Rauru: Go now, with the blessing of all of Hyrule. May you way ever be clear and true.
Link: Whoa! That was weird!
They were now back at the chamber where Link first got the Master Sword.
Link: I doesn't seem like seven years has really passed at all!
Navi: Yeah, well you were sleeping! I had to stay awake all that time!
Mysterious High-Pitched Boyish Voice: Boo!
Link: AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mysterious High-Pitched Boyish Voice: Hello Link.
Link: Hi scary person.
Mysterious High-Pitched Boyish Voice: You look just like I imagined you would.
Link: Huh?
Mysterious High-Pitched Boyish Voice: You are the Hero of Time, aren't you?
Link (proudly): Yep!
Mysterious High-Pitched Boyish Voice: My name's Sheik.
Link: I'm Link.
Sheik: I know.
Link: Oh. How do you know that?
Sheik (panicky): Um…game programming?
Link (energetically): Ok!
Sheik (in an undertone): Whew!
Link: Did you say something?
Sheik: No, no!
Link: All right. Well, I'd better get to saving the world!
Sheik: Wait! I have some important stuff to tell you!
Link: Oh no! Not more important stuff!
Sheik: The first Sage you'll need to save is trapped inside the Forest Temple. But to get inside you'll need an item that is hidden in the Kakariko Graveyard. I suggest you go there first.
Link: Ok thanks!
Sheik: Get going!
Link: All right!
And Link walked out of the temple.
Link: Whoa!
He was looking out onto a desolate, destroyed land, all black and gray. The sky seemed scorched as if with fire. And the ominous Death Mountain loomed over all with a ring of red fire-like smoke around its peak. As Link looked around, the thing that most stood out for him was the great, black tower, sitting in the place of where used to be the beautiful, white Hyrule Castle. It was tall and menacing, and it looked like it was covered in black teeth. At the top was a thick cloud of black smoke.
Link: That must be his castle then.
Navi: Yep.
Link: It looks so…evil.
Navi: Yep.
Link: All right. We'd better go to the village then.
Navi: Yep.
Link: Stop that.
He then walked down towards the old market. But the only things in the burnt and demolished old town were a few half-dead looking figures.
Link: Hey, it must be dead people theme day.
Ned: Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What happened to their dresses!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ned: Oh yeah!
They all put on their pink, flowery dresses.
Ned: Iowoveuoooooo!!!!!!!!!!!
Link: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He runs out of the market in fear.
Navi: I thought you were supposed to get more mature and brave when you grow up?
Link: I've been sleeping for seven years. Do you really think I'd become more mature? I'm a ten year old stuck in a seventeen-year-old body.
Navi: Great. I had my hopes up.
They eventually get to the Graveyard and Link is totally clueless of what to do next.
Link: Well…what now?
Navi: How should I know, and don't say because I'm an all-knowing fairy.
Link closed his open mouth.
Navi: Why don't you look around for clues or something?
Link (energetically): Ok!
He reads one of the graves.
Grave (and for old time's sake, it's not out loud):
Dead Guy,
Died sometime.
Link: Weird.
Another Grave (see above):
Me
I wrote a poem, remember?
Link: Ohhhhhhh. He's dead? That's too bad, he was so talented!
Navi: You're so messed up.
Yet Another Grave (see above the above):
Henry Gravy Pink Sr.
He crashed into a wall. Body was never found.
P.S. I'm not dead!
Link: Whoa! He's not dead!
Navi: You're so gullible. I bet it's just a prank.
Link: No! It's written right there!
Navi: Arghhhhhhhh!!!!!!
Grave #4 (see above the above the above):
My Grave
Come on down! The party's just starting!
P.S. If you need some item to get in the Forest Temple, I can help!
Link (energetically): Ok!
He pulls the grave back and goes down a hole in the ground.
Link: It's pretty dark down here.
Navi (sarcastically): No, really?
Ghost: BOO!
Link: Hi.
Ghost: Didn't I scare you?
Link: Na, I'm to use to it now.
Ghost (whiney): B-but…I've never scared a-ny-one! WAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Link: Well, why would you want to?
Ghost (still whiney): I don't know!!!! WAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Link: All right, all right! I'm scared!
Ghost (wiping his eyes): R-really?
Link: Sure! Look. Ahem AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ghost: Oh goody! My name's Dampe.
Link: Hi Dumpy, I'm Link.
Dampe: Well, Link, do you want to race?
Link: No, not rea-
Dampe: Ok! RedysetGO!!!!!!!!
Link: Ahh!
They run off with the ghost always a little ways ahead of Link. After about a minute they reach the finish.
Link: pant pant
Dampe: Oh very good! I've never had someone keep up with me before! Actually, I've never raced anyone before.
Link (bent over and breathing hard): Well I still couldn't beat you.
Dampe: Well I'm in such a good mood that I'll give you a prize anyway!
He disappears.
Link: Hey! Where'd you go?
Music: Du du da da du du duuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link: Wha?
A chest drops from the ceiling.
Link: Ooooo!!!!!! Big chest!!!!!
He opens it to receive…
Music: Du du du duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link: Yay! Some weird, hooky, shiny thing!
Dampe (from far away): It's called a Hookshot!
Link: Oh.
Link walked out a back door and came to the inside of a windmill.
Link: Whoa! Look at that guy! He's freaking out!
There was a man with a strange musical box, and he was turning the handle very quickly.
Link: Hi guy!
Guy: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link: Um…how are you?
Guy: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link: Um…what's wrong?
Guy: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link: Oooo! I know! I'll play a song for you!
He pulled out his ocarina.
Guy: Hey! That ocarina! That reminds me of the day when some pesky kid came and played a strange song! The song dried up the well. It went like this.
He plays a few notes with his box and Link repeats them. All of a sudden, a storm starts up, inside the windmill!
Guy: Hey! You played it again, didn't you? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link: Ok, bye Guy!
He walked out the windmill and began the long walk to the forest.
END OF CHAPTER