Title: Just to talk Part III
Author: Nan
Rating: PG-13
Classification: Mac/Harm
Spoilers: Take It Like a Man
Authors Notes - Thought I'd take a swing at another chapter. I loved all of your comments, you silly people! Special note to 1ska - I love your comments, they really make me think.
This time it's Harm's turn to think about their relationship.
******************************************************************
They were sitting in the corner of one of the Washington Starbucks. Three café chairs circled a small beech wood table. Harm hated this ubiquitous coffee shop style; there was no room for his long legs as they curled under the Lilliputian furniture. He leaned forward, elbows on table listening to Mac and Mattie chat. Mattie had just finished her first meeting with Alateen.
He hoped he didn't look as uncomfortable as he felt. Something about a teenage girl and her problems scared the hell out of him. Intellectually, when he had first considered being Mattie's guardian, he knew it wouldn't be easy. But he had believed a consistent environment; supervision and a loving home could solve anything. Now he realized, this was a bit idealistic.
Parenthood, the great equalizer. A man could be a petty officer in the Navy or Chief of Naval Operations. But rank didn't matter when it came to his kids; he could still look like an idiot.
How could Mac be so at ease around Mattie? Mattie was obviously upset when she exited the community center after the meeting. The ninety minutes had been mind-numbingly boring and everyone was a loser. Not for the first time, she wished she were back in Blacksburg, instead of here, doing stupid things like this. Hearing this, Harm's impulse was to forget coffee and just take her back to her apartment.
As he started to open his mouth, Mac stepped in front of Harm and took the girl's arm, leading her toward the car. With a few skillful remarks, she managed to diffuse Mattie's anger. They drove to a nearby coffee shop.
Now he sat, virtually shut down as he listened with amazement as Mac drew Mattie out. She acknowledged Mattie's anger toward her father without judging. And as soon as the conversation became too grim, she could turn it around and talk about TV or pop music. Being somewhat of a pop culture dropout, Harm could only watch the two from the sidelines. He had little to add.
He leaned back on the small chair, stretched his cramped legs out and clasped his hands together across his lap as one elbow hooked the edge of the backrest. Keeping one ear on the conversation, he started to let his mind wander.
Thoughts flitted to something that was never far from the top of his mind. Sarah Mackenzie. Here she was, sitting across from him in beige slacks, cream-colored top and a red scarf. Harm loved seeing her out of uniform. He greedily catalogued the form fitting cut of the slacks and the plunging neckline style of the blouse. All things usually obscured by a Marine's uniform. Bonus. The arms of the top were elbow length, so he got a bit of naked forearm.
Trying to be unobtrusive, he studied her face as she laughed with Mattie. Mac was an expert at covering her true feelings and Harm wondered how she was doing. The killing of Sadik had shaken her. If her recent court performance wasn't an indication, her wee-hours of the morning phone call certainly was.
Harm thought about the midnight conversation. He never wanted her to apologize for what happened in Paraguay. Sure, some sort of acknowledgement would have been nice. But a sincere thank you wasn't his objective when he gave his resignation to Chegwidden. When he had gone to Paraguay to find Sarah Mackenzie, he had wanted two things. He wanted to get her out of danger and he wanted to prove to her that he loved her, once and for all. Unfortunately, Webb beat him to it.
Five months of flying for the CIA had given him a lot of time to ponder the enigma of Mac and Harm. He had been convinced then - there was no future for them, no matter how much he wanted it to happen.
But this recent encounter with Sadik and Mac's reaction to it had made Harm reconsider. He wondered now, if had misread the events of Paraguay. If so, he had misread them badly.
Mac needed help. No, make that Sarah. In his mind, Harm longed to call her Sarah. Mac was her work persona and Harm longed to get past the name 'Mac.' Just like he longed to see more than a pretty forearm out of uniform.
But now for the million dollar question. Mac needed help. But was it his help that she needed? So much history between them. And lately, so much of it had ended badly, both people bleeding in a metaphoric sense. Harm loved Mac. And in his heart of hearts, he was positive she loved him. The question now stood between them was not love. The question now was - could they make each other happy?
Could he stop hurting her and help her?
"Earth to Harm." Mattie's voice cut into his thoughts. "You still with us?"
He smiled at the two of them. "Sure," he said. "Something about 'The OC,' right? What is that anyway?"
Mattie rolled her eyes at Mac. "He can be so oblivious sometimes. Don't you think?"
Mac smiled too. "He had a misspent youth. A mother and a stepdaddy who indulged him too much."
Harm stared at Mac. Is that what she thought? Compared to Mac and Mattie, his teenage years had been trouble free. The quest for his MIA father had been his own creation. Besides that, he had two parents who loved him.
He looked at Mac. "So they did. Maybe that's why I like you around, you help keep my feet on the ground."
"Ooooooo, a compliment from the flyboy. I'm impressed," laughed Mac.
"Flyboy?" said Mattie looking between them.
Mac said, "Ancient history. An old nickname I used when we first worked together."
"Not so ancient," said Harm. "You've used it recently. In Paraguay." He thought of the night they shared together in the hotel room. An almost kiss that might have changed the course of events.
Mac looked away, uncomfortable. Harm changed the subject, "Mattie, you have school tomorrow. We should get going. Any homework yet to do?"
They walked out together, Harm still wondering how he was going to help Mac.
TBC?
Author: Nan
Rating: PG-13
Classification: Mac/Harm
Spoilers: Take It Like a Man
Authors Notes - Thought I'd take a swing at another chapter. I loved all of your comments, you silly people! Special note to 1ska - I love your comments, they really make me think.
This time it's Harm's turn to think about their relationship.
******************************************************************
They were sitting in the corner of one of the Washington Starbucks. Three café chairs circled a small beech wood table. Harm hated this ubiquitous coffee shop style; there was no room for his long legs as they curled under the Lilliputian furniture. He leaned forward, elbows on table listening to Mac and Mattie chat. Mattie had just finished her first meeting with Alateen.
He hoped he didn't look as uncomfortable as he felt. Something about a teenage girl and her problems scared the hell out of him. Intellectually, when he had first considered being Mattie's guardian, he knew it wouldn't be easy. But he had believed a consistent environment; supervision and a loving home could solve anything. Now he realized, this was a bit idealistic.
Parenthood, the great equalizer. A man could be a petty officer in the Navy or Chief of Naval Operations. But rank didn't matter when it came to his kids; he could still look like an idiot.
How could Mac be so at ease around Mattie? Mattie was obviously upset when she exited the community center after the meeting. The ninety minutes had been mind-numbingly boring and everyone was a loser. Not for the first time, she wished she were back in Blacksburg, instead of here, doing stupid things like this. Hearing this, Harm's impulse was to forget coffee and just take her back to her apartment.
As he started to open his mouth, Mac stepped in front of Harm and took the girl's arm, leading her toward the car. With a few skillful remarks, she managed to diffuse Mattie's anger. They drove to a nearby coffee shop.
Now he sat, virtually shut down as he listened with amazement as Mac drew Mattie out. She acknowledged Mattie's anger toward her father without judging. And as soon as the conversation became too grim, she could turn it around and talk about TV or pop music. Being somewhat of a pop culture dropout, Harm could only watch the two from the sidelines. He had little to add.
He leaned back on the small chair, stretched his cramped legs out and clasped his hands together across his lap as one elbow hooked the edge of the backrest. Keeping one ear on the conversation, he started to let his mind wander.
Thoughts flitted to something that was never far from the top of his mind. Sarah Mackenzie. Here she was, sitting across from him in beige slacks, cream-colored top and a red scarf. Harm loved seeing her out of uniform. He greedily catalogued the form fitting cut of the slacks and the plunging neckline style of the blouse. All things usually obscured by a Marine's uniform. Bonus. The arms of the top were elbow length, so he got a bit of naked forearm.
Trying to be unobtrusive, he studied her face as she laughed with Mattie. Mac was an expert at covering her true feelings and Harm wondered how she was doing. The killing of Sadik had shaken her. If her recent court performance wasn't an indication, her wee-hours of the morning phone call certainly was.
Harm thought about the midnight conversation. He never wanted her to apologize for what happened in Paraguay. Sure, some sort of acknowledgement would have been nice. But a sincere thank you wasn't his objective when he gave his resignation to Chegwidden. When he had gone to Paraguay to find Sarah Mackenzie, he had wanted two things. He wanted to get her out of danger and he wanted to prove to her that he loved her, once and for all. Unfortunately, Webb beat him to it.
Five months of flying for the CIA had given him a lot of time to ponder the enigma of Mac and Harm. He had been convinced then - there was no future for them, no matter how much he wanted it to happen.
But this recent encounter with Sadik and Mac's reaction to it had made Harm reconsider. He wondered now, if had misread the events of Paraguay. If so, he had misread them badly.
Mac needed help. No, make that Sarah. In his mind, Harm longed to call her Sarah. Mac was her work persona and Harm longed to get past the name 'Mac.' Just like he longed to see more than a pretty forearm out of uniform.
But now for the million dollar question. Mac needed help. But was it his help that she needed? So much history between them. And lately, so much of it had ended badly, both people bleeding in a metaphoric sense. Harm loved Mac. And in his heart of hearts, he was positive she loved him. The question now stood between them was not love. The question now was - could they make each other happy?
Could he stop hurting her and help her?
"Earth to Harm." Mattie's voice cut into his thoughts. "You still with us?"
He smiled at the two of them. "Sure," he said. "Something about 'The OC,' right? What is that anyway?"
Mattie rolled her eyes at Mac. "He can be so oblivious sometimes. Don't you think?"
Mac smiled too. "He had a misspent youth. A mother and a stepdaddy who indulged him too much."
Harm stared at Mac. Is that what she thought? Compared to Mac and Mattie, his teenage years had been trouble free. The quest for his MIA father had been his own creation. Besides that, he had two parents who loved him.
He looked at Mac. "So they did. Maybe that's why I like you around, you help keep my feet on the ground."
"Ooooooo, a compliment from the flyboy. I'm impressed," laughed Mac.
"Flyboy?" said Mattie looking between them.
Mac said, "Ancient history. An old nickname I used when we first worked together."
"Not so ancient," said Harm. "You've used it recently. In Paraguay." He thought of the night they shared together in the hotel room. An almost kiss that might have changed the course of events.
Mac looked away, uncomfortable. Harm changed the subject, "Mattie, you have school tomorrow. We should get going. Any homework yet to do?"
They walked out together, Harm still wondering how he was going to help Mac.
TBC?