Marauder Mayhem Disclaimer: Yeah, I obviously don't own any HP stuff. you all know that cuz you're not stupid, and even if ya are, it's okay! However, I do own Raven McKinnon and a few other made up characters along the way. Chapter 4

"Now that the sorting hat is through, am I right in surmising that you are all very hungry?" Dumbledore paused and waited for everyone to murmur that they were. "Then without further ado, we will begin the-" again the Headmaster paused, only this time, instead of looking at the crowd awaiting a response, he tilted his head and put a hand to his ear as if he were listening to something no one else could hear. "-Ah, yes. I forgot to introduce Ms. McKinnon. Raven, would you stand up, please? Students, this is Raven McKinnon, she's in her seventh year, and she's moved here from America. I'm sure you will all want to welcome her more properly after the opening ceremony. Let's eat." Dumbledore waves his hand and the food for the feast had magically appeared on the table.

"So let me get this straight," said Raven as they all piled their plates. "Gryffindor's the best, obviously, then Ravenclaw, then Hufflepuff, then Slytherin?"

"Basically. Gryffindor's for the brave, Ravenclaw's for the smart, Hufflepuff's for the stupid, and Slytherin's for-"

"The assholes?" guessed Raven, interrupting Sirius.

"Yeah," he answered.

"So, why aren't you in Hufflepuff?" she asked him.

"Blow me," Sirius replied.

"Said the Hufflepuff."

James, Remus, and Peter exchanged all-knowing glances and smiled, listening to Raven and Sirius bicker. For the past month, whenever Sirius and Raven were together, they playfully fought with each other. This is how they had become friends.

"Go to hell," said Sirius.

"I probably will," answered Raven. At this, she and Sirius looked at each other and laughed.

"Yeah, you must be goin to hell, cuz it's gotta be a sin to look that good!" said Sirius, winking at Raven.

"They go from insults to pick-up lines like that," James snapped his fingers, "don't they?"

"So, when does Quiddich start?" Raven asked, overhearing James.

"Just because you gave Justin head doesn't mean you're gonna make the team!" teased Sirius.

"Why not? It worked for you!" she answered.

"Shut up, bitch," retorted Sirius, automatically.

"Okay, could we for two seconds pretend that you have more than a three word vocabulary? 'Shut up, bitch!' That was stunning."

"Jesus, can't you guys just be friends?" yelled James.

"We are friends," both of them said.

"Then act like it!"

Sirius and Raven glanced skeptically at each other.

"Okay, we'll try," said Raven. "She put on a fake smile, looked at Sirius, and said, "Sirius, my dear friend, could you pass the butter?"

"Ah, but Raven, my pet, you didn't say the magic word," Sirius played along, shaking his finger in her face.

"Oh, how dreadfully appalling of me, darling Sirius. Let me try it again. Pass me the goddamn butter, NOW!"

Sirius's eyes widened. Trying not to laugh, he quickly grabbed the butter dish and set it in front of Raven. As Raven picked up her knife, Sirius then seized it out of her hand and dipped it into the butter.

"Here, muffin," he said, taking the dinner roll from her plate, "allow me." Sirius cut the roll in half and buttered it for her.

"Why, Sirius Lee Black! What would I ever do without such a chivalrous companion as yourself?"

"I just don't know, cheesecake. Let me help you eat," he said, stuffing the now buttered roll into Raven's mouth.

James, Peter, and Remus couldn't take it anymore and burst out in a fit of laughter.

"Cheesecake?!" cried Remus.

Justin Wood, who was sitting next to Remus, scanned the table, reached for a dish, and handed a plate full of cherry cheesecake to Remus. "Here ya go, Lupin," he said cheerfully.

"Wha-oh, no I didn't want-thank you, Wood," he stammered. This only made the rest of them laugh more.

"Okay, I take it back. Don't you two ever be nice to each other again!"

They finished their dinner and headed up to Gryffindor Tower. They came to the fat lady and she asked for the password.

"What's the password?" asked Sirius.

"Cornish Pixie," said Justin from behind them.

"Oh, hey Wood!" Raven turned to face him.

"Raven! There's my star Quiddich player! You ready to drop those Slytherin's on their asses?"

"You bet I am, Captain!"

"That's my girl!" said Wood, making his voice sound like he was on the verge of tears and pretending to wipe his eyes. He put his arm around Raven and led her into the portrait hole as it swung open.

"Hey! What about me?" James called after them. "I'm better than she is!"

"No you're not, Potter. You kinda suck, actually," said Wood. Raven smiled and stuck out her tongue at James.

"Alright, that's sexism, right there! Just because she's hotter than me doesn't mean she's better at Quiddich!"

"Is it my fault our Quiddich Captain's a heterosexual?" Raven asked him, innocently. Wood laughed

"Hey, Black," said Wood, clapping Sirius on the back. "You been practicing in Germany?"

"Course I have. I beat up my brother a few times, actually," said Sirius.

"Good! The better you are, the better off we are."

"Thank you-"

"God damn! Now Sirius is better than me? What the hell is this?" cried James.

"Oh, cool off, Potter! I was just kidding about you sucking," said Wood. "You know you're good. We're all good and we're gonna kick some ass. Seriously, guys, it's our time! Our time! I can feel it!" As he was talking, Justin threw his fists in the air above his head.

"Hold that thought until October, okay, Wood?" Raven said, pulling his arms down and laughing.

"Oh, right!"

"I'm going up to bed, okay, guys?" said Lily from behind them.

"Okay. I'll see you in the morning," said James, giving her a kiss.

"Come by my room, okay?" Raven said.

"Alright," said Lily as she went up to the girls' dormitory.

"Don't you guys sleep in the same room?" asked Sirius.

"Not me. I worked it out with Dumbledore so that I could still work at night while I was here. He said I'd hafta get my own room so I didn't disturb the other girls in the middle of the night. Plus, he didn't want everyone doing it, so it's kinda a secret," Raven explained.

"Cool. So, where is it?" asked Sirius.

"No one's supposed to know, but I'm sure they'll find out eventually," Raven led Sirius to a supposedly plain wall next to the fireplace. She tapped the wall three times with her wand and a portrait appeared out of nowhere. It contained the opposite of the Fat Lady. She was blonde and skinny, wearing a yellow dress.

"Oh, Miss Raven! How as your summer?" the portrait asked.

"Short. How was yours?" answered Raven.

"Boring."

"Dumbledore showed me the portrait when I came last month to be sorted and stuff," said Raven.

"Well, here you-oh." she stopped and stared at Sirius for a minute. "Who is this? Your boyfriend?"

Raven laughed. "Boy, yes. Friend, no!" she teased.

"Hey!" interjected Sirius.

Raven laughed again. "Just kidding! No, we're just good friends. Lucy, thes are my friends, Sirius Black, James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. There's also a red head named Lily Evans. If it's one of them, you don't have to ask me to let them in, okay? But if it's anyone else, then get my permission first, got it?

"Oh, of course!" she said as her portrait slid up to reveal the doorway to Raven's room.

"Cool," said Sirius, stepping into her room. "So, how do you get to the club?"

"Broom."

"Do we get to come?"

"If you don't get caught," warned Raven. "Dumbledore gave me this portkey, but I thought if I use my broom, you guys could use the portkey. It gets reset every night. I hafta be there like really early to get ready and stuff, so."

"Cool," they all said.

"Well, I'm tired, so I'm gonna go to bed.That is if you guys ever get outta my room," said Raven, raising her voice so all the guys could hear her.

"Oh, sorry, babe. You goin to sleep?" asked James.

"I'd like to, yeah," she said.

"K. Night."

"Night, Rave."

"We'll come get ya in the morning."

"Dream about me," said Sirius, winking at her.

"Yeah, you wish," she replied. A/N: HOPE YOU LIKED IT. PLEASE REVIEW!