Marauder Mayhem
Disclaimer: Yeah, I obviously don't own any HP stuff. you all know that
cuz you're not stupid, and even if ya are, it's okay! However, I do own
Raven McKinnon and a few other made up characters along the way.
Songs: Sometimes I have songs that a character is singing or dancing to.
In this chapter there is "Lie To Me" by Jonny Lang.my favorite! and "Not
The One" by The Donnas.
Chapter 9
September 6th
"Sirius, baby, is it really you?"
Sirius whipped around. "Eve? What the hell do you want?" he said shortly to the blond-haired girl wearing Slytherin robes.
"Just to have some fun," said Eve, eyeing him, suggestively. "I really miss being with you."
"With me? Things change, Eve," Sirius replied, uneasily, removing her hand from his face.
"What are you saying, Sirius?"
"I'm saying I've forgotten all about you," said Sirius, matter-of-factly.
"Oh really?" she said, lifting her eyebrows. "Did you forget this?" she said, putting her lips on his.
Sirius pushed her away, only to find Raven standing a few feet from them. Her mouth was open and she was shaking her head, trying to speak. She suddenly turned and started to run back up the staircase they were standing in the middle of.
"Rave! Wait!" said Sirius, bounding after her and leaving Eve to stare after them. "It's not what you think! She just-"
Raven had ordered Lucy to slam the portrait down in Sirius' face. "Raven, please! Listen to me, I went out with her last year. I broke up with her two weeks before school was out for the summer, I swear to God!"
Suddenly, Jonny Lang's "Lie to Me" came on from inside Raven's room. ("Lie to me, and tell me everything is alright. Lie to me, and tell me that you're stayin the night. Tell me that you'll never leave. Oh, I'm just tryin to make believe that everything your tellin me is true. C'mon, baby, won't you just lie to me. Go ahead, lie to me..." ) She turned her CD player up really loud to drown out Sirius as he was trying to explain. She didn't want to hear it. She thought maybe the words of the song would get her point across better than listening to his "lies."
"Sirius? What's going on?" James and Lily had come down the stairs and noticed him outside Raven's room.
Sirius ignored them and tried to yell over the music. "She doesn't mean anything to me! She just started kissing me, I don't even know how it happened. You hafta believe me! I..." Sirius trailed off, too tired from yelling and running up the stairs, and sank down to the floor.
"What happened, Sirius?" Lily and James asked in unison.
Sirius told them everything with "Lie to Me" still playing in the background.
"Let's just go downstairs and leave her alone." Eventually, James got Sirius to go down to the Great Hall and eat breakfast. "Okay, now when she comes down, no one say anything about what happened. Sirius, just don't say anything to her, okay? You're only gonna make things worse right now."
"I didn't mean to kiss her. She just grabbed me, okay?" Sirius had his face lying on the table.
"I know, but that doesn't matter to her right now. She saw you kissing another girl. Just trust me on this. I've known her my whole life."
"Shut up, here she comes," said Remus.
As Raven came into the Great Hall, Sirius raised his head from the table. She did not look over at them as she continued walking all the way up to the head table that ran perpendicular to the house tables. She spoke to Dumbledore for a few minutes and then turned and walked back down the row. As she walked by him, Sirius asked her if she wanted any bacon. Turning to look back at him, she gave him an icy stare, then continued to walk out of the Great Hall. No one saw her the rest of the day. At dinner they were all a little curious as to where she was.
"Where the hell is she? This is killing me!" said Sirius, with his head in his hands.
"Does she work tonight?" asked Peter.
"Yeah," said James.
"Well, we can definitely find her there. She always says dancing takes her mind off things," said Lily.
At ten o'clock, they wandered into the Forbidden Forest to find the portkey that would take them to the club. They saw no sign of Raven when they entered the club.
"Hey Xander, is Raven here?" James asked.
"Oh yeah, she's here. Been here all day long," Alexander answered.
"What for?" Sirius inquired.
"Practicing. Said she needed to run through a new song for tonight. Taught it to the band and everything a few hours ago."
"Thanks Jer," said James as Jeremiah continued backstage. "Sirius, you're in trouble," he added.
"Wonderful. Like my day could get any worse. I'm gonna kill that bitch!"
"Whoa, Sirius! You're talking about my best friend here!" said James, defensively.
"No, I'm not. I meant Eve, the girl she saw me kissing."
Three guys then came onto the stage and started plugging in instruments and testing the mikes. They began the song Raven had taught them earlier that day when Raven came out of the dressing room and met eyes with Sirius.
"Oh good, you're here. I didn't want you to miss your song," her smile was almost angelic.
"You know I wouldn't miss it for the world," he said.
Raven took the stage and began singing her song and also playing her guitar. "Our first date was our last date. You're the kinda guy that I love to hate. Now I don't want your eggs or bacon. And when I kissed you I was fakin. I gotta let you know that you hafta let me go. I thought you were the one, but, baby, you're no fun, and you're not the one. Not the one! Now, I don't wanna take you out anymore. I got your number, there's the door. There's somethin missin in your head. And I got no room for you in my bed. I gotta let you know that you hafta let me go. I thought you were the one, but, baby, you're no fun, and you're not the one. Not the one!" The song ended, and Raven went backstage. Sirius sighed and followed her.
"Can you just let me explain, please?" begged Sirius, taking hold of Raven and spinning her around to face him.
"You don't have to, really," she answered him, nonchalantly.
"Yeah, Rave, I do. I broke up with her before I left this summer. Apparently, she found me this morning and started putting moves on me again. I told her it was over, but she just started kissing me. I swear to God I didn't enjoy it."
"Sirius, I don't care if you enjoyed it... it was brilliant! How did you think of-"
"-But I didn't even know what was going on until... What?"
"Well, the scam, it was-"
"Fuck the scam! This is about the scam?" Sirius was very confused. "I thought it was real! I thought you really thought I was cheating on you. It looked real to me!"
"Of course it wasn't real," said Raven, weakly. "I just figured you thought it all up for the breakup."
"Okay. You really scared me, ya know? I mean, we fight all the time, but we've always just been joking. I thought I really messed up."
"You didn't do anything, unless you really wanted to kiss that girl."
"I told you I didn't."
"Not that it matters," said Raven, quickly.
"Yeah, but it did matter to me. I mean, I was really scared that I'd lost you even though I never really had you."
This statement was followed by a very awkward silence in which Sirius made a face that said, 'Why the hell did I say that?' which Raven noticed.
"Well, I guess my reaction was kinda real at first, too. But then I just decided to play it up since we were gonna break up today anyway."
"What do you mean it was real at first?"
"Like, when I saw you kissing her, I kinda forgot for a second that it was all just pretend, and I felt really hurt." Raven became nervous and started rambling, "So, I ran into my room cuz I didn't know why I was so jealous. And then I came to my senses, and decided it was a good way to break up, anyway."
"And why would you be jealous?" asked Sirius.
"I don't know, okay? God, I didn't wanna tell you this, cuz I knew then you'd get like that and think that I liked you for real or something."
"You do, don't you?" charmed Sirius.
Raven sighed and rolled her eyes. "I had a brief moment of feeling like I didn't possibly hate you, but it passed like, five minutes after it happened." Raven's face went pink, but she kept going. "Especially after you danced with me, ya know, to the Dirty Dancing song."
"Now you know how I felt when I kissed you after the song you did last night. I don't know, something just came over me, and I couldn't stop myself from kissing you."
"Yeah, well now I also know what you meant by not being able to control your tongue," Raven smiled.
"Exactly! It's just hard sometimes. Anyway, it won't happen again."
"Ditto."
"...Unless you want it to," said Sirius, suavely.
"Shut up! Not after you made out with a Slytherin whore!"
Sirius laughed. "C'mon, let's go break up! I'm thinkin you should bitch- slap me or something."
"Are you shittin me? I getta smack you?"
"Sure, why not? I mean, I did cheat on you."
"Yeah, you deserve it!" agreed Raven. "So, we could just like walk out by them, arguing, and then I slap you, and it's all over?"
"Sounds good to me."
"Okay, let's go."
The two of them walked back out of the dressing room and started up an argument.
"No, I can never forgive you! Sirius, you fucking snogged another girl!"
"I did not! She kissed me, and it was only for five seconds, tops."
"You certainly seemed to be enjoying it!"
"Oh yeah! Yeah, Rave, I really enjoyed it! She is a hundred times better than you are!"
To everyone else's astonishment, she slapped him... way too hard, and her eyes widened with alarm.
Panic-stricken, she gasped, "Oh my God, I didn't mean to hit you that hard! Sirius, are you okay?"
"Jesus," he laughed, "I said you could slap me, I didn't say you could beat the shit outta me!"
"I just got overenthusiastic about getting to hit you! I'm sorry!"
"It's okay; I'm fine," he said and then realized that the shit had just hit the fan and added, "...but ya kinda blew our cover."
Raven and Sirius turned to look at James, Lily, Remus, and Peter, who were all very mixed-up. Suddenly, the two of them burst into laughter from the looks on their faces.
"Okay, what the hell is this?" asked James, dumbfounded.
"April Fool's!" said Sirius.
Raven hit him across the chest, "It's September."
"Well, you got somethin better than that?"
"Guys, what is going on?" asked James, louder.
"Well, Sirius had this idea. Since you guys wouldn't stop bugging us about liking each other, we thought we'd play this little practical joke on you," Raven explained.
"What?"
"We were never going out. It was all a scam to get you guys off our backs," added Sirius.
"You lied to us?" demanded James.
"Well, not exactly! I mean, we never really answered when you asked us if we were going out," Raven pointed out.
"So, the kiss after the date-" James began.
"Wasn't real. We planned it ahead of time," explained Raven.
"So, there was never another girl that Sirius kissed?" Lily asked.
"Well, that actually was kinda real. I went out with her last year," said Sirius.
James looked pissed, but everyone else seemed kind of relieved to have two of their best friends back without them fighting or snogging. Nevertheless, they all agreed never to bug Sirius and Raven about liking each other again! A/N: HOPE YOU LIKED IT. PLEASE REVIEW!
"Sirius, baby, is it really you?"
Sirius whipped around. "Eve? What the hell do you want?" he said shortly to the blond-haired girl wearing Slytherin robes.
"Just to have some fun," said Eve, eyeing him, suggestively. "I really miss being with you."
"With me? Things change, Eve," Sirius replied, uneasily, removing her hand from his face.
"What are you saying, Sirius?"
"I'm saying I've forgotten all about you," said Sirius, matter-of-factly.
"Oh really?" she said, lifting her eyebrows. "Did you forget this?" she said, putting her lips on his.
Sirius pushed her away, only to find Raven standing a few feet from them. Her mouth was open and she was shaking her head, trying to speak. She suddenly turned and started to run back up the staircase they were standing in the middle of.
"Rave! Wait!" said Sirius, bounding after her and leaving Eve to stare after them. "It's not what you think! She just-"
Raven had ordered Lucy to slam the portrait down in Sirius' face. "Raven, please! Listen to me, I went out with her last year. I broke up with her two weeks before school was out for the summer, I swear to God!"
Suddenly, Jonny Lang's "Lie to Me" came on from inside Raven's room. ("Lie to me, and tell me everything is alright. Lie to me, and tell me that you're stayin the night. Tell me that you'll never leave. Oh, I'm just tryin to make believe that everything your tellin me is true. C'mon, baby, won't you just lie to me. Go ahead, lie to me..." ) She turned her CD player up really loud to drown out Sirius as he was trying to explain. She didn't want to hear it. She thought maybe the words of the song would get her point across better than listening to his "lies."
"Sirius? What's going on?" James and Lily had come down the stairs and noticed him outside Raven's room.
Sirius ignored them and tried to yell over the music. "She doesn't mean anything to me! She just started kissing me, I don't even know how it happened. You hafta believe me! I..." Sirius trailed off, too tired from yelling and running up the stairs, and sank down to the floor.
"What happened, Sirius?" Lily and James asked in unison.
Sirius told them everything with "Lie to Me" still playing in the background.
"Let's just go downstairs and leave her alone." Eventually, James got Sirius to go down to the Great Hall and eat breakfast. "Okay, now when she comes down, no one say anything about what happened. Sirius, just don't say anything to her, okay? You're only gonna make things worse right now."
"I didn't mean to kiss her. She just grabbed me, okay?" Sirius had his face lying on the table.
"I know, but that doesn't matter to her right now. She saw you kissing another girl. Just trust me on this. I've known her my whole life."
"Shut up, here she comes," said Remus.
As Raven came into the Great Hall, Sirius raised his head from the table. She did not look over at them as she continued walking all the way up to the head table that ran perpendicular to the house tables. She spoke to Dumbledore for a few minutes and then turned and walked back down the row. As she walked by him, Sirius asked her if she wanted any bacon. Turning to look back at him, she gave him an icy stare, then continued to walk out of the Great Hall. No one saw her the rest of the day. At dinner they were all a little curious as to where she was.
"Where the hell is she? This is killing me!" said Sirius, with his head in his hands.
"Does she work tonight?" asked Peter.
"Yeah," said James.
"Well, we can definitely find her there. She always says dancing takes her mind off things," said Lily.
At ten o'clock, they wandered into the Forbidden Forest to find the portkey that would take them to the club. They saw no sign of Raven when they entered the club.
"Hey Xander, is Raven here?" James asked.
"Oh yeah, she's here. Been here all day long," Alexander answered.
"What for?" Sirius inquired.
"Practicing. Said she needed to run through a new song for tonight. Taught it to the band and everything a few hours ago."
"Thanks Jer," said James as Jeremiah continued backstage. "Sirius, you're in trouble," he added.
"Wonderful. Like my day could get any worse. I'm gonna kill that bitch!"
"Whoa, Sirius! You're talking about my best friend here!" said James, defensively.
"No, I'm not. I meant Eve, the girl she saw me kissing."
Three guys then came onto the stage and started plugging in instruments and testing the mikes. They began the song Raven had taught them earlier that day when Raven came out of the dressing room and met eyes with Sirius.
"Oh good, you're here. I didn't want you to miss your song," her smile was almost angelic.
"You know I wouldn't miss it for the world," he said.
Raven took the stage and began singing her song and also playing her guitar. "Our first date was our last date. You're the kinda guy that I love to hate. Now I don't want your eggs or bacon. And when I kissed you I was fakin. I gotta let you know that you hafta let me go. I thought you were the one, but, baby, you're no fun, and you're not the one. Not the one! Now, I don't wanna take you out anymore. I got your number, there's the door. There's somethin missin in your head. And I got no room for you in my bed. I gotta let you know that you hafta let me go. I thought you were the one, but, baby, you're no fun, and you're not the one. Not the one!" The song ended, and Raven went backstage. Sirius sighed and followed her.
"Can you just let me explain, please?" begged Sirius, taking hold of Raven and spinning her around to face him.
"You don't have to, really," she answered him, nonchalantly.
"Yeah, Rave, I do. I broke up with her before I left this summer. Apparently, she found me this morning and started putting moves on me again. I told her it was over, but she just started kissing me. I swear to God I didn't enjoy it."
"Sirius, I don't care if you enjoyed it... it was brilliant! How did you think of-"
"-But I didn't even know what was going on until... What?"
"Well, the scam, it was-"
"Fuck the scam! This is about the scam?" Sirius was very confused. "I thought it was real! I thought you really thought I was cheating on you. It looked real to me!"
"Of course it wasn't real," said Raven, weakly. "I just figured you thought it all up for the breakup."
"Okay. You really scared me, ya know? I mean, we fight all the time, but we've always just been joking. I thought I really messed up."
"You didn't do anything, unless you really wanted to kiss that girl."
"I told you I didn't."
"Not that it matters," said Raven, quickly.
"Yeah, but it did matter to me. I mean, I was really scared that I'd lost you even though I never really had you."
This statement was followed by a very awkward silence in which Sirius made a face that said, 'Why the hell did I say that?' which Raven noticed.
"Well, I guess my reaction was kinda real at first, too. But then I just decided to play it up since we were gonna break up today anyway."
"What do you mean it was real at first?"
"Like, when I saw you kissing her, I kinda forgot for a second that it was all just pretend, and I felt really hurt." Raven became nervous and started rambling, "So, I ran into my room cuz I didn't know why I was so jealous. And then I came to my senses, and decided it was a good way to break up, anyway."
"And why would you be jealous?" asked Sirius.
"I don't know, okay? God, I didn't wanna tell you this, cuz I knew then you'd get like that and think that I liked you for real or something."
"You do, don't you?" charmed Sirius.
Raven sighed and rolled her eyes. "I had a brief moment of feeling like I didn't possibly hate you, but it passed like, five minutes after it happened." Raven's face went pink, but she kept going. "Especially after you danced with me, ya know, to the Dirty Dancing song."
"Now you know how I felt when I kissed you after the song you did last night. I don't know, something just came over me, and I couldn't stop myself from kissing you."
"Yeah, well now I also know what you meant by not being able to control your tongue," Raven smiled.
"Exactly! It's just hard sometimes. Anyway, it won't happen again."
"Ditto."
"...Unless you want it to," said Sirius, suavely.
"Shut up! Not after you made out with a Slytherin whore!"
Sirius laughed. "C'mon, let's go break up! I'm thinkin you should bitch- slap me or something."
"Are you shittin me? I getta smack you?"
"Sure, why not? I mean, I did cheat on you."
"Yeah, you deserve it!" agreed Raven. "So, we could just like walk out by them, arguing, and then I slap you, and it's all over?"
"Sounds good to me."
"Okay, let's go."
The two of them walked back out of the dressing room and started up an argument.
"No, I can never forgive you! Sirius, you fucking snogged another girl!"
"I did not! She kissed me, and it was only for five seconds, tops."
"You certainly seemed to be enjoying it!"
"Oh yeah! Yeah, Rave, I really enjoyed it! She is a hundred times better than you are!"
To everyone else's astonishment, she slapped him... way too hard, and her eyes widened with alarm.
Panic-stricken, she gasped, "Oh my God, I didn't mean to hit you that hard! Sirius, are you okay?"
"Jesus," he laughed, "I said you could slap me, I didn't say you could beat the shit outta me!"
"I just got overenthusiastic about getting to hit you! I'm sorry!"
"It's okay; I'm fine," he said and then realized that the shit had just hit the fan and added, "...but ya kinda blew our cover."
Raven and Sirius turned to look at James, Lily, Remus, and Peter, who were all very mixed-up. Suddenly, the two of them burst into laughter from the looks on their faces.
"Okay, what the hell is this?" asked James, dumbfounded.
"April Fool's!" said Sirius.
Raven hit him across the chest, "It's September."
"Well, you got somethin better than that?"
"Guys, what is going on?" asked James, louder.
"Well, Sirius had this idea. Since you guys wouldn't stop bugging us about liking each other, we thought we'd play this little practical joke on you," Raven explained.
"What?"
"We were never going out. It was all a scam to get you guys off our backs," added Sirius.
"You lied to us?" demanded James.
"Well, not exactly! I mean, we never really answered when you asked us if we were going out," Raven pointed out.
"So, the kiss after the date-" James began.
"Wasn't real. We planned it ahead of time," explained Raven.
"So, there was never another girl that Sirius kissed?" Lily asked.
"Well, that actually was kinda real. I went out with her last year," said Sirius.
James looked pissed, but everyone else seemed kind of relieved to have two of their best friends back without them fighting or snogging. Nevertheless, they all agreed never to bug Sirius and Raven about liking each other again! A/N: HOPE YOU LIKED IT. PLEASE REVIEW!