Disclaimer: everything is owned by Meg Cabot aka Jenny Carroll
A/N: In chapter two Jesse says things in Spanish. So I put in what they mean (in chapter two) for those who don't have a translator and don't take Spanish and I'm glad you like my story so far... and don't worry Paul isn't all good... *evil laugh* On with the story...
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Maybe if he had said it in English I would have stayed to listen. But it was in Spanish.
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I was over at Cee Cee's and she was quizzing me on Jesse. It wasn't like she didn't know but she wanted all the facts. Then she asked if he was here. It was painful enough to talk about him, he never did say, and now Cee had asked if he was with me.
"No," I said with a slight sniffle. Why, WHY, did I have to cry whenever I was mad at Jesse? "Who knows where he is."
"Why are you crying?"
"Well, Cee," I knew she would bother me until I told her. "You see, um... me and Jesse are in a fight. Well, not really a fight, but all the same." Cee Cee came over and rubbed my back.
"Why are you mad at him? Because if I understand correctly he's not mad at you." I started to cry, not just sniffle.
"He has a child!" I wailed. Cee Cee stood up.
"Here's a tissue. A child? How? Can ghosts... I mean would the child be a ghost child?" I wiped my tears away.
"No, well I don't know if they can but Jesse didn't do it with another ghost. It was when he was alive." I paused. "His father arranged a marriage for him to marry his cousin, Maria. She was in love with some dude named Felix Diego. Her and her father had an argument over whom she was going to marry." Sniffle. "Jesse had left only days before the wedding and was staying in a boarding house. One night Felix came in and strangled him. That's why he was haunting my bedroom." By now Cee Cee knew that Jesse was haunting my room, but was moving into the rectory. She even knew about me being a mediator. And it wasn't just half, I told her all of it. It felt good to tell her these things, because she wouldn't betray me and I could finally tell someone about when I wasn't going, or couldn't go, to school and why I couldn't go. "And then, as we were-"
Cee Cee cut in, "Kissing?" I nodded.
"A little girl ghost popped up between us. She was only five or so. He kept calling Jesse Daddy. And he never told me it wasn't his child! He kept asking her what was her name. She said it was Anamaria and her father was Jesse and her mother was Maria. But still he never said it wasn't his. All he had was a shocked face on."
Cee Cee looked shocked. "So here's this girl, saying that Jesse's her father and he wasn't denying it? Making you think that he had a child. With who?"
"Maria. The girl looked just like Maria. She had the ringlets and everything."
"Before they got married?"
"Before she met Felix, maybe."
"Did you ask him if this girl..."
"Anamaria."
"Did you ask if Anamaria was his child, Suze?" A sheepish looked climbed onto my face. "You didn't! You automatically assumed that Anamaria was his child. From what I heard of Maria, she could of done this just to get at you."
"She was exorcized." I said simply.
"Wasn't Paul working with her?" I nodded; still a few tears were running down my face.
"Well, he could have brought her back, like you did Jesse." My eyes widened; I hadn't thought of that. When I exorcized ghosts I had always thought that they stayed there, and were forced to move on. But, now I realized, like I could rescue Jesse, Paul could rescue Maria.
"I guess you didn't think of that?" said Cee Cee. I shook my head.
"I guess he could. Maybe that was why he was so civilized to me today."
"Maybe, has it gotten colder in here? I'm suddenly freezing." I looked around. Nothing. But...
Jesse materialized in front of me, in a rage for ignoring him. He opened his mouth.
"Cee," I turned to her. "Jesse's here. So I'll be yelling at thin air." I turned back to Jesse. "Look here..." I started.
"Susannah! What am I supposed to do with the child? Why aren't you trying to help her along? Why are you mad at me? I do have a good idea though."
"Why haven't you told me? Why are you mad at me?" I shot back at him. Cee Cee was looking over her shoulder, trying to find where Jesse was. "Cee he's right in front of me."
"She knows about me?" Jesse was angry now; his scar was glowing.
"It's not like it wasn't obvious at the party. I mean, for god's sake, I was yelling Jesse. You and Paul totally ruined my secret. Now Cee Cee knows and I bet Adam has a thought about what was happening."
"You didn't have to tell her!"
"And, your point is? I mean you didn't have to have a child with Maria, and yet you did!" That slipped out. I wasn't going to spit that in his face. I was going to bring it up nice and slow and then make him madder than before.
"Weren't you listening before you came here?"
"NO, IT WAS IN SPANISH!" I was mad now. Not angry but MAD.
"Shut up, Suze, you're going to wake my parents. They'll think we're in a fight."
"It was in Spanish?"
"Yeah how could you miss the fact that I couldn't understand you?"
"Well, I was born speaking Spanish, like you were born speaking English! Some times it JUST SLIPS OUT!" Jesse had come closer to me. "I'm sorry, querida."
"Hey, Jesse," that was Cee Cee, "Where ever you are Suze wants to know..."
"Is Anamaria your daughter?" I butted in.
"I said so before," He started and I felt heartbroken. Did that mean she was? "In Spanish. She's not my daughter. It must have been one of Maria's and Felix's that died at an early age. She doesn't look anything like me. Maria must have sent her."
"Oh, Jesse, I'm sorry about assuming she was your child without asking." I was relieved. She wasn't his child.
"I'm the one who's sorry, querida, I never told you she wasn't mine until it was too late." He walked closer to me. I stood up, and kissed him.
"Ew." was all Cee Cee said. "It looks like your kissing thin air." She said to me and I was kissing Jesse. "Because I can't see Jesse." She stood up and went into the kitchen.
"Jesse, I'm so sorry."
"It's alright, querida, don't worry." He kissed me once more. Then I realized what Cee Cee had said. She couldn't see him. No one could. And he was here by me, kissing me, when he only has half a life. He wasn't alive, yet not completely dead. I pulled away.
"Jesse, we..."
"Shh," he said and kissed me again. "We'll talk later."
I found Cee Cee in the kitchen, drinking a glass of milk. "Seeing you make out with nothing I can see isn't one my top list of priorities. It had to leave." I laughed. "So did you and Jesse make up? I see well enough to kiss, but is everything good?"
"Yeah," I said, "except..." Cee Cee rolled her eyes. "No, listen, Cee. Jesse isn't alive. What you said is true, you can't see him. Nor can my family. So he's not alive. And he's not dead either. He's a ghost. He hasn't moved on for 150 years. He's got to be tired of being here. He's not dead; he hasn't been to the other side. He doesn't know what's over there. He can't be my boyfriend. While I grow older he'll stay twenty or so. I'll be forty and he'll be twenty. It won't work. I've always known it wouldn't but now, now it feels real. I'll have to tell him."
Cee looked at me. "You know that I like Adam. And I'll never have a chance with him. You saw the way he was all over you before you rejected him. But have I ever given up? Don't give up Suze; you don't know what will happen later. One of these days Adam might ask me out."
"Maybe," I said ignoring her; it would hurt too much to lose Jesse after telling him that I love him. "I could have Paul exorcize him! That would work. And Jesse would never expect it to be me who exorcized him."
"Suze, listen. You love Jesse, I can tell. It's in your eyes. Don't give him up! Let's be in this together. If I don't give Adam up, you don't give Jesse up. If you don't give Jesse up I won't give Adam up. If I give Adam up, you can give Jesse up. If you give Jesse up, I will give Adam up." She wouldn't just leave me alone.
"Fine," I sighed. We shook hands. "It's a deal."
A/N: In chapter two Jesse says things in Spanish. So I put in what they mean (in chapter two) for those who don't have a translator and don't take Spanish and I'm glad you like my story so far... and don't worry Paul isn't all good... *evil laugh* On with the story...
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Maybe if he had said it in English I would have stayed to listen. But it was in Spanish.
â¼â»§â»â¼
I was over at Cee Cee's and she was quizzing me on Jesse. It wasn't like she didn't know but she wanted all the facts. Then she asked if he was here. It was painful enough to talk about him, he never did say, and now Cee had asked if he was with me.
"No," I said with a slight sniffle. Why, WHY, did I have to cry whenever I was mad at Jesse? "Who knows where he is."
"Why are you crying?"
"Well, Cee," I knew she would bother me until I told her. "You see, um... me and Jesse are in a fight. Well, not really a fight, but all the same." Cee Cee came over and rubbed my back.
"Why are you mad at him? Because if I understand correctly he's not mad at you." I started to cry, not just sniffle.
"He has a child!" I wailed. Cee Cee stood up.
"Here's a tissue. A child? How? Can ghosts... I mean would the child be a ghost child?" I wiped my tears away.
"No, well I don't know if they can but Jesse didn't do it with another ghost. It was when he was alive." I paused. "His father arranged a marriage for him to marry his cousin, Maria. She was in love with some dude named Felix Diego. Her and her father had an argument over whom she was going to marry." Sniffle. "Jesse had left only days before the wedding and was staying in a boarding house. One night Felix came in and strangled him. That's why he was haunting my bedroom." By now Cee Cee knew that Jesse was haunting my room, but was moving into the rectory. She even knew about me being a mediator. And it wasn't just half, I told her all of it. It felt good to tell her these things, because she wouldn't betray me and I could finally tell someone about when I wasn't going, or couldn't go, to school and why I couldn't go. "And then, as we were-"
Cee Cee cut in, "Kissing?" I nodded.
"A little girl ghost popped up between us. She was only five or so. He kept calling Jesse Daddy. And he never told me it wasn't his child! He kept asking her what was her name. She said it was Anamaria and her father was Jesse and her mother was Maria. But still he never said it wasn't his. All he had was a shocked face on."
Cee Cee looked shocked. "So here's this girl, saying that Jesse's her father and he wasn't denying it? Making you think that he had a child. With who?"
"Maria. The girl looked just like Maria. She had the ringlets and everything."
"Before they got married?"
"Before she met Felix, maybe."
"Did you ask him if this girl..."
"Anamaria."
"Did you ask if Anamaria was his child, Suze?" A sheepish looked climbed onto my face. "You didn't! You automatically assumed that Anamaria was his child. From what I heard of Maria, she could of done this just to get at you."
"She was exorcized." I said simply.
"Wasn't Paul working with her?" I nodded; still a few tears were running down my face.
"Well, he could have brought her back, like you did Jesse." My eyes widened; I hadn't thought of that. When I exorcized ghosts I had always thought that they stayed there, and were forced to move on. But, now I realized, like I could rescue Jesse, Paul could rescue Maria.
"I guess you didn't think of that?" said Cee Cee. I shook my head.
"I guess he could. Maybe that was why he was so civilized to me today."
"Maybe, has it gotten colder in here? I'm suddenly freezing." I looked around. Nothing. But...
Jesse materialized in front of me, in a rage for ignoring him. He opened his mouth.
"Cee," I turned to her. "Jesse's here. So I'll be yelling at thin air." I turned back to Jesse. "Look here..." I started.
"Susannah! What am I supposed to do with the child? Why aren't you trying to help her along? Why are you mad at me? I do have a good idea though."
"Why haven't you told me? Why are you mad at me?" I shot back at him. Cee Cee was looking over her shoulder, trying to find where Jesse was. "Cee he's right in front of me."
"She knows about me?" Jesse was angry now; his scar was glowing.
"It's not like it wasn't obvious at the party. I mean, for god's sake, I was yelling Jesse. You and Paul totally ruined my secret. Now Cee Cee knows and I bet Adam has a thought about what was happening."
"You didn't have to tell her!"
"And, your point is? I mean you didn't have to have a child with Maria, and yet you did!" That slipped out. I wasn't going to spit that in his face. I was going to bring it up nice and slow and then make him madder than before.
"Weren't you listening before you came here?"
"NO, IT WAS IN SPANISH!" I was mad now. Not angry but MAD.
"Shut up, Suze, you're going to wake my parents. They'll think we're in a fight."
"It was in Spanish?"
"Yeah how could you miss the fact that I couldn't understand you?"
"Well, I was born speaking Spanish, like you were born speaking English! Some times it JUST SLIPS OUT!" Jesse had come closer to me. "I'm sorry, querida."
"Hey, Jesse," that was Cee Cee, "Where ever you are Suze wants to know..."
"Is Anamaria your daughter?" I butted in.
"I said so before," He started and I felt heartbroken. Did that mean she was? "In Spanish. She's not my daughter. It must have been one of Maria's and Felix's that died at an early age. She doesn't look anything like me. Maria must have sent her."
"Oh, Jesse, I'm sorry about assuming she was your child without asking." I was relieved. She wasn't his child.
"I'm the one who's sorry, querida, I never told you she wasn't mine until it was too late." He walked closer to me. I stood up, and kissed him.
"Ew." was all Cee Cee said. "It looks like your kissing thin air." She said to me and I was kissing Jesse. "Because I can't see Jesse." She stood up and went into the kitchen.
"Jesse, I'm so sorry."
"It's alright, querida, don't worry." He kissed me once more. Then I realized what Cee Cee had said. She couldn't see him. No one could. And he was here by me, kissing me, when he only has half a life. He wasn't alive, yet not completely dead. I pulled away.
"Jesse, we..."
"Shh," he said and kissed me again. "We'll talk later."
I found Cee Cee in the kitchen, drinking a glass of milk. "Seeing you make out with nothing I can see isn't one my top list of priorities. It had to leave." I laughed. "So did you and Jesse make up? I see well enough to kiss, but is everything good?"
"Yeah," I said, "except..." Cee Cee rolled her eyes. "No, listen, Cee. Jesse isn't alive. What you said is true, you can't see him. Nor can my family. So he's not alive. And he's not dead either. He's a ghost. He hasn't moved on for 150 years. He's got to be tired of being here. He's not dead; he hasn't been to the other side. He doesn't know what's over there. He can't be my boyfriend. While I grow older he'll stay twenty or so. I'll be forty and he'll be twenty. It won't work. I've always known it wouldn't but now, now it feels real. I'll have to tell him."
Cee looked at me. "You know that I like Adam. And I'll never have a chance with him. You saw the way he was all over you before you rejected him. But have I ever given up? Don't give up Suze; you don't know what will happen later. One of these days Adam might ask me out."
"Maybe," I said ignoring her; it would hurt too much to lose Jesse after telling him that I love him. "I could have Paul exorcize him! That would work. And Jesse would never expect it to be me who exorcized him."
"Suze, listen. You love Jesse, I can tell. It's in your eyes. Don't give him up! Let's be in this together. If I don't give Adam up, you don't give Jesse up. If you don't give Jesse up I won't give Adam up. If I give Adam up, you can give Jesse up. If you give Jesse up, I will give Adam up." She wouldn't just leave me alone.
"Fine," I sighed. We shook hands. "It's a deal."