Marauder Mayhem
Songs: There aren't any songs in this chapter, but a good one would be "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred, hehe.
Disclaimer: Yeah, I obviously don't own any HP stuff. You all know that cuz you're not stupid, and even if ya are, it's okay! However, I do own Raven McKinnon and a few other made up characters along the way.
Chapter 11 - September 29th
"The game is Quiddich, kids...strip Quiddich. The rules are simple: three on three, the team that is scored on has to take off an article of clothing until...there isn't anything else to take off." Sirius grinned briefly and winked at Raven and Lily as they stood on the Quiddich pitch in their pajamas with their hands on their hips. "There's no snitch or seaker, no bludgers or beaters. One person from each team has to be the goalie unless you want your ass kicked."
Raven leaned over and spoke out of the corner of her mouth to Lily, "I picked a bad night not to wear a bra to bed."
Lily's eyes darted around her for any sign of a teacher. "I'm more worried about getting caught outside."
Sirius continued, "We'll play four goals wins. Four goals, four articles of clothing. For guys, it's robes, shirts, pajama pants and boxers. For girls, it's shirts, bras, pajama pants, and underwear."
Raven made a sound and raised her hand.
Sirius stopped. "Yes, Ms. McKinnon?" he played the role of teacher.
"What if we don't...have..." she couldn't find the words, but Sirius knew what she meant. His eyes darted to her chest and she quickly crossed her arms in front of her. "Maybe you should have planned this a little better."
"You sleep in a sweatshirt?" he asked her.
"No," Raven gritted her teeth. "I have a tank top under this, but it's white and it's about to rain."
A smile slowly crept along Sirius' face. "So then for girls, it's shirts, skivvies, pants, and underwear."
"Boxers," she corrected him.
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Raven, you take all the fun outta life. Aren't you girls supposed to wear some cute little bra with matching underwear to bed?"
"All the girls you've dated must have been secretly hookers," snapped Raven.
"The point is," said James, before Sirius could answer Raven, "everyone has to be wearing only four pieces of clothing. Are we covered? There are three of us who play on the house team, so we need to split up."
Lily immediately clung to James' arm, knowing that since he actually played a chaser, she would have a better chance of staying dry if she was on his team.
"What do you say, Rave? Would you rather get naked with me or for me?"
"Padfoot, don't be such a prick!" shouted James. He could see that Raven had about had it.
"I'd rather distract you from the game," she replied, putting her arms around Remus' and Peter's heads and forcing them down into a huddle. "Guys, if Sirius' sees me naked it's gonna haunt me for the rest of my life, so we gotta win, okay?"
"No problem, Minx. Just tell us what a quaffle is and we'll be all set," teased Remus.
Raven rolled her eyes. "Please don't joke about something so serious."
"Wow, you've really got him on the brain, haven't you?" Remus smiled at her.
"Yeah, cuz I wanna kick his ass! Now, I have a plan..."
As Raven started telling Remus and Peter, "The Plan," and Sirius, James, and Lily went over their game stradegies, it began to rain. Raven looked over at Sirius who winked at her. She held up her middle finger and kissed it. Then she extended her hand, blowing him a kiss. Sirius made a motion to "catch the kiss" and then put it in his pocket.
Remus decided he'd be keeper for Raven and Peter while Lily was forced to be keeper for Sirius and James. Raven started out with the quaffle and threw it to Peter, who dropped it. Raven turned to roll her eyes at Remus while Sirius scooped it up and threw it to James. James expertly dodged through the air as if there were bludgers coming at him and threw the quaffle towards the goal. Remus caught it before it went through the hoops and threw it to Raven. Raven caught it and sped off toward Lily. Sirius cut her off halfway down the field and flew backwards, facing her. Raven moved to the left and Sirius moved to his right. She moved to her right, and he blocked her moving to his left. She moved to the left again and just as Sirius followed she went into a deep dive underneath him. She came back up from the dive so fast that Lily wasn't ready and the quaffle went through the middle hoop.
"Yow!" yelled Remus from the other end of the field. "Gotta watch out for those seeker moves, Sirius." Peter and Raven joined Remus in laughing and Sirius shook his head and shrugged off his robe. James did the same, and then he turned to watch Lily. She lifted her sweatshirt over her head only to reveal a dark blue t-shirt. James sighed.
Lily threw the quaffle to James and he sped right past Raven, who had just finished clapping hands with Peter. She turned around to fly after him. She was coming up on his tail when Sirius bumped into her from the side. They flew together for awhile and when Raven tried to speed up, Sirius grabbed the end of her broom and held her back.
Raven looked back and him as James scored a goal. "You prick. You wanna play hardball? I'm game."
Sirius mimicked her in a female voice, "You wanna play hardball? I'm game." He returned to his normal voice, "Now strip!"
Remus and Peter gave their robes to Raven and she landed to set them on the ground. Sirius was busy watching her slide off her pajama pants as Remus gave Peter the quaffle.
"Sirius, get in the damn game!" yelled James as he chased after Peter.
Sirius shook his head as Raven got back onto her broom and rose to the air in her light purple boxers. The storm picked up and it started to thunder as well as rain heavily. Sirius turned around and went after Peter but Raven called after him.
"Hey Sirius..." Sirius turned to look at her. Raven lifted up her sweatshirt to distract him as Peter threw the quaffle at the hoops.
"That is so not fair! Interference!" he screamed at her.
Raven rolled her eyes. "Take a penalty shot if you can't handle it."
"Padfoot, they didn't score anyway," said James.
Sirius looked back to see Lily holding the quaffle.
There was a crack of thunder and the six of them jumped. "Um...should we be playing in this weather?" asked Peter.
3333333333333333333
Albus Dumbledore leaned forward on his fists and spoke quite calmly, "And how exactly does one play strip Quiddich?"
The six of them immediately looked at the ground. They were all in folding chairs scattered in a circle around the headmaster's desk and soaking wet. James, on the far right, was grasping Lily's hand. Lily sat next to him shivering from her damp clothes and shaking nervously. Peter sat next to Lily, clutching his cloak around his naked upper body and blowing his nose into it. Sirius came next, wearing a mischievous smirk that was directed towards Raven. Raven wore only purple boxer shorts and a white, sodden tank top, but Sirius had taken his sopping wet cloak and draped it around her shoulders. Remus sat, bare chested, on the far left with his own cloak drawn around him.
Sirius decided to break the silence. "Well, Professor, it's played exactly the same as regular Quiddich only...you strip when the other team scores a goal," he supplied bluntly.
"Ah," said the headmaster, nodding his head. "Can it only be played at two o'clock in the morning in the middle of a thunderstorm?"
"Um...no, it can be played anytime," responded Sirius, conversationally.
"Sirius, just shut up!" said Lily, glancing nervously at Dumbledore. He was only making things worse.
"Look, Professor," tried Raven, "it was a dare. Sirius dared James, but they needed more players, and then...and then..." she trailed off as she noticed him looking intently at her, as if he were reading her mind.
Dumbledore directed his gaze now to James and Lily. "And what do our Head Girl and Boy have to say about this?"
All of the blood rushed to Lily's face and she squeezed James' hand. James answered for her. "It won't happen again, Professor."
"I see. Well I would imagine you'll all want to get into some dry pajamas after your hot cocoa." He waved his wand and six steaming cups of hot chocolate materialized before them. "You may report back here tomorrow night for your detention."
One by one, the six of them took a mug and filed wordlessly out of his office.
On their way back up to Gryffindor Tower, Sirius broke the silence. "So we're taking a raincheck then?" he nudged Raven playfully in the ribs.
"Yeah, maybe we can have *fair* teams next time?" retorted Raven, sipping her hot cocoa.
"There isn't gonna be a next time you two. We'd definitely get expelled if he caught us out there again," said Lily.
Sirius rolled his eyes and downed his hot chocolate.
"It'll be okay, Lily," said James as they came to the girls' dormitory. Lily gave him a weak smile and disappeared through the oak door.
"Night, Rave," said the four guys in unison as she tapped the wall by the fireplace and Lucy's portrait appeared.
The portrait slid up. "Night."
The guys continued up the stairs to their dorm. "Dammit, Moony! Did you hafta call the game right at that second? One more goal and Rave would have been down to her skivvies!"
"Yes, Padfoot, I had to. The storm was getting worse. Can you imagine what a little electroshock therapy would have done for your libido?" Remus responded, smirking along with James and Peter.
Sirius snorted. "Hot to trot!"
"Yeah, the next girl that took him on would light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars!" laughed James.
The four of them laughed loudly, but quieted when they came to their dorm so they wouldn't disturb their fellow Gryffindors. They changed into dry pajamas in silence and fell into their beds.
A/N: HOPE YOU LIKE THIS CHAPTER, IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITES. PLEASE REVIEW!
Songs: There aren't any songs in this chapter, but a good one would be "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred, hehe.
Disclaimer: Yeah, I obviously don't own any HP stuff. You all know that cuz you're not stupid, and even if ya are, it's okay! However, I do own Raven McKinnon and a few other made up characters along the way.
Chapter 11 - September 29th
"The game is Quiddich, kids...strip Quiddich. The rules are simple: three on three, the team that is scored on has to take off an article of clothing until...there isn't anything else to take off." Sirius grinned briefly and winked at Raven and Lily as they stood on the Quiddich pitch in their pajamas with their hands on their hips. "There's no snitch or seaker, no bludgers or beaters. One person from each team has to be the goalie unless you want your ass kicked."
Raven leaned over and spoke out of the corner of her mouth to Lily, "I picked a bad night not to wear a bra to bed."
Lily's eyes darted around her for any sign of a teacher. "I'm more worried about getting caught outside."
Sirius continued, "We'll play four goals wins. Four goals, four articles of clothing. For guys, it's robes, shirts, pajama pants and boxers. For girls, it's shirts, bras, pajama pants, and underwear."
Raven made a sound and raised her hand.
Sirius stopped. "Yes, Ms. McKinnon?" he played the role of teacher.
"What if we don't...have..." she couldn't find the words, but Sirius knew what she meant. His eyes darted to her chest and she quickly crossed her arms in front of her. "Maybe you should have planned this a little better."
"You sleep in a sweatshirt?" he asked her.
"No," Raven gritted her teeth. "I have a tank top under this, but it's white and it's about to rain."
A smile slowly crept along Sirius' face. "So then for girls, it's shirts, skivvies, pants, and underwear."
"Boxers," she corrected him.
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Raven, you take all the fun outta life. Aren't you girls supposed to wear some cute little bra with matching underwear to bed?"
"All the girls you've dated must have been secretly hookers," snapped Raven.
"The point is," said James, before Sirius could answer Raven, "everyone has to be wearing only four pieces of clothing. Are we covered? There are three of us who play on the house team, so we need to split up."
Lily immediately clung to James' arm, knowing that since he actually played a chaser, she would have a better chance of staying dry if she was on his team.
"What do you say, Rave? Would you rather get naked with me or for me?"
"Padfoot, don't be such a prick!" shouted James. He could see that Raven had about had it.
"I'd rather distract you from the game," she replied, putting her arms around Remus' and Peter's heads and forcing them down into a huddle. "Guys, if Sirius' sees me naked it's gonna haunt me for the rest of my life, so we gotta win, okay?"
"No problem, Minx. Just tell us what a quaffle is and we'll be all set," teased Remus.
Raven rolled her eyes. "Please don't joke about something so serious."
"Wow, you've really got him on the brain, haven't you?" Remus smiled at her.
"Yeah, cuz I wanna kick his ass! Now, I have a plan..."
As Raven started telling Remus and Peter, "The Plan," and Sirius, James, and Lily went over their game stradegies, it began to rain. Raven looked over at Sirius who winked at her. She held up her middle finger and kissed it. Then she extended her hand, blowing him a kiss. Sirius made a motion to "catch the kiss" and then put it in his pocket.
Remus decided he'd be keeper for Raven and Peter while Lily was forced to be keeper for Sirius and James. Raven started out with the quaffle and threw it to Peter, who dropped it. Raven turned to roll her eyes at Remus while Sirius scooped it up and threw it to James. James expertly dodged through the air as if there were bludgers coming at him and threw the quaffle towards the goal. Remus caught it before it went through the hoops and threw it to Raven. Raven caught it and sped off toward Lily. Sirius cut her off halfway down the field and flew backwards, facing her. Raven moved to the left and Sirius moved to his right. She moved to her right, and he blocked her moving to his left. She moved to the left again and just as Sirius followed she went into a deep dive underneath him. She came back up from the dive so fast that Lily wasn't ready and the quaffle went through the middle hoop.
"Yow!" yelled Remus from the other end of the field. "Gotta watch out for those seeker moves, Sirius." Peter and Raven joined Remus in laughing and Sirius shook his head and shrugged off his robe. James did the same, and then he turned to watch Lily. She lifted her sweatshirt over her head only to reveal a dark blue t-shirt. James sighed.
Lily threw the quaffle to James and he sped right past Raven, who had just finished clapping hands with Peter. She turned around to fly after him. She was coming up on his tail when Sirius bumped into her from the side. They flew together for awhile and when Raven tried to speed up, Sirius grabbed the end of her broom and held her back.
Raven looked back and him as James scored a goal. "You prick. You wanna play hardball? I'm game."
Sirius mimicked her in a female voice, "You wanna play hardball? I'm game." He returned to his normal voice, "Now strip!"
Remus and Peter gave their robes to Raven and she landed to set them on the ground. Sirius was busy watching her slide off her pajama pants as Remus gave Peter the quaffle.
"Sirius, get in the damn game!" yelled James as he chased after Peter.
Sirius shook his head as Raven got back onto her broom and rose to the air in her light purple boxers. The storm picked up and it started to thunder as well as rain heavily. Sirius turned around and went after Peter but Raven called after him.
"Hey Sirius..." Sirius turned to look at her. Raven lifted up her sweatshirt to distract him as Peter threw the quaffle at the hoops.
"That is so not fair! Interference!" he screamed at her.
Raven rolled her eyes. "Take a penalty shot if you can't handle it."
"Padfoot, they didn't score anyway," said James.
Sirius looked back to see Lily holding the quaffle.
There was a crack of thunder and the six of them jumped. "Um...should we be playing in this weather?" asked Peter.
3333333333333333333
Albus Dumbledore leaned forward on his fists and spoke quite calmly, "And how exactly does one play strip Quiddich?"
The six of them immediately looked at the ground. They were all in folding chairs scattered in a circle around the headmaster's desk and soaking wet. James, on the far right, was grasping Lily's hand. Lily sat next to him shivering from her damp clothes and shaking nervously. Peter sat next to Lily, clutching his cloak around his naked upper body and blowing his nose into it. Sirius came next, wearing a mischievous smirk that was directed towards Raven. Raven wore only purple boxer shorts and a white, sodden tank top, but Sirius had taken his sopping wet cloak and draped it around her shoulders. Remus sat, bare chested, on the far left with his own cloak drawn around him.
Sirius decided to break the silence. "Well, Professor, it's played exactly the same as regular Quiddich only...you strip when the other team scores a goal," he supplied bluntly.
"Ah," said the headmaster, nodding his head. "Can it only be played at two o'clock in the morning in the middle of a thunderstorm?"
"Um...no, it can be played anytime," responded Sirius, conversationally.
"Sirius, just shut up!" said Lily, glancing nervously at Dumbledore. He was only making things worse.
"Look, Professor," tried Raven, "it was a dare. Sirius dared James, but they needed more players, and then...and then..." she trailed off as she noticed him looking intently at her, as if he were reading her mind.
Dumbledore directed his gaze now to James and Lily. "And what do our Head Girl and Boy have to say about this?"
All of the blood rushed to Lily's face and she squeezed James' hand. James answered for her. "It won't happen again, Professor."
"I see. Well I would imagine you'll all want to get into some dry pajamas after your hot cocoa." He waved his wand and six steaming cups of hot chocolate materialized before them. "You may report back here tomorrow night for your detention."
One by one, the six of them took a mug and filed wordlessly out of his office.
On their way back up to Gryffindor Tower, Sirius broke the silence. "So we're taking a raincheck then?" he nudged Raven playfully in the ribs.
"Yeah, maybe we can have *fair* teams next time?" retorted Raven, sipping her hot cocoa.
"There isn't gonna be a next time you two. We'd definitely get expelled if he caught us out there again," said Lily.
Sirius rolled his eyes and downed his hot chocolate.
"It'll be okay, Lily," said James as they came to the girls' dormitory. Lily gave him a weak smile and disappeared through the oak door.
"Night, Rave," said the four guys in unison as she tapped the wall by the fireplace and Lucy's portrait appeared.
The portrait slid up. "Night."
The guys continued up the stairs to their dorm. "Dammit, Moony! Did you hafta call the game right at that second? One more goal and Rave would have been down to her skivvies!"
"Yes, Padfoot, I had to. The storm was getting worse. Can you imagine what a little electroshock therapy would have done for your libido?" Remus responded, smirking along with James and Peter.
Sirius snorted. "Hot to trot!"
"Yeah, the next girl that took him on would light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars!" laughed James.
The four of them laughed loudly, but quieted when they came to their dorm so they wouldn't disturb their fellow Gryffindors. They changed into dry pajamas in silence and fell into their beds.
A/N: HOPE YOU LIKE THIS CHAPTER, IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITES. PLEASE REVIEW!