A Funny Frontier Tale
By Super Karoru
Chapter 4: A Visit to Karoru Corporations™

Now onward to our tale!

When we last left our heroes, they were in a random forest playing the Dare Game. Then things happened. And so, after another strange encounter and conversation with the author, Takuya has been magically healed for this chapter. And, uh... they're gonna do stuff!

"Ah, to be magically healed! It is the power of fanfiction!" shouted a hyper Takuya.

"Err... right," said Izumi.

"Fan... fiction?" asked Neemon.

Bokomon snapped Neemon's pants.

"Owie! What'd you do that for?"

"Moron! How could you not know what fanfiction is?" questioned Bokomon.

"Yeah, since about chapter two, we've been very self-conscious that we're in a story, and controlled by a being that overpowers us and can do whatever she wants," said Junpei with pure fear etched in his voice.

"As long as she stays in the boundaries of keeping us in-character!" Tomoki added.

"Somehow, I think she's passed that," Izumi noted, pointing towards "Bishounen Man", who was currently posing for no apparent reason.

"Oooh," Neemon nodded. "Now my brain doesn't hurt as much from all that wondering!"

"So..." started Kouji, ending his posing.

"Don't say it..." said Takuya.

"... what..."

"If you say it..." warned Izumi.

"... do..."

"We're warning you, Kouji," said Junpei.

"... we..."

"Nooooooooo!" cried Tomoki.

"... do..."

Bokomon and Neemon took cover.

"... now? So what do we do now!"

Everyone groaned.

"Quit saying that every chapter, Kouji!"

"Sorry."

"Um, okay, so now what?" asked Junpei. Everyone glared at him. "What!"

Suddenly they heard rap music in the background.

"What the fu" said Takuya, but he was cut off by Izumi.

"Takuya! Don't say that word!"

"I was just going to say fuzz."

Everyone fell over. Izumi bopped Takuya on the head. The rap music got louder.

"Guess who's back. Back again. Cactusmon's back. Tell a friend."

Everyone slapped their foreheads.

"Oh, crap..." said Takuya.

"Double crap," said Kouji.

"They better not stick needles in my butt again..." said Izumi.

The Cactusmon burst through the trees. And that would be weird because they're in a forest and the Cactusmon are cacti... from a desert. Oh well, details, details. Anyway, the Cactusmon started to sing once more! Well, if you call that singing.

"Who let the Cactusmon out? Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!"

"That's what we'd like to know!" shouted everyone.

"Um... ask the author!"

Not this again! Just get on with it!

"Uhh, okay... said everyone"

"You put the quotations in the wrong place!" yelled Izumi.

Oh peril of perils!

"Grammar Nazi," mumbled Takuya.

"Can it, goggleboy!"

"Shut your trap!"

"Stuff it!"

"Shut your cakehole, ZOE!"

"Not my evil dub name! Anything but that!"

"ZOE! ZOE! ZOE! ZOE! ZOE! ZOE!" Cue the evil laughter.

"Not the evil dub name! Nooooo..."

"Um, hello?" asked the Cactusmon.

"Oops. I guess we forgot about them," said Takuya and Izumi.

Everyone fell over, even the Cactusmon.

"Um. Hoo. Hoo. Hoo. We are idiotic and evil. Fight us now," said the Cactusmon.

"Oh, no we won't!" shouted Zoe. Ack, I mean Izumi!

"Uhhh... okay! We attack!"

The Cactusmon started to power up! Hwuah!

"REALLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYY..." started the Cactusmon.

"... STUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDD..."

"Er..."

"... SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONGGGGGGGGGGGGG..."

"That attack name really sucks, you know."

"... BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTT!"

Then the Cactusmon blasted the kids with their copyrighted Digimon attack, "Really Stupid Song Blast!" Thus, they flew off in different directions with different songs that like to rot your brain!

Meanwhile, in the middle of a random desert in the middle of nowhere.

Takuya and Izumi had just landed in the middle of a random desert in the middle of nowhere. You just saw that joke coming, didn't you? Anywho, Takuya was charred to a crisp and lying in a crumpled heap next to Izumi who apparently didn't have a scratch on her.

"My eardrums seem to be bleeding. Quite an attack," the girl noted.

"Owww..." groaned Takuya. "Why am I always the one to get seriously injured!"

"Why don't you ask the author?" suggested Izumi.

"Not an original idea, but a good one."

And so with the magic power of plotholes, Takuya entered through one and ended up in dun, dunnnn, DUNNNNNNNN... Karoru Corporations™! Patent pending.

Takuya started to walk around. It was like a big animation studio, but full of anime characters and some from other cartoons. The cast of Hamtaro were drinking coffee at the snack table. The –insert cartoon characters of your choice- were playing the GameCube. And the Tamers from season three were bound and gagged over in a dark corner never to be seen again! Oops, I'm getting a little off topic here. So, continuing, Takuya finally came to this big office-building-looking-place and walked in. He walked further into the office and behind the desk was... Jingle!

"I demand to talk to the author!" demanded Takuya.

"The author wishes for you to have an appointment, like the grain of sand waiting to be washed away. Do you have one?" Jingle questioned while strumming on his guitar.

"Um, nope. Do I need one?"

"Not really. I'm just paid to say that."

After that, he stepped into my office.

Karoru: Why, hello... Mr. Takuya.

Karoru erupted in evil laughter, complete with a lightning crash in the background.

"... right. I just came to ask you a question."

Karoru: Ask away.

"Well, I was just wondering... Why must I always be subjected to pain!"

Karoru:taps chin: Good question. Although, I've been trying to give you a break. But I would suppose it's for comic relief.

"You call this comedy?"

Karoru: Hm, I see your point. I won't do anything else to you, if...

"If... ?"

Karoru: If you let me wear your goggle hat. That would be just so spiffy!

"Never!"

Karoru: Aw, c'mon!

"No one touches the goggles!" He crossed his arms and stepped out.

Karoru: Hmph. He seems to forget who he's dealing with!

Takuya jumped back out of the plothole to where Izumi was.

"So how'd it go?" asked Izumi. "Is the author going to stop subjecting you to painful torture?"

"Uh, she didn't exactly say that. But I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, right?"

"Well, then let's just keep going," said Izumi.

"Sure thing!" said Takuya.

But as Takuya started walking, he tripped and fell flat on his face!

"Ow."

"Are you sure it's nothing to worry about?"

"I just tripped! It wasn't the author!" shouted Takuya.

Takuya got sand up his pants.

"Sand wedgie!"

Izumi hit him on the head. "Too much information!"

Takuya's D-Scanner spontaneously combusted and blew him up!

"Ow. Ow. Ow," said a very charred Takuya.

The D-Scanner returned to normal.

Izumi sighed.

"It wasn't the author! It was a fluke!"

The D-Scanner blew up again and bombs dropped on him from the sky! Blasting him into the ground and charring him even more.

"Are you sure it's not the author?" Izumi asked sarcastically.

"Okay, okay... so maybe it's the author... THEY SHALL MUST PAY."

Meanwhile, at somewhere else.

"Hey, do you guys ever get the feeling that we're being read?" asked Junpei. "And you do have to wonder who's reading us..."

Junpei, Kouji, and Tomoki slowly faced the camera and screamed.

End of chapter 4.

What crazy adventures lie in store for our heroes? Now that Takuya and Izumi are alone, will there finally be any romance? What the hell is going on here! Find out this on the next episode of dunn, duuunn, DUUUUNNN Dragonball Z! Er, I mean A Funny Frontier Tale!