Marauder Mayhem
A/N: GUYS, JUST SO YA KNOW, RAVEN IS THE GRYFFINDOR SEEKER AND JAMES IS A CHASER. A LONG TIME AGO, I HEARD THAT JAMES WAS CHASER, BUT THEN THE SORCERER'S STONE MOVIE CAME OUT AND IT SAID JAMES WAS A SEEKER. SO THEN I THOUGHT, "WHY WOULD JKR OKAY THAT IN THE MOVIE IF IT WASN'T TRUE?" BUT THEN I FOUND AN OLD INTERVIEW WITH HER THAT CONFIRMS JAMES AS A CHASER. SO, I HAD TO CHANGE THINGS AROUND. I CHANGED THE LAST CHAPTER AND A FEW OTHER CHAPTERS THAT MENTION IT. YOU DON'T HAFTA READ THEM OVER, I WAS JUST LETTING YOU KNOW SO YOU DON'T GET CONFUSED THE NEXT TIME THEY'RE PLAYIN QUIDDICH. RAVEN IS THE SEEKER, JAMES IS A CHASER, SIRIUS IS A BEATER. GOT IT???
Disclaimer: Yeah, I obviously don't own any HP stuff. You all know that cuz you're not stupid, and even if ya are, it's okay! However, I do own Raven McKinnon and a few other made up characters along the way.
Songs: Sometimes I have songs that a character is singing or dancing to. In this chapter there is "Man, I Feel Like A Woman" by Shania Twain AND "Paradise City" by Guns N Roses.
Chapter 20 - October 22nd
"The best thing about bein a woman," sang Sirius and Peter loudly, while James and Remus laughed their asses off. "Is their prerogative to have a little fun and. Oh-oh-oh, totally crazy, forget I'm a lady. Men's shirts, short skirts, oh-oh-oh. Really go wild, yeah, doin it in style. Oh-oh-oh, get in the action, feel the attraction. Color my hair, do what I dare, oh- oh-oh. I wanna be free yeah, to feel the way I feel. Man, I feel like a woman!"
"What the hell?" asked Raven as she glanced back, wide-eyed at Lily, both of them having just come through the door.
James and Remus were too hysterical to answer. Raven dropped the grocery bags she was carrying and felt Sirius' forehead. "He's totally smashed. What's going on? We were only gone an hour!"
"We just had a few butterbeer's that were in the fridge, I swear! They're like not even one percent alcohol!" reasoned James.
"Uh. there aren't any butterbeer's in the fridge." She picked up a bottle of Budweiser and rounded on James and Remus. "What the fuck? This is real beer, didn't you notice the difference?"
"Well, we thought it tasted kinda funky, but we just figured it was because it had been in there all summer," said Remus.
Sirius burst into song again. "Take me down to the Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty. Oh, won't you please take me home, yeah, yeah. Take me down to the-"
Raven put her hand over his mouth. "Jesus, how many has he had?"
"Er. I dunno." James pointed to the table where there were six empty bottles in front of Sirius. "I don't think he's ever had muggle alcohol before."
"No shit," said Raven, removing her hand from Sirius' mouth.
"Raven, I just gotta tell you somethin," he slurred. "The first time I saw you. my heart dropped into my boots."
Raven cracked a smile. "Sirius. I can tell that you think I'm impressed. But do you think you're gonna get me undressed? Cuz if ya do, I got bad news: I wasn't winkin, that was just the booze."
James laughed. "Isn't that in one of your songs, Ray?"
"Okay, we gotta get him in bed," said Remus pulling on his arm.
He jerked his hand away. "No! I don't wanna sleep! I wanna sing!" he said as he clung to his chair like a little kid.
Remus looked at Raven. "He'll go if you tell him to."
Raven sighed. "Alright, Padfoot, I guess I'll hafta go by myself."
Sirius jumped up and rushed over to Raven. "You're coming with me?"
"Of course," she said.
Sirius smiled and backed her into her room. "Aren't you gonna take off your clothes?"
"After you," she said as she pushed him onto her bed and turned to leave the room.
"Wait," Sirius grabbed her hand and pulled her onto the bed with him. "I love you," he said as he started kissing her neck.
Raven looked up and saw James standing above them, laughing.
"God, if it isn't the booze talking, it's his dick," she said, turning back to Sirius. "Baby, you're drunk. You need to sleep it off, okay?"
"Okay," he said, simply. With one quick movement he whipped his shirt over his head and threw it aside. He grabbed Raven around the waist and pulled her closer to him into a bear hug, nestling his head into her body and closing his eyes.
"Um." said Raven, looking up at James again.
"Lily can sleep in my bed. I'll sleep on the other sofa," said James.
"Okay. I'll go in his bed after he falls asleep," she added.
"Okay. Sorry about all this."
"It's okay. I mean, you were a bit thick, but it's not completely your fault," she teased.
"Oh, thanks. Love you. Night," James kissed her cheek and left the room.
"Love you, too." She closed her eyes allowing sleep to creep up on her.
Sirius opened his eyes and immediately closed them, squinting from the light coming through the blinds. It was morning. He looked over and saw Raven laying next to him. "Oh shit!"
Raven jumped up in bed. "What?"
"Oh my God, Raven, did we." he trailed off, massaging his temples. He had a splitting headache and a million thoughts were racing through his head. This is not how he wanted this to happen.
"Yeah," Raven answered. "I'm pretty sure." She decided to play along.
"God dammit! I didn't wanna do this with you! I swear, I didn't mean for this to happen. I wanted it to be different with you, ya know? I didn't want you to be like every other girl was to me!"
He was rambling on as Raven thought to herself. 'Does he really mean this? Maybe I really did change him.'
"I wanted to wait until we were both ready. God, I don't even remember it! Do you? Was it as good as-"
Raven put her finger to his lips. "Um, I'm sure it would have been if we had actually done anything."
"What?" he demanded.
"We didn't do anything; I was fucking with you."
Sirius breathed an enormous sigh of relief and let out a laugh. "Then what happened?"
"You were drunk and I put you to bed, that's all."
"That explains the splitting headache. What was in those butterbeer's?"
"Er. beer?"
"Real muggle beer?"
"Yep. I'll go get you some more," she said, getting up from the bed.
"What? Why?"
"You drink a little down now, and you'll feel a lot better."
"Really?"
Raven crossed the living room, where James was sprawled on the couch, to the porch, where Remus was also still asleep on the futon, and got out a beer from the fridge.
"Startin early?" Remus lifted his head off his pillow and winked at her.
Raven laughed. "It's for Sirius."
"Mm-hmm. You guys do anything last night?"
"Even if we did, he'd have been too drunk to remember," she said as she closed the door to the porch again and went back into her room to find Sirius putting his shirt back on.
"You can leave that off."
"What?" he asked, with the shirt partially over his head.
Raven got onto the bed and hissed in his ear, "Everyone's asleep."
"Mmm, really?" he threw the shirt into a corner again as Raven kissed him intensely. He got into it just as she touched the ice-cold beer bottle to his bare skin. His reflexes quick, he arched his back and let out a yelp. "Holy shit!"
"You deserved that. For last night."
"Wha'd I do?" he worried.
"Practically groped me in front of James."
"Oh shit! Does he know?"
"No, I blamed it on your drunkenness."
"Oh good." Sirius thought for a minute. "Where's Lily?"
"In James' bed."
"What?" he exclaimed.
"Shh! James is on the couch."
"Oh. He's not a virgin, is he?"
"Doesn't he tell you anything? He's your best friend!"
"No, he told me he's done it before, but guys always say that. I figured he would have told you the truth. Peter says he's done it, too."
Raven laughed. "Peter? Yeah right! He's more of a virgin than Lily, probably." She suddenly remembered the beer. "Oh, you hafta drink this."
"No thanks," he said, pushing it away.
"At least half. Trust me, it's the only cure for what you've got."
"I think you're the cure for what I've got," he said as he tackled her and pinned her arms behind her back.
"Yeah? Drink the beer and I'll kiss you."
"You'll kiss me anyway," he threatened.
"Try me," she said, wrenching her hands free of his and pushing him off of her. She twisted the cap off the beer and took a swig herself.
Sirius was staring her down, and she returned his gaze. "Alright, gimme it."
She handed it over and he downed the rest of it. "Good boy."
"So what about Remus?" Sirius asked her.
"Huh?"
"Ya think he's ever done it?"
"Oh. you don't know this stuff?"
"We don't talk about it as much as you think."
Raven snorted. "Sure, whatever. No, I don't think he's ever done it. He can't keep a girl long enough, right?"
"He's had quite a few girlfriends, but they've only lasted maybe a few weeks, tops. She'll start asking him questions about were he was on the last full moon, and he'll push her away after that. He still doesn't think he can trust anyone. Even after we found out and didn't even bat an eyelash," explained Sirius.
"Yeah, I figured."
"We need to get him a girl."
"Definitely," agreed Raven.
"I don't need a girl. I have you."
Raven jumped and saw Remus standing in her doorway. "You scared me. You need a girl of your own, not me."
"I was talking to Sirius," said Remus, sitting on the bed.
"Aw, Moon," said Sirius, putting his hand to his heart, batting his eyelashes, and talking in his gay voice. "You're such a cutie!" he reached up and pinched both of Remus' cheeks.
Remus swatted his hands away and rubbed his cheeks. "I can't trust anyone but you guys. I'm a monster. They wouldn't understand."
"Remus Milo Lupin, don't you ever say that again!" shouted Raven, her eyes narrowed.
"Rave-"
"No! You are NOT a monster. You're a great guy. Once you let a girl get to know you, she'll be so in love with you, she won't care about that minor detail in your life. It's not your fault you were bitten, and you hafta stop making it your whole life."
"Okay, okay! Chill, drama queen!" teased Remus.
"Least I'm not a drag queen," she said, nudging Sirius.
They all started laughing. "If I was a drag queen, would I do this?" he said, turning Raven's face toward him and kissing her.
"If you were a lesbian drag queen," said Remus as they continued kissing.
"Who's a drag queen?" said James from the hallway.
Raven and Sirius broke apart, quickly, as James opened the door. "Sirius," said Raven and Remus in unison.
"Knew it."
A/N: HOPE YOU LIKED IT. PLEASE REVIEW. BY THE WAY, I'M STARTING SCHOOL BACK UP TOMORROW (1/12), SO IT MAY TAKE ME A LITTLE LONGER TO UPDATE FROM NOW ON SINCE I HAVE TO BALANCE COLLEGE SHIT, WORK SHIT, AND ALL MY OTHER SHIT TOGETHER. SO SORRY IN ADVANCE IF I'M NOT UPDATING AS MUCH. I WAS TRYING TO BRIBE YOU GUYS BY HAVING THESE LAST FEW CHAPTERS PRETTY MUCH BACK TO BACK. "DON'T BE A FOOL, STAY IN SCHOOL!" LUV YA! ~RAVEN
A/N: GUYS, JUST SO YA KNOW, RAVEN IS THE GRYFFINDOR SEEKER AND JAMES IS A CHASER. A LONG TIME AGO, I HEARD THAT JAMES WAS CHASER, BUT THEN THE SORCERER'S STONE MOVIE CAME OUT AND IT SAID JAMES WAS A SEEKER. SO THEN I THOUGHT, "WHY WOULD JKR OKAY THAT IN THE MOVIE IF IT WASN'T TRUE?" BUT THEN I FOUND AN OLD INTERVIEW WITH HER THAT CONFIRMS JAMES AS A CHASER. SO, I HAD TO CHANGE THINGS AROUND. I CHANGED THE LAST CHAPTER AND A FEW OTHER CHAPTERS THAT MENTION IT. YOU DON'T HAFTA READ THEM OVER, I WAS JUST LETTING YOU KNOW SO YOU DON'T GET CONFUSED THE NEXT TIME THEY'RE PLAYIN QUIDDICH. RAVEN IS THE SEEKER, JAMES IS A CHASER, SIRIUS IS A BEATER. GOT IT???
Disclaimer: Yeah, I obviously don't own any HP stuff. You all know that cuz you're not stupid, and even if ya are, it's okay! However, I do own Raven McKinnon and a few other made up characters along the way.
Songs: Sometimes I have songs that a character is singing or dancing to. In this chapter there is "Man, I Feel Like A Woman" by Shania Twain AND "Paradise City" by Guns N Roses.
Chapter 20 - October 22nd
"The best thing about bein a woman," sang Sirius and Peter loudly, while James and Remus laughed their asses off. "Is their prerogative to have a little fun and. Oh-oh-oh, totally crazy, forget I'm a lady. Men's shirts, short skirts, oh-oh-oh. Really go wild, yeah, doin it in style. Oh-oh-oh, get in the action, feel the attraction. Color my hair, do what I dare, oh- oh-oh. I wanna be free yeah, to feel the way I feel. Man, I feel like a woman!"
"What the hell?" asked Raven as she glanced back, wide-eyed at Lily, both of them having just come through the door.
James and Remus were too hysterical to answer. Raven dropped the grocery bags she was carrying and felt Sirius' forehead. "He's totally smashed. What's going on? We were only gone an hour!"
"We just had a few butterbeer's that were in the fridge, I swear! They're like not even one percent alcohol!" reasoned James.
"Uh. there aren't any butterbeer's in the fridge." She picked up a bottle of Budweiser and rounded on James and Remus. "What the fuck? This is real beer, didn't you notice the difference?"
"Well, we thought it tasted kinda funky, but we just figured it was because it had been in there all summer," said Remus.
Sirius burst into song again. "Take me down to the Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty. Oh, won't you please take me home, yeah, yeah. Take me down to the-"
Raven put her hand over his mouth. "Jesus, how many has he had?"
"Er. I dunno." James pointed to the table where there were six empty bottles in front of Sirius. "I don't think he's ever had muggle alcohol before."
"No shit," said Raven, removing her hand from Sirius' mouth.
"Raven, I just gotta tell you somethin," he slurred. "The first time I saw you. my heart dropped into my boots."
Raven cracked a smile. "Sirius. I can tell that you think I'm impressed. But do you think you're gonna get me undressed? Cuz if ya do, I got bad news: I wasn't winkin, that was just the booze."
James laughed. "Isn't that in one of your songs, Ray?"
"Okay, we gotta get him in bed," said Remus pulling on his arm.
He jerked his hand away. "No! I don't wanna sleep! I wanna sing!" he said as he clung to his chair like a little kid.
Remus looked at Raven. "He'll go if you tell him to."
Raven sighed. "Alright, Padfoot, I guess I'll hafta go by myself."
Sirius jumped up and rushed over to Raven. "You're coming with me?"
"Of course," she said.
Sirius smiled and backed her into her room. "Aren't you gonna take off your clothes?"
"After you," she said as she pushed him onto her bed and turned to leave the room.
"Wait," Sirius grabbed her hand and pulled her onto the bed with him. "I love you," he said as he started kissing her neck.
Raven looked up and saw James standing above them, laughing.
"God, if it isn't the booze talking, it's his dick," she said, turning back to Sirius. "Baby, you're drunk. You need to sleep it off, okay?"
"Okay," he said, simply. With one quick movement he whipped his shirt over his head and threw it aside. He grabbed Raven around the waist and pulled her closer to him into a bear hug, nestling his head into her body and closing his eyes.
"Um." said Raven, looking up at James again.
"Lily can sleep in my bed. I'll sleep on the other sofa," said James.
"Okay. I'll go in his bed after he falls asleep," she added.
"Okay. Sorry about all this."
"It's okay. I mean, you were a bit thick, but it's not completely your fault," she teased.
"Oh, thanks. Love you. Night," James kissed her cheek and left the room.
"Love you, too." She closed her eyes allowing sleep to creep up on her.
Sirius opened his eyes and immediately closed them, squinting from the light coming through the blinds. It was morning. He looked over and saw Raven laying next to him. "Oh shit!"
Raven jumped up in bed. "What?"
"Oh my God, Raven, did we." he trailed off, massaging his temples. He had a splitting headache and a million thoughts were racing through his head. This is not how he wanted this to happen.
"Yeah," Raven answered. "I'm pretty sure." She decided to play along.
"God dammit! I didn't wanna do this with you! I swear, I didn't mean for this to happen. I wanted it to be different with you, ya know? I didn't want you to be like every other girl was to me!"
He was rambling on as Raven thought to herself. 'Does he really mean this? Maybe I really did change him.'
"I wanted to wait until we were both ready. God, I don't even remember it! Do you? Was it as good as-"
Raven put her finger to his lips. "Um, I'm sure it would have been if we had actually done anything."
"What?" he demanded.
"We didn't do anything; I was fucking with you."
Sirius breathed an enormous sigh of relief and let out a laugh. "Then what happened?"
"You were drunk and I put you to bed, that's all."
"That explains the splitting headache. What was in those butterbeer's?"
"Er. beer?"
"Real muggle beer?"
"Yep. I'll go get you some more," she said, getting up from the bed.
"What? Why?"
"You drink a little down now, and you'll feel a lot better."
"Really?"
Raven crossed the living room, where James was sprawled on the couch, to the porch, where Remus was also still asleep on the futon, and got out a beer from the fridge.
"Startin early?" Remus lifted his head off his pillow and winked at her.
Raven laughed. "It's for Sirius."
"Mm-hmm. You guys do anything last night?"
"Even if we did, he'd have been too drunk to remember," she said as she closed the door to the porch again and went back into her room to find Sirius putting his shirt back on.
"You can leave that off."
"What?" he asked, with the shirt partially over his head.
Raven got onto the bed and hissed in his ear, "Everyone's asleep."
"Mmm, really?" he threw the shirt into a corner again as Raven kissed him intensely. He got into it just as she touched the ice-cold beer bottle to his bare skin. His reflexes quick, he arched his back and let out a yelp. "Holy shit!"
"You deserved that. For last night."
"Wha'd I do?" he worried.
"Practically groped me in front of James."
"Oh shit! Does he know?"
"No, I blamed it on your drunkenness."
"Oh good." Sirius thought for a minute. "Where's Lily?"
"In James' bed."
"What?" he exclaimed.
"Shh! James is on the couch."
"Oh. He's not a virgin, is he?"
"Doesn't he tell you anything? He's your best friend!"
"No, he told me he's done it before, but guys always say that. I figured he would have told you the truth. Peter says he's done it, too."
Raven laughed. "Peter? Yeah right! He's more of a virgin than Lily, probably." She suddenly remembered the beer. "Oh, you hafta drink this."
"No thanks," he said, pushing it away.
"At least half. Trust me, it's the only cure for what you've got."
"I think you're the cure for what I've got," he said as he tackled her and pinned her arms behind her back.
"Yeah? Drink the beer and I'll kiss you."
"You'll kiss me anyway," he threatened.
"Try me," she said, wrenching her hands free of his and pushing him off of her. She twisted the cap off the beer and took a swig herself.
Sirius was staring her down, and she returned his gaze. "Alright, gimme it."
She handed it over and he downed the rest of it. "Good boy."
"So what about Remus?" Sirius asked her.
"Huh?"
"Ya think he's ever done it?"
"Oh. you don't know this stuff?"
"We don't talk about it as much as you think."
Raven snorted. "Sure, whatever. No, I don't think he's ever done it. He can't keep a girl long enough, right?"
"He's had quite a few girlfriends, but they've only lasted maybe a few weeks, tops. She'll start asking him questions about were he was on the last full moon, and he'll push her away after that. He still doesn't think he can trust anyone. Even after we found out and didn't even bat an eyelash," explained Sirius.
"Yeah, I figured."
"We need to get him a girl."
"Definitely," agreed Raven.
"I don't need a girl. I have you."
Raven jumped and saw Remus standing in her doorway. "You scared me. You need a girl of your own, not me."
"I was talking to Sirius," said Remus, sitting on the bed.
"Aw, Moon," said Sirius, putting his hand to his heart, batting his eyelashes, and talking in his gay voice. "You're such a cutie!" he reached up and pinched both of Remus' cheeks.
Remus swatted his hands away and rubbed his cheeks. "I can't trust anyone but you guys. I'm a monster. They wouldn't understand."
"Remus Milo Lupin, don't you ever say that again!" shouted Raven, her eyes narrowed.
"Rave-"
"No! You are NOT a monster. You're a great guy. Once you let a girl get to know you, she'll be so in love with you, she won't care about that minor detail in your life. It's not your fault you were bitten, and you hafta stop making it your whole life."
"Okay, okay! Chill, drama queen!" teased Remus.
"Least I'm not a drag queen," she said, nudging Sirius.
They all started laughing. "If I was a drag queen, would I do this?" he said, turning Raven's face toward him and kissing her.
"If you were a lesbian drag queen," said Remus as they continued kissing.
"Who's a drag queen?" said James from the hallway.
Raven and Sirius broke apart, quickly, as James opened the door. "Sirius," said Raven and Remus in unison.
"Knew it."
A/N: HOPE YOU LIKED IT. PLEASE REVIEW. BY THE WAY, I'M STARTING SCHOOL BACK UP TOMORROW (1/12), SO IT MAY TAKE ME A LITTLE LONGER TO UPDATE FROM NOW ON SINCE I HAVE TO BALANCE COLLEGE SHIT, WORK SHIT, AND ALL MY OTHER SHIT TOGETHER. SO SORRY IN ADVANCE IF I'M NOT UPDATING AS MUCH. I WAS TRYING TO BRIBE YOU GUYS BY HAVING THESE LAST FEW CHAPTERS PRETTY MUCH BACK TO BACK. "DON'T BE A FOOL, STAY IN SCHOOL!" LUV YA! ~RAVEN