A Funny Frontier Tale
By Super Karoru
Chapter 7: The Beast Spirits' New Mission, Part 1

Now onward to our tale!

--

You people remember what happened last chapter, right? You do? Good. Now I will yet again use my freaky author powers and invade the dreams of our two favorite Chosen Children.

--

Takuya's Dream Sequence

Takuya was walking around in a bright white endless abyss.

"Hellooooo?" he yelled out. His voice seemed to echo all around him. "Weird."

Suddenly, he teleported to a little room, and was now sitting in a school desk with there was a blackboard and a podium in front of him.

"Don't tell me I'm back in school!" he exclaimed, fearing for his life.

"Cool it, Takuya," said another voice. It sounded very similar to Takuya's voice, but rougher.

"Okay, who just said that? Why won't someone tell me these things?"

"It was only me," said the voice as he stepped up to Takuya. But he wasn't human. He looked like a cross between Greymon and Birdramon. It was... Vritramon! Only much shorter.

"What the hell? You're supposed to be me!"

"Correction: I am part of you. And this is your dreaming subconscious, after all," Vritramon responded.

"Oh yeah... But then tell me, why does this place look like a classroom?"

"Because I'm here to teach you something."

Vritramon took out a long pointer stick and whacked Takuya on the head with it.

"Ow!"

"Now pay attention! This is important information."

"What's so important about it?" asked Takuya.

"SILENCE! Class has now begun!"

"But--"

"I SAID SILENCE!"

"B--"

"You really don't want to tick of the Beast Form of a Legendary Warrior."

"Shutting up now."

"Good."

Vritramon walked up to the blackboard and started to write out his name.

"Good morning class," he said. He began to slowly spell it out, doubting Takuya's intelligence. "I am Seeeeennnnn - seeeeiiiiiiiiiiiii. Vrrriiiiiiiiiiiii - traaaaaaaaaaaa - moooooonnnnnnnN."

"I know who you are!"

"ROAR!"

"Shutting up now."

"Now, today's lesson is very important."

"What's it about?"

"Something that you really, really, really, really, really, care about and love."

"And what's that?"

"Guess," Vritramon said, dully.

"Uh, my mom?"

"That's not what the lesson is about."

"My dad?"

"No."

"My brother?"

"Nope."

"Food?"

"No, damn it!"

"Then what is it?!"

"I'll give you a hint. It starts with an 'Izumi' and ends with an 'Orimoto'."

Takuya stared blankly. Crickets chirped in the background.

Vritramon slapped his forehead. "It's Izumi, damn it!"

"Izumi?" asked Takuya.

"Yes."

"So you just brought me here to tell me something important about Izumi?"

"Yes!"

"Uh, look, Vritramon, I already know about that monthly girl thing."

Vritramon's eyes widened. "NOT THAT SORT OF THING."

"Then what?"

"I'll be blunt. I'm here to tell you to tell Izumi... the depths of your passion for her!"

"My... what?"

"You heard me."

"But... I... err..."

"SILENCE!"

Vritramon whacked Takuya with the stick again.

"Ow!"

"So?" asked Vritramon.

"So what?"

"Are you going to tell Izumi the depths of your passion for her?"

"Hell no!"

"And why not?"

"If she slapped the living daylights out of me when we fell into that hole and were 'hugging' in episode two and when I, uh, 'accidentally' touched her butt to get that needle out in chapter two of this story, imagine what she'd do if I said I loved her or tried to kiss her or something! She'd probably Spirit Evolve and rip me to shreds!" Takuya shouted while flailing his arms about.

"Hmm... good point. Uh, I mean, you must tell her!"

"Why?"

"Because it's not good to keep your feelings inside?"

"You sound more like a guidance counselor than a Legendary Warrior."

"Whatever. JUST TELL HER THE DEPTHS OF YOUR PASSION FOR HER OR I WILL BE FORCED TO HURT YOU! Ending dream sequence and time to wake up now," said Vritramon as he snapped his fingers. Everything started to get blurry and bright.

"Hey, wait just a second! Ahhh!! ..."

--

Izumi's Dream Sequence

Izumi is walking in a place very much similar to Takuya's encounter.

"Hey, what am I doing here? I was having an extremely nice Takuya dream!" she yelled as her voice also echoed.

"You're too young for such things," said another voice very similar to Izumi's.

"Who's there? Why won't someone tell me these things?"

"It's just me," said the voice as she stepped up to Izumi. But she wasn't human. She looked like a cross between Harpymon and Angewomon. It was... Shutumon! Only lacking from her normal height.

"Oh, hi, Shutumon!" Izumi said, happily.

"Yes, hello, okay, yeah. Let's go to that classroom because I'm here to tell you something important," Shutumon said, dully.

Blah blah blah, we've been through this before.

"Why are we in a classroom?" asked Izumi.

"Important stuff. I'm Sensei Shutumon. Just take this test."

"Test?"

"It's a love test."

"Oh, okay."

She handed Izumi a piece a paper with the test on it and a pencil.

The test went as such:

1. Who do you think is the hottest guy around?
a) Takuya.
b) Takuya.
c) Takuya.
d) All of the above.

2. Who do you constantly fantasize and have "thoughts" about?
a) Takuya.
b) Takuya.
c) Takuya.
d) All of the above mentioned.

3. Who would you most definitely like to following taken out due to content?
a) Takuya.
b) The goggle boy leader named Takuya.
c) The guy with the surname of 'Kanbara' and the first name of 'Takuya'.
d) All of the above.

Izumi blushed a deeper and deeper crimson after reading each question. Especially question three, if you get my meaning.

"What kind of a love test is this?!"

"But for you, every answer is correct. You absolutely can't fail."

"This test is rigged is what it is!"

"Ah, denial ain't just a river in Egypt..."

"What is that supposed to mean?!"

"Okay, I'll be blunt. I'm here to tell you to tell Takuya the depths of your passion for him. So go to it!"

"... Wait a second! My depths of passion for Takuya?!"

"Just do it or I will be forced to hurt you. Ending dream sequence and time to wake up now," said Shutumon as she snapped her fingers. Everything started to get bright and blurry.

"Wait! Ahh! You didn't answer my question, damn it! ..."

--

Back by popular demand, it's more commercials!

Commercial 1:
Scene opens to inside of a store and Tomoki walks out in a business suit, still wearing his giant hat.
Tomoki: I have opened my new store and I'm here to sell my latest product to you!
He picks up an object.
Tomoki: Is your hat too big for your head? If so, you need... "The Custom Tomoki Neck Brace"!
He puts on the neck brace.
Tomoki: I tell you, before "The Custom Tomoki Neck Brace", my neck was killing me because my hat was bigger than my freakin' head! Let's hear from a happy customer!
Scene shifts to a Toucanmon wearing the neck brace, but he's turning blue and choking.
Toucanmon: ::cough:: Help! ::cough-cough:: Can't - breathe - too - tight! ::collapses::
Goes back to Tomoki.
Tomoki: Uh, well, err... Just buy "The Custom Tomoki Neck Brace" today!
He takes off the neck brace and falls on his head to the floor.

Commercial 2:
Scene opens and we see Kouji, sitting on a couch eating pizza.
Kouji: Remember, it's not delivery. It's Digi-jorno!
He winks into the camera while giving a very cheesy thumbs-up.

Commercial 3:
Scene opens to library Bokomon is standing there.
Bokomon: 'ello! I'm here with my new product, aimed right towards the nit-picky fans of our show!
My, they're all for endorsement, aren't they?
Bokomon: When I'm not busy reading from a book as big as my upper body, I'm busy writing a book! It's called "1001 Ways to Kill the Dubbers!"!
He holds up the book for all to see and behold its magnificent glory.
Bokomon: This book contains one-thousand and one glorious ways to torture and kill the dubbers easily and environmentally-friendly, but still getting a major enjoyment out of it! Let's show you an example!
The following has been taken out due to graphic content, so may you view these pleasant scenes instead.
Shows a field of flowers, but with horrible screaming and the noise of chainsaws in the background.
Shows cute little puppy dogs and kitty cats jumping around but with someone screaming "Please, help me! I don't deserve this kind of torture!" in the background.
Scene goes back to Bokomon who is looking quite happy, but there is red liquid all over the walls.
Bokomon: So buy "1001 Ways to Kill the Dubbers!" at your local book store today!

End commercials.

--

Takuya and Izumi were still asleep. Izumi was lying against Takuya's chest.

(Cue the deep-voice reading! It adds to the mood.)

Now they have been sent on their missions to tell each other their true feelings! And if they fail, then the Beast Spirit Sensei Vritramon and Shutumon will severely hurt them! It's a quest in a quest! For the truth! Those true feelings and the depths of their passion for each other must be revealed, or so help us all!

(You can return to normal now.)

By remarkable coincidence, they started to wake up at the exact same time. As they were waking up, they both realized exactly the 'positions' they were in. OH MY, SCANDAL!

"Eep!" exclaimed Takuya. "My, what an awkward situation. Ah heh heh."

Izumi didn't find it so amusing, however. But she regained her composure, and realized she was still starving. Takuya was hungry too. Oh no, famine! Bah, now I'm feeling sorry for 'em... so... a plothole opened a few feet from them and out popped one little riceball. This certainly caught Takuya and Izumi's attention. They both stared at the one riceball. They looked towards each other. The riceball. Each other. The only food in the vicinity. Their very hungry enemy.

"Heheh. Well what do ya know? One… little… riceball," Takuya chuckled.

"Yep. Yep. Yeppers. Just one little tiny riceball. Heheh," Izumi responded.

"IT'S MINE!"

They both pounced on the riceball and began a battle to the death for it. But what they didn't see were chibi forms of Vritramon and Shutumon standing behind a patch of palm trees, watching the grudge match.

"Well, so much for confessing the depths of their passion to the other," sighed Vritramon, shaking his head.

"Who'll tear off the other's limbs first?" Shutumon wondered.

End of chapter 7.

Will the Beast Spirit Sensei Vritramon and Shutumon succeed in their mission? Who will win the riceball battle? What new "situations" will Takuya and Izumi get into next? Where the hell are the others? Why was this chapter so short? Will this story ever make any sense? Find out next time on A Funny Frontier Tale! Or not, and you'll forever be tortured. Who knows?