What Have We Gotten Ourselves Into?

The next day the mansion was filled with cameramen, actors, and all sorts of movie people. "Charles what the hell have you gotten us into?" Logan groaned. "How the hell are we gonna have any secrets left with all these movie people crawling around?"

"Don't worry," Xavier said. "It's only for a few days and I've expressly forbidden several areas of the mansion to be off limits. They're only going to use the first floor and the garden for a few scenes."

CRASH!
"Sorry!" A prop guy shouted. "Hope that vase wasn't too valuable!"

"No the ones that were the students already damaged long ago," Xavier sighed.

"Hello Baby!" Shipwreck walked in with Roadblock. Shipwreck was wearing shades. "I love Hollywood people! Now where are those hot actresses!"

"He insisted on coming here with the kids," Roadblock sighed. "So how are things going here?"

"How do you think? They've only been here a day and already this place is a madhouse!" Logan grunted.

"And how is that different than any other day here?" Roadblock asked.

"He does have a point," Xavier agreed.

Several X-Men and Misfits were wandering around. "Man look at all these guys," Kitty whistled. "I had no idea how many people it took to make a movie!"

"I gotta admit this is pretty exciting," Scott said. "They said a lot of different stars were gonna be in this picture. Something about contracts and studio obligations. I wonder who we'll see?"

"I can't believe we're all gonna be on camera!" Jean said happily. "This is so cool!"

"How much you wanna bet it's gonna turn into some dumb teen frat movie with mutants?" Rogue asked.

"You don't know that," Scott told her.

"Yeah it could end up being a great teen frat movie with mutants," Pietro quipped.

"You are not helping Pietro!" Scott told him. "Why are you Misfits here anyway?"

"Hey if it wasn't for us, these guys would be out the door by now," Lance said. "And you wouldn't get parts in the film."

"He has a point," Kurt remarked. He had his image inducer turned on.

"All right now kids," Gary walked by. "Get over to makeup here. We just need you for some background shots. Uh can any of you look more…How do I put this delicately? More mutant?"

"Well," Kurt gulped as he turned off his inducer. "Will this do?"

"Perfect!" Gary nodded without a beat. "Now where did the cat girl and snake guy go? Somebody go find them, they'd be perfect!" He wandered off.

"Well that's a cool trick," A makeup artist man looked at Kurt.

"Kid what are you trying to do?" An elderly makeup artist woman asked. "Put us out of business?"

"No it just helps me, you know, fit in," Kurt explained. "You're not shocked at the way I look?"

"Kid, I've been a makeup artist for over thirty years," The woman huffed. "You think you're scary? Try seeing Joan Rivers in the morning without makeup. Gives me the willies!"

"That's nothing," The male makeup artist said. "I recently had to do Michael Jackson for an interview. Brrr…"

"And people say mutants are freaks," Pietro quipped as he got into a chair. "I need a number five ivory foundation with a number three blend for my cheekbones."

"Trust us," Kitty sighed. "If anyone knows about makeup it's him."

"Just don't put too much on dear," Mrs. Pryde walked in with Donald, Kitty's father's boyfriend.

"Yes you don't need all of that gunk hiding your natural beauty!" Donald said.

"Mom? Donald?" Kitty blinked. "What are you doing here?"

"When we learned our kitten was going to be in a movie we couldn't help but get out here and share your joy," Donald beamed.

"Since both your father and Jesse D are working we thought we'd come out here to supervise you," Mrs. Pryde said.

"You're not gonna kill each other are you?" Kitty asked.

"No, no," Donald said. "I've been going into therapy and I've put all that hostility and jealousy behind me. We only want what's best for you. Which is definitely not that makeup. She looks too pale! Who's in charge here? I want to talk about her contract!"

"Contract? Oh no…" Kitty groaned. "Mom what is he doing?"

"He's your agent dear let the man work," Mrs. Pryde told her.

"Oh this is all we need. Hey wait some of us are missing," Rogue looked around. "Where's the Blob?"

"Where do you think?" Lance pointed. Fred was happily munching donuts and making friends with the Key Grip.

"Ask a stupid question. Where's Xi and Toad?" Scott asked.

"They're hanging around the writers," Pietro pointed.

Todd and Xi were enthralling several writers with their stories. "And that's what really happened at the soccer game," Todd concluded.

"Oh man this is a gold mine!" A writer said. "We can definitely fit that in the script!"

"Tell us again about the time they unleashed a horde of monsters at the school dance," Another writer asked.

"Certainly," Todd grinned. "You know I was there the entire time."

"Oh brother…" Scott groaned. "I just hope this doesn't take too long."

Three days later:

"All right quiet on the set!" Gary shouted. "Take fifteen! And action!" The students simply walked down the hall for a few minutes. "Cut! Print! That's perfect! Now set up for the next scene!"

"Two afternoons for one thirty second shot?" Logan groaned as he watched the display. He looked at Todd who was standing next to him. "How come you ain't in the scene? Didn't the director want you?"

"Actually I've been hired as a creative consultant," Todd grinned. "And best of all, I got an actor playing me in the picture."

"Tolensky sweetheart this is Ray," Gary walked up with a very tall handsome actor covered in pale makeup. "He'll be playing your part."

"Wow," Todd blinked. "It's like looking in a mirror."

"Yeah a funhouse mirror," Kurt scoffed as he walked in with Amanda.

"Amanda?" Scott blinked. "What are you doing here?"

"Kurt invited me!" Amanda squealed. "He said he was going to show me what it's like to make a movie!"

"Yeah and it'll be great for my career too!" Benny walked in.

"Benny Barumpbump that's all we need!" Logan groaned.

"Yeah a real magician to help us with our special effects!" Gary said. "That's why I hired him! Thanks again Tolensky baby!"

"Hey anytime man," Todd said. "Wanna do lunch?"

"Well lemme see," Gary consulted his book. "After this next scene I got a massage with Helga. But yeah I'm free. Hey! I'll bet Lars and Olga are free too. Wanna book a triple so you can invite your lady?"

"Consider me invited!" Althea walked up.

"Great! Ah I can do that editing stuff some other time! Ciao! Gotta do lunch," Gary walked off.

"Another lunch? You just took one an hour ago!" Logan shouted after him.

"Hey it's a business lunch," Mac walked up to them. "For the picture! We gotta schedule the timetables of all the actors that are gonna be in the film. Trust me!"

"Don't be too offended if I don't," Logan growled.

"Come on babe," Althea took Todd by the arm. "I gotta rehearse my love scene!"

"But you don't have a…" Realization hit Todd. "Oh yeah! Right! See ya! Guys!"

"If this guy is anything like Peter Jackson we are all in big trouble," Logan groaned.

"Don't worry," Lance showed him a paper. "According to Variety this guy's famous for putting out blockbusters at least three times a year. He gets 'em done in under three months."

"Three months?" Logan yelped.

"He's already put two and a half months into this picture," Mac reassured him. "Just a few more days. I promise! That's all we need!"

Two weeks later:

"I don't know how much more of this I can take," Logan grunted. The X adults were sitting in the new food hall tent. "If Hugh Jackman copies my movements just one more time…"

"I don't know what you're complaining about," Xavier groaned. "At least Patrick Stewart isn't insisting on living in your office and asking about your skin care products!"

"Charles this is getting beyond out of hand. This movie's done more than interrupt our lives and training. It's starting to have an effect on our students," Ororo said.

Nearby Jamie was sitting in a director's chair wearing shades and talking on a cell phone. "Jeffrey! Boobala! Have you got my script yet? I was thinking Tom Cruise for the lead. Yeah. We can change that scene. Oh I agree. Hawaii is definitely the locale to shoot it in. Have your people send the details to my people! Let's do lunch! Ciao babe!"

"See what I mean?" Ororo asked. "And if you ask me Kurt's been hanging around those makeup artists far too long."

Kurt was playing a card game with three make up artists. "Did you see what Tawny Dawson was wearing last night at the Awards for Awards Show?" A campy male makeup artist asked. "Or should I say not wearing?"

"With her body she should have covered up," A cranky elderly lady with glasses said. "I've seen better skin on an alligator handbag. Speaking of which, my eczema is acting up something fierce."

"You think that's bad darling you should try having dandruff with fur sometimes," Kurt said. Somehow his accent had acquired a slightly Jewish tint to it. "It's a real pain in the tuckus! Oy!"

"Where's Amanda?" Warren asked. "Usually she's the one winning all the games."

"Oh didn't you hear?" Ororo asked. "Benny convinced them to shoot a few scenes over at Amanda's house. Grossman's over there now shooting some scenes and Amanda has a cameo. Margali's thrilled but I think Mr. Sefton isn't."

"Then why isn't Kurt over at his girlfriend's?" Logan asked.

"We kind of made a deal with Mr. Sefton," Hank said. "Kurt and the rest of us would stay away for the day if Mr. Sefton would come out from under the couch and not drink any more bourbon."

"Ah," Xavier nodded. "That would explain it. This is getting bizarre."

"That's nothing," John pointed. "Take a look at that!"

At a table Lance, Scott and Peter were eating and reading Variety. "How could the WB cancel that series?" Scott asked as they read. "It was one of their highest rated Saturday morning shows! It makes no sense!"

"Who knows what those suits think?" Lance sighed. "Big mistake! Maybe another network will pick 'em up. It's happened before."

"Yeah hey pass the croissants will you?" Peter asked.

"Sure," Lance nodded. "Hey did you ever get that Danger Room practice done?"

"Yeah but it took over twenty times until they got it right," Scott said. "I had it filmed so it could be put in the movie as well."

"That way we can count it as work," Peter said. "Got two extra hours of overtime. Hey we'd better get going! Our appointment with Helga and the other girls is in half an hour!"

"Those three are getting along?" Ororo blinked as they walked away.

"They've been hanging around each other ever since these people got here!" John said.

"Okay now I'm worried," Logan remarked.

"Well since Kitty and Jean have been in La La Land those three felt left out," Warren said.

"What do you mean?" Xavier asked.

Over in a corner Jean and Kitty were surrounded by makeup artists and assistants primping them. Mrs. Pryde and Donald were hovering over them and making sure they were pampered. Donald was on the phone. "No we discussed that already! No! Hold on a minute: I NEED TWO DIET SODAS OVER HERE! WHO DO I HAVE TO KILL TO GET SOME SERVICE AROUND HERE? MY GIRLS NEED SOMETHING TO DRINK!"

"With a twist of lemon please!" Kitty called out.

"I'll have that too," Jean said as her hair was being done.

"Of course sweeties," Donald said. "Anything you want. WHAT KIND OF AN OPERATION ARE WE RUNNING HERE? TIME IS MONEY PEOPLE!"

Xavier's jaw dropped. "What the…?"

"Jean hired Donald to be her agent too," Ororo sighed. "He's turned into the stage mother from Hell."

"YEOW! HANDS OFF ME YOU MANIAC!" A shrill scream could be heard across the tent.

"Speaking of insane parents…Althea! Your father is chasing the actresses again!" Ororo shouted.

"On it!" Althea shouted. "POP DON'T MAKE ME TURN THE HOSE ON YOU AGAIN! REMEMBER WHAT THAT JUDGE SAID ABOUT A LITTLE THING CALLED RESTRAINING ORDERS?"

"This is a nightmare," Xavier sighed. "What's that commotion over there?"

"Oh my god it's him!" Kitty gasped as Dylan Hunter walked on the set.

"Him?" Logan growled.

"Oh my god! It's him!" Amara gasped.

"Just remember what we rehearsed and you'll do fine," Tabitha told Amara. "You'll get that date with him yet!"

"Here we go," Pietro grinned. "This is gonna be fun."

Next: It's not easy trying to get to know some one with 2 jealous boyfriends, a scheming fire princess, an overprotective guardian with adamantium claws as well as a host of other maniacs in the way! Will Kitty succeed? Or will Dylan run away screaming!