Chapter 6- Updating the Journal Again
March 3rd 1987
10:57pm
Look what found. I found my journal. Should I be thanking my shoe? I didn't think so.
This needs some major updating. It's been 3 years has it not? Well let me re-introduce myself.
I'm Severus Snape, 16 years of age, Slytherin attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
3 years have passed. I have gotten taller, which is much to my liking. My hair is much longer now, something that irritates poor Lily Evans out of her mind. I still have black eyes and I avoid sun as I always have.
Maybe I should explain why I stopped writing? If the truth be known I don't really know, I suppose if I saw what I was feeling on paper in ink, it only confirmed that what I was thinking and half my thoughts lets face it were usually depressing or close to it. I couldn't hack it by Christmas, So many people had gone home and I was alone again. If I had of gone home, I would have alone anyway, of course my tutor would have been there, but you understand what I mean. It's his entire bloody fault. So I stopped writing.
I got through the rest of that year with a few bumps along way. By the end of 3rd year Lucius and Narcissa where officially a "couple" yes it's pretty sad 13 year olds dating. But they are still a couple now, surprisingly enough. I don't how Narcissa could stand him for 3 years, I'd rather be locked in a cardboard box with James Potter than go out with Lucius Malfoy for 3 years- That might not be completely true, but you get what I mean?
I made friends with that French girl Morganna and by the end of the year we were very very close friends. Perhaps the most understanding and compassionate friend I've ever had in my life. She reminds me of my mother so much, and I've avoided everything and anything that has ever reminded me of my mother since she died, but I don't avoid Morganna, its different, in a way I fear I cannot explain. I went into 4th year after the most boring summer holidays of my whole entire life. Trying to crack my head open against a brick wall would have been more interesting than my summer holidays. I did manage to escape from my tutor's evil plans to make me study towards the end of the summer holidays to catch up with Morganna in London when she visiting Diagon Ally as so many others were. Lucius was over a lot though which took away the sting of studying. When he is around studying seems like fun. I know I'm horrible to him and I try not be but there is my pride which I cannot lay down, I try and try and get no where- I just end up at the start… insulting Lucius all over again. He is my best friend, he truly is but my pride gets in the way, I think both our prides get in the way, so we are even but he slipped into a realm that I could follow, - love. He seemed to be in love Narcissa whom he spent 2nd and 3rd year pursuing, And I was sincerely happy for him.
He has not changed at all.
I joined Quidditch. I was a chaser. I wasn't an overly good player, just good enough to stay on the team I think. But then I dropped out. Lucius dropped Quidditch last year also because Narcissa thought it was too dangerous for him. See how she has him wrapped around her little finger?
I hope I never get like that.
That prat James Potter is Quidditch captain of the Gryffindor team.
I've also been made a prefect.
I get in trouble a lot because I don't give out enough detentions…?... What!?
I can't believe they picked someone like me, with the track record I have. I haven't exactly been a saint over the last three years. Slytherin head is sick of dealing with Malfoy, De Salis , Rosier and I. Trouble comes to us like flies to rotten meat( I could have used something like bees to honey or something all happy crappy like that… I'm I'm not that demented… really)
Nothing much else has happened. I did my O.W.Ls, I got 15, Lucius & Aeolus got 13 and Evan got 9. I'm proud of myself, for once in my life... I am actually proud of something; well I actually have some thing to be proud of.
I god damn still have divination and memories from this subject are going to haunt me until I die. I hate it I really truly do! The teacher is insane I reckon she makes half of it up.
Its was alright until she started to predict that I would grow another head.
I think that was when I gave up.
I love hogsmeade, I love butter beer (the alcoholic kind… sssh don't tell anyone)
Apparently I'm very amusing when I'm sloshed.
That Lupin character has not ceased to disappear at full moons. God I'd love to know what he is up to.
I'm going to beat Sirius Black to death one of these days. I am just going to tackle him in a corridor one day and kick 10 different shades of shit out of him. It's my goal in life. I will not die before I harm him in some physical way. He irritates me so much. All he has to do is exist and he pisses me off.
Yes I still hate the whole lot of them apart from Lily.
Lily is so much fun to be around though I must confess. She is pretty alright for a Gryffindor … but... and here is the bad part-
SHE IS GOING OUT WITH POTTER.
God damn just my luck. One of my closest friends goes out with one of my biggest enemies.
But Lily was my friend before she was going out with Potter, I fail to see why things should change just because of him.
Just how much you can damage a person before they die? And in what ways.
I don't want to be a murderer. But I want to bring that boy Potter close to death. I god damn hate the lot of them, and that snivelling little twerp Pettigrew. He talks to Lucius sometimes. What is wrong with that picture?
Lucius Malfoy is a bloody Hypocrite god damn him
As you can see I haven't changed much mentally in three years, I still carry on like I used to and I can always find something to complain about. But I'm Severus Snape- its what I do best.
Sarcasm suits me
It's the lowest form of wit
And that me all over- low
I love my life
And at the same time hate it
I love butter beer and late nights
-Severus Snape
12:03am
4th March 1987