Note: There's a dialogue in this chapter that is inspired by Jean and Scott's conversation in Uncanny 308. It's the part when Jean was proposing to Scott and I just love that exchange. So I thought I could use that here.
It was almost 2 AM when Jean finally arrived at the Institute. During her drive, she had been telepathically communicating with the Professor about Scott's condition, so she knew what to expect. But upon seeing him in the infirmary, Jean still had to fight down a cry. His face was pale, putting a stark contrast to the bloodied cut and dark bruise on his forehead. From the covers, she couldn't see his wound at the torso, but she could see his bandaged upper arm.
Jean touched Scott's hand but recoiled slightly upon feeling its coolness. Death was still lingering in her mind. She took his hand again and held it firmly this time, willing it to be warm.
"How is he?" she anxiously asked, directing the question to anybody inside the room.
"He's accepting the blood transfusion, which is a good sign," Hank answered, "He's in a stable condition for now."
"He'll be fine?" Jean asked, never taking her eyes off Scott.
"He probably won't be up for some time and he would need a good deal of time to recuperate but he'll be okay," Hank assured her.
"How did this happen?"
"We went to break up a mob fight outside the courtroom of the Conner trial," Kitty answered.
"Owen Conner?" Jean asked, looking up at Kitty to see that she sporting a couple of bruises as well, "The mutant who was accused of murdering the police officer?"
"Jah, it's the second day of trial and a fight broke out between the anti-mutant group and some of Conner's mutant supporters," Kurt said, "There were just too many of them for us to handle."
"What makes it hard was that the mutants were like, using their powers to fight the non mutants," Kitty explained, "And what's worse, people thought that we were fighting along with the mutants instead of breaking up the riot. So everyone was like, targeting us."
Kurt continued, "Then the police intervened and some shooting happened. It vas so chaotic that we didn't even know who shot Scott."
Jean replied aghast, "You mean a law enforcer could have---?"
"Or a civilian," Kurt interjected.
"It could be anybody," Hank said, "Some people would want to stir things up to create a bigger issue than it already is."
"What are you saying? That some people initiated the fight between the two groups on purpose?"
"Yes, it could have been organized. People were prepared. They brought out guns and knives. They took advantage of the anti-mutant sentiment has been raging around this trial and built on it."
"The hatred between the two groups is simply overwhelming," Charles said wearily, "All that matters for them is to be able to blame the opposing group for the murder and then get the justice-- or rather get the injustice that they want."
"And we're the ones who pays," Rogue said bitterly, "We're trying to help and they don't even know it."
"Yes," Charles said quietly then paused. "But we should never give up hope."
"I know, I know, 'there's always a hope for peaceful mutant and human coexistence'," Rogue said dryly.
Charles started to reply but Rogue cut him short. "Well, they're just a bunch of ideals that we make up in our heads! We're nowhere near the 'peaceful coexistence'. After years of fighting for it and we're still no better off. They still hate us no matter what we try to do! I mean look at Scott!" Rogue said frustrated, gesturing at Scott's still body.
There was a prolonged pause before Jean said slowly, "It doesn't look that way but we are making a difference. Aren't we?"
Rogue was surprised at Jean's reply and then scoffed, "Figures you care more for 'humanity' than you do your ex-boyfriend. I thought you of all people would be angry by this."
"I am," Jean said halfheartedly as she put her gaze back to Scott.
Hank spoke up after a moment's silence. "It's been a long day. We all better get some rest. We can take shifts monitoring Scott."
Jean understandably stayed for the first shift. Hank gave Jean a reassuring squeeze on his way out. "Don't tire yourself. Call someone to take your place after a few hours."
Jean nodded but Hank knew she'd be staying up the whole night.
She waited until no one else was in the room before she finally let the tears fall down her cheeks.
***
Jean pulled her knees up to her chest and tried to find a comfortable position on the armchair. She tugged on the fringes of her cardigan and wrapped it tighter around her. It felt so cold even though it was a fairly warm night.
Jean heard the door open and saw Rogue come in holding a sandwich and a soda.
"Here," Rogue offered, "Got some food from the kitchen."
Jean was a bit taken aback by the change of gesture. It was just a few hours ago when Rogue acted coolly at her response.
"You hungry or not?" Rogue asked.
"Thanks," Jean finally replied.
"I just figured you went straight here when you heard the news. I bet you hadn't had dinner."
"Yeah, I hadn't," Jean said, taking a sip from the soda, "I couldn't think of anything else."
"I bet," Rogue said lightly, "You arrived here at record time. Flew the car or something?"
"No, but I did make the stoplight go green all time," Jean confessed.
Rogue chuckled, making Jean crack a smile herself.
Rogue pulled a chair near and sat down. "Hey, Jean," Rogue said tentatively, "About awhile ago... I didn't mean to say that you don't care about Scott."
"It's okay. You're just saying what you think," Jean said, as she nibbled on her sandwich.
"But I know you cared. Everyone can see that. I was just really mad at the whole thing." Rogue said.
"I was too. Mad and terrified."
Rogue made a face. "Then how the heck could you still stay positive when you're upset?"
"It's crap." Jean shook her head. "It's all crap. I also doubt if we really are making a difference in our fight.""
Rogue raised her eyebrows.
"I just said that because … well, I don't want to think that Scott almost got himself killed for nothing. It just makes it all the more depressing," Jean said slowly.
"Really? And I thought you got this unwavering belief on the peaceful coexistence thing."
Jean said ruefully, "I doubt as much as you do."
"I hate this," Jean murmured.
"Hey, Scott will be okay in no time," Rogue spoke awkwardly, "He'll be up and running soon…. then all of us can get the dumbass who did this. And then along the way, we'll punish the whole mob for starting the fight in the first place---"
"And then we'll make peaceful human-mutant relations work, eliminate crime, and achieve world peace," Jean added sarcastically.
"You forgot to save the whales and patch up the hole in the ozone," Rouge put in without missing a beat.
Jean gave a tiny smile. "So that's mutant-human relations, environment, and world peace," Jean ticked off.
"Tall order but nothing that can't be accomplished."
"Yeah, I mean, world peace? Pfft, where's the challenge?"
"Right. It'll only take the length of our lifetime and the lifetime of our kids and grandkids and the ones after that to reach that."
"And by that time I think evolution had worked its course and everybody would be mutants by then. So there will be a peaceful coexistence."
"Or mankind could go the other way and we won't stop evolving until we reach the level of pond scum."
"Hmm, that's likely too."
Rogue and Jean looked at each other and smiled.
"I never knew cynicism could be so enjoyable."
"I'm glad you're learning a thing or two from me."
Rogue watched Jean polish off the last piece of sandwich before standing up. "I'm getting some few hours of shut eye before it gets bright out. You okay here?"
She smiled her thanks. "Yeah, see you."
***
Scott was nursing a stabbing headache when he finally came around. He blearily opened his eyes and for once was thankful for the ability of his shades to block out the glaring ceiling light.
He lolled his head to the left side and saw a mop of red hair at the lower edge of his bed.
"Jean," he stated dimly. He tried to reach her by extending his arm but couldn't.
Jean, who fell asleep with her arms cradling her head, stirred in his slightest sound. She saw his one of his right hand move and immediately sat up and moved near him.
"Scott?" she asked hopefully.
His didn't reply but his hand reached out to her.
"Oh, God," Jean said in whisper as she squeezed his hand.
Jean gave a shaky smile. "You feel okay?"
But the fatigue and sedative proved too strong to ignore. Scott began to feel the heaviness of his eyelids. It was too taxing to keep his eyes open. As he was slipping back to sleep, faint words reached his ears. "I love you."
Within minutes, Jean sat back, watching the rhythmic rise and fall of Scott's breathing.
***
Carrying a tray with both hands, Jean used her TK to push the infirmary's door open. Scott looked up from his bed and was pleasantly surprised to find Jean. He grinned. "Hey, how's Boston? I thought you'd be staying there for more than a couple of nights."
"It's okay. Just wrapped up some of my work. Hope you're hungry," Jean said, placing the tray of soup and bread at a nearby table. "It's chicken and veggie minestrone."
"Yum, another variation of the chicken soup," he said, making a face.
"Don't worry, after a couple more weeks, you can go back to the greasy burgers that clog up your arteries."
Scott looked outside his window. "Well, if I can't choose the food, can I at least choose the venue? Can we eat outside?"
"Umm, Negative. Doctor's orders."
"Aw, Jean, I'm been holed in here for what? Two months?" he complained.
Jean bit back a laugh. "Less than four weeks."
"It feels like forever," he grumbled, "Besides I feel like I'm losing muscle mass from the lack of moving around."
Jean watched Scott as he slowly walked his way towards the table. He did look like he could use some change of scenery. Besides, if Scott is complaining, it definitely means something.
As if expecting to find Hank there, Jean looked towards the door. Seeing no one, she replied, "Alright, fine. Maybe half an hour at the patio."
Scott grinned. "Good enough. But I'd like to change out of these pajamas first."
Jean threw a button down shirt to his direction to which he caught. "Thanks."
"Oh, wait, you shouldn't stretch your wound. Let me help."
Jean stepped in front of Scott to help him. She took the edges of the shirt and pulled it upwards. Being careful to not touch the bandaged wound, she gently slid it over his chest. Her breathing slightly quickening, Jean stretched her arms to slip the shirt off his extended arms and hands. Then she slipped his hand in the new shirt's armhole and then slipped the other one. She began to button his shirt when Scott gently caught her hands with his. "I'll do it," he mumbled.
Jean stepped back and diverted her attention to the food tray.
When Scott was done, they headed out quietly to the patio next to the pool. The sun was beginning to set, casting an orange sky above them.
Jean eased herself on the lawn chair and propped her feet up. She stretched her arms above her head and sighed contentedly. "This is a good idea."
"Yeah. Tell Hank to let me out more often. I'm not exactly bedridden." Scott said, as chewed on some bread.
"He's just taking precautions that you might overwork your recovery or something."
Scott faced her. "I know you're worried but it's not that serious. You don't have to stay here and miss school."
"Not serious? The bullet missed your lungs by --"
"--three quarters of an inch," Scott supplied in monotone, "I know. I know. But point is that it missed."
Jean knew how much Scott hated being fussed over so she kept quiet.
"Really, you shouldn't worry. You don't have to stay here. Go back to Boston."
"Oh, so you want to kick me out of the institute now," Jean teased.
"It's not that I don't like you being here. It's just that work must be piling up for you," he said lamely.
"I told you I took care of it. Besides the lab in the institute is just as good with the university's. It's even more advanced if you ask me."
They settled into a comfortable silence as Scott slowly ate his food.
When Scott looked at her direction, her eyes were closed and she had her hands clasped at the stomach. Scott gave a small smile. His very own sleeping beauty. He watched as the sinking sun played shadows across her face. He was unconsciously studying her features-- from her forehead to her closed eyes and long lashes, to her cheekbones, and her full lips.
Finally Jean spoke, "Scott?"
"I thought you were asleep."
"No, I've been thinking."
Scott leaned forward. "Something serious?"
Jean's eyes fluttered open. "Sort of." Jean sat up. "I've been thinking of moving back."
Scott's eyes widened but he kept quiet.
"Well, say something. What do you think?" Jean asked smiling, shaking his arm.
There was a pause before Scott spoke. "What made you decide to stay?"
"It's always been on the back of my mind. I don't think I can ever find a more fulfilling job than by helping people by doing what we do."
"That's your reason?" Scott asked.
"Yeah," Jean said faltering.
"When will you move in?"
Jean shrugged. "I'm not sure. As soon as possible maybe."
"Does the professor know about this?"
"Not yet. I haven't talked about it to anyone except to you."
"How exactly are you going to take care of your degree?"
Jean forced a laugh. "What's this? Twenty questions? Can't we just discuss the technicalities later?"
"You have to think this through. Moving back is a big deal."
"I know. I've been thinking about it for the past weeks and I'm trying to figure out the details." Slightly frowning Jean asked, "Can't you just be happy for my decision for a moment?"
"I am happy," Scott said stiffly. Then he shook his head and then stood up and walked away.
Puzzled by his response, it took Jean a second before she got up to follow Scott. "What is it with you?" she asked confused.
"You can't just leave and then come barging in like this," Scott retorted somewhat angrily.
"What is that suppose to mean?" Jean demanded. "Are lecturing me about commitment to the team? Is that it? Am I messing your team line up or something?"
"This has nothing to do with the team," Scott replied.
It was the look on Scott's face that clued Jean in on what he was talking about.
"I lied okay? I mean I left out a couple of reasons," Jean said quietly. "I want to come back partly because of you… Ok, it's a lot because of you."
Scott didn't know if he's supposed to be happy by those words or not. He's becoming settled on being just friends with Jean and nothing more. He's been bottling up his feelings and was good at it. And now all of the sudden she announces that she wants to come back. He doesn't know how he can handle being just friends when he'll be seeing her all the time. When she'll be throwing statements like "it's a lot because of you."
"I can't do this," he muttered more to himself than to her.
Jean furrowed her eyebrows. "What? Can't do what?"
Scott sighed. It'll have to happen sooner or later anyways, Scott thought silently. It might as well happen now.
"Look, I know we've discussed to put our past behind us and just be friends. But if you haven't noticed I'm not feeling that way even since your December visit," he said in a rush, "I know I'm completely ruining the pact we made but with you moving in… I just don't think I can handle this platonic relationship any longer.
There, he had said it. And he was scared shitless. It was absurd how he had faced Magneto, the brotherhood, and other villains numerous times before and had never faced them with more fear than what he's feeling now. He waited for her reply with bated breath.
Jean blinked and then replied, "And if you haven't noticed, Scott, I've been feeling the same way too."
"Really?" He was so prepared to hear Jean disagree that it took him by surprise when she didn't.
Still in slight disbelief, Scott said, "Well, this is a different scenario, last time I got seriously injured, you moved to another state!"
"At that time," Jean replied tentatively, "I was afraid that we were getting too serious. I was afraid of what my life would be like if we were together, if I just stayed with the x-men and never had a life apart from it."
"And now?"
"And now I'm just afraid of what my life would be like without you."
Both of them just stood motionlessly, letting the words spoken linger in the air.
"So what now?" Jean said softly.
Scott shrugged. "Maybe this time we should take it slow. You know, start over again with a first date and everything."
"Right," she agreed.
They broke the vow a second later.
Leaning in closely, Scott touched her cheek while Jean tilted her head to meet his lips. Stroking the nape of his neck, Jean felt fire course through her body with every touch and breath shared. Their unhurried actions were deliciously familiar and left both of them slightly out of breath when they finally pulled apart.
Jean murmured, "I forgot how good that felt."
"I missed it too."
"I don't want to forget again."
Scott leaned in once more. "Then let's not."
I'll be putting up the last part next week. Yea, it's almost finished!