By Super Karoru
Chapter 17: Welcome To Happyville!
Now onward to our tale!
Ghost of the Narrator: Well, it seems that the CCs have finally escaped from Isle Delfino! Thanks to the patented Crazzzzzy Plothole™! Wow! (a random person then comes in a hands the narrator greens and bling bling)
Karoru: I spot advertising here.
The camera comes back into clear view wherever the gang is about to end up. The plothole suddenly opened up from about six feet off the ground, with our heroes falling through to the ground, screaming.
"Where are we?" asked Takuya, who suddenly didn't have his bandages anymore.
Their looking around in bewilderment stopped when they spotted a rather large sign right in front of them, which was in front of a rather pleasant-looking a green village. The sign read: "Welcome to Happyville! Population: All happy people."
"Seems like a rather nice place," mused Bokomon.
"Welcome to Happyville!" yelled an unknown Digimon who looked like overly happy, hyper, multi-colored bunny rabbit. Cue the analyzer screen:
Ghost of the Narrator (v/o): Happymon. These Digimon are always freakishly happy for no apparent reason at all. It is said that if you enter their town with a bad mood, you will face horrible punishments in the form of pyromaniacs and nipple twisting. Of course, this can't exactly be proven since all these who claim this have always been covered in full-body casts and couldn't speak. They also complained of sore nipples, but this fact is obviously unrelated.
"Where'd that voice come from?" asked Tomoki.
"Welcome to our happy little town!" said Happymon 1.
"Yes, welcome!" said Happymon 2.
"Hello!" said Happymon 3. "I like spandex!"
Happymon 1 and 2 glared at Happymon 3.
"What?"
"I do wish you would stop telling strangers of your fetishes."
"Don't worry, I'm used to it by now," commented Junpei.
"Oh, that reminds me, there's another thing that we don't like in Happyville besides non-happiness," Happymon 1 stated.
"What?" asked Tomoki.
"We all suffer from hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia."
"What's that?" asked Neemon.
"Fear of long words."
Ba-bum-tish.
"This is one weird place," commented Kouji.
"Now we must welcome our new visitors with an unbelievably happy song that was not ripped off from a Disney movie! Isn't that great?"
"Not really," stated Izumi, who had been part of a previous Disney parody.
("Under The Sea" from The Little Mermaid started playing in the background.)Then Happymon 1 started to say, "Chosen Children, listen to me. Everywhere else, it's a mess. Living in Happyville is happier than anything you'll find out there!"
"The grass is always greener in somebody else's village.
You dream about living somewhere great, but we'll just go pillage it!
Just look at this town around you we've got clean floors!
Ah, such marvelous things around you, what more are you wishing for?"
"In Happyville! In Happyville! Kids, here it's better, it's not wetter! Take it from Will!"
Will: (waves) Hi, I'm Will!
"Up on the roof we dance all day!
Everyone is happy, hooray!
In swimming we are also devoting!
Look, floating!
In Happyville!"
"Uhm..."
The Happymon spun around dancing, while two of them played bongo drums.
"Down here all the Happymon are happy!
Happiness is good to earn!
But if you come and you're not happy,
You are going to BURN!"
"But non-happy people are lucky,
They're in for a worser fate!
One day when we all get hungry,
Guess who's going to be on our plates?"
"Oh yeah, bitches!
In Happyville, in Happyville!
If you're not happy, we'll fry you and eat you as frickazee!"
Our heroes began to back away slowly, and collided right into the Happymons' boombox. The music stopped.
"Aw, man!" all the Happymon shouted.
"Now can you stop with the singing?" Kouji practically pleaded.
"Yeah, it's creepy," agreed Junpei.
"But we must sing!" They all started to chorus in the highest octave known to man-kind: "WeeeeeeeeeEeeeee! Eee, ooo, eeee, um, um, ba way! In the Happyville, the happy Happyville! The Happymon scream toooooNIGHT!"
"STOP!"
"But we were just about to sing the song that states that once you enter our happy little community, there's no turning back to the outside world."
"Oh, in that case... wait, WHAT?"
Meanwhile on Isle Delfino. Hold on, Isle Delfino? Didn't it blow up?
There was a lone crab wandering on the shore.
"This appears to be the perfect place to set up my realty office... of doom."
Back to the place of unhappy happiness (talk about an oxymoron), the gang is thinking on their current situation and what to do next.
"I vote that we get the hell out of here as soon as possible. This could be some sort of cult," Kouji looked around suspiciously.
"I bet they're crackwhores that extort kindergarten classes for cheap labor," Junpei commented.
"You seem to know a lot about this subject, Junpei..." Izumi mused.
"Um, well... look, a birdie!"
"Guys, guys," began Takuya, ignoring the previous subject, "if we figure out what our quest is, then we can go on the quest, and thereby getting un-trapped from this place since we'd be questing and all that."
"Eh, works for us," the others responded, in a moment of pure laziness."Now we quest to find out what the quest is!" declared Takuya, pointing to no where in particular.
"Yay!"
This would now be a good point to wish our heroes the best of luck, because, well... they're going to need it.
End of chapter 17.