Mysterious Assassin Infiltrates Red Dragon HQ!
"Last week, a mysterious woman walked into the headquarters of the infamous Red Dragon Syndicate during broad daylight, sporting a pair of dark sunglasses and toting a machinegun. She made it to the elevator without having to fire a single shot.
'We was just mindin' our own business an' didn't even notice her until she was halfway across the room,' comments one eyewitness. 'When we did notice her, we didn't dare make a move. There was somethin' about the set of her face and the way she moved that let you know she'd of had your brains leakin' out your head if you so much as wiggled a pinky.' This distressful damsel rode the elevator directly up to the top floor where Red Dragon guard Tony Mavrades (false name) was waiting.
'I'd been edgy all day – had a bad feeling, ya know? So when that elevator started moving up, I raised my gun and stood ready. The doors had just opened a crack when the shooting began. I dodged to the side, but she caught me in the right shoulder and leg, and I went down. When she stepped out of the elevator, I tried to reach for my gun, but she got there first and kicked it away. I thought for sure she was going to finish me off, but she just looked down at me with those big green eyes… I don't think she was an assassin. I think she was there to settle a score.' The vexing vixen proceeded down the hallway, picking off three more R.D. agents before reaching Felix Humphrey (false name).
'I'd heard the shootin' and hid myself from view so's I could take her out as she rounded the corner. But as I listened for her footsteps to come closer, she stopped and fired off a round from a distance – right at the corner I was hidin' behind, as if she could see me 'round the bend! 'Course, the angle was all wrong and she couldn't get me good, but one of those bullets bounced off the wall and nicked me in the arm. I threw caution to the wind and charged out, shootin' like a man possessed and prayin' one of those bullets would hit home. However, the dame dove to the floor and got off two good shoots – one hit my knee, the other ripped into my side.
'My vision was blurry and I was fast losin' consciousness, but I did note that the dame was carryin' a compact, and perceived that she'd probably used a mirror to see around the corner. Pretty clever, huh? She passed by me and I got a good look at her face…she was one good lookin' dame but she was sure pissed off. Normally I'd be scared shitless, but I had a strange feelin' her rage wasn't directed at me.' What happened next, no one can be certain. Reinforcements from the bottom floor finally arrived, only to find a large hole in the roof, and their not-so-beloved leader dead.
'Confidentially, I think she did us a favor,' says one former R.D. agent. 'Vicious was out of control. He was losing it and he was going to take all of us down with him.' So, let us tip our hats to this mysterious lady, whomever she may be, for making our galaxy just a little bit safer.
The means are right for taking, fade to gray
Trying to be ruthless, in the face of beauty
In this matrix, it's plain to see
It's either you or me.
Bruise,
pristine,
serene,
we were born to lose.
Cast a line with a velvet glove
Reading like an open book, in the hands of love
In this matrix, it's plain to see
It's either you or me.
Bruise,
pristine,
serene,
we were born to lose.
Spike snorted derisively and crumpled the paper, tossing it in the back of the cockpit. What does Ed know about all this? he wondered. "Why'd you print that out, Ed?" Spike asked the bushy-haired computer whiz kid, who had moved to the floor and was sitting cross-legged with her eyes closed. "Ed?" She opened one eye.
"Spike-person must hush now as Edward is trying to levitate." She closed her eye and began to emit strange noises. "Aaaooooweeeuuu…" Spike shook his head and sighed, lifting his shoulders in a defeated shrug. He turned his attention back to the screen and hit the play button. Vicious released Faye from his grasp and she backed away, panting and bewildered.
"I promised myself I wouldn't touch you. Not until you regained your memories." Spike scratched his head. '…until you regained your memories?' What the hell… How could Vicious know about Faye's amnesia? And what does Faye getting back her memories have to do with him? Not a damn thing. Unless…Spike felt his heart beat faster. Fuck, no, it's impossible! But…what if Vicious was part of Faye's past? What if he wanted her to remember her past, so that she would remember him? He was close, he could feel it, but the idea of Vicious sharing a history with Faye was ridiculous. That would mean that Vicious, like Faye, had been cryogenically frozen. How could it be possible? "Ed!" he barked. Ed bounded to her feet and puffed out her chest, raising a hand to her forehead like a soldier standing at attention. "Is there any way you can hack into Faye's ship's computer and find out where she's been in the last few months?" Ed pondered this a moment.
"Ahh-firmative!" she responded at length. Spike climbed out of the Swordfish cockpit and Ed scampered off. She returned a few minutes later, Tomato resting on her head and Ein trotting behind her, and joined Spike at Faye's Redtail. Ed opened the hatch door and scrambled into the cockpit, plugging Tomato into an outlet. Ein leapt in after her, tail wagging as he watched Ed's fingers fly over the keyboard furiously. The Redtail soon purred into life, various lights flickering. Ed finished typing and lifted one finger triumphantly, preparing to strike the final key. Ein lifted a paw. "Ein!" Ed said warningly. Ein dropped his paw and whimpered. Ed struck the correct key and grinned as her screen flooded with information. "Does Spike-person want specific dates on Faye-Faye's whereabouts?" Spike sucked on his cigarette thoughtfully.
"Fuck… I don't know when she got her memories back…" he muttered, slumping against the Redtail and looking sulky. He continued to think, trying to remember any clues in Faye's behavior or comments. "What about the last time we were on Earth?" he said slowly. "She left and didn't come back until a week later, right after Vicious gained control of the Syndicate. Remember, Ed? You left that same day."
"Oooh yeah, Ed remembers! Faye-Faye told Edward that she remembered where she belonged. Faye-Faye said belonging was the best thing ever! She said Ed should find where to belong. So Ed left too, but father-person kept forgetting about Ed." Ed looked sad and Ein whined and licked her foot. "Ed likes it better on the Bebop-Bebop. Faye-Faye must too, because she came back." Spike stared at her, digesting all this information.
"No," he sighed. "Faye came back because she had no where else to go."
"But Faye-Faye said she be-looonged!" Ed protested, looking upset.
"She does!" Spike snapped. "She belongs here!" Ed's eyes rounded. "Uh…that is…so Faye was gone for a week since that day. Can you find out where she was in that time frame?" Ed began typing again. What the hell is the matter with me? Spike wondered, puffing on his cigarette urgently, as if it were medicine.
"Ed found some coordinates, floordinates!" Edward sang. She pushed her laptop around so Spike could read.
"Earth: longitude 55, latitude 75….hmm, nothing listed around that area 'cept residential homes…could be something. Ganymede: longitude 32, latitude 90…bars, casinos…typical Faye. Mars: longitude 117, latitude 64…a re-fueling station and airport. Well, looks like Earth's my best bet, wouldn't you say, Ed?" Ed responded with a loud snore. She was still cross-legged, head drooping to the side and drool dribbling out of the corner of her mouth. Ein looked over at Spike. "Good night, Ed," Spike sighed, closing the hatch door of the Redtail.
"Bruise Pristine" by Placebo.