I hope to get in one more update before I go on vacation again…. If not, it will be a while… but I'm planning to write while I'm away… so it won't be too long.

            Two days down, twelve more to go, thought Ryan as he came out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist.  He was grateful that Dr. Kim had let him off with a stern warning and three weeks detention, because he knew she had been toying with suspension.  He wasn't sure what swayed her to decide on the lighter punishment, but he was glad to take it.

            Not that detention was any fun.  As soon as he finished soccer practice, he had to sit in an empty classroom.  Mr. Ash was like a Nazi, keeping absolute silence and prohibiting any extra movement.  The only sound in the room was the sound of pen scratching on paper, pages turning and the occasional clearing of throat or other bodily sounds. 

 And when he was done with his two-hour suspension, Ryan was forced to go straight home.  Sandy and Kirsten took turns calling the house to make sure he arrived and once before they came home.  The constant vigilance was annoying, but he accepted it as part of the consequence.  But more and more, Ryan realized that grounding was just as harsh as any of the beatings he had received at Dawn's hands or the hands of her boyfriends.  One was over a lot sooner.

            He walked into his room, rubbing his hair dry with a towel.

            "Hi Ryan."

            His hand jerked at the sound of Marissa's voice.

            "Marissa.  What are you doing here?  I- I'm grounded.  You really shouldn't be here."

            "Seth let me in.  I just wanted to see you.  To make sure everything was okay between us."  She stood up.  "Sorry if this isn't such a good time."

            Ryan sighed.  "I'm sorry.  It's just that if Sandy or Ki-"

            "I understand.  It's okay.  I'll go.  I – I shouldn't have come."

            Ryan glanced at the clock.  "They won't be home for at least a half hour…"

            Marissa smiled.  She tucked a strand of hair behind her right ear.  "It's just that lately we don't talk much and when we do we somehow seem to argue."

            "We're okay."

            Marissa stepped back and fell onto Ryan's bed.  "The last time we really spent anytime together we argued about how you felt about Kirsten's new baby.  I shouldn't have assumed how you felt."

            "You were just saying what was on your mind."

            "So you're not mad?"

            Ryan shook his head.

            "Then why are you so distant?"

            "I just have a lot on my mind."

            "Is the adoption going okay?"

            He shook his head.  "Roger still won't sign.  And every time I talk to him I get more and more confused.  I actually started to look forward to my sessions with Dr. Acobas."

            Marissa laughed.  She patted the bed next to her, luring a half-dressed Ryan to sit next to her.  He only wore a towel, which was tied securely around his waist and in his hand was a second towel that he had been using to dry his hair.  It was early in the evening to be showering, but with detention, he didn't have time to shower after practice.

            Ryan accepted her invitation and sat down next to her.  "I don't mean to be distant or thoughtless."

            "I know."

            "I love you."

            "Thank you."

            He smirked; recalling the first time Marissa had said I love you.  It had been right before New Years and he had been so taken aback by her exclamation of love that the only words that came out were thank you.  Luckily, he had found the right words beforew it was too late to make things right between them.

            Marissa leaned in and kissed Ryan square on the lips.  She parted her lips slightly and tasted his bottom lip. 

            "Irish Spring soap?" she asked.

            Ryan shook his head up and down, and shushed her with his lips.  He pushed his tongue into her mouth and was delighted when Marissa did the same.  It only took moments for them to fall on the bed so that they could kiss and stroke some more.  With one hand, Ryan fastened the towel around his waist.  With the other hand he pushed under Marissa's top feeling the top of her milky white bosom and when he had both hands available, he undid her bra.

            Marissa disentangled herself so that she could take off her tee shirt.  Ryan stared at her bare chest, trying to hide his excitement behind the thin terry cloth towel.  But Marissa just grinned and guided Ryan's hand to her breast.

            He was outlining the nipple on her breast when there was a sharp rap on his bedroom door and it swung open. Kirsten entered and said, "Ryan we-" She stopped in mid sentence as she surveyed the scene before her.  Kirsten's face turned red as a tomato and whirled around so that her back was facing the teenagers.

            "I should have waited for an answer."

            Ryan scrambled off the bed while Marissa hurried to put her top back on. 

            "Kirsten –"

            "Get dressed Ryan.  Sandy and I are in the kitchen." 

            Kirsten walked out. 

            "I'm sorry," said Marissa.  "I should have left when you told me you were grounded.  I hope you don't get into too much trouble."

            He walked to his dresser and pulled out a pair of clean underwear.  "I just hope I don't have to endure another safe sex lecture."

            Marissa chuckled then turned serious.  "Do you think they'll call my dad?"

            "I don't know," he said pulling on his jeans.  "Probably not.  But I can't guarantee it won't come up in conversation.  Sandy has a way of doing that."

            "I guess I'll deal with it if it happens."  She stood on her tiptoes and kissed Ryan.  "Sorry.  I'll see you at school."

            "See you tomorrow," he said and finished getting dressed.

            Ryan entered the kitchen and immediately went for the barstool, which he was beginning to think of as the "scolding stool."  It seemed like lately every time he sat there he was enduring another lecture or another punishment handed out by Sandy or Kirsten.  He just wished that he could stay out of trouble for more than five minutes at a time, because he didn't know how long they would put up with his shenanigans before they changed their mind about the adoption.

            "Ryan, I'm sorry for barging in on you," said Kirsten and then whispered something into Sandy's ear and then left the kitchen. 

The room was silent.  He folded his arms in front of him and waited for Sandy to start.  Ryan wasn't sure where he would start.  Would he start with the fact that he had a visitor while he was grounded or would he start off about having sex at such a young age?

            Sandy cleared his throat.  "So how's Marissa?"  He walked to the kitchen table and motioned at Ryan to join him.

            Ryan wearily stood and joined Sandy at the table. 

            "Marissa's okay.  I – I didn't invite her over.  I just found her in my room when I came out of the shower."

            "So that's why you were so scantily dressed?"

            Ryan nodded sheepishly.

            "Are you being safe?" 

            Ryan closed his eyes.  "Sandy, I know all about STDs, pregnancy and being safe.  I'm not a virgin.  I took sex education in school-"

            "You know you can talk to me if you have any questions."

            "Thanks."

            Sandy patted Ryan's hand.  "For now, I think Kirsten and I would be more comfortable that if you have a girl over that you're downstairs in the family room or the bedroom door is kept open."

            "Okay.  Understood."

            "Good."  Sandy slapped his thigh and got up from the chair.  "Glad that's over with.  This is the part of parenthood that I could do without."

            "That's it?"

            "Is there anything else?"

            "Um, no.  Everything's cool."

            Ryan edged out of the kitchen, looking back a few times, waiting for Sandy to suddenly remember that he had broken another rule.  But he arrived in the family room where Seth was sitting Indian style on the floor playing a video game and Sandy didn't call him back for the rest of the tongue lashing he thought was coming to him.

            "Why did you let Marissa come up to my room?"

            Seth looked up.  "Hi Ryan.  How are you doing?  I'm fine, thank you."

            "Come on Seth, I'm serious.  Why'd you do that?"

            "She asked."

            "You know I'm grounded."

            "Oh.  I forgot.  Sorry.  Did Dad ream you out?"

            "No," Ryan sighed.  He sat down next to Seth, bending one leg under him and bringing the other foot up to his chin. He grabbed the second game controller, forgetting Kirsten's edict about no video games, and they wordlessly started a new game.  "Your dad just started to give me a safe sex lecture."

            Seth hammered at the buttons.  "Why do you say that?"

            "Say what?"

            "Your dad.  They want to adopt you Ryan.  My dad is your dad.  Even if it's not legal yet."

            "I'm just not used to it yet.  I don't mean anything by it."

            "Are you sure about that?  You don't seem so eager for this adoption.  If you had let dad go to court right away the adoption might already be under way."

            "I didn't want to do go through the courts if we didn't have to.  There was a chance my dad to sign the papers on his own."

            "Your dad?  Dad is your dad."

            "Lay off the semantics Seth!  Roger Atwood is also my father.  I can't change that.  Adoption won't change biology."

            Seth jumped up and shook his head. He looked accusingly at Ryan and cried, "You don't want this adoption.  Do you?"

            Ryan stared at Seth with his mouth hanging open. "What the hell are you talking about?"

            "You won't give up on them… the Atwoods, even though they treated you so shabbily.  No one expects you to forget them or to cut them out of your life, but we're your family first.  We never did anything to hurt you.  We'll never abandon you."

            Sandy and Kirsten came running in to see what the shouting was about.  They weren't used to the boys arguing.  Seth stalked out of the room and Ryan dropped the game controller trying to look as if he hadn't just disobeyed another rule.  Kirsten didn't notice, because she ran after Seth and Sandy sat down on the couch hoping to get the story out of Ryan.

            But Ryan wouldn't talk.  He just told Sandy, "It's Seth's story to tell." 

Then he went up to his room to be alone, wondering if Seth was right.  Was he trying to ruin the adoption on purpose?

Sandy doggedly followed Ryan up the stairs, trying to get the teenager to open up.  They could both hear Kirsten murmuring to Seth in his room, trying to do the same thing.  Ryan flopped on his bed and closed his eyes, hoping Sandy would take the hint.  He tried to tune out Sandy's insistent, "Tell me what happened," and "I can't help you and Seth if you won't talk to me."

After two minutes, Sandy got frustrated and raised his voice.  "This is nonsense.    Sit up.  Open your eyes and tell me what happened."

Jarred by Sandy's harsh voice, Ryan jumped to attention.  The last time Sandy had sounded so severe was when he tried to run away.  Even cutting school had not elicited that tone of voice. 

"Talk," demanded Sandy.

"Seth thinks I don't want the adoption and that I'm screwing it up on purpose," he blurted out.  "And I'm starting to think he's right."