Sauron's Nightmare
Chapter one - 'A little too Strange, isn't it?'
A long, long time before Fordo and Sam stepped into Mordor, two lads were wandering in the land of shadow. However, no tales, songs, or poem were made about it, for none had drunk 'Got Milk?' to have the strength to live to tell it.
The two young brave lads lurked in the gloominess of the land. They were from a secret city in the Misty Mountains called No-entry-for-Balrogs, where its inhabitants were all Balrogs, flying here and there everyday. Their purpose of traveling here was to bring an end to the Dark Lord. Eh... no, sorry, typing error. They are actually here to watch orcs bathing (*drools at the thought*).
'Slap!' Tom gave John a tight slap angrily. 'It's all because of you!!'
A drop of tear rolled down John's cheek. 'NO, FORGIVE ME TOM! I'M SORRY!! PLEASE!!' he said.
'HOW CAN I FORGIVE YOU AFTER WHAT YOU'VE DONE?!' Tom yelled at John and waved a fist at him. 'THAT'S WAS A DAMN GOOD OPPRTUNITY TO WATCH THE ORCS BATHING, AND YET YOU SELFISH ASS BLOCKED MY VIEW AND ENJOYED ALL BY YOURSELF!!'
'I'm sorry Tom... I'm sorry,' John sobbed.
'Tom eyed him for a moment and his glare softened. 'Alright, but I don't want a next-time, you hear me?' he said. John nodded sadly.
They studied the ruins before them. A platoon of orcs were marching towards them. They looked fearsome and terrible, big and tall (not at all the type they prefer to ogle at). They trembled helplessly and watched them get closer.
Then as they got closer, John suddenly called out: 'Hey! Isn't that Jim Carrey?!' He waved at one of the orcs with a hideous thick make-up.
'Yeah! That's Jim Carrey!' Tom cried and got ready to grab an autograph from him.
Then the 'orc-that-looked-like-Jim-Carrey' screamed at them: 'SHUT THE HELL UP! CAN'T YOU GUYS REMEMBER THAT YOU'RE ACTING IN A MOVIE?!'
John and Tom were stunned. They kept staring with their jaws wide- opened at the professionally-disguised Jim Carrey until the platoon faded out of view.
The land around them were swamps and nothing else. Huge and sharp rocks littered the ground like tombstones. They trudge along the well-trodden path used by the orcs leading towards the distant Dark Tower. The Tower stood on the horizon like a pin poking out from the earth, ugly and evil.
'IN WHOSE NAME DO YOU TWO SERVE? HOW DARE YOU ENTER MORDOR!' a voice boomed from behind.
Behind them was the notorious Lord of the Nazguls, who was known for undergoing the first sex-change operation in Middle Earth, and thus was named the Witch-king. A messy tangle of visitor passes hung on his neck. Then for no reason, he knelt down before them and said:
'PLEASE, I BEG TWO OF YOU TO PAY ONLY 2 DOLLARS FOR A VISITOR PASS! THE MORGUL ECONOMY HAVE BEEN FAILING EVER SINCE OUR LORD HAD LOST HIS RING! PLEASE, HAVE A HEART AND DO US THIS LITTLE FAVOUR!'
Tom and John stood there like statues and were as silent as urine going down the side of the toilet bowl.
'PLEEZ!! ONLY 2 DOLLARS!!' the Witch-king pressed on.
'Erm... sorry, I'd forgotten my lines!' Tom scratched his head and dug out a crumpled paper from his pocket. A light of relief beamed on his face as he unfolded it.
'Oi... 'kay, now I know! *cleared his throat* We're willing to pay more than that if you bring us to the Dark Tower.'
The Witch-king looked puzzled and too, dug out a paper from his pocket. 'BLAA BLAA NASTY SAURON, HAVE YOU GOT ANY POO? YES SIR YES SIR THREE BEGS FULL. ONE FOR MINAS TIRITH, ONE FOR...'
'Erm... Mr. Witch-king, have you made a mistake?' John asked.
The Nazguls' Leader came to his mind and hid the paper back into his pocket hastily. 'A SONG INVENTED BY NAZGUL NUMBER THREE! SHH... DUN SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT OR WE WILL DIE, OKAY?' he hissed and scanned the surrounding carefully.
And together, they went to the Dark Tower.
********
To be continued
********
Chapter one - 'A little too Strange, isn't it?'
A long, long time before Fordo and Sam stepped into Mordor, two lads were wandering in the land of shadow. However, no tales, songs, or poem were made about it, for none had drunk 'Got Milk?' to have the strength to live to tell it.
The two young brave lads lurked in the gloominess of the land. They were from a secret city in the Misty Mountains called No-entry-for-Balrogs, where its inhabitants were all Balrogs, flying here and there everyday. Their purpose of traveling here was to bring an end to the Dark Lord. Eh... no, sorry, typing error. They are actually here to watch orcs bathing (*drools at the thought*).
'Slap!' Tom gave John a tight slap angrily. 'It's all because of you!!'
A drop of tear rolled down John's cheek. 'NO, FORGIVE ME TOM! I'M SORRY!! PLEASE!!' he said.
'HOW CAN I FORGIVE YOU AFTER WHAT YOU'VE DONE?!' Tom yelled at John and waved a fist at him. 'THAT'S WAS A DAMN GOOD OPPRTUNITY TO WATCH THE ORCS BATHING, AND YET YOU SELFISH ASS BLOCKED MY VIEW AND ENJOYED ALL BY YOURSELF!!'
'I'm sorry Tom... I'm sorry,' John sobbed.
'Tom eyed him for a moment and his glare softened. 'Alright, but I don't want a next-time, you hear me?' he said. John nodded sadly.
They studied the ruins before them. A platoon of orcs were marching towards them. They looked fearsome and terrible, big and tall (not at all the type they prefer to ogle at). They trembled helplessly and watched them get closer.
Then as they got closer, John suddenly called out: 'Hey! Isn't that Jim Carrey?!' He waved at one of the orcs with a hideous thick make-up.
'Yeah! That's Jim Carrey!' Tom cried and got ready to grab an autograph from him.
Then the 'orc-that-looked-like-Jim-Carrey' screamed at them: 'SHUT THE HELL UP! CAN'T YOU GUYS REMEMBER THAT YOU'RE ACTING IN A MOVIE?!'
John and Tom were stunned. They kept staring with their jaws wide- opened at the professionally-disguised Jim Carrey until the platoon faded out of view.
The land around them were swamps and nothing else. Huge and sharp rocks littered the ground like tombstones. They trudge along the well-trodden path used by the orcs leading towards the distant Dark Tower. The Tower stood on the horizon like a pin poking out from the earth, ugly and evil.
'IN WHOSE NAME DO YOU TWO SERVE? HOW DARE YOU ENTER MORDOR!' a voice boomed from behind.
Behind them was the notorious Lord of the Nazguls, who was known for undergoing the first sex-change operation in Middle Earth, and thus was named the Witch-king. A messy tangle of visitor passes hung on his neck. Then for no reason, he knelt down before them and said:
'PLEASE, I BEG TWO OF YOU TO PAY ONLY 2 DOLLARS FOR A VISITOR PASS! THE MORGUL ECONOMY HAVE BEEN FAILING EVER SINCE OUR LORD HAD LOST HIS RING! PLEASE, HAVE A HEART AND DO US THIS LITTLE FAVOUR!'
Tom and John stood there like statues and were as silent as urine going down the side of the toilet bowl.
'PLEEZ!! ONLY 2 DOLLARS!!' the Witch-king pressed on.
'Erm... sorry, I'd forgotten my lines!' Tom scratched his head and dug out a crumpled paper from his pocket. A light of relief beamed on his face as he unfolded it.
'Oi... 'kay, now I know! *cleared his throat* We're willing to pay more than that if you bring us to the Dark Tower.'
The Witch-king looked puzzled and too, dug out a paper from his pocket. 'BLAA BLAA NASTY SAURON, HAVE YOU GOT ANY POO? YES SIR YES SIR THREE BEGS FULL. ONE FOR MINAS TIRITH, ONE FOR...'
'Erm... Mr. Witch-king, have you made a mistake?' John asked.
The Nazguls' Leader came to his mind and hid the paper back into his pocket hastily. 'A SONG INVENTED BY NAZGUL NUMBER THREE! SHH... DUN SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT OR WE WILL DIE, OKAY?' he hissed and scanned the surrounding carefully.
And together, they went to the Dark Tower.
********
To be continued
********