Marauder Mayhem Disclaimer: Yeah, I obviously don't own any HP stuff. you all know that cuz you're not stupid, and even if ya are, it's okay! However, I do own Raven McKinnon and a few other made up characters along the way. Chapter 7 September 4th

James and Lily were hand in hand, walking out of the front doors and onto Hogwarts grounds. Raven and Sirius were dragging their feet behind them.

"I figure we can use that portkey Dumbledore gave Raven to get to the club. Then we can just walk to the restaurant from the club," said James.

"Great," said Sirius and Raven unenthusiastically.

"C'mon, guys, it'll be fun," encouraged Lily.

"I can't believe you're taking his side, Lil! You just warmed up to him like a weak ago!" said Raven.

"Just come on, you two," said James,

Standing outside the door to Raven's club, they continued walking into a restaurant called Magical Meals & More and sat down at a table for four.

"What, guys? No pick-up lines tonight? The one night it would actually be appropriate?" asked James.

"Sorry, I just feel so uninspired," said Sirius blankly.

They ordered their food and James and Lily started chatting away while Sirius and Raven sat there looking at each other and occasionally rolling their eyes.

"You look nice," complemented Sirius, sincerely. She did look incredible. She was wearing a cute black top and dark red pants. And Sirius, of course, always wore black if he had a choice.

"Thanks," said Raven. "So do you."

"So, tell me about this Snape guy," said Raven.

"Snivellus?" asked Sirius, distastefully. "How'd you find out about him?"

"Met him yesterday. I dropped my books and he helped me pick them up.while looking down my shirt!"

"That little dick! I'll kick his ass!" yelled Sirius.

Raven gave him one of her looks. "You would have done the same thing."

Sirius opened his mouth to object and then closed it again. He nodded, "Yeah, I would have. So he was actually nice to you?"

"Well yeah, but really weird. I was telling Justin about my parents being killed and everything and he was kind of muttering to himself. I heard him say 'Like a girl that beautiful could be anything but pureblood,' it was weird, though. He was like talking to himself."

"Well, he doesn't have anyone else to talk to. Everyone hates him except the Slytherins. He's the biggest brown noser in the whole world!"

"Really?" asked Raven, becoming interested.

"Oh yeah, he's got his head so far up Professor Sprout's ass, it's hard to tell where he ends and she begins!"

Raven howled with laughter, making Lily and James watch them.

"Rave, wanna come to the bathroom with me?" asked Lily, suddenly.

"Not really, no."

"C'mon, I hafta go!" Lily said.

"But I don't hafta go."

"Just come on!" growled Lily, pulling Raven up from her chair and leading her to the bathroom.

"What is going on?" Raven asked.

"I just wanted to talk to you," said Lily innocently.

"About what?"

"Tell me you don't think he's hot!"

"What? James always looks-"

"No, Rave, not James. I'm talking about Sirius!"

"I thought you liked James. Ya know, if you want Sirius, you can have him. You don't hafta ask me!"

"Raven! I don't want Sirius! I was asking if you thought he looked hot."

"He looks the same as he always does."

"Oh, you are such a liar! I can tell when you're lying, ya know."

"I didn't say I don't think he's hot, but he doesn't look an extra hot tonight."

"So you do think he's hot!" shouted Lily, triumphantly.

"Just because I think he's hot doesn't mean I wanna go out with him!"

"Yes, it does!"

"No, it really doesn't. I think James is hot, too. Maybe I'll ask him out."

"What?"

"Oh, you don't want me to?"

"Well.no."

"I didn't think so. I think I made my point. Is this conversation over yet?" Raven asked, impatiently.

"Okay, fine," Lily sighed.

Apparently this was the plan that Lily and James had worked out together. Back at the table, James was asking Sirius the exact same thing.

"Sirius, why can't you just admit you think she's beautiful?"

"I can admit that. Even she knows I think she's beautiful. That doesn't mean I like her as anything more than a friend."

"Yes, it does!"

"No, it doesn't, James. Don't you think she's beautiful?"

"You know I do."

"Then why don't you like her?"

"I do like her. In fact, I love her."

"Like a friend, though, right?"

"Like a sister," corrected James.

"Whatever. Now, why can't it just be like that with me?"

"Because it's different with her. I've seen how you look at her; if you don't like her, you're crazy."

"You're crazy, ya know that?"

"I agree," said Raven as she sat back down next to him.

Lily and James looked at each other and shook their heads. They finished dinner and headed back to the club where they had left the portkey. Raven ran inside quickly to talk to Gus and then came back out.

"Gus is letting me start again tomorrow. I took a break for a few days cuz I wanted to get ready for school and stuff."

"So we get to come?" asked Sirius.

"Sure, why not?"

A girl with short blonde hair walked out of the club and noticed Sirius. "Well, what are you doing here?"

"I work here, Drusilla. remember?" answered Raven.

"I was talking to him," she pointed distastefully at Sirius.

Raven turned to look at him and rose her eyebrows. "Oh really? Does he owe you an apology?"

"Damn right, he does!" she exclaimed.

Sirius looked worried. "Uh, I'm sorry I didn't call you. It's just that I uh. I uh, fell in love!" stammered Sirius. He quickly ran over to Raven and linked arms with her.

Raven jumped back. "Oh no ya don't! Leave me outta this! He's kidding, Dru, really!"

"Well, Sirius Black, just to make things clear, I don't ever wanna see you again," she said, flipping her hair over her shoulder and stalking off down the street.

"Well, that wasn't too bad," said Sirius, breathing a sigh of relief as they gathered around the portkey and were suddenly back in the castle. "You could have helped me out there, Raven!"

Raven scoffed. "I'm not gonna lie for you. I'm sure you deserved it."

"Yeah, but I thought you were my friend. You could have at least backed me up!" he yelled at her.

"You thought I was your friend? I let you move into my house no questions asked when you decided to run away from home! I gave you a frickin flying motorcycle and an autographed Smashing Pumpkins CD, you're favorite band of all time, for your birthday and you THINK we're friends?-"

"Actually, I thought the bike was from all of you," he said, meekly.

"God, you always hafta disagree with whatever I say! You know, I really hate you sometimes!" she yelled, bringing her face up to his.

"I hate you more!" he shouted back, and before Raven could utter her next attack, Sirius's lips were on hers. After a few seconds, Sirius pulled away. The two of them stared at each other for a minute and then slowly turned to look at James and Lily. Lily's mouth was half open, but James's dropped almost to the floor, and his eyes were bugged out of his head. He mouthed wordlessly at them before he could speak.

"Uh, well, goodnight then," he said, taking Lily's hand and pulling her away from them.

"Um, yeah, night," muttered Lily.

And without a backward glance, they hurried up to their dormitories, completely clueless as to whether they had really convinced Sirius and Raven that they liked each other, or if they had figured it out on their own. Lucy's portrait opened and Raven and Sirius went in.

"'Just good friends' my ass!" they heard a voice say.

Raven whipped back around, "Lucy!"

"Oh! Sorry, Miss Raven!" said Lucy, quickly.

Sirius and Raven burst into laughter as the portrait slid down. "Well, it looks like they bought it," he said.

"Ya think?" said Raven, sarcastically, falling onto her bed and pulling up the covers. "Get outta my room!"

"You just love throwin me out, don't you?"

"Yep. Out!"

"Where do want me to go?"

"Go sleep in the commons."

"And what if someone comes down there in the middle of the night?"

"Tell em the truth: I threw you out."

"And then all we worked for goes to shit?" Sirius sat on the bed next to her.

Raven sighed. "Fine, you can sleep in here. But remember how I said I'd bite off your tongue?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Same goes for Sirius Jr. if he comes anywhere near me, got it?"

Sirius swallowed hard. "Got it," he said. "You really think I'd try that with you?"

"Would you?"

"Don't flatter yourself, McKinnon."

"Good." Raven got up from the bed and started pacing the room.

"So, wha'd Lily say in the bathroom?" asked Sirius.

"Oh, she asked me if I thought you looked hot tonight," said Raven casually.

".And?"

"And I told her even if I do think you're hot, it doesn't mean I like you."

"You think I'm hot?" asked Sirius, standing back up.

"No!" Raven stopped in front of him.

"No, huh?" he asked, sounding very affronted.

"Well, maybe."

"Maybe?" Sirius grinned, suggestively, taking a step towards her.

Raven took a step towards him and brought her face right up to his. "No!" she said, pushing him back down on her bed and turning from him.

"That was cruel," Sirius said.

"Oh, you're hot and you know it."

"Really?" Sirius stood up again.

"But that doesn't mean that I-"

Sirius grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him again. "-Thank you."

"Your welcome."

"James asked me the same thing, ya know."

"Must have been their game plan."

"Yeah, he's like, 'Why can't you admit that she's beautiful?' and I said the same thing you did. I know you are, but that doesn't mean I like you, blah, blah, blah."

"Right."

"But it's like, how can he expect me to deny it? I'm the one who hit on you when I first saw you at the club and didn't know who you were!"

"Oh my God, I had forgotten all about that!" laughed Raven.

"Oh, I thought of a better line now."

"Yeah? Lay it on me."

Sirius smiled, "I think I'm in heaven cuz you look like an angel. Can you take off your shirt so I can check for wings?"

Raven opened her mouth to say something, but she couldn't get it out before laughing. "Bloody hell! That was terrible! That is why you're not gettin laid tonight!"

"Wait, I can come up with a better one!. Uh, I lost my virginity, can I have yours?"

"Too late."

"Dammit!" A/N: HOPE YOU LIKED IT. PLEASE, REVIEW!