By Super Karoru
Chapter 2: The New and Crazy Quest Begins
Now onward to our tale!
When we last left our heroes, they had been "attacked" by some Cactusmon that accidentally stuck needles into Fairymon's butt. That really ticked her off, so she beat the crap out of them. After that ordeal, their D-Scanners began to flash and Ophanimon ordered them to go on a new quest. Yeah, that's about it.
The gang was still walking in the desert and Izumi had managed to pull out most all of the needles out of her rear. Of course, Junpei offered to pull them out for her. That got him a slap. Takuya kept watching her pull the needles out, mainly looking at that lower region. That earned him two slaps. Thus, everyone else just kept to themselves. But one problem, for Takuya, anyway: she forgot one little needle that was stuck on the back of her skirt. And this was really bugging him. In fact, it was just driving him insane seeing that one annoying little needle! Well, he certainly didn't want to tell her that there was still a needle on her rear. She would accuse him of being "informal", as she called it. For his sanity's sake, there was only one other option. Junpei, Tomoki, Kouji, Bokomon, and Neemon sat down to take a break while Izumi was aimlessly walking around. When Takuya was pretty sure she wasn't looking, he snuck up behind her and pulled the needle off the back of her skirt. He was relieved and thought that he was home free. That is, until a very angry and very blushing Izumi turned around and gave him the death glare.
"Uh... heheheh... hi... um... Izumi... um... needle... on... butt."
"Pervert!"
WHAP! BAM! SLAP! POW!
"Oww..." groaned Takuya.
"Are you all right, Takuya-han?" asked Bokomon.
"Ouchie... Can't move legs..."
"Guess not."
"Ha! Serves him right!" scoffed Junpei who was really miffed that Takuya got to touch Izumi's butt.
Then Izumi let out a roar that sounded a lot like a rabid panther. Everyone's eyes widened at the pure terror.
"Must be PMS," Kouji mused.
"What was that?" Izumi glanced in his direction.
"Oh, nothing!"
"I haven't had a line in this chapter yet!" realized Tomoki.
"No one cares. Just like we don't care whether or not Izumi has PMS," the bandana boy said innocently.
"I see. What's PMS?"
"I don't wear any undies under my pants!" interrupted Neemon.
Everyone stared at him.
"Too much information!" yelled Junpei.
"So what do we do now?" asked Kouji.
"I... don't... know..." said Takuya.
They all sat around waiting for me to think of something."I'm hungry," said Tomoki.
"Likewise," stated Junpei.
"Then let's get something to eat!" suggested everyone's favorite goggle head.
"Hooray!"
Thanks to the wonders of plot advancement, they all walked off to find something to eat. But the Chosen Children were unaware of the madness they were about to endure...
Suddenly, they ended up in a forest.
"How'd we end up in a forest?" asked Neemon.
"Ask the author," responded Bokomon.
"Oh, okay. Hey, Author-person, how'd we end up in a forest?"
Plothole.
"Okie dokie!"
"Well, that was strange," said Takuya and Izumi. They both slapped their foreheads. "Not this again!"
Tomoki started laughing for no reason. Everyone stared at him. Then it started raining Gummy Bears!
"What the hell?" asked a very confused Kouji.
:is currently wearing a straight jacket: This can't be good for anyone's mind!
"But how can you type while you're wearing a straight jacket?" asked Izumi.
... Magic.
Tomoki and Junpei had already begun to scarf down the falling candy.
"Yummy... yummy... gummies."
"I'm allergic to gummy bears," said Kouji.
Well, too bad.
"Don't make me hurt you," Kouji growled. "Hey, where are you, anyway?"
I am neither here nor there. Neither hither nor yonder. I'm sitting in my computer chair typing this chapter.
"What?" asked everyone.
I said
"No, don't repeat yourself!" yelled Bokomon.
"What can you and Doodle-Doodle do!" screamed Neemon.
"Let's have fun with the Baby Looney Tunes!" blurted out Takuya.
"What the hell are you talking about, Takuya?" asked Izumi.
"I honestly have no idea. Say, isn't it "informal" for a lady to swear?"
"Uh... no," she lied.
Oh, what fun being random is!
"No, not the randomness!" shouted Takuya and Izumi. "Oh crap! Not again!" they both yelled.
"Stop that!"
"I thought this was settled in the last chapter!"
"AHHH!"
I will confuse you AAAAAALLLLLL!
"YAY!" cheered Tomoki.
Everyone looked confused.
Yes, it's working!
"Hey, wait a minute. Isn't this chapter called "The New and Crazy Quest Begins"?" asked Takuya.
Why, yes. Yes, it is.
"So, what's our quest?"
What's your quest? Ha! Don't be ridiculous! It's for the Shikon no Tama!
Takuya: That's Inuyasha...
Oh, right... to find the Nannichuan Spring and rid ourselves of the curse?
Izumi: That's Ranma ½.
To find the tags and crests?
Kouji: That's season one of this show.
Hmm... gotta catch 'em all?
Everyone: Nooooo! That's Pokémon, you MORON!
Say, you're all talking in script form!
Everyone: We are?
Yes. Error. Error. Must fix. Must fix.
"Ridiculous, Lucky Captain Rabbit King. Lucky Captain Rabbit King Nuggets are for the youth!" said Tomoki.
That's much better.
"It is?" asked Junpei.
Yes.
"Okay," said everyone.
Don't worry readers, it won't be this weird next chapter... at least I hope not, but it probably will be anyway!
"Who are you talking to?" asked Takuya.
The readers.
"READERS!" shouted everyone. They all started running around and screaming.
Er... I think it's time I made my exit. :leaves:
"Hey, where'd she go?" asked Neemon.
"I assume that we scared her off," answered Bokomon.
"Is the moon really made out of cheese?" asked Tomoki.
"No, it's made of rock," answered Kouji with his infinite wisdom.
"Aww, man. I wanted to become an astronaut so I could go to the moon and eat all the moon cheese," said Junpei.
"What a glutton," muttered Takuya.
"What was that?" Junpei glared.
"Nothin'."
"You're all weird," said Izumi.
"You're weirder," said Takuya.
"You're weirdest."
"You're the weirdest of the weird."
"You're supreme ruler of the weird."
"You're Queen Weird."
"You're the weird ruler of the weird people!"
"You're a weirder ruler of the weirder people!"
"You're the weirdest ruler of the weirdest people!"
"Oh yeah!"
"Yeah!"
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah!"
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah!"
"Would you both just SHUT UP!" screamed Bokomon.
"Why should we?"
"Your childish antics grow tiresome. Plus, it's the end of the chapter."
"Aww, man..." said Takuya and Izumi. "Hey, I thought I told you to stop that!"
"Sometimes I question the sanity of humans," grumbled Bokomon.
End of chapter 2.
What craziness will await our heroes in the next chapter? Why do Takuya and Izumi keep talking in unison? How much more randomness can there possibly be? Find out this and a bunch of other crap in chapter three of A Funny Frontier Tale!