A Funny Frontier Tale - OMG. UPDATING SCANDAL.
- Disclaimer: I own nothing. If I did, then you wouldn't want to know the consequences.
A Funny Frontier Tale
By: Cluehunter Karoru
Chapter 23: And So The "Plot" Thickens
Now onward to our tale!
~*~
We open to where we last left off a long time ago, and oddly we find an odd sight. Everything and everyone are grey-colored and lying around on the ground like half-dead zombies. ... If there's such a thing as half-dead zombies... since zombies are dead already... Oh the hell with it, someone talked!
"Ugh," said Vritramon, "... hey, are we still alive?" He got up while rubbing his head and looked around. And his color was seeping back into him. "... Strange."
"Well, old chap," KaiserLeomon said as he rose up from the ground. "It's not *that* strange since we have been dead for over practically two months."
"Ack," he commented. "Come to think of it, we've always been dead like this..."
"Hmmmmmmmmm!" everyone else exclaimed in 'Hmmm' tones. And that certainly surprised Vritramon, who fell over. KaiserLeomon just sat there sipping his tea. Don't ask how he could sip, since he has no lips and all, but just use your imagination.
"Vritra-kun~!" cheered Shutumon as she flew over and glomped him while he was "vulnerable".
"Gak!"
"I've missed you, Vritra! But well, I really couldn't "miss you miss you" since we were all here the whole time, but I haven't been able to glomp you!" She squeezed him tighter and he had more and more trouble breathing.
"Uh, maybe you should stop that... He's turning blue," said Garmmon.
"Nonsense!" she responded.
Bolgmon thought to himself, 'Hmph. Why doesn't she glomp *me* like that? So what if I'm a big metal tank beetle! I'm lovable!'
Blizzarmon snuck up behind Bolgmon and said, "I know what you're thinking. You're mad at the ShutuxVritra shipping, aren't cha? Aren't cha? I CAN READ YOUR MIND."
Bolgmon turned around and looked at the white yeti with wide eyes. He held his 'hands' up where his ears would be if he had any. "GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!" he shouted and zoomed off somewhere. Blizzarmon followed while laughing very strangely.
Garmmon sweatdropped and KaiserLeomon continued sipping his endless cup of tea.
"Shutu... mon... stop... ack... can't... breathe..."
Wait, what about BTmon?
"WHAT *ABOUT* ME?" boomed the tower. Everyone looked up at him. "WHAT ARE *YOU* LOOKING AT?"
Garmmon took this opportunity to be quite witty. "I don't know? What *are* we looking at? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA."
"......"
"Garmmon, you are an idiot." said Vritramon who managed to escape Shutumon's grip a bit.
"Sank yuu. Sank yuu very much!" Garmmon struck a pose. Then he unposed himself and sat like a little puppy and wagged his tail. "... So what do we do now?" He grinned.
Everyone fell over. ... Even BTmon.
"HOLY SHIT!!" all the Chibi Beast Senseis exclaimed and jumped out of the way. BTmon fell over with a giant crash that shook all of Happyville. I guess Garmmon's little comment was *that* bad after all.
"... Oww." said BTmon. "I wonder if there are any hospitals around that submit giant talking towers."
Bolgmon looked to the scene and thought. "Ack! Guys, guys, guys!" He waved his arms around, trying to gain their attention. They all looked over to him. "If BTmon fell *over* and the magical, amazing, and kick-ass Plot Device was on *top*of him, wouldn't the Plot Device now be somewhere on the ground?!"
"..." They all looked around at each other.
"By jove, you're right!" said Vritramon as he raised a claw in the air defiantly. "And I'm glad that I was the one to come to this conclusion!" Everyone else slapped their foreheads.
"Shouldn't we start, uh, getting the Plot Device now?" asked Blizzarmon who felt quite ignored for some reason even I don't know and I'm the one writing this so if I don't know then no one knows unless we make an assumption. It just was.
"Why, yes, we should." commented Vritramon, acting all superior even though he really wasn't. "And being the super-special leader I am, I shall lead the way!" Of course, Shutumon had no complaints and just followed behind him innocently while the guys grumbled.
BTmon became quite annoyed and got one of those vein thingys on his head - if he has a head, which he must since he can talk and all. "Um, you do know I *am* still alive?"
"Yeah, we know," said Vritramon marching around like he was on parade.
BTmon sweatdropped. "And do you also know - whether I have crashed to the ground or not - that as long as I am alive... NO SOUL SHALL GET THE PLOT DEVICE!!"
"You mean that thing over there?" pointed Shutumon. All of a sudden, it was like every thing in the universe directed their attention on the Plot Device. "... It doesn't look that magical and amazing, though. And not that kick-ass." she commented. Everyone gasped. ... But alas, she was right. Everyone gasped again. It didn't really look anything like any Holy Grail. It actually looked more like a vaccumm cleaner with one too many screws loose. It was a nice blue color, though.
"But I don't like blue!" some random Happymon exclaimed.
"NO ONE INSULTS THE PLOT DEVICE!!" boomed BTmon. "Even though it may not look all that great, it has a legacy, dammit! Long ago, the magical whozits who hadn't thought of a better name for themselves were bored. So they thought 'What the hell?' and made something to give them something to do. Now, they weren't the most ingeneous little buggers so their first attempt failed and they were still bored because the thing didn't work. Actually it was a piece of crap. Now, the second time, they had gotten magical magic from who knows where, so they actually got the thing to work. But they were too lazy to change the crappy design. And when they thought of the name... well, who knows. NO SOUL KNOWS. THEY CAN ONLY ASSUME. ... But I guess they got the magical part from the fact that it *is* magical. AND THAT IS THE TALE OF THE MAGICAL, AMAZING, AND KICK-ASS PLOT DEVICE." BTmon ended his long and odd tale and thereby having the longest speaking part ever in AFFT history.
He expected roaring applause, but alas, only a few Happymon clapped. Then when they realized they were the only ones clapping, they stopped. Crickets started chirping.
"... Oooooooooooooooohhh!!" chanted the Chibi Beast Senseis like they had just solved the mystery of life.
"THAT IS AN INSULT TO MY HONOR FOOLS!!" shouted BTmon.
"Oh well," said Vritramon as he started walking over to the Plot Device. "As long as we can get a plot to be important to, I don't care what the thing looks like."
BTmon twitched as Vritramon stepped closer and closer to the object the practically swore his life to. "NEVER!!" he screeched as a huge-ass cannon came out of no where aiming in the general direction of the Plot Device. This certainly caught Vritramon's attention.
"HOLY CRAP!!"
"FIRRRRRE!!"
Then the cannon burst forth a huge blast of blastiness, catupulting the Plot Device - which I forgot to mention was indestrucable - to who knows where. But it most likely landed on the way, way other side of Happyville. Vritramon looked up and onward into the sky watching their main goal zoom off over the horizon. His head followed it up and up - and down again where it crashed. And of course, it would be quite a hassle to recover it. But Vritramon already knew this as *his* eye began to twitch. He turned around to glare at BTmon. But he calmly collected himself somewhat, took a deep breath, and strolled over towards him. He stood there swaying forwards and backwards for a bit. Then he slowly raised his hand/claw up in the air and proceded to shout. "WHY YOU BASTARD! YOU - YOU DAMN MOTHER FU-"
~*~
"Ahh, isn't it a lovely day?" Takuya asked the group. They all looked at him like he was crazy. "... What?"
"Err, weren't we going somewhere?" asked Kouji.
"Perhaps..." said Kouichi.
They all suddenly got into thinking poses. "Hmmmmmm."
"... Well, I'm stumped," said Takuya.
"And so are we for some reason," said everyone else at the exact same time for some reason.
"Oh well, I'm sure it's not important anyways." responded Takuya.
And they all oddly laughed amongst themselves.
But Neemon was about to comment - "Well, actually we were questing for the mag -"
"Oh, not with your stupid comments again!" said Bokomon, as he grabbed Neemon's waistband and snapped his pants yet again.
"Owwie!!" Neemon fell over.
~*~
~ Commercial time! ~
~ Commercial #1:
[A/n: Poke-bashing ahead. But remember, I am also a fan and it's all in good fun. XD]
We open to a random forest in the middle of nowhere. Well, actually not the middle of nowhere. It was between two cities that had taken at least 30 Episodes to go in between. Then all of a sudden, a figure emerges from the brush. Why, it's...! ... Izumi. Wearing an Ash outfit.
Izumi: Ah hee hee! I'm gonna catch me a Pokeyman today-e!
She starts to walk around, completely obvious to everything. But then as if on cue, a very pathetic "Pokeyman" comes out of nowhere.
Izumi: Oh my garsh! It's - it's - ! ... I have no idea. Maybe Dexter will know! Hur hur!
Dexter: Bally. This is the most worthless Pokemon ever. In fact, it's not even real. It's just made up. It would be a waste of your time to capture it.
Izumi: MUST - CATCH.
And if you *must* know what "Bally" looks like, it's just a red ball with Ditto-like eyes. Wow.
Izumi: I'm gonna use my best Pokeyman EVAR!
Suddenly, someone wearing a Pikachu costume jumps out of the nearby bushes.
Takuya: Taku-chuuuu! Chu! Takuuu! ... Kill me now.
Izumi: Takuchuuuuu!!
Takuya: ... Yeah?
Izumi: Thundershock that Bally!!
Takuya: Uh, okay.
Takuya then walks over to the Bally, takes off the feet to his Pikachu costume, puts on some extra thick socks, grabs a piece of carpet from out of nowhere, and half-walks half-scoots around on it. Then he touches the Bally with his index finger, and gives it a static shock.
Bally: ... AHHH. *faints* x_x
Takuya: Woah, that was easy. o_o
Izumi: POKEY-BALL GOOOOOOOOOOOO!! *throws the Pokeball*
The Pokey-Ball lands on Bally, sucks it in, and... it's captured.
Izumi: Oh my garsh! I caught a Bally!
Takuya: Who gives a damn?! Uh, I mean - Chuuuuu!
Izumi: *strikes a pose* AND IT ONLY TOOK ONE EPISODE! GO ME!
Takuya: ¬¬ Chuuuu.
Izumi: *smiles* But I couldn't have done it without you, Takuchu.
Takuya: Hehe. ^^
Izumi: So how about some Pokey-Chow?
Takuya: ... How about not? -.-"
-
Random Singers: GOTTA CATCH DEM ALL! GOTTA CATCH DEM ALL! POKEYMAN!*
* Note: And by "Gotta Catch Dem All" we mean - BUY OUR MERCHANDIZE. ALL OF IT. MWA HA HA.
~ Commercial #2:
We open to nothing. Just multi-colored stripes.
*BEEEEEEEEEEEEP*
...
*BEEEEEEEEEEEEP*
...
*BEEEEEEEEEEEEP*
Narrator: Thank you for watching the Swearing Channel! *Beep!*
[A/n: ... Bu-bum-ching! Hachachachachacha!]
~ Commercial #3:
We open to a random sunny beach.
Narrator: Headin' out to the beach this summer? But don't want to get your arse fried by those harmful UV Ray thingers? Well, have we got a product for y00!
Kouji walks up wearing blue swim trunks and walks right up to the camera.
Kouji: Hello, everyone! I'm here endorsing a new product since my "Bishounen Flakes" didn't exactly win over the FDA. Anyways! I'm here with the Super-Duper Sunblock 3003! Guaranteed to not get you burned this summer!
He walks over to some conviently placed beach chairs and the others are lying there soakin' up some rays. But they don't have the sunscreen that Kouji's endorsing.
Kouji: Now even though this sunscreen wasn't exactly made by professionals and by some weird guy who lives in his mother's basement... That still doesn't mean it won't work!
He starts to apply the sunblock.
Kouji: And thus, I will be the poor sap - err, model to prove everyone wrong!
Takuya: *looks up from under his sunglasses* But you *do* know that stuff isn't going to work, Kouji?
Kouji: Shut up! I'm endorsing here!
We zoom in on a random clock.
6 HOURS LATER.
Kouji: *his whole body - except for the stuff under his suit - is as red as a lobster* I hate you all.
The others point and laugh.
Narrator: SUPER-DUPER SUNBLOCK 3003! BUY IT TODAY!
Kouji: Nooooooo~
~ And now back to the fic! ~
~*~
Vritramon was curled up in a ball sobbing where the Plot Device had been before it had been blasted to the other side of Happyville. And Shutumon was looming over him trying to make him feel better. It wasn't really working. And Blizzarmon and Bolgmon were just standing around with sweatdrops.
"I do hate to see a grown dragon-thing cry." said KaiserLeomon looking onward at the scene.
"Me too. It's just pathetic." commented Garmmon. "... So what do we do now?"
"I'LL TELL YOU WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO!!" shouted Vritramon who had amazingly gotten up and zoomed over towards the two, shaking his fist. "We're gonna... we're gonna..."
"You have no idea, do you?" asked Garmmon.
"OF COURSE I DO! I'm the super-special leader guy, so of course I know what we're gonna do! We are going to -"
"Shouldn't we go try and find the Plot Device now?" asked Shutumon, flying over to the three of them.
"Took the words right out of my mouth, Shutumon! ... Or the thoughts out of my brain. And if you did take thoughts from my brain... GET OUT OF MY HEAD, WOMAN!" he screamed, flailing his arms about.
"I think he's finally lost it." Bolgmon said to Blizzarmon. The yeti nodded in agreement.
"I HEARD THAT!!" said Vritramon. "Now! We must depart! For the Plot Device! ... And stuff!"
He waited for the calls of excitement and agreement.
"... You're supposed to go "Yay!" or something to that extent."
"Ooooh!!" said the others. "..."
... ... ...
"... NOW."
"YAY!"
"W00T!"
"Yeah! Let's get that Plot Device!"
"Go, Vritra! Yay! YOU GOT A SEXY ARSE!"
Vritramon's eyes widened. "... I sincerely hope *you* were the one that said that, Shutumon."
Shutumon shook her head. "No, I didn't say anything, Vritra-kun. Although, that is a good one! I better write that down!" She took out a little notebook and started scribbling stuff down.
Vritramon's eyes got even wider. "AHHHHHHHH!" He started running off crazilly in the direction they were "supposed" to go waving his arms about like a loon.
"... Should we follow him?" asked Bolgmon. The others shrugged and just walked off behind him.
"Ack, wait for me, Vritra-kun!" said Shutumon, putting away her notebook, and flying after them at top speed.
"Phew. And I'd thought they'd never leave. But thank goodness that little comment sent them off or *that* ordeal would've been a bit awkward." BTmon mused to himself. Then he realized that he was still lying on the ground... and no one was around. "Um... help?"
~*~
A little later - and by a "little later" I mean five minutes - the Chosen Children somehow made their way to where BTmon was.
"Woah, it's a big tower... thing!" said Neemon.
"Thank you, Captain Obvious!" retorted Bokomon.
"... FINALLY. SOMEONE ELSE. HELP ME UP FOR THE LOVE OF PETE." BTmon boomed.
"HOLY CRAP! THE THING TALKS!" The CC's exclaimed out of pure fright.
"Yes, I do. Quite ingeneous, isn't it? Now could you puuuuuhleeeaze help me up? Pweez? Pweety pweez?"
The CC's looked around at each other. "Uh, okay." said Takuya. "We'll just Spirt Evolve to our cool Beast Form thingers!" The others slapped their foreheads.
"Wait, Beast Forms... You. Goggle head. Your Beast Spirt wouldn't be Vritramon, would it?" asked BTmon.
Takuya was taken a bit by surprise. "Uh, yeah."
"Oh. Because yourself in that form in Chibi Form just ran off a little while ago."
"WHAT?" exclaimed Takuya and Izumi, remembering something similar from a good many Chapters ago.
The others cracked up.
"Chibi Beast Forms?" asked Junpei. "That's just... stupid."
"Not to mention impossible," said Kouji.
"Yes, and if they're were Chibi Versions of our Spirts running around, we would've known about it." commented Kouichi.
"What you guys said." said Tomoki.
"Hmm. An odd theory." pondered Bokomon.
"Oooh. Neat-o!" said Neemon.
Takuya and Izumi looked at each other nervously. "But um, where we they headed?" Izumi asked BTmon.
"They were headed for the Plot Device. That way." answered BTmon, and somehow motioning towards the direction the Chibi Beast Senseis had supposedly went.
"Then that's where we're headed too!" said Takuya as he dragged the others along and they all trotted off.
"... HEY, WHAT ABOUT ME?" exclaimed the still tilted-over tower.
And now the CC's are headed in the same direction. Hmm. But why do I get the feeling I'm forgetting another important plot element...?
~*~
A little ways down somewhere near the Happyville shore, we see three figures walking along the beach. And one has spotted an object carelessly lying in the sand. We can't see the first figure - having been conviently shaded dark for that dramatic effect - but they have leaned down to pick up the object. And it's a camera... that looks oddly familiar...
"Hmm. Something tells me that - even though it's not data - it'll be important to our mission! Hahahahahaha HA HA! ... Hehe. ... RhodoKnightmon, would you stop looking at every thing in every store you see? ¬¬"
"Oooh! But in that store they have a sale on tunics! Ooooh! A pink one! I must have!"
Dynasmon groaned as Lucemon slapped his forehead.
Dum dee dum dum dooo! And so, the "plot" thickens...
~End of Chapter 23! Yesh!~
A/n: Phew. Well, after months of not updating, I finally wrote something! =D Anyways, I went through a lot of drafts for this Chapter, but when I got to this one, it finally flowed, so I actually got something done! I just feel so accomplished. XD
Anyhoo, I'm pleased with this Ch and I hope you guys were too. But I'm not sure when I'll update again... Oh, but if anyone cares, after this update I'll be at the beach vacationing Saturday through Thursday, so when I get back I hope to have passed the 400th review mark. So help an author out. Pweez? =D
So ciao for now! I'm off to da beach, bay~bah!
- Karoru
- Disclaimer: I own nothing. If I did, then you wouldn't want to know the consequences.
A Funny Frontier Tale
By: Cluehunter Karoru
Chapter 23: And So The "Plot" Thickens
Now onward to our tale!
~*~
We open to where we last left off a long time ago, and oddly we find an odd sight. Everything and everyone are grey-colored and lying around on the ground like half-dead zombies. ... If there's such a thing as half-dead zombies... since zombies are dead already... Oh the hell with it, someone talked!
"Ugh," said Vritramon, "... hey, are we still alive?" He got up while rubbing his head and looked around. And his color was seeping back into him. "... Strange."
"Well, old chap," KaiserLeomon said as he rose up from the ground. "It's not *that* strange since we have been dead for over practically two months."
"Ack," he commented. "Come to think of it, we've always been dead like this..."
"Hmmmmmmmmm!" everyone else exclaimed in 'Hmmm' tones. And that certainly surprised Vritramon, who fell over. KaiserLeomon just sat there sipping his tea. Don't ask how he could sip, since he has no lips and all, but just use your imagination.
"Vritra-kun~!" cheered Shutumon as she flew over and glomped him while he was "vulnerable".
"Gak!"
"I've missed you, Vritra! But well, I really couldn't "miss you miss you" since we were all here the whole time, but I haven't been able to glomp you!" She squeezed him tighter and he had more and more trouble breathing.
"Uh, maybe you should stop that... He's turning blue," said Garmmon.
"Nonsense!" she responded.
Bolgmon thought to himself, 'Hmph. Why doesn't she glomp *me* like that? So what if I'm a big metal tank beetle! I'm lovable!'
Blizzarmon snuck up behind Bolgmon and said, "I know what you're thinking. You're mad at the ShutuxVritra shipping, aren't cha? Aren't cha? I CAN READ YOUR MIND."
Bolgmon turned around and looked at the white yeti with wide eyes. He held his 'hands' up where his ears would be if he had any. "GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!" he shouted and zoomed off somewhere. Blizzarmon followed while laughing very strangely.
Garmmon sweatdropped and KaiserLeomon continued sipping his endless cup of tea.
"Shutu... mon... stop... ack... can't... breathe..."
Wait, what about BTmon?
"WHAT *ABOUT* ME?" boomed the tower. Everyone looked up at him. "WHAT ARE *YOU* LOOKING AT?"
Garmmon took this opportunity to be quite witty. "I don't know? What *are* we looking at? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA."
"......"
"Garmmon, you are an idiot." said Vritramon who managed to escape Shutumon's grip a bit.
"Sank yuu. Sank yuu very much!" Garmmon struck a pose. Then he unposed himself and sat like a little puppy and wagged his tail. "... So what do we do now?" He grinned.
Everyone fell over. ... Even BTmon.
"HOLY SHIT!!" all the Chibi Beast Senseis exclaimed and jumped out of the way. BTmon fell over with a giant crash that shook all of Happyville. I guess Garmmon's little comment was *that* bad after all.
"... Oww." said BTmon. "I wonder if there are any hospitals around that submit giant talking towers."
Bolgmon looked to the scene and thought. "Ack! Guys, guys, guys!" He waved his arms around, trying to gain their attention. They all looked over to him. "If BTmon fell *over* and the magical, amazing, and kick-ass Plot Device was on *top*of him, wouldn't the Plot Device now be somewhere on the ground?!"
"..." They all looked around at each other.
"By jove, you're right!" said Vritramon as he raised a claw in the air defiantly. "And I'm glad that I was the one to come to this conclusion!" Everyone else slapped their foreheads.
"Shouldn't we start, uh, getting the Plot Device now?" asked Blizzarmon who felt quite ignored for some reason even I don't know and I'm the one writing this so if I don't know then no one knows unless we make an assumption. It just was.
"Why, yes, we should." commented Vritramon, acting all superior even though he really wasn't. "And being the super-special leader I am, I shall lead the way!" Of course, Shutumon had no complaints and just followed behind him innocently while the guys grumbled.
BTmon became quite annoyed and got one of those vein thingys on his head - if he has a head, which he must since he can talk and all. "Um, you do know I *am* still alive?"
"Yeah, we know," said Vritramon marching around like he was on parade.
BTmon sweatdropped. "And do you also know - whether I have crashed to the ground or not - that as long as I am alive... NO SOUL SHALL GET THE PLOT DEVICE!!"
"You mean that thing over there?" pointed Shutumon. All of a sudden, it was like every thing in the universe directed their attention on the Plot Device. "... It doesn't look that magical and amazing, though. And not that kick-ass." she commented. Everyone gasped. ... But alas, she was right. Everyone gasped again. It didn't really look anything like any Holy Grail. It actually looked more like a vaccumm cleaner with one too many screws loose. It was a nice blue color, though.
"But I don't like blue!" some random Happymon exclaimed.
"NO ONE INSULTS THE PLOT DEVICE!!" boomed BTmon. "Even though it may not look all that great, it has a legacy, dammit! Long ago, the magical whozits who hadn't thought of a better name for themselves were bored. So they thought 'What the hell?' and made something to give them something to do. Now, they weren't the most ingeneous little buggers so their first attempt failed and they were still bored because the thing didn't work. Actually it was a piece of crap. Now, the second time, they had gotten magical magic from who knows where, so they actually got the thing to work. But they were too lazy to change the crappy design. And when they thought of the name... well, who knows. NO SOUL KNOWS. THEY CAN ONLY ASSUME. ... But I guess they got the magical part from the fact that it *is* magical. AND THAT IS THE TALE OF THE MAGICAL, AMAZING, AND KICK-ASS PLOT DEVICE." BTmon ended his long and odd tale and thereby having the longest speaking part ever in AFFT history.
He expected roaring applause, but alas, only a few Happymon clapped. Then when they realized they were the only ones clapping, they stopped. Crickets started chirping.
"... Oooooooooooooooohhh!!" chanted the Chibi Beast Senseis like they had just solved the mystery of life.
"THAT IS AN INSULT TO MY HONOR FOOLS!!" shouted BTmon.
"Oh well," said Vritramon as he started walking over to the Plot Device. "As long as we can get a plot to be important to, I don't care what the thing looks like."
BTmon twitched as Vritramon stepped closer and closer to the object the practically swore his life to. "NEVER!!" he screeched as a huge-ass cannon came out of no where aiming in the general direction of the Plot Device. This certainly caught Vritramon's attention.
"HOLY CRAP!!"
"FIRRRRRE!!"
Then the cannon burst forth a huge blast of blastiness, catupulting the Plot Device - which I forgot to mention was indestrucable - to who knows where. But it most likely landed on the way, way other side of Happyville. Vritramon looked up and onward into the sky watching their main goal zoom off over the horizon. His head followed it up and up - and down again where it crashed. And of course, it would be quite a hassle to recover it. But Vritramon already knew this as *his* eye began to twitch. He turned around to glare at BTmon. But he calmly collected himself somewhat, took a deep breath, and strolled over towards him. He stood there swaying forwards and backwards for a bit. Then he slowly raised his hand/claw up in the air and proceded to shout. "WHY YOU BASTARD! YOU - YOU DAMN MOTHER FU-"
~*~
"Ahh, isn't it a lovely day?" Takuya asked the group. They all looked at him like he was crazy. "... What?"
"Err, weren't we going somewhere?" asked Kouji.
"Perhaps..." said Kouichi.
They all suddenly got into thinking poses. "Hmmmmmm."
"... Well, I'm stumped," said Takuya.
"And so are we for some reason," said everyone else at the exact same time for some reason.
"Oh well, I'm sure it's not important anyways." responded Takuya.
And they all oddly laughed amongst themselves.
But Neemon was about to comment - "Well, actually we were questing for the mag -"
"Oh, not with your stupid comments again!" said Bokomon, as he grabbed Neemon's waistband and snapped his pants yet again.
"Owwie!!" Neemon fell over.
~*~
~ Commercial time! ~
~ Commercial #1:
[A/n: Poke-bashing ahead. But remember, I am also a fan and it's all in good fun. XD]
We open to a random forest in the middle of nowhere. Well, actually not the middle of nowhere. It was between two cities that had taken at least 30 Episodes to go in between. Then all of a sudden, a figure emerges from the brush. Why, it's...! ... Izumi. Wearing an Ash outfit.
Izumi: Ah hee hee! I'm gonna catch me a Pokeyman today-e!
She starts to walk around, completely obvious to everything. But then as if on cue, a very pathetic "Pokeyman" comes out of nowhere.
Izumi: Oh my garsh! It's - it's - ! ... I have no idea. Maybe Dexter will know! Hur hur!
Dexter: Bally. This is the most worthless Pokemon ever. In fact, it's not even real. It's just made up. It would be a waste of your time to capture it.
Izumi: MUST - CATCH.
And if you *must* know what "Bally" looks like, it's just a red ball with Ditto-like eyes. Wow.
Izumi: I'm gonna use my best Pokeyman EVAR!
Suddenly, someone wearing a Pikachu costume jumps out of the nearby bushes.
Takuya: Taku-chuuuu! Chu! Takuuu! ... Kill me now.
Izumi: Takuchuuuuu!!
Takuya: ... Yeah?
Izumi: Thundershock that Bally!!
Takuya: Uh, okay.
Takuya then walks over to the Bally, takes off the feet to his Pikachu costume, puts on some extra thick socks, grabs a piece of carpet from out of nowhere, and half-walks half-scoots around on it. Then he touches the Bally with his index finger, and gives it a static shock.
Bally: ... AHHH. *faints* x_x
Takuya: Woah, that was easy. o_o
Izumi: POKEY-BALL GOOOOOOOOOOOO!! *throws the Pokeball*
The Pokey-Ball lands on Bally, sucks it in, and... it's captured.
Izumi: Oh my garsh! I caught a Bally!
Takuya: Who gives a damn?! Uh, I mean - Chuuuuu!
Izumi: *strikes a pose* AND IT ONLY TOOK ONE EPISODE! GO ME!
Takuya: ¬¬ Chuuuu.
Izumi: *smiles* But I couldn't have done it without you, Takuchu.
Takuya: Hehe. ^^
Izumi: So how about some Pokey-Chow?
Takuya: ... How about not? -.-"
-
Random Singers: GOTTA CATCH DEM ALL! GOTTA CATCH DEM ALL! POKEYMAN!*
* Note: And by "Gotta Catch Dem All" we mean - BUY OUR MERCHANDIZE. ALL OF IT. MWA HA HA.
~ Commercial #2:
We open to nothing. Just multi-colored stripes.
*BEEEEEEEEEEEEP*
...
*BEEEEEEEEEEEEP*
...
*BEEEEEEEEEEEEP*
Narrator: Thank you for watching the Swearing Channel! *Beep!*
[A/n: ... Bu-bum-ching! Hachachachachacha!]
~ Commercial #3:
We open to a random sunny beach.
Narrator: Headin' out to the beach this summer? But don't want to get your arse fried by those harmful UV Ray thingers? Well, have we got a product for y00!
Kouji walks up wearing blue swim trunks and walks right up to the camera.
Kouji: Hello, everyone! I'm here endorsing a new product since my "Bishounen Flakes" didn't exactly win over the FDA. Anyways! I'm here with the Super-Duper Sunblock 3003! Guaranteed to not get you burned this summer!
He walks over to some conviently placed beach chairs and the others are lying there soakin' up some rays. But they don't have the sunscreen that Kouji's endorsing.
Kouji: Now even though this sunscreen wasn't exactly made by professionals and by some weird guy who lives in his mother's basement... That still doesn't mean it won't work!
He starts to apply the sunblock.
Kouji: And thus, I will be the poor sap - err, model to prove everyone wrong!
Takuya: *looks up from under his sunglasses* But you *do* know that stuff isn't going to work, Kouji?
Kouji: Shut up! I'm endorsing here!
We zoom in on a random clock.
6 HOURS LATER.
Kouji: *his whole body - except for the stuff under his suit - is as red as a lobster* I hate you all.
The others point and laugh.
Narrator: SUPER-DUPER SUNBLOCK 3003! BUY IT TODAY!
Kouji: Nooooooo~
~ And now back to the fic! ~
~*~
Vritramon was curled up in a ball sobbing where the Plot Device had been before it had been blasted to the other side of Happyville. And Shutumon was looming over him trying to make him feel better. It wasn't really working. And Blizzarmon and Bolgmon were just standing around with sweatdrops.
"I do hate to see a grown dragon-thing cry." said KaiserLeomon looking onward at the scene.
"Me too. It's just pathetic." commented Garmmon. "... So what do we do now?"
"I'LL TELL YOU WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO!!" shouted Vritramon who had amazingly gotten up and zoomed over towards the two, shaking his fist. "We're gonna... we're gonna..."
"You have no idea, do you?" asked Garmmon.
"OF COURSE I DO! I'm the super-special leader guy, so of course I know what we're gonna do! We are going to -"
"Shouldn't we go try and find the Plot Device now?" asked Shutumon, flying over to the three of them.
"Took the words right out of my mouth, Shutumon! ... Or the thoughts out of my brain. And if you did take thoughts from my brain... GET OUT OF MY HEAD, WOMAN!" he screamed, flailing his arms about.
"I think he's finally lost it." Bolgmon said to Blizzarmon. The yeti nodded in agreement.
"I HEARD THAT!!" said Vritramon. "Now! We must depart! For the Plot Device! ... And stuff!"
He waited for the calls of excitement and agreement.
"... You're supposed to go "Yay!" or something to that extent."
"Ooooh!!" said the others. "..."
... ... ...
"... NOW."
"YAY!"
"W00T!"
"Yeah! Let's get that Plot Device!"
"Go, Vritra! Yay! YOU GOT A SEXY ARSE!"
Vritramon's eyes widened. "... I sincerely hope *you* were the one that said that, Shutumon."
Shutumon shook her head. "No, I didn't say anything, Vritra-kun. Although, that is a good one! I better write that down!" She took out a little notebook and started scribbling stuff down.
Vritramon's eyes got even wider. "AHHHHHHHH!" He started running off crazilly in the direction they were "supposed" to go waving his arms about like a loon.
"... Should we follow him?" asked Bolgmon. The others shrugged and just walked off behind him.
"Ack, wait for me, Vritra-kun!" said Shutumon, putting away her notebook, and flying after them at top speed.
"Phew. And I'd thought they'd never leave. But thank goodness that little comment sent them off or *that* ordeal would've been a bit awkward." BTmon mused to himself. Then he realized that he was still lying on the ground... and no one was around. "Um... help?"
~*~
A little later - and by a "little later" I mean five minutes - the Chosen Children somehow made their way to where BTmon was.
"Woah, it's a big tower... thing!" said Neemon.
"Thank you, Captain Obvious!" retorted Bokomon.
"... FINALLY. SOMEONE ELSE. HELP ME UP FOR THE LOVE OF PETE." BTmon boomed.
"HOLY CRAP! THE THING TALKS!" The CC's exclaimed out of pure fright.
"Yes, I do. Quite ingeneous, isn't it? Now could you puuuuuhleeeaze help me up? Pweez? Pweety pweez?"
The CC's looked around at each other. "Uh, okay." said Takuya. "We'll just Spirt Evolve to our cool Beast Form thingers!" The others slapped their foreheads.
"Wait, Beast Forms... You. Goggle head. Your Beast Spirt wouldn't be Vritramon, would it?" asked BTmon.
Takuya was taken a bit by surprise. "Uh, yeah."
"Oh. Because yourself in that form in Chibi Form just ran off a little while ago."
"WHAT?" exclaimed Takuya and Izumi, remembering something similar from a good many Chapters ago.
The others cracked up.
"Chibi Beast Forms?" asked Junpei. "That's just... stupid."
"Not to mention impossible," said Kouji.
"Yes, and if they're were Chibi Versions of our Spirts running around, we would've known about it." commented Kouichi.
"What you guys said." said Tomoki.
"Hmm. An odd theory." pondered Bokomon.
"Oooh. Neat-o!" said Neemon.
Takuya and Izumi looked at each other nervously. "But um, where we they headed?" Izumi asked BTmon.
"They were headed for the Plot Device. That way." answered BTmon, and somehow motioning towards the direction the Chibi Beast Senseis had supposedly went.
"Then that's where we're headed too!" said Takuya as he dragged the others along and they all trotted off.
"... HEY, WHAT ABOUT ME?" exclaimed the still tilted-over tower.
And now the CC's are headed in the same direction. Hmm. But why do I get the feeling I'm forgetting another important plot element...?
~*~
A little ways down somewhere near the Happyville shore, we see three figures walking along the beach. And one has spotted an object carelessly lying in the sand. We can't see the first figure - having been conviently shaded dark for that dramatic effect - but they have leaned down to pick up the object. And it's a camera... that looks oddly familiar...
"Hmm. Something tells me that - even though it's not data - it'll be important to our mission! Hahahahahaha HA HA! ... Hehe. ... RhodoKnightmon, would you stop looking at every thing in every store you see? ¬¬"
"Oooh! But in that store they have a sale on tunics! Ooooh! A pink one! I must have!"
Dynasmon groaned as Lucemon slapped his forehead.
Dum dee dum dum dooo! And so, the "plot" thickens...
~End of Chapter 23! Yesh!~
A/n: Phew. Well, after months of not updating, I finally wrote something! =D Anyways, I went through a lot of drafts for this Chapter, but when I got to this one, it finally flowed, so I actually got something done! I just feel so accomplished. XD
Anyhoo, I'm pleased with this Ch and I hope you guys were too. But I'm not sure when I'll update again... Oh, but if anyone cares, after this update I'll be at the beach vacationing Saturday through Thursday, so when I get back I hope to have passed the 400th review mark. So help an author out. Pweez? =D
So ciao for now! I'm off to da beach, bay~bah!
- Karoru