A Funny Frontier Tale Chapter 9: Craziness at the Oasis, a digimon fanfic

A Funny Frontier Tale
By Super Karoru
Chapter 9: Craziness at the Oasis

Now onward to our tale!

"Uh oh," said Izumi.

"Oh, crap," said Takuya.

They both screamed (rather girlishly, I might add) as they dodged the falling object. The thing crashed in between them, kicking up sand and certainly making a mess of things.

"What the heck was that?" exclaimed Izumi.

Whatever it was, it made its way up from the newly formed crater of sand. Why, it was... ! ... a squirrel.

"Hello!" it squeaked. "I'm Chippy, the magical squirrel! And I'm here to grant you three wishes!"

"Are you a Digimon?" asked Takuya.

"What? No! I'm just a run-of-the-mill squirrel. Well, er, except for the talking part. Can't semi-normal animals coexist with Digimon?"

"I've never thought of that before..."

"Then what were we eating in the place of chicken if no real chickens are in the Digital World?" questioned Izumi.

The scene switches to a Chickenmon.

"Help! My species is being killed everyday to be treated as tasty goodness! Stop the madness!!"

Takuya and Izumi looked up, wondering and making "hmmm" sounds.

"May I grant those wishes or not?"

"GET AWAY FROM ME, YA BASTARD SQUIRREL!" exclaimed Takuya, startling the two others in his vicinity. He proceeded to kick the squirrel, and it sailed off and away into the horizon.

"Why on earth did you kick that squirrel?" questioned Izumi.

"I dunno, I've just always wanted to kick a magical squirrel. And now I have! MY LIFE IS COMPLETE."

"... You have weird goals."

"So what do we do now?" asked Takuya, changing the subject.

That's Kouji's line!

"Oops, sorry. So, what now?"

"I... don't... know," responded Izumi.

"Well, we're supposed to say or do something funny and witty before there's a scene switch."

"But I can't think of anything!"

"Well, hurry up!"

"I'm thinking!"

"Wait a second! Nooo..."

Meanwhile, in a random jungle.

The squirrel stood up and brushed itself off. "Ah, so they decide to kick me, eh? Well, I'll show them!"

It morphed into a huge squirrel wizard with evil powers that could destroy the world. Oh no! Suddenly, it was shot.

"Hyuk hyuk hyuk, Billy Bob! We done have us some good eatin's tonight!"

Meanwhile, back with goggle boy and purple hat girl, it was now evening.

"Evening?" asked Takuya. "How'd it get to night so fast?"

"Plothole," stated Izumi.

Now it was time to set up camp at the oasis!

"Let us set up camp!" exclaimed Takuya.

Izumi sighed.

Let's see... What do they need to do? Oh yeah! Make a campfire!

"I guess we make a campfire now," said Takuya.

"Wow, you think?" asked Izumi, sarcastically.

Takuya and Izumi making a campfire together... How adorable!

"Shut up!" said the two.

Now it was time to look for food.

"I guess we--" started Takuya.

"Don't say it!"

Takuya and Izumi looking for food together... How equally adorable!

"Shut up! We're merely surviving!"

"Say, what is there to eat at this oasis, anyway?" asked Izumi.

They both saw a tree with meat apples on it.

"How are there meat apples in a desert?" asked Takuya.

They're, um... desert meat apples.

"Oh, okay," said the two.

It took quite a while to reach these apples. At first, they attempted to cut it down, but with nothing to slice the wood with, Izumi suggested Takuya's head could do the job. That didn't work very well. Next, they tried biting it. That didn't work well, either, and they ended up with tongue splinters. While they we sitting at the bottom, trying to think, a convenient desert wind blew by, which conveniently sent two apples from the tree plummeting towards the ground and into their laps. There was much rejoicing (and a bit of swearing on the side).

"And now we cook the apples!" exclaimed Takuya, while holding the apple up for all to see.

"No, you can eat the apple raw, Takuya. I don't mind if you get sick." Izumi smiled.

"Hey!"

It's time for a romantic dinner!

"SHUT UP."

Behind some nearby palm trees.

"Okay! This is it!" Vritramon began. "This time we will fulfill our mission!"

"What mission?" asked Shutumon.

Vritramon slapped his forehead in frustration. "The mission we've been sent on! You know, getting Takuya and Izumi to admit the depths of their passion for each other."

"Oh! That mission!"

"Yes, that mission. Okay, we need a plan!"

"So what's th--"

"And don't ask me what the plan is!"

"I have a plan!"

"And?"

"And what?" asked Vritramon.

"So what's the plan?"

"What plan?"

"The plan that you just said you had!"

"I had a plan?"

"Now you're being dumb!" she yelled.

"Um, look, okay. Here's the plan. I want you to go get Izumi alone, and..."

"You want me to hit on Izumi?"

"NO, YOU MORON!" Vritramon quickly calmed down, "I want you to go have a heart-to-heart talk with her."

"Awww, that sounds nice," Shutumon responded. "But, uh, what about?"

Vritramon sighed. "Damn it, woman! About Izumi's feelings for Takuya!"

"But how did you know Izumi had feelings for Takuya?"

"Um, good question. Anyway, just go and try and convince her to admit her feelings to Takuya while I'll do the same with him."

"You mean you want him to admit feelings to himself?"

"JUST GO."

"Okay, okay. I'm going, I'm going."

Shutumon scuttled over to Izumi since she and Takuya where now doing separate things... that require separate-ness. While Shutumon made this perilous journey, Vritramon made his way over toward Takuya. They were both wondering what their different reactions would be.

Vritramon stepped up to Takuya. (In super-chibified form, I should add.) Takuya didn't seem to notice him, as he was deep in thought.

"Um, hello, Takuya," said Vritramon, not sure how else to greet him.

That certainly snapped Takuya from his thoughts, and he adverted his gaze to the chibi Beast Form that had recently plagued his dreams.

"Vritramon! How the hell?!"

"Quiet! Quiet!" Vritramon exclaimed frantically. "Look, I'm here because I've been sent on a mission to fulfill and the only way I can fulfill it is if you fulfill your mission which I told you to fulfill so I could fulfill my mission!"

"... What?"

He sighed, "Just go tell Izumi you love her, okay?"

"What?!"

"I said..."

"No, no. I heard what you said, but... What?!"

"This is going to be a little harder than I thought," groaned Vritramon.

Meanwhile, over with Izumi and Shutumon.

"Hey, Izumi!"

"Oh, hi, Shutumon!" Izumi responded cheerfully.

"You're probably wondering what I'm doing here," said Shutumon.

"Well, no. Not really."

"Well, anyway, I'm here because I've been sent on a mission to fulfill and the only way I can fulfill it is if you fulfill your mission which I told you to fulfill so I could fulfill my mission."

"Oh, okay. That makes perfect sense."

"Good. So you're going to tell Takuya that you love him?"

"... What?!"

"Maybe that love test was a little off," Shutumon wondered.

- - -

Meanwhile (jeez, what's with all the meanwhiles?), over with the confused goggle boy and the dragon whose patience was wearing thin.

"So, exactly when are you going to tell Izumi that you love her? Because there's no point in denying it!" asked Vritramon.

"Well, um, I really didn't think about that. I mean, well, what would I say?"

"How about the words 'I love you, Izumi'?"

"That'd be too easy."

Vritramon slapped his forehead again. "Well, I'll tell you what."

"What?" asked Takuya.

"You figure out the dialogue while we'll set the 'mood'." Oh my goodness! Take that as you will!

But before Takuya could respond, Vritramon had walked off.

"The 'mood'? But what am I gonna say? ... Hey, what did he mean 'we'll'? Is he plotting against me with another?!"

Provisionally (another word for meanwhile)!

"What the hell am I supposed to say to Takuya?!" the frantic blonde asked Shutumon.

"How 'bout the words 'I love you Takuya"?"

"That's too hard."

Shutumon sighed. "Um, how about you figure out your exact words while we'll set the 'mood'? Hee hee hee," Shutumon giggled, obviously thinking the same thing about the word "mood" as some of the more corrupted people in the audience.

But before Izumi could get her say in, Shutumon had scuttled away. She certainly likes to scuttle.

"Mood? Hm, I guess I could tell Takuya my deepest darkest secret that I've loved him ever since I met him." Love at first sight! Believe me, I'm not forcing any couplings! "... Hey, what'd she mean by 'we'll'?"

Later, after some contemplating to themselves, Takuya and Izumi finally got enough guts to go and talk to each other.

"Uh, um... Hey, Izumi..." Takuya said nervously.

"Uh, hi, Takuya..." Izumi said just as nervously.

"Listen, there's, um, something I want to tell you."

"Yes?"

They started to hear romantic piano music in the background from a certain Disney movie. They looked deeply into each other's eyes. You know, like one of those corny love scenes. Begin... now! Piano music started to get louder with other background instruments joining in. Then Takuya started to sing! Very professionally, I might add. They both took this very normally, for some strange reason.

"I can show you the Digi-World..." Takuya sang. "Shining, shimmering, splendid! Tell me, Izumi, now when did you last let your heart decide?"

More piano music. Izumi started getting all starry-eyed.

"I can open your eyes... Take you through this quest, it's a wonder. Over, sideways, and under on a crazy Trailmon ride... A whole new Digi-World! A new evolution point of view! No one to tell us no, or where this quest goes! I just know I'm not dreaming..."

Izumi started to sing (also very professionally)!

"A whole new Digi-World! A place that seemed I always knew... Now that we're way out here... It's crystal-clear... That now I'm in a whole new Digi-World with you!"

How the heck do they know the words? Have they been rehearsing?

"Now I'm in a whole new Digi-World with you!" sang Takuya.

Then they both started gracefully walking around the oasis as Izumi continued singing. "Unbelievable sights! Indescribable feeling! Questing, evolving, free-wheeling under this endless diamond sky!" The stars twinkled as if on cue. "A whole new Digi-World!"

"Don't you dare give up the quest!" sang Takuya.

"How much more further?"

"It can't get any better!"

Izumi continued to sing as they both stood next to each other. "We're like shooting stars! We've come so far! I can't even remember where we're supposed to be..."

"A whole new Digi-World!"

"Every turn, there's some surprise!"

"With new horizons..."

"Every moment gets better!"

Then they both sang together while turning toward each other. "I'll chase you anywhere! But there's no time to spare! Let me share this whole new Digi-World with you..."

"A whole new Digi-World..." sang Takuya.

Izumi's cue. "A whole new Digi-World..."

"That's where we'll be!"

"A crazy chase..."

"But a wondrous place..."

Then they both sang. "For you and me..." Now, this would be a great time for them to kiss, don't you think? Puh-lease, that would be so predictable, and... oh wait, never mind, they just did.

Meanwhile, in a random forest.

"Did you just hear piano music and two people singing, Bokomon?" asked Neemon.

"No. But let's make a promise," said Bokomon.

"What?"

"That we will never get into the magic mushroom garden again!"

"Agreed!"

Dun dunn dunnn! The mystery is solved! But let's get back to Takuya and Izumi, shall we?

We go back to the oasis and we see our favorite little couple sitting next to each other by the water, and Izumi is leaning her head on Takuya's shoulder.

"I wuv ya, Izumi!"

"I love me too!"

Takuya glared.

"Just kidding. I love you too. But I didn't know you could sing that well."

"Me neither!"

Over at where Vritramon and Shutumon are at.

"Yes! We succeeded in our mission! We did it, Vritramon!" Shutumon shouted happily as she observed the lovey-dovey scene by the water.

"Yeah, good thing I took those piano lessons, huh?" he responded with a grin.

And so, the two Beast Spirits were very happy, but Takuya and Izumi were even happier as they had finally told each other their true feelings and gotten one heck of a load off their minds! Yes, everyone, that's your cue to say "AWWWWWW".

"AWWWWWW!"

End of chapter 9.

What the hell am I smoking? Perhaps you'll find out next time on A Funny Frontier Tale!