A Funny Frontier Tale
By Super Karoru
Chapter 6: Conversations and Roasted Cacti
Now onward to our tale!
--
When we last left our heroes, they had been "attacked" by their evil dub selves! They ended up chasing them down into dark plotholes never to be seen and their evil and terrible voices never to be heard from again! Now it's night time and Takuya and Izumi are still in that desert and are now are sitting next to each other by a makeshift campfire.
--
"Man, I'm starving!" exclaimed Takuya. "Chasing down dark and demented versions of yourself really works up an appetite."
"Well, don't look at me," responded Izumi.
"Do you think cactuses are edible?" the goggle boy asked, looking around at the scenery.
"Beats me."
"Hey, since there are meat apples, there should be meat cactuses!
"Meat cactuses? Riiight."
"I don't see you coming up with any ideas!"
"Well, my ideas sure wouldn't include meat cactuses."
"Whatever."
"Hmph."
They sat in silence for a few moments. Then Takuya got up and walked over to a little clump of cacti and attempted to pull a few out and avoid the needles, but he wasn't so successful.
"Ow! Dammit!"
Izumi stifled a couple of giggles.
"At least having a needle stuck in your hand is better than having it stuck in your butt!" he called out.
She stopped laughing and just stuck her tongue out at him. He then walked back over with a couple of un-needled cacti and then started to roast them over the fire.
"I still don't think cacti are edible, Takuya."
"Well, there's only one way to find out!" he responded while handing her a very charred piece of cactus. "I hope it's low in carbs! Ha ha ha!"
Izumi slapped her forehead. Then they both took bites out of the roast cacti and... immediately spit it out.
"Ugh, this sucks! Bleagh!" said Izumi, while tossing the cacti aside. "I told you they weren't edible!"
"Okay, okay. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all... But you can't blame a guy for trying, right?"
"Yes. Yes, I can."
"Dammit."
They sat there with nothing to do, but taste the flavor of burnt cactus in their mouths. Neither could think of anything to say to the other. Then they both realized that they had never actually been alone like this before, with the others probably miles away. With absolutely no one around. They were all alone. With each other. Oh my, raging hormones!
"So, um..." started Takuya.
"Uhm..." said Izumi.
"Yeah."
"Yep."
"..."
"..."
"Is this conversation going anywhere?"
"Not really."
They both sighed.
"I'm still hungry," said Takuya.
"Are you going to try to roast some sand now?" joked Izumi.
"Haha. Very funny," he responded sarcastically.
--
Commercial time!
Commercial Number One:
Scene opens to a stage with some bright spotlights and exercise equipment and Junpei is jumping around in a tight pink and purple striped leotard.
Junpei: And jump! And kick! And stretch! Welcome to my infomercial! Today I will be selling my latest product, "The Junpei Weight-loss Program"! As you can see, it's worked wonders for me!
Audience: Uh. Riiight.
Junpei: And today it's for a special offer! Only 999 easy payments of $999.99! Isn't that great?
Crickets start chirping in the background.
Junpei: So call now!
Gullible Idiot: Wait! What's the number?!
Commercial Number Two:
Scene opens up in one of those depressing black and white sequences.
Narrator: Do you find yourself horrified and becoming trapped in the dark black hole known as... the dub?
Scene switches to a slow-motion black and white scene with Tomoki screaming while looking at the television.
Narrator: If so call, 1-666-help-I'm-horrified-and-becoming-trapped-in-the-dark-blackhole-known-as-the-dub-I-really-need-help-help-me-now!-oh-no-I-just-accidentally-used-the-dub-names-in-my-fanfic-this-dub-is-really-killing-me-I'm-dying-over-here-ahhh-I'm-telling-you-to-help-me-but-I'm-too-busy-dialing-this-too-f'cking-long-number!-ack-the-curse-of-the-evil-dub-version-is-upon-us!
Commercial Number Three:
Narrator: From the producers of '"The Crocodile Hunter", comes a new exotic series on the network known as Digimon Planet... It's "The Neemon Hunter"!
The scene shifts to a desert where a big crocodile is standing there wearing one of those Australian-type-hats.
Crocmon: 'ello, mates! I'm Crocmon! Or better known as... The Neemon Hunter!
An unsuspecting Neemon walks by.
Crocmon: Crikey! Would ya look at the ears on that'ta one!
He pounces on the Neemon.
Neemon: AHHH!!
Crocmon: And as you can see, it ain't no 'bute.
Neemon: HEY!
Crocmon: Now let's check it's gender!
Neemon: ... Uh oh.
End commercials.
--
We go back to the desert where Takuya and Izumi are staring at us and looking utterly confused.
"Okay, could someone please tell me... What the hell was that?!" yelled Takuya.
"That's what I'd like to know!" yelled Izumi. "I'd also like to know how Junpei got into that spandex."
--
Meanwhile, in a random jungle.
"Do you guys feel neglected by the author, too?" asked Junpei.
"Yeah," said Kouji.
"I wonder what Izumi and Takuya-onnichan are doing right now," said Tomoki.
Oh yes, what are they "doing"? Heehee!
"And what is that supposed to mean?" asked Junpei, raising an eyebrow.
Oh, nothing. ::disappears::
"Well, that was strange," said Tomoki.
"So what do we do now?" asked Kouji.
Junpei and Tomoki glared at him.
"What? What'd I say?"
--
Meanwhile, in a random forest.
"Bokomon, would you please read me a bedtime story?" Neemon asked.
"Okay. How about the one about the stupid yellow Digimon who wouldn't leave the book-holding Digimon alone in peace?"
"Yay! Tell me that one!"
Bokomon sighed. "You're hopeless."
--
Back with Takuya and Izumi.
"All this insanity and craziness is tiring," mused Takuya, nodding sagely.
"Yep," Izumi stated in agreement.
"And you know what else, Izumi?"
"What?"
"I still hungry," he began to fake cry.
"Oh, brother..."
"I also tired." He keeled over backwards and dozed off while Izumi stared in bewilderment. She shrugged, and went to sleep as well... but they were back to back! Damn, so close too! Mwahahah... ::cough::
--
Three hours later in the same place.
Izumi was fast asleep, while Takuya had woken up and couldn't get back to sleep.
"I - want - sleep!" he whispered to himself. He was very tired from all the previous insanity they had to go through, but insomnia just tends to strike in the strangest places. Well, no wonder I can't sleep, I'm freaked out by what could happen next on this crazy quest, he thought, trying to think of a reasonable... reason he couldn't get back to into slumber.
He sighed and rolled on his back to look up at the stars. The stars didn't seem to have any pattern to them. He looked over at Izumi. Well, at least I'm stuck out here with someone instead of cold and alone. Even if she tried to kill me one too many times. It could be worse! He closed his eyes to at least try to get back to sleep, but then he felt a weight on his left side. He opened his eyes at there was Izumi! How... convenient. Apparently, she had turned over in her sleep and was now lying against Takuya's chest. He blushed and felt uncomfortable for a moment, but then relaxed.
Maybe this quest won't be so bad after all, he thought. Hachachachacha!
End of chapter 6.
Scandalous, isn't it? Stick around for chapter 7 of A Funny Frontier Tale!
By Super Karoru
Chapter 6: Conversations and Roasted Cacti
Now onward to our tale!
--
When we last left our heroes, they had been "attacked" by their evil dub selves! They ended up chasing them down into dark plotholes never to be seen and their evil and terrible voices never to be heard from again! Now it's night time and Takuya and Izumi are still in that desert and are now are sitting next to each other by a makeshift campfire.
--
"Man, I'm starving!" exclaimed Takuya. "Chasing down dark and demented versions of yourself really works up an appetite."
"Well, don't look at me," responded Izumi.
"Do you think cactuses are edible?" the goggle boy asked, looking around at the scenery.
"Beats me."
"Hey, since there are meat apples, there should be meat cactuses!
"Meat cactuses? Riiight."
"I don't see you coming up with any ideas!"
"Well, my ideas sure wouldn't include meat cactuses."
"Whatever."
"Hmph."
They sat in silence for a few moments. Then Takuya got up and walked over to a little clump of cacti and attempted to pull a few out and avoid the needles, but he wasn't so successful.
"Ow! Dammit!"
Izumi stifled a couple of giggles.
"At least having a needle stuck in your hand is better than having it stuck in your butt!" he called out.
She stopped laughing and just stuck her tongue out at him. He then walked back over with a couple of un-needled cacti and then started to roast them over the fire.
"I still don't think cacti are edible, Takuya."
"Well, there's only one way to find out!" he responded while handing her a very charred piece of cactus. "I hope it's low in carbs! Ha ha ha!"
Izumi slapped her forehead. Then they both took bites out of the roast cacti and... immediately spit it out.
"Ugh, this sucks! Bleagh!" said Izumi, while tossing the cacti aside. "I told you they weren't edible!"
"Okay, okay. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all... But you can't blame a guy for trying, right?"
"Yes. Yes, I can."
"Dammit."
They sat there with nothing to do, but taste the flavor of burnt cactus in their mouths. Neither could think of anything to say to the other. Then they both realized that they had never actually been alone like this before, with the others probably miles away. With absolutely no one around. They were all alone. With each other. Oh my, raging hormones!
"So, um..." started Takuya.
"Uhm..." said Izumi.
"Yeah."
"Yep."
"..."
"..."
"Is this conversation going anywhere?"
"Not really."
They both sighed.
"I'm still hungry," said Takuya.
"Are you going to try to roast some sand now?" joked Izumi.
"Haha. Very funny," he responded sarcastically.
--
Commercial time!
Commercial Number One:
Scene opens to a stage with some bright spotlights and exercise equipment and Junpei is jumping around in a tight pink and purple striped leotard.
Junpei: And jump! And kick! And stretch! Welcome to my infomercial! Today I will be selling my latest product, "The Junpei Weight-loss Program"! As you can see, it's worked wonders for me!
Audience: Uh. Riiight.
Junpei: And today it's for a special offer! Only 999 easy payments of $999.99! Isn't that great?
Crickets start chirping in the background.
Junpei: So call now!
Gullible Idiot: Wait! What's the number?!
Commercial Number Two:
Scene opens up in one of those depressing black and white sequences.
Narrator: Do you find yourself horrified and becoming trapped in the dark black hole known as... the dub?
Scene switches to a slow-motion black and white scene with Tomoki screaming while looking at the television.
Narrator: If so call, 1-666-help-I'm-horrified-and-becoming-trapped-in-the-dark-blackhole-known-as-the-dub-I-really-need-help-help-me-now!-oh-no-I-just-accidentally-used-the-dub-names-in-my-fanfic-this-dub-is-really-killing-me-I'm-dying-over-here-ahhh-I'm-telling-you-to-help-me-but-I'm-too-busy-dialing-this-too-f'cking-long-number!-ack-the-curse-of-the-evil-dub-version-is-upon-us!
Commercial Number Three:
Narrator: From the producers of '"The Crocodile Hunter", comes a new exotic series on the network known as Digimon Planet... It's "The Neemon Hunter"!
The scene shifts to a desert where a big crocodile is standing there wearing one of those Australian-type-hats.
Crocmon: 'ello, mates! I'm Crocmon! Or better known as... The Neemon Hunter!
An unsuspecting Neemon walks by.
Crocmon: Crikey! Would ya look at the ears on that'ta one!
He pounces on the Neemon.
Neemon: AHHH!!
Crocmon: And as you can see, it ain't no 'bute.
Neemon: HEY!
Crocmon: Now let's check it's gender!
Neemon: ... Uh oh.
End commercials.
--
We go back to the desert where Takuya and Izumi are staring at us and looking utterly confused.
"Okay, could someone please tell me... What the hell was that?!" yelled Takuya.
"That's what I'd like to know!" yelled Izumi. "I'd also like to know how Junpei got into that spandex."
--
Meanwhile, in a random jungle.
"Do you guys feel neglected by the author, too?" asked Junpei.
"Yeah," said Kouji.
"I wonder what Izumi and Takuya-onnichan are doing right now," said Tomoki.
Oh yes, what are they "doing"? Heehee!
"And what is that supposed to mean?" asked Junpei, raising an eyebrow.
Oh, nothing. ::disappears::
"Well, that was strange," said Tomoki.
"So what do we do now?" asked Kouji.
Junpei and Tomoki glared at him.
"What? What'd I say?"
--
Meanwhile, in a random forest.
"Bokomon, would you please read me a bedtime story?" Neemon asked.
"Okay. How about the one about the stupid yellow Digimon who wouldn't leave the book-holding Digimon alone in peace?"
"Yay! Tell me that one!"
Bokomon sighed. "You're hopeless."
--
Back with Takuya and Izumi.
"All this insanity and craziness is tiring," mused Takuya, nodding sagely.
"Yep," Izumi stated in agreement.
"And you know what else, Izumi?"
"What?"
"I still hungry," he began to fake cry.
"Oh, brother..."
"I also tired." He keeled over backwards and dozed off while Izumi stared in bewilderment. She shrugged, and went to sleep as well... but they were back to back! Damn, so close too! Mwahahah... ::cough::
--
Three hours later in the same place.
Izumi was fast asleep, while Takuya had woken up and couldn't get back to sleep.
"I - want - sleep!" he whispered to himself. He was very tired from all the previous insanity they had to go through, but insomnia just tends to strike in the strangest places. Well, no wonder I can't sleep, I'm freaked out by what could happen next on this crazy quest, he thought, trying to think of a reasonable... reason he couldn't get back to into slumber.
He sighed and rolled on his back to look up at the stars. The stars didn't seem to have any pattern to them. He looked over at Izumi. Well, at least I'm stuck out here with someone instead of cold and alone. Even if she tried to kill me one too many times. It could be worse! He closed his eyes to at least try to get back to sleep, but then he felt a weight on his left side. He opened his eyes at there was Izumi! How... convenient. Apparently, she had turned over in her sleep and was now lying against Takuya's chest. He blushed and felt uncomfortable for a moment, but then relaxed.
Maybe this quest won't be so bad after all, he thought. Hachachachacha!
End of chapter 6.
Scandalous, isn't it? Stick around for chapter 7 of A Funny Frontier Tale!