Marauder Mayhem
A/N: For those of you who don't want to bother emailing me to get Chapter 11, what basically happened is they went out to play strip Quiddich, they got caught, and all had to serve detention.
Disclaimer: Yeah, I obviously don't own any HP stuff. You all know that cuz you're not stupid, and even if ya are, it's okay! However, I do own Raven McKinnon and a few other made up characters along the way.
Chapter 12 - October 2nd
Lily and all the Marauders had to serve detention on the last night of September for their little nighttime strip Quiddich game, but they thought it was worth it. James, Sirius, and Raven really did need to practice, as the Quiddich season officially started the next day and Wood would be on their asses about practicing every five seconds. Everyone in the school found out about their strip Quiddich game and they all, even Peter, instantly became a legacy. People would stop them in the halls and ask them the rules.
"Now don't go thinking that we're going to turn every practice into Strip Quiddich, Black!" said Wood at their first team practice as he was welcoming Raven to the team.
"Well, of course not every one, Justin." replied Sirius.
"Not any of them!" yelled Wood. "That is, unless we win the cup. Then, you're free to do whatever the hell you want."
"Well, thank you."
"Alright, men!"
James cleared his throat.
"And Raven," Justin added, quickly. "Let's get to it!"
After two hours of practice, they were all beat. They trudged up to Gryffindor Tower and plopped down on the floor in front of the fireplace, next to Remus and Peter.
"Where's Lily?" asked James, looking around the common room.
"Head Girl duties," said Remus. "Aren't you supposed to be-"
"Oh fuck!" said James, getting up again and running out of the portrait. Lily and James had been made Head Boy and Girl after the first few weeks of school because the had the highest grades in their previous years.
"Tell me again why he's head boy," said Sirius.
"Cuz he can kiss ass," said Raven
"So can I," justified Sirius.
"Yeah, but you're stupid," she stated.
"Oh yeah..." he replied, lightly punching her arm.
"Oh Justin, Black just hit my snitch arm," whined Raven.
"What?" said Wood, throwing a roll of parchment at Sirius.
"I can't take this abuse!" said Sirius, getting up and walking up to the boys' dormitories.
"What a wimp!" said Remus, jokingly.
"Gotta love him," said Raven.
"Okay, speak for yourself, Ray!" said Remus.
"You think I'd speak for you? I don't even know your language!" she said. "You're not suggesting that I mean-"
"No! No, no, no! I wouldn't dream of accusing you of liking each other again! I don't wanna get scammed!"
"Good!"
Sirius came running back down the stairs and sat down unnecessarily close to Raven, though she didn't even acknowledge his presence.
"Yes, I'm back."
"So I smell."
"That's my shaving cream! Wanna feel a real clean, close shave?" he said, taking her hand and bringing it up to his cheek.
"I'll pass," she jerked her hand back. "Couldn't find anyone else to bug, huh?"
"C'mon, you know you're the one I wanna bug!" he said, prodding her in the back.
Raven rolled her eyes and arched her back from the prod. "I'm so bored."
"Let's pretend we're going out again," said Sirius.
"Why?"
"It would give us something to do, wouldn't it?"
"So go out with Peter."
Sirius scrunched up his face at the thought. "Why don't you? In fact, Remus would be even better! You've already done a vampire and a pirate! Why not a w-"
Remus kicked him, sharply. He looked quickly at Raven and saw that she must not have heard him.
"Like you should talk, Sirius. Rumor has it you were quite the womanizer last year," baited Raven.
"Alright, which one of you told?" asked Sirius, looking from Remus to Peter.
"They both did; are you gonna deny it?" she asked.
"Hell no, I'm proud of it!" Sirius responded.
"Then why didn't you want me to know?"
"Cuz I knew you'd give me shit."
"Why would you think that?" questioned Raven, innocently.
"Cuz you give me shit about everything."
Raven opened her mouth to disagree but Sirius pointed his finger at her and she closed it.
"You know you do. I think you rather like it," he said.
"Why would you be proud of something like that?" she questioned.
"I'm not. I was back then. I don't know; I guess I'm different now."
"How so?"
"Maybe meeting you changed me," suggested Sirius.
"What does that mean?" Raven thought for a minute. "Oh, you're gay!"
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah. Yeah, the gayest!"
"So that's why you hit on me so much! See, I thought it was because you were in love with me."
"Yeah, I get that a lot. But it's all an act, ya know," Sirius looked over at Remus who was sitting there with a pained expression on his face. Sirius nodded and winked at him. "Hey, Moon," he said, raising his eyebrows, "you know what I'm talkin about."
Remus pretended to gag and threw a quill at him, but Sirius ducked and it hit Peter instead. Peter let out a yelp and looked over by a group of 5th years for the culprit.
Remus chuckled and then turned back to Sirius. "I might actually believe you, Padfoot. You haven't had a girlfriend since last year, as far as I know. And let's face it, you could have any girl in this school."
Sirius chomped on his gum, loudly, and replied in a feminine voice, "Like, oh my God, Moony, that is so sweet of you to say!"
"Almost," said Raven.
"Almost what?" asked Sirius forgetting the gay voice.
"Almost any girl in this school."
"Like I'd want you anyway!" he retorted.
"I was talking about Lily. She's obviously got it for James," said Raven.
"Ya think? Have they even kissed yet?" he asked.
"Yeah, for like two seconds," said Raven.
"Is she a prude?"
"Excuse me! She's my best friend! She's just not that experienced when it comes to guys."
"Poor James," said Sirius, coldly.
"You're such a prick!"
"Really, Sirius, he's gotten more than you!" defended Peter, getting back in the conversation.
"No he hasn't!" yelled Sirius. "At least I got tongue."
Remus widened his eyes and turned to Raven. "Rave, anything you'd care to share?"
"What are you looking at me like that for? We pretended to go out; we had to kiss!"
"You didn't have to give him tongue!" he said.
"Tell him that! He's the one who stuck his tongue down my throat just because he knew he could get away with it! What was I supposed to do? I wanted to knock him out, but that would have blown the scam!"
Sirius was laughing. "Padfoot, you're the devil!" said Remus.
Sirius returned to his gay voice, "Turns you on, doesn't it?"
Remus screwed up his face and gave him the finger.
"God, you're disgusting, Sirius!"
"What? Maybe if some of these girls think I like guys, they'll stop followin me around everywhere!"
"Nah, then they'd just be followin you around for make-up tips!" said Raven.
"And I would say, 'None!' Make-up's gross," Sirius said.
"Oh, that's why you dated Eve?" accused Raven.
"Good point," said Sirius, gagging. "You don't wear any."
"Do too. You just can't tell."
"What do you wear then?"
"Mascara... And lip gloss, if that counts."
"Yeah, but that's not like gross make-up. I meant like schalack all over your face."
"Schalack?" Raven asked.
"Yeah. Like one of my old girlfriends used to take like two hours just to put on her make-up with this little tiny brush. I'm like, 'Get a roller; let's go!'"
Remus and Raven started laughing. "Hey, don't you wear make-up at the club?" asked Remus.
"Oh yeah. But we have to. It's just so our features stand out better onstage."
"God, I'm bored. When's the next full moon?" asked Sirius, offhandedly.
Remus shot him a look and quickly kicked him. Raven became suddenly alert.
She began to smile, looking from Remus to Sirius. "I think it's on Wednesday, that sound right, Moony?"
Remus just stared at her, trying to read her mind.
"Why do they call you Moony, anyway?" she asked, slyly.
Remus stared into her eyes. "How long have you known?"
Raven laughed. "Since the day I met you when we were fourteen."
"What?" Remus was confused.
"I came over to James' looking for him and you were there. Jay said there was a boggart in the basement storage room and he wanted to have some fun, remember?"
Comprehension dawned on him. "Shit. You knew all this time? Why didn't you say anything?"
"Why didn't you just tell me?"
"It's complicated, Raven. I was bitten when I was really little, and every friend I had before these guys, I lost when I told them what I was. I didn't want to lose you."
"How could you think I would be like that? Don't you know me at all? I would never disown my friends for anything."
"I know, Raven. I just didn't know how to tell you. I knew you'd figure it out, eventually. If these gits can," he waved a hand at Sirius and Peter, "I knew you could."
Sirius gave him the finger. Raven turned to him. "So what's your excuse, Padfoot?"
"What are you talking about?" he asked her.
"Why do they call you Padfoot?"
"Cuz I have a big black dog at home and it's the only thing I actually like in that house."
Raven stared at him and then shrugged. "Okay, sure, whatever."
Sirius was thankful she didn't start hounding him with questions. "So what are we gonna do? I'm bored! Raven, what are we gonna do?"
"Why are you asking me?"
"Well, what do you do when you're bored?"
"Write songs about how boring it is," joked Raven.
"Hey, yeah! Let's write a song!" exclaimed Sirius.
"What?"
"Well, about us! Like a Marauder theme song!" he explained.
"Okay," Raven picked up the parchment that Wood had thrown at Sirius. "Accio quill!" she said as the quill that had hit Peter zoomed to her hand. She handed them both to Sirius. "Here, get writing."
"Me? I can't write! You!" he said, pushing the quill and paper back at her.
"How would that make you not bored?"
"Well, I'm gonna watch and criticize!"
"Like hell you are! You can help me. It's not that hard to write a song! How are your rhyming skills? Boy?"
"Girl."
"I SAID RHYMING, NOT WORD ASSOCIATION! For example, toy and boy rhyme."
"Oh, okay I get it! Give me another one!" said Sirius.
"Git," Raven muttered under her breath.
"Tit!"
"Sirius! That wasn't the word! We aren't gonna write a song about tits!"
"Well, why the hell not?" he cried.
"I thought you were gay, Padfoot," Remus chided.
"You wish!" he replied.
And so Raven tried to help Sirius write a song about the Marauders.
A/N: HOPE YOU LIKED IT. PLEASE REVIEW!
A/N: For those of you who don't want to bother emailing me to get Chapter 11, what basically happened is they went out to play strip Quiddich, they got caught, and all had to serve detention.
Disclaimer: Yeah, I obviously don't own any HP stuff. You all know that cuz you're not stupid, and even if ya are, it's okay! However, I do own Raven McKinnon and a few other made up characters along the way.
Chapter 12 - October 2nd
Lily and all the Marauders had to serve detention on the last night of September for their little nighttime strip Quiddich game, but they thought it was worth it. James, Sirius, and Raven really did need to practice, as the Quiddich season officially started the next day and Wood would be on their asses about practicing every five seconds. Everyone in the school found out about their strip Quiddich game and they all, even Peter, instantly became a legacy. People would stop them in the halls and ask them the rules.
"Now don't go thinking that we're going to turn every practice into Strip Quiddich, Black!" said Wood at their first team practice as he was welcoming Raven to the team.
"Well, of course not every one, Justin." replied Sirius.
"Not any of them!" yelled Wood. "That is, unless we win the cup. Then, you're free to do whatever the hell you want."
"Well, thank you."
"Alright, men!"
James cleared his throat.
"And Raven," Justin added, quickly. "Let's get to it!"
After two hours of practice, they were all beat. They trudged up to Gryffindor Tower and plopped down on the floor in front of the fireplace, next to Remus and Peter.
"Where's Lily?" asked James, looking around the common room.
"Head Girl duties," said Remus. "Aren't you supposed to be-"
"Oh fuck!" said James, getting up again and running out of the portrait. Lily and James had been made Head Boy and Girl after the first few weeks of school because the had the highest grades in their previous years.
"Tell me again why he's head boy," said Sirius.
"Cuz he can kiss ass," said Raven
"So can I," justified Sirius.
"Yeah, but you're stupid," she stated.
"Oh yeah..." he replied, lightly punching her arm.
"Oh Justin, Black just hit my snitch arm," whined Raven.
"What?" said Wood, throwing a roll of parchment at Sirius.
"I can't take this abuse!" said Sirius, getting up and walking up to the boys' dormitories.
"What a wimp!" said Remus, jokingly.
"Gotta love him," said Raven.
"Okay, speak for yourself, Ray!" said Remus.
"You think I'd speak for you? I don't even know your language!" she said. "You're not suggesting that I mean-"
"No! No, no, no! I wouldn't dream of accusing you of liking each other again! I don't wanna get scammed!"
"Good!"
Sirius came running back down the stairs and sat down unnecessarily close to Raven, though she didn't even acknowledge his presence.
"Yes, I'm back."
"So I smell."
"That's my shaving cream! Wanna feel a real clean, close shave?" he said, taking her hand and bringing it up to his cheek.
"I'll pass," she jerked her hand back. "Couldn't find anyone else to bug, huh?"
"C'mon, you know you're the one I wanna bug!" he said, prodding her in the back.
Raven rolled her eyes and arched her back from the prod. "I'm so bored."
"Let's pretend we're going out again," said Sirius.
"Why?"
"It would give us something to do, wouldn't it?"
"So go out with Peter."
Sirius scrunched up his face at the thought. "Why don't you? In fact, Remus would be even better! You've already done a vampire and a pirate! Why not a w-"
Remus kicked him, sharply. He looked quickly at Raven and saw that she must not have heard him.
"Like you should talk, Sirius. Rumor has it you were quite the womanizer last year," baited Raven.
"Alright, which one of you told?" asked Sirius, looking from Remus to Peter.
"They both did; are you gonna deny it?" she asked.
"Hell no, I'm proud of it!" Sirius responded.
"Then why didn't you want me to know?"
"Cuz I knew you'd give me shit."
"Why would you think that?" questioned Raven, innocently.
"Cuz you give me shit about everything."
Raven opened her mouth to disagree but Sirius pointed his finger at her and she closed it.
"You know you do. I think you rather like it," he said.
"Why would you be proud of something like that?" she questioned.
"I'm not. I was back then. I don't know; I guess I'm different now."
"How so?"
"Maybe meeting you changed me," suggested Sirius.
"What does that mean?" Raven thought for a minute. "Oh, you're gay!"
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah. Yeah, the gayest!"
"So that's why you hit on me so much! See, I thought it was because you were in love with me."
"Yeah, I get that a lot. But it's all an act, ya know," Sirius looked over at Remus who was sitting there with a pained expression on his face. Sirius nodded and winked at him. "Hey, Moon," he said, raising his eyebrows, "you know what I'm talkin about."
Remus pretended to gag and threw a quill at him, but Sirius ducked and it hit Peter instead. Peter let out a yelp and looked over by a group of 5th years for the culprit.
Remus chuckled and then turned back to Sirius. "I might actually believe you, Padfoot. You haven't had a girlfriend since last year, as far as I know. And let's face it, you could have any girl in this school."
Sirius chomped on his gum, loudly, and replied in a feminine voice, "Like, oh my God, Moony, that is so sweet of you to say!"
"Almost," said Raven.
"Almost what?" asked Sirius forgetting the gay voice.
"Almost any girl in this school."
"Like I'd want you anyway!" he retorted.
"I was talking about Lily. She's obviously got it for James," said Raven.
"Ya think? Have they even kissed yet?" he asked.
"Yeah, for like two seconds," said Raven.
"Is she a prude?"
"Excuse me! She's my best friend! She's just not that experienced when it comes to guys."
"Poor James," said Sirius, coldly.
"You're such a prick!"
"Really, Sirius, he's gotten more than you!" defended Peter, getting back in the conversation.
"No he hasn't!" yelled Sirius. "At least I got tongue."
Remus widened his eyes and turned to Raven. "Rave, anything you'd care to share?"
"What are you looking at me like that for? We pretended to go out; we had to kiss!"
"You didn't have to give him tongue!" he said.
"Tell him that! He's the one who stuck his tongue down my throat just because he knew he could get away with it! What was I supposed to do? I wanted to knock him out, but that would have blown the scam!"
Sirius was laughing. "Padfoot, you're the devil!" said Remus.
Sirius returned to his gay voice, "Turns you on, doesn't it?"
Remus screwed up his face and gave him the finger.
"God, you're disgusting, Sirius!"
"What? Maybe if some of these girls think I like guys, they'll stop followin me around everywhere!"
"Nah, then they'd just be followin you around for make-up tips!" said Raven.
"And I would say, 'None!' Make-up's gross," Sirius said.
"Oh, that's why you dated Eve?" accused Raven.
"Good point," said Sirius, gagging. "You don't wear any."
"Do too. You just can't tell."
"What do you wear then?"
"Mascara... And lip gloss, if that counts."
"Yeah, but that's not like gross make-up. I meant like schalack all over your face."
"Schalack?" Raven asked.
"Yeah. Like one of my old girlfriends used to take like two hours just to put on her make-up with this little tiny brush. I'm like, 'Get a roller; let's go!'"
Remus and Raven started laughing. "Hey, don't you wear make-up at the club?" asked Remus.
"Oh yeah. But we have to. It's just so our features stand out better onstage."
"God, I'm bored. When's the next full moon?" asked Sirius, offhandedly.
Remus shot him a look and quickly kicked him. Raven became suddenly alert.
She began to smile, looking from Remus to Sirius. "I think it's on Wednesday, that sound right, Moony?"
Remus just stared at her, trying to read her mind.
"Why do they call you Moony, anyway?" she asked, slyly.
Remus stared into her eyes. "How long have you known?"
Raven laughed. "Since the day I met you when we were fourteen."
"What?" Remus was confused.
"I came over to James' looking for him and you were there. Jay said there was a boggart in the basement storage room and he wanted to have some fun, remember?"
Comprehension dawned on him. "Shit. You knew all this time? Why didn't you say anything?"
"Why didn't you just tell me?"
"It's complicated, Raven. I was bitten when I was really little, and every friend I had before these guys, I lost when I told them what I was. I didn't want to lose you."
"How could you think I would be like that? Don't you know me at all? I would never disown my friends for anything."
"I know, Raven. I just didn't know how to tell you. I knew you'd figure it out, eventually. If these gits can," he waved a hand at Sirius and Peter, "I knew you could."
Sirius gave him the finger. Raven turned to him. "So what's your excuse, Padfoot?"
"What are you talking about?" he asked her.
"Why do they call you Padfoot?"
"Cuz I have a big black dog at home and it's the only thing I actually like in that house."
Raven stared at him and then shrugged. "Okay, sure, whatever."
Sirius was thankful she didn't start hounding him with questions. "So what are we gonna do? I'm bored! Raven, what are we gonna do?"
"Why are you asking me?"
"Well, what do you do when you're bored?"
"Write songs about how boring it is," joked Raven.
"Hey, yeah! Let's write a song!" exclaimed Sirius.
"What?"
"Well, about us! Like a Marauder theme song!" he explained.
"Okay," Raven picked up the parchment that Wood had thrown at Sirius. "Accio quill!" she said as the quill that had hit Peter zoomed to her hand. She handed them both to Sirius. "Here, get writing."
"Me? I can't write! You!" he said, pushing the quill and paper back at her.
"How would that make you not bored?"
"Well, I'm gonna watch and criticize!"
"Like hell you are! You can help me. It's not that hard to write a song! How are your rhyming skills? Boy?"
"Girl."
"I SAID RHYMING, NOT WORD ASSOCIATION! For example, toy and boy rhyme."
"Oh, okay I get it! Give me another one!" said Sirius.
"Git," Raven muttered under her breath.
"Tit!"
"Sirius! That wasn't the word! We aren't gonna write a song about tits!"
"Well, why the hell not?" he cried.
"I thought you were gay, Padfoot," Remus chided.
"You wish!" he replied.
And so Raven tried to help Sirius write a song about the Marauders.
A/N: HOPE YOU LIKED IT. PLEASE REVIEW!