A Funny Frontier Tale Chapter 8: The Beast Spirits' New Mission, Part 2, a digimon fanfic

A Funny Frontier Tale
By Super Karoru
Chapter 8: The Beast Spirit's New Mission, Part 2

Now onward to our tale!

"Give me the damn riceball, Takuya!"

"I don't think so, cactus butt!"

Takuya and Izumi were still fighting over that one little morsel of food. You'd be surprised at how much energy they have since they haven't eaten in at least six chapters, but I suppose hunger is a good motivator. Expletives flew back and forth, combined with threats, which was quite interesting to listen to if you weren't currently involved in the quarrel. Unbeknownst to them, Vritramon and Shutumon gazed upon the scene from a relatively safe distance.

"They're not getting anywhere at this rate," Vritramon sighed.

"Maybe it's a lover's quarrel?" suggested Shutumon.

Vritramon sighed again. "Look, we haven't been sent on this mission for nothing!"

"Then what are we doing here?"

"Are you just being dumb on purpose to further frustrate me?"

"Dumb?"

Vritramon slapped his forehead.

Back to the Takuya and Izumi grudge match.

"Oww! Jeez!" shouted Takuya as he grabbed his wrist. "Did you just bite me?"

"Of course not."

"Oh, good... hey, waitjustaminute!"

"Har har!"

Currently in the jungle where Kouji, Junpei, and Tomoki happen to be placed.

"So what do we do now? So what do we do now? So - what - do - we - do - NOW?!" asked Kouji, who had been repeating that same catchphrase for the past three hours.

"I... don't... know!" Junpei screeched, covering his ears. "Shut up! Just shut up!"

"Hey, have you guys noticed that we were not in the last chapter at all?" asked Tomoki.

"Hmmmm," said all three as they glanced toward the camera view.

Back to Takuya and Izumi.

"Grr."

They were now sitting directly across from each other having a staring contest to the death! Okay, maybe not to the death, but it's pretty hard not to blink when you're in the middle of a desert. And it was also hard not to advert one's hungry gaze to the riceball sitting in between them. Oh, the tension is just brutal!

"You've gotta blink sometime, Izumi," growled Takuya.

"Never!" Izumi growled back.

Over to the two Chibi Beast Senseis.

"Are they staring longingly into each other's eyes?" Shutumon wondered.

"No, they're not! ... Unfortunately," responded Vritramon.

"Too bad I don't have my camcorder."

"You have a camcorder?" the dragon creature questioned.

"Yeah, all the Beast Spirits have one!"

"That's crap! I didn't get one!"

Let's see what the lovely couple is doing, which is not on the topic of getting gypped from sensei benefits.

"Grr."

"Grrr!"

"ROAR!!

Takuya yelped, adding, "DON'T HURT ME!!"

Okay, maybe not anything interesting. Um, Bokomon and Neemon?

Currently in the conveniently unnamed forest.

"WUUUUUUUZZUUUUUUUP?!"

Definitely not there!

Maybe Kouji, Junpei, and Tomoki?

Wait a second... NO!

Back to the lovers! Er, I mean, Takuya and Izumi.

Still not blinking.

"Grr."

Ah, the hell with it, let's go to the commercials and hopefully Takuya and Izumi will have blinked by then.

Again, the commercials!

Commercial 1:Takuya's Eyecatch
The eyecatch starts playing. Takuya's disc-thingy flies into the screen. The symbol of fire glows and fire shoots past the screen.
Agnimon surfs in on the disc, but slips and falls off, causing the background picture to fall on top of him.
Agnimon: ... Ow. Makeup! I can't work in these conditions!

The commercial after Commercial 1 and before Commercial 3:
Narrator: Want to dress up for Halloween, but don't have enough money? No problem! We'll tell you how to make easy, cheap - and believable, of course - Digimon Frontier costumes! Dye yourself yellow, put on red sweatpants, squint your eyes and you'll look just like Neemon! Let's show you an example!
The view goes to a white backdrop, but no one is standing there.
Director (whispering): Psst, Takuya! That's your cue!
Takuya: I am not coming out looking like this!
Izumi: (holding a camera) Just come out already!
Takuya: NO!
Director: Just go! ::pushes Takuya out for everyone to see::
Takuya is standing there facing the camera painted yellow and wearing some baggy red pants. Loud snickers are heard from the audience.
Director (whispering again): Takuya! Squint your eyes and say the line!
Takuya: Grr, all right, all right... ::squints his eyes:: I'm just a Bakamon! Heeheehee! ::pose::
Izumi takes a picture and runs out while laughing insanely. Takuya stands there like a deer caught in headlights.
Director: Well, that was rather unexpected.
Takuya: Get back here!
Izumi: Can you say "blackmail"?
And so, the Neemon-ish-looking Takuya continues chasing Izumi around the studio trying to get her camera.
Narrator: Well, um, we'd show you the other examples, but... we don't have any.
Everyone slaps their forehead.
Neemon walks in and sees the Neemon-ish-looking Takuya.
Neemon: OH NO! It's my evil twin! ::runs out while flailing his arms about::

Commercial 3:
Television Announcer Person: We interrupt these highly entertaining commercials to bring you a special news report!
The view goes to a news desk and Kouji is sitting, shuffling some papers and being all news-like.
Kouji: This just in! There have been very recent callbacks on two products. These products are "The Junpei Weight-loss Program" and "The Custom Tomoki Neck Brace". Reason for callback: They were useless pieces of crap that didn't work and weren't worth any money whatsoever. Now back to whatever you were wasting your time on.

End commercials.

"Must... blink... can't... go... on..." groaned Takuya.

"Eyelids... dried... out..." said Izumi.

"OH, THE PAIN!"

They both finally gave in and blinked.

"Aha! You blinked!" they both shouted while pointing to each other.

"No, you blinked!"

"I win! You blinked! No, you blinked!"

"ARGH!!"

WAP! BAM! KAPOW! CARTOONY FIGHT SEQUENCE! CAPS LOCK!

Vritramon was now banging his head against a cactus, completely oblivious to the fact that the needles were sticking into his skull. All Shutumon could do was shake her head.

"Um, Vritramon, maybe this mission will be a little harder than we thought," said Shutumon.

"A little harder?!" he yelled back.

"Okay, a lot harder," she said, but suddenly broke out in wild giggles. "Hee hee, I said 'harder'."

Vritramon hit his head against the cactus again.

The two continued to try and pry the food out of each other's hands when they could easily just share the damn thing, but they just had to make it difficult... until Takuya spotted something.

"What is it?"

Takuya pointed. "Look over there."

She looked behind her. "It looks like..."

"An oasis!" he exclaimed gleefully.

"It's probably just a mirage."

"Well, there's only one way to find out!"

They both got up and ran toward the apparent oasis (and completely forgetting about the riceball... oh well). Sure enough, it was the real thing.

"Coolies!" they both said. Why they would say 'coolies' remains a mystery to this day. All of a sudden, they saw a weird object falling from the sky about to crash right where they were standing! Perfect timing.

"Uh oh," said Izumi.

"Oh, crap," said Takuya.

End of chapter 8.

What is the mysterious weird object about to crash into the newly discovered oasis? What the hell was up with Bokomon and Neemon? Why am I asking you questions? Find out next time in the next confusing chapter of A Funny Frontier Tale!