A Funny Frontier Tale
By Super Karoru
Chapter 12: Dazzling Show
Now onward to our tale!
We open to the tropical island of Isle Delfino. At a communications tower, we see random Isle Delfinion #274 apparently trying to fix the problem.
"Okay, I think I've got it."
He switched one of those abnormally large switches, and…
"I am a genius!"
… electrocuted himself.
Alas, his efforts were not in vain. A wave was sent throughout the island, fixing the D-Scanners.
Unfortunately, the shock from the wave has electrocuted the Chosen Children after it had reverted them from their normal human states. They can use this predicament as an excuse to finally get a break.
We go down to the beach where we see the wonderful, the ever-amazing Chibi Beast Senseis Vritramon and Shutumon, who were currently lounging in beach chairs. Applaud them, for not for their valiant efforts, Takuya and Izumi would be trying to kill each other more so than usual!
"Thank you, thank you, for the wonderful introduction," Vritramon beamed.
No problem.
"Who're you talking to?" asked Shutumon.
"Never mind."
"Okie then!"
Shutumon put on some sunglasses, while Vritramon leaned further back in his chair.
"Well, we don't really have a point anymore since we succeeded in our mission about two or three chapters ago... but who cares? We're just so damn lovable!" said the ego-boosted Vritramon.
They began to hear another voice singing, eventually getting louder and louder.
"Here he comes! Here comes Garmmon Racer! He's a demon on wheels!"
"Eh?"
Making his debut was the Chibi Beast Sensei Garmmon! Who was wearing a helmet much like Speed Racer's.
"Hey dudes, wazzup?" asked CBS Garmmon.
"Well, not much. Just lounging," answered Vritramon.
"Lounging, lounging, loungiiiiing!" sang Shutumon.
"COOL, DUDES!" said Garmmon.
They started to hear banjo music.
"Wha?" asked Vritramon.
Then making his debut was CBS Blizzarmon who was wearing a Hawaiian shirt and had a banjo for some reason.
"We're having fuuun in the suuun!" sang Blizzarmon.
"Scary," commented Vritramon, mostly on the shirt.
They started to hear tank noises.
"I have arrived!" announced Bolgmon who looked like... Bolgmon.
"Oh, no. It's you," Vritramon scowled at the insect machine.
"Now, boys, can't we all just get along?" Shutumon asked. "Roughhouse leads to tears!"
Meanwhile, back in that secluded area on the island.
We find the Evil Hybrids now playing Monopoly. Thankfully, they were now wearing their clothes (if any) after the probably life-scarring Strip Poker game.
"Okay, y'all, I'm gonna buy Park Avenue!" said dub Ranamon as she moved her top hat piece onto the space.
"Wait, you can't buy Park Avenue! You've bought practically everything else on the board!" shouted Grottomon.
"Doth only says that because you own Boardwalk," said Mercurymon.
"You wanna make something of it, mirror boy?" demanded Grottomon as he stood up from his sitting position.
"I taketh offense to that remark!"
"Me say just let Ranamon buy the space. Grumblemon no care."
"And you! Stop referring to yourself in third-person all the time!" said the angry gnome to his dub counterpart.
"Yo, at least I own the Railroads," said dub Arbormon.
"What's with all the yos?" Arbormon asked his counterpart.
"Yo, whataya mean?"
Twitch.
"Doesth the proverb Hell hath no fury like a ticked-off gnome, meanth anything to ye?" Mercurymon asked the others.
"No," said Mercuremon, "but does the proberb Hell hath no fury like one aggravated warrior who's sick of your damned accent mean anything to you?"
"What does thou mean by that?"
They both stood up and, well, I can't say 'angrily faced' because they don't have faces.
"What are y'all going on about?" asked dub Ranamon.
"Enough with the Southern Belle accent, it's driving me crazy!" exclaimed original Ranamon as she glared at her evil-sounding dub counterpart.
Oh my, tensions are rising in the group!
"There is clearly only one way to settle this…" Mercuremon stated.
At the Celebrity Deathmatch arena.
The crowd is in yet another frenzy. What they didn't know is that this would be no ordinary match of carnage…
The Evil Hybrids met in the center of the ring, originals on one side and dubs on the other. Evil glares were coming from both sides.
The announcer box appeared again with the generic announcers, Joe and Steve.
"Well, we're back again with another installment of Celebrity Deathmatch!" Joe announced, being an announcer and all.
"But this time we've got the Evil Hybrids clashing at one another, Joe! This should prove to be an interesting match."
"Especially with the word that this won't be just another ordinary clash, Steve."
On the field.
"We can't just go and beat the crap out of each other," said Grottomon.
"That would be a rip-off last chapter," said Ranamon.
"Quite," agreed Mercuremon.
"Then what should we do?" asked Grumblemon.
The original Evil Hybrids pondered on that question. They all got their own mental flashbacks of their "dazzling entrance" in chapter ten and got devious grins.
"This will be the greatest match evah!" exclaimed Ranamon, cackling.
The dub Evil Hybrids gave them quizzical looks.
"We challenge you to a Dazzling Entrance Contest! Whoever has the best dazzling entrance wins!" proclaimed the original Evil H's.
"You're on!"
First entrance from the originals.
"Well, we can't to the Team Rocket motto again," Ranamon stated. "So many choices… Aha! I've got it!"
Dazzling entrance time!
All the strobe lights went off, causing everything to go into pitch dark, which would be impossible since this is set in the middle of the day, but oh well.
The Sailor Moon theme started playing.
"Stealing spirts by moonlight!
Also in daylight
Always loses in the fights!
She is the one named Ranamon Moon!"
"Sailor Grottomon!"
Grottomon jumped out of nowhere surrounded by pretty lights and wearing a... skirt. All the audience members spit out their popcorn.
"Sailor Mecuremon!"
"And Sailor Arbormon!"
"Always in some random fight!
She is the one named Ranamon Moon!
She is the one!
Ranamon Moon!" DUN!
Ranamon jumped out and saluted the audience, wearing the sailor outfit and a blonde wig with abnormally long pigtails.
Everyone spit out what was still left of their popcorn.
Those poor Chosen Children, still unconscious… or maybe that's a good thing.
First entrance from the dub Evil Hybrids.
"Okay! And one, two, three!"
Weird muzak began to play.
"Mighty Morphin' Evil Hybrid Rangers!"
Then each dub Evil Hybrid ran in wearing very strange solid-colored outfits, while doing very fake and corny "karate moves".
"Me the Big Hammer Ranger!" said Grottomon.
"I am the Mirror Ranger!" said Mercurymon.
"I'm the Water Ranger, y'all!" said Ranamon.
"Yo! Yo! And I be the Mafia Ranger!" said Arbormon, waving a gun.
More corny poses.
"Evil Hybrid Rangers! Huh!"
The crowd had nothing left to spit out by now, so they just stared.
Second entrance from the originals.
Disco music started playing as a disco ball descended from nowhere. Lights flashed and twirled all over the arena.
"Shake your groove thang! Shake your groove thang! Evil H style!"
They all stepped out into the ring wearing 70's attire and disco danced. No further details are necessary.
The dub's second entrance.
Patriotic sounding music started playing while pastel colors were in the background. A huge stone popped out from the middle of the ground.
"You will not win!"
"Especially at dazzling entrances!"
They jumped out of nowhere, while doing strange choreography moves, while still remaining balanced on the giant rock.
"We will cause all evil!"
"And disrupt peace in the Digi-World!"
"And we are called the… Evil H Colle Knights!"
Well, since the originals were not going to be beaten that easily, they decided to try and scare their evil dub counterparts into defeat. They all danced out wearing pink frilly tu-tus, and…
"Stop this madness!" both announcers screamed.
But even the mental image itself was enough to shock everyone into frozen horror! As for the match, let's just call it a draw.
At the spa.
"Bokomon, I feel like a natural woman," Neemon said as they sat in the sauna.
"That's just the steam affecting your brain," Bokomon responded.
After a not-so-pleasant nap, each Chosen Child awoke.
"Did I miss something?"
End of chapter 12.
Did the Chosen Children miss anything? I don't know! What will happen next? I don't know what either! But maybe you will if you stick around for chapter 13 of A Funny Frontier Tale!