The Only One
"I have something that I have to tell you". Bosco said to faith.
He said it so quietly, she wasn't sure he had spoken. She turned her head around to look at him closely. He was sitting as far away from her as possible in his car. He was looking out the drivers side window, his fingers wrapped around the steering wheeel, in a vicelike grip.
In the three months that they had been together they had never had anything to disgaree about other than what take out to order on a saturday night. Faith felt scared. She dreaded the conversation that they were about to have. She always thought it would come down to this. She knew that Maurice Boscorelli didn't fall in love. He had a good time and then ended it. His relationships always ended the same way. She just didn't want it to end. Bosco was the only person who truly knew her..really knew her. They had been partners for eight years. He knew everything about her and she about him....but they had never made any promises to each other. Faith held her breath as Bosco started to speak, still not looking at her.
" You know what you mean to me, right"? he asked. She looked over at him and saw the two shining tears in his eyes that threatened to break loose.
"Ya. I know. What's this about Bos"? She asked quickly.
" I jus wanted ya to know before I say what Im gonna say, Faith." he said. He looked absolutely fearful of telling her what ever was on his mind. She knew that it had to be important. She couldn't remember a time when he was this upset and nervous.
"Bos, what ever it is you can tell me. Come on, its me. Your partner and your best friend." she reminded him gently. "I'll understand what ever you have to tell me".
"Will you? he asked, looking over at her. "Will you just listen until I'm done and then you can hate me or whatever" he said, beginning to drum a mindless beat on the wheel.
Faith reached over and took his hand off the wheel, holding it between the two of hers. "Go on Bos." she said.
He gently pryed his hand out of hers, and placing it back on the steering wheel, praying that she wasn't offended by the gesture. He knew that when she heard what he had to say that he'd never feel her hand in his again.
"You are such a jerk, boscorelli", he thought to himself. "You had the best woman in the world and now you've gone and screwed it up, just like always, just like your whole damned life...you always do this." Visions of his father yelling in his face, telling him what a loser he was , flashed through his mind. "Oh well," he thought.."it had to end sometime". Might as well get it over with. He took a deep breath and began, still not looking at her.
As he pulled his hand away from hers, a sick feeling came into the pit of her stomach. She knew that he was breaking up with her but she knew how compatible they were. In every single way that counted. And things in the bedroom couldn't have been better, in her opinion. "You're so stupid, faith", she chastised herself silently. "Bos has never been a one woman man. You should never have allowed yourself to get involved with him this way." But the gentle side of her reminded her that he had been the best thing in her life since she and Fred had gotten divorced. He had been there the whole time before, during and after. He was there when Emily and Charlie had died in the fire. He had helped her out and stayed by her side the entire time, even helping her pick out the caskets and making funeral arrangements. He was there when Fred wasn't. As a matter of fact, as soon as he knew that it was over with Fred, he had broken up with that girl he had been seeing for sometime. He had said that he wanted to be available to her at any time, to talk or just be there. And having a fling, as he put it, could wait. Even if she just had to talk or cry about it, he had insisted on her using his shoulder. He'd have it no other way. And she knew that she never would have made it through without him. But now it was over and she was totally unprepared for it. She turned her head and looked out the window briefly before turning back to him, ready for the blow he was about to deliver.
Before he could begin, the tears that had threatened to break forth only moments ago, spilled down his cheeks and dripped off his chin. He made no move to wipe them away, just turned his head to stare out the window again.
"Bos, you're scaring me" Faith said, a little annoyed that he was dragging this breakup out longer than he had to. She was surprised that he was making such a big deal about it, crying and all that. Why didn't he just say it was over? Why the tears? Was this the way he broke up with all his girlfriends? But it was all she could do to hold herself together and not cry. She could do that in private.
Bosco brought his hands to his face and wiped his cheeks and eyes with the backs of them. He glanced over at her, not sure how she was feeling. He detected fear in her eyes. Plenty of fear, but also a lot of hurt. He could tell that she was trying to hide it behind a look of annoyance.
Oh, how he loved her. They had only been together for three months, but he had been in love with her for the past eight years. He hated to hurt her, lived to protect her and make her happy. These past few months had been the happiest in his entire life. He had the love of a woman who could make him feel like he was worth everything. That he was a good man, not a screw up, loser, like his father had told him all his life. It just wasn't fair! Why now! Why at all! His brain screamed out for answers that he already knew. It's murphy's law. You are a screw up, you always were a screwup and you'll always be a screwup!
" You remember that Alicia chick that I was seein' just before you and Fred broke up' he asked quickly. Not waiting for an answer, he continued on " the one from my old neighborhood?
" Ya". She said. " Here it comes," she thought. "He's gonna tell me that he's getting back together with her. She didn't want to hear it. She didn't want to know any of the details...not about how she had some hold on him just because she was italian, the real thing. What ever the reason was, she wasn't going to listen.
Before he could reply she snapped at him " Bos, you don't have to do this. I'm not stupid, or a little girl. You're getting back with her? Am I right? Let's just say that we knew it wouldn't last...no big deal. We can go back to being partners and leave it at that."
With that said, she turned and grabbed the door handle and started to let herself out of the car. He reached over and grabbed her arm, pulling her back.
"Faith, wait" he pleaded. She didn't look at him, but she didn't finish getting out of the car either. "What" she snapped at him. "I don't want to hear about you sleeping with her or what a mistake it was or that you're sorry Bos. I don't intend to sit here all day while you get the balls to break up...."
"Faith! he said, rather loudly. He was hurt by her hostileness, by her annoyance with him, by her unwillingness to hear what he had to say.
" I was gonna tell you something else. You think I'd ever break up with you? He followed his last line with a thin, brittle laugh. "You're the best thing that ever happened to me. There isn't a woman out there who compares to you" He gestured out the window using his hands to demonstrate.
"I love you more than you will ever know, Faith.." he choked out. "But I always mess everything up, don't I"?
he looked up at her, searching, hoping that after he told her, that she wouldnt turn away from him.
She felt awful. She knew she was being childish, acting this way. But she was hurt and so close to bawling like a baby. All she wanted to do was take Bosco in her arms and hold him close. He was obviously in a great amount of pain. And she wanted to scream at him, ask him why he would do somehting, what ever it was, to mess up what they had. In the end, her compassionate side won. She scooted over towards him, lifting his chin, so he would look at her.
"Bos, Im sorry, but you're scaring me...what's going on? I promise I won't say a word till you're done." With that, she moved back to her seat, but reached out and held his hand firmly, letting him know that she was ready to listen and that he wouldn't get away easially.
" Well. She called me yesterday and said that I had to come over and see her." He watched her eyes closely, seaching for hints of how she was feeling. He continued on, " I went over while you were out and I didn't tell you because I didn't want to upset you", he said quicky. " I know it wasnt right, but I ...um......well... I just didn't. Anyway..." he blew out the air between his lips and ran his free hand through his hair. " Ah.....and she's pregnant".
"I have something that I have to tell you". Bosco said to faith.
He said it so quietly, she wasn't sure he had spoken. She turned her head around to look at him closely. He was sitting as far away from her as possible in his car. He was looking out the drivers side window, his fingers wrapped around the steering wheeel, in a vicelike grip.
In the three months that they had been together they had never had anything to disgaree about other than what take out to order on a saturday night. Faith felt scared. She dreaded the conversation that they were about to have. She always thought it would come down to this. She knew that Maurice Boscorelli didn't fall in love. He had a good time and then ended it. His relationships always ended the same way. She just didn't want it to end. Bosco was the only person who truly knew her..really knew her. They had been partners for eight years. He knew everything about her and she about him....but they had never made any promises to each other. Faith held her breath as Bosco started to speak, still not looking at her.
" You know what you mean to me, right"? he asked. She looked over at him and saw the two shining tears in his eyes that threatened to break loose.
"Ya. I know. What's this about Bos"? She asked quickly.
" I jus wanted ya to know before I say what Im gonna say, Faith." he said. He looked absolutely fearful of telling her what ever was on his mind. She knew that it had to be important. She couldn't remember a time when he was this upset and nervous.
"Bos, what ever it is you can tell me. Come on, its me. Your partner and your best friend." she reminded him gently. "I'll understand what ever you have to tell me".
"Will you? he asked, looking over at her. "Will you just listen until I'm done and then you can hate me or whatever" he said, beginning to drum a mindless beat on the wheel.
Faith reached over and took his hand off the wheel, holding it between the two of hers. "Go on Bos." she said.
He gently pryed his hand out of hers, and placing it back on the steering wheel, praying that she wasn't offended by the gesture. He knew that when she heard what he had to say that he'd never feel her hand in his again.
"You are such a jerk, boscorelli", he thought to himself. "You had the best woman in the world and now you've gone and screwed it up, just like always, just like your whole damned life...you always do this." Visions of his father yelling in his face, telling him what a loser he was , flashed through his mind. "Oh well," he thought.."it had to end sometime". Might as well get it over with. He took a deep breath and began, still not looking at her.
As he pulled his hand away from hers, a sick feeling came into the pit of her stomach. She knew that he was breaking up with her but she knew how compatible they were. In every single way that counted. And things in the bedroom couldn't have been better, in her opinion. "You're so stupid, faith", she chastised herself silently. "Bos has never been a one woman man. You should never have allowed yourself to get involved with him this way." But the gentle side of her reminded her that he had been the best thing in her life since she and Fred had gotten divorced. He had been there the whole time before, during and after. He was there when Emily and Charlie had died in the fire. He had helped her out and stayed by her side the entire time, even helping her pick out the caskets and making funeral arrangements. He was there when Fred wasn't. As a matter of fact, as soon as he knew that it was over with Fred, he had broken up with that girl he had been seeing for sometime. He had said that he wanted to be available to her at any time, to talk or just be there. And having a fling, as he put it, could wait. Even if she just had to talk or cry about it, he had insisted on her using his shoulder. He'd have it no other way. And she knew that she never would have made it through without him. But now it was over and she was totally unprepared for it. She turned her head and looked out the window briefly before turning back to him, ready for the blow he was about to deliver.
Before he could begin, the tears that had threatened to break forth only moments ago, spilled down his cheeks and dripped off his chin. He made no move to wipe them away, just turned his head to stare out the window again.
"Bos, you're scaring me" Faith said, a little annoyed that he was dragging this breakup out longer than he had to. She was surprised that he was making such a big deal about it, crying and all that. Why didn't he just say it was over? Why the tears? Was this the way he broke up with all his girlfriends? But it was all she could do to hold herself together and not cry. She could do that in private.
Bosco brought his hands to his face and wiped his cheeks and eyes with the backs of them. He glanced over at her, not sure how she was feeling. He detected fear in her eyes. Plenty of fear, but also a lot of hurt. He could tell that she was trying to hide it behind a look of annoyance.
Oh, how he loved her. They had only been together for three months, but he had been in love with her for the past eight years. He hated to hurt her, lived to protect her and make her happy. These past few months had been the happiest in his entire life. He had the love of a woman who could make him feel like he was worth everything. That he was a good man, not a screw up, loser, like his father had told him all his life. It just wasn't fair! Why now! Why at all! His brain screamed out for answers that he already knew. It's murphy's law. You are a screw up, you always were a screwup and you'll always be a screwup!
" You remember that Alicia chick that I was seein' just before you and Fred broke up' he asked quickly. Not waiting for an answer, he continued on " the one from my old neighborhood?
" Ya". She said. " Here it comes," she thought. "He's gonna tell me that he's getting back together with her. She didn't want to hear it. She didn't want to know any of the details...not about how she had some hold on him just because she was italian, the real thing. What ever the reason was, she wasn't going to listen.
Before he could reply she snapped at him " Bos, you don't have to do this. I'm not stupid, or a little girl. You're getting back with her? Am I right? Let's just say that we knew it wouldn't last...no big deal. We can go back to being partners and leave it at that."
With that said, she turned and grabbed the door handle and started to let herself out of the car. He reached over and grabbed her arm, pulling her back.
"Faith, wait" he pleaded. She didn't look at him, but she didn't finish getting out of the car either. "What" she snapped at him. "I don't want to hear about you sleeping with her or what a mistake it was or that you're sorry Bos. I don't intend to sit here all day while you get the balls to break up...."
"Faith! he said, rather loudly. He was hurt by her hostileness, by her annoyance with him, by her unwillingness to hear what he had to say.
" I was gonna tell you something else. You think I'd ever break up with you? He followed his last line with a thin, brittle laugh. "You're the best thing that ever happened to me. There isn't a woman out there who compares to you" He gestured out the window using his hands to demonstrate.
"I love you more than you will ever know, Faith.." he choked out. "But I always mess everything up, don't I"?
he looked up at her, searching, hoping that after he told her, that she wouldnt turn away from him.
She felt awful. She knew she was being childish, acting this way. But she was hurt and so close to bawling like a baby. All she wanted to do was take Bosco in her arms and hold him close. He was obviously in a great amount of pain. And she wanted to scream at him, ask him why he would do somehting, what ever it was, to mess up what they had. In the end, her compassionate side won. She scooted over towards him, lifting his chin, so he would look at her.
"Bos, Im sorry, but you're scaring me...what's going on? I promise I won't say a word till you're done." With that, she moved back to her seat, but reached out and held his hand firmly, letting him know that she was ready to listen and that he wouldn't get away easially.
" Well. She called me yesterday and said that I had to come over and see her." He watched her eyes closely, seaching for hints of how she was feeling. He continued on, " I went over while you were out and I didn't tell you because I didn't want to upset you", he said quicky. " I know it wasnt right, but I ...um......well... I just didn't. Anyway..." he blew out the air between his lips and ran his free hand through his hair. " Ah.....and she's pregnant".